Chapter 49: Open Your Heart

“What are you all doing? If you’re here, come in.”

“I came out because it was so noisy…”

It was a scolding, gravelly voice.

The familiar voice of the grandmother.

The monster that had been rushing towards the front gate was annihilated by Seoa’s magic, turning into black powder before vanishing.

It all happened in an instant.

Just as I let out a breath of relief, the sight of the grandmother appearing from the direction the voice came from made my mind freeze.

‘How long has she been watching?’

A cold rage surged within me.

The precious scene of Lee Seoa using magic of her own will, this crucial step toward her completion, being shared with another person and of all things, with another one of my ‘works’—was a dreadful thought.

‘This way, they’ll both be ruined.’

‘This shouldn’t be happening.’

“Oh, Grandma…? How long have you been out here?”

Flustered that her use of magic might have been seen, Seoa stammered her question.
Grandma Sunbok replied in her usual, slightly annoyed tone.

“It was noisy outside, so I just came out. That’s enough, if you’re here, come on in. I’ve made food.”

Judging by her reaction, it seemed she hadn’t seen the monster or Seoa using magic.

Since it was over in a flash, it was reasonable to assume she hadn’t seen a thing.

Perhaps she heard a noise or felt a presence, but didn’t see it with her own eyes.

After all, she had been growing frail lately, her energy and eyesight both failing.

Or maybe she just didn’t care.

She was the type of person who lived her life without giving a thought to things like magic or monsters.

If she didn’t see, if she doesn’t know, then it doesn’t matter.

But if she felt even the slightest thing was amiss, that was a different story.

Sunbok’s secrets, her story, must be known only by me.

And Seoa’s secrets, her story, must also be known only by me.

Otherwise, I cannot convince myself that I have complete control over a person.

I call them ‘works’, but unless I can pry open their minds, I can only guess at their thoughts, at the space Ahn Yujin occupies within them.

If the two people, the two ‘works’, were to share a story, to share a secret, they would become mixed.

My rightful place would be stolen.

I would be pushed aside.

For example, if Grandma Sunbok, in the fleeting panorama of her final moments, were to remember not only Ahn Yujin’s face but also today’s events—the moment Lee Seoa defeated the monster—even for an instant…

Then the work could not be called perfectly complete.

A flawed jade bead, touched by another’s hand, can hardly be called perfection.

“Seoa.”

I unconsciously grabbed her hand as she was about to walk in with a happy smile.

“Grandma, we have something to do later today. I think we need to head back soon.”

‘If she thinks of me like family, like a granddaughter, this is a plausible excuse. I’m busy, so I can’t visit every single time, right?’

I spoke these words, wrapped in my own self-justification.

“I’m sorry.”

***

‘See, Spooky. You always told me to act like a proper magical girl, didn’t you?’

‘I saved people. Precious people.’

‘Entirely of my own will.’

‘I didn’t reveal my identity, but I think you’d like it if I did proper magical girl things, like saving people, even if I have to hide my true self, even if it’s hypocritical. Right?’

‘Still, it’s hard to give up the pleasure of killing one person every day… I’ll have to think about that later. Or maybe it’s okay to reduce it to once every few days?’

‘Instead, I’ll spend more time with Yujin. That would surely be happier.’

‘If I keep spending time with Yujin, maybe these urges will get better. That thing that happened last time, the thought of wanting to kill Yujin, it must have been just a momentary temptation.’

As I thought this, I looked at the little ghost quietly following me, but its gaze was fixed ahead, motionless.

‘Ah.’

‘How long has she been watching?’

‘Since when was Grandma Sunbok looking this way? I didn’t notice.’

“Oh, Grandma…? How long have you been out here?”

I could feel my own voice trembling.

Just moments ago, I was feeling good about saving someone, happy that I had finally done something worthy of a magical girl, and now my brain was concluding that I had to kill the grandmother.

She wasn’t the type to care about such things, and all I did was use a simple spell that wasn’t even very visible.

But if she saw the monster die in front of me, if she found out I’m a magical girl, and if one day the name Sanguine Obsidia finally crossed her mind…

‘I’ll have to kill her.’

To me, who had never experienced having grandparents, Grandma Sunbok was the only person who gave me that kind of familial affection.

It’s funny for me to think this myself, but my world is a very narrow place, built by following wherever Yujin leads.

Without her, I would have remained trapped in my room forever, eventually to be caught and killed by the other magical girls.

In such a world, the grandmother is one of the few sources of warmth other than Yujin.

But to hear from such a person, from her lips, the accusation of being a murderer…

To be scorned by her…

To be hated by her…

‘…It’s not as scary as I thought. Not compared to the fear of being abandoned by Yujin.’

‘Because Ahn Yujin is all I have.’

But I don’t want to kill her.

It’s a contradiction.

My thoughts spun uselessly as if in a fog, my disjointed thinking faltering.

