Chapter 47: Midsummer Night (2)

“…Weren’t we going to sleep in the same bed?”

So-yul asked this question with clear hesitation yet unmistakable intent.

Her gaze was fixed somewhere in a corner, as if fully aware of what her words implied.

At first I wondered what she’d misunderstood. We hadn’t agreed to share the bed. I’d just offered to let her use my room.

A guy and girl who weren’t even really dating sleeping in the same bed – it seemed impossible to accept as reasonable. I’d thought So-yul would naturally understand this too.

No, she probably understood perfectly well, which was why she reacted this way.

That meant she must have some logic of her own.

“In the same bed?”

“Yeah.”

So-yul answered in a small voice then:

“The dorm supervisor sometimes comes by in the early morning, right? To check if anyone’s staying up doing other things. It’s rare, but it could happen tonight of all nights. If we get caught here, we’d both be in huge trouble…”

She trailed off, seemingly too embarrassed to finish her thought.

In short, she was saying we had no choice but to share the bed.

“I have heard they come around occasionally…”

Though the supervisor looked the other way right after lights out, they didn’t want students staying up until dawn since they wouldn’t be able to focus in class. That’s why they made surprise visits to check if students were properly sleeping around that time.

“Right?”

So-yul tilted her head seeking agreement then:

“But what happens if they open the door and find you lying on the floor?”

“Well, they’d check the bed.”

And then they’d find So-yul sleeping peacefully. Even if she hid under the blanket, they’d still see the human-shaped lump.

In this situation, there was only one best solution.

So-yul and I would lie together in the bed. So-yul would completely hide under the covers.

And to avoid a person’s shape showing through the blanket… we’d have to press close together.

We couldn’t just ignore this possibility.

Dating was already forbidden, and now I’d brought someone of the opposite sex into the dorm. Just this alone could bring who knows what punishment. We should focus on not getting caught in the first place.

But still, somehow…

No matter how long I hesitated and tried to think of alternatives, I couldn’t find another solution. We couldn’t even briefly hide So-yul during a crisis like before since we’d be asleep.

What on earth should we do?

“…I’m sleepy.”

So-yul’s voice cut into my long deliberation.

I knew she wasn’t really saying it because she was sleepy. She probably wanted to hurry my decision.

There was no other choice anyway.

Steadying my wavering heart, I spoke:

“Okay.”

After this brief answer, I immediately headed to the bed. As I passed by, So-yul kept her eyes lowered.

I promptly lay down and pulled up the blanket. Hesitating would only make things more awkward. I wanted to appear as nonchalant as possible.

Though it seemed I couldn’t hide it completely.

So-yul’s movements as she hurriedly followed me to the bed were amusingly stiff.

Her expression was rigid with tension. Her lips were tightly pressed together, her eyes wide open. Even those eyes kept wandering around, unable to settle anywhere.

Thinking I must have looked the same, I smiled bitterly to myself.

Soon after, So-yul sat down demurely beside me. Perhaps due to her light frame, the bed didn’t move at all.

She slipped her legs under the blanket then slowly lowered her upper body.

Her fine amber hair filled my vision, and it didn’t take long before her face came to rest on the same pillow.

Our eyes met at a distance where I could feel her breath.

Naturally, awkwardness overwhelmed both of us.

“…Dummy.”

A laugh escaped me at the sudden accusation.

“Why suddenly?”

“Don’t know. You’re just a dummy.”

So-yul replied as if complaining. Her added “hmph” was likely an expression of awkwardness.

I felt just as awkward.

Her soft, fair skin. Her doll-like long eyelashes. Her ear peeking through disheveled hair, and her lips flaunting an alluring pink shade.

And the sweet fragrance that always wafted gently was now tickling my nose so distinctly.

With such attractive features, and me secretly liking her on top of that – how could I possibly act normal?

I couldn’t look away because I didn’t want to miss seeing her, yet I couldn’t meet her eyes due to embarrassment.

After wasting time in this indecisive state, I finally came to my senses.

“It’ll be awkward sleeping with someone watching, so I’ll face the other way.”

“Okay.”

Her voice was infinitely thin.

Anyway, I slowly turned around. Simultaneously, rustling sounds came from behind. So-yul must have hidden herself under the blanket.

“Good night.”

“…Yeah. Good night to you too.”

The final greeting returning from under the blanket confirmed it.

Though it might be hot since it was summer, this was the thinnest blanket. I hoped she wouldn’t be too uncomfortable in this unexpected sleeping arrangement.

Of course, that was ridiculous to hope for.

Even I, who always slept here, had my ears ringing from my fierce heartbeat. Moreover, So-yul suddenly had to spend the night in a guy’s room. She couldn’t possibly be comfortable.

I wanted to be careful not to touch her, but even that wasn’t easy. We only had one blanket, and we needed to look like one person, so our backs kept lightly brushing against each other.