‘Alright. Let’s try talking first. Ahn Yujin alone, her warmth alone, should have been enough, but somehow I’ve come to not want to lose the warmth of others either.’

As I had that thought and tried to approach her, I felt a hand grab me from behind.

“Grandma, we have something else to do later today. I think we need to head back soon. I’m sorry.”

Standing between me and the grandmother as if to block our line of sight, Yujin looked slightly anxious.

She quickly moved just the box we brought, grabbed my hand, and led me away from the grandmother’s house.

***

It was a strange, stifling, and slightly bewildering feeling of dissonance that was hard to understand.

In short, being enveloped in an atmosphere so different from the usual, my mind, contrary to my feelings, became calm.

This had never happened before.

“Seoa, here.”

Like how Yujin was now holding a spoon, trying to feed me.

“That won’t do. You have to say ‘ah~’.”

“…Ah, ah~.”

I opened my mouth, a little shy and awkward, and a spoonful of beef stew with a warm piece of meat filled it.

The rich umami of the tender vegetables spread through my mouth.

It was delicious, just like all the food she always made for me.

“Hehe, is it good? It’s been a while since I put this much effort into cooking.”

“Yeah. It’s delicious.”

She sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me, and I responded with a hug.

“I love you.”

I don’t think much changed in our behavior before or after I confessed my love.

If there was any change, it was that I started to actively pester her for kisses, and that she accepted them.

Just this morning, I was the one clinging to Yujin, asking for a kiss.

But ever since we came back from her grandmother’s house, her clinging to me so proactively felt somehow ticklish and awkward.

Not that I minded.

‘Did she become anxious after seeing me use magic, after seeing me defeat a monster?’

The anxiety and guilt that had been spinning and rising up had already subsided long ago.

If she had come to hate me, there’s no way she would have brought me back to her home.

Instead, questions arose.

‘Is she feeling anxious because she finally confirmed I’m a magical girl, after only suspecting it?’

‘Why?’

‘Is it because she’s afraid I’ll get hurt fighting monsters? Afraid I’ll die?’

‘…If Yujin were to get hurt, or die… I’ve thought about it hundreds, thousands of times, and the conclusion is always the same. I already can’t breathe for a moment without her.’

Even if there are others who give warmth in this cold world, I can’t warm myself by leaning on a candle.

Outside her embrace, I would freeze to death like a mayfly on a winter’s day.

“Yujin? I can’t eat like this…”

“I’ll feed you. Here.”

Pressing her whole body against me in an embrace, she skillfully tore off a piece of bread and put it in my mouth.

From her fingertips came the sweet taste of happiness.

At that happy taste, the sense of dissonance melted away like snow.

It was the first time she had embraced me first like this, and the first time we had made an excuse to the grandmother to leave early, but I guess days like this can happen.

‘She must have been preparing a special time for just the two of us, a dinner for two, so it wouldn’t be good for a monster or another person to interfere.’

‘I don’t even want to think about any other negative possibilities.’

‘Anything other than her, there’s no need to think about it. Not magical girls, not Sanguine Obsidia, not Spooky, not the Apostle Society, none of it.’

A light kiss before falling asleep, lying side by side in bed.

As always, our lips touched briefly.

“This isn’t enough.”

My vision spun.

Yujin’s lovely face was still before my eyes, but she was now on top of me.

From our clasped hands, I could feel the soft warmth of her slightly smaller hands, her slender fingers.

“Do you love me?”

It was a short phrase from her, who hesitated as if she had been pondering for a long time, choosing her words carefully.

I couldn’t tell how many more words were contained within her trembling eyes.

“I love you.”

‘More than anything. Because you are my everything.’

Through our touching chests, I could feel her heart pounding, beating as fiercely as it did during our first kiss.

For a long moment, we held each other’s gaze without a word.

Then our lips met.

The pressed lips didn’t part, and her tongue pushed its way through.

The tip of her tongue, which had been awkwardly wandering the gaps inside my lips, soon began to glide as if it had grown accustomed, sweeping and caressing the inside of my mouth.

The unfamiliar sensation invading my mouth traveled down my neck, my back, my waist, spreading throughout my entire body to become a hot pleasure.

Tongues tangled, sweet saliva was exchanged, breaths mingled, and a silvery thread stretched between our parted lips.

“Ah…”

The gasps escaping as we listened to each other’s ragged breaths, the heartbeats, the pleasure from the faint touch of our intertwined fingers wriggling and caressing.

“More.”

A sensation hotter and sweeter than our first kiss, than the moment I first met you, touched my lips again.

‘I’m not good with words. I don’t know the words to capture this sensation, this pleasure. Since I don’t know, just let me feel it. With these lips.’

‘Paint over everything with the color of your lips. Over the anxiety, the pulsation of the tumor, the urges, the joy of murder.’

That night, I was able to fall asleep peacefully in her arms, without the urge to kill anyone.