Every point of contact created a ticklish sensation, making my head spin.

There was no way I could fall asleep easily in this situation.

My loudly pounding heart kept interfering with sleep.

I couldn’t even toss and turn since any movement might wake So-yul. All I could do was keep my eyes tightly shut and wait for drowsiness to come.

“…Are you asleep?”

So-yul’s words turned all these efforts to nothing.

It was just like her to never miss a chance to tease me.

“Not yet.”

“Hmm.”

So-yul made an ambiguous sound then:

“Come to think of it… I’ve been curious about something.”

“Curious about what?”

What could it be suddenly? Until now, she hadn’t been the type to carefully consider things about me. I thought she’d always resolved her curiosities right away.

As I waited, finding this somewhat unexpected, So-yul’s voice continued:

“…Is there something going on at home?”

It was quite a bold question.

Seeming to realize this only after asking, So-yul hastily added:

“If-if it’s rude or hard to talk about, never mind. I don’t have to know. Just maybe, since I told you about my situation. Maybe you could tell me, no, not like a trade or anything. Maybe I could help somehow…”

She panicked all by herself though I hadn’t said anything. I gave a small laugh to show it was okay.

“I don’t mind. I’ll tell you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Though I hadn’t planned to show it openly, I hadn’t intended to keep it completely hidden either. I’d just decided not to mention it unless So-yul asked. That was about the extent of my resolve.

I hadn’t expected it to be now. Well, maybe So-yul felt braver since we were already doing something much bolder than usual.

Anyway, I should start with the conclusion.

That would be the easiest explanation to understand.

“Actually, my parents divorced too. When I was in middle school.”

“…Oh. I see.”

So-yul’s response was subdued after just one sentence.

I’d told her I was fine. And I wasn’t just pretending to be fine – I really didn’t mind.

Well, it couldn’t be helped from a listener’s perspective. I raised my voice slightly to keep So-yul from feeling sorry.

“It was shocking at the time, but after a few months it just felt normal. I was slowly getting used to living with just Mom.”

“…Was getting used to?”

She seemed to catch something in the ambiguous nuance.

I continued regardless:

“Mom left me behind saying she wanted to live her own life.”

A sharp intake of breath came from under the blanket.

“She got me a room and then cut off contact. She sometimes calls one-sidedly and pays the rent, but that’s it. I could probably meet her through legal means if I tried, but I don’t really want to.”

Abandoning your child meant any affection was gone. Even if forced by obligation, it would be hard to expect proper parenting.

Anyway, high school was a boarding school. College would probably be similar. Getting a job and becoming independent was normal. There was no reason to cling to parents now. This current life was better.

“But… you grew up well without becoming twisted.”

Her tone seemed somewhat looking down on me.

“Right. Unlike someone who sneaks out of the dorm at night and can’t get back in.”

“Shut up.”

When she tried to yank the blanket away in response, I said “Sorry.” So-yul’s little acts of revenge were just amusing.

But well. It was worth thinking about.

Being abandoned by both parents in just a few months, my family completely falling apart – yet I hadn’t become twisted and had lived like a model student, at least outwardly. It probably wasn’t very common.

If I had to consider the reason myself…

“Because that’s how I lived.”

“…Because that’s how you lived?”

“Yeah.”

After organizing my thoughts, I put them into words directly:

“I only studied until that happened. When the situation suddenly changed, it felt weird to stop. Like inertia, I just went with the flow, I guess.”

“…Yeah.”

So-yul’s tone suggested she didn’t understand 100%. Well, I hadn’t said it expecting understanding. There was no set answer, it was just my own conclusion.

“Anyway, that’s how it was.”

I wrapped up to break the heavy atmosphere and closed my eyes.

Though we’d said to go to sleep soon, we ended up having this long conversation. If our voices leaked out, the dorm supervisor might come. Maybe I’d been too casual.

Of course, So-yul wasn’t one to understand such concerns.

“When you went home…”

“What?”

“After exams when you went home. I called you then.”

“Ah, yeah. You did.”

The piano playing that rang through the phone. The memory of finding some comfort in that sound was still vivid.

“Actually, back then… I thought you’d be home resting and eating well. But when you said you hadn’t eaten and felt lonely… I was a bit worried.”

“I know. You said so yourself. That you were worried as my fake girlfriend.”

As a fake girlfriend calling her fake boyfriend. Even though it was fake, since we were dating, it was only right to at least pretend to worry about the other person. That must have been her thinking.

“That’s not what I meant.”

As if reading my thoughts, So-yul quietly denied it then:

“Forget about being a fake girlfriend… I just worried about you, that’s all.”

She added this in a somewhat sulky tone.

One statement saying she worried about me as a person, regardless of our relationship.

Naturally, I couldn’t help feeling happy hearing such words from the person I liked.

Though my lips curved up involuntarily and my chest grew warm, I had no way to contain it.

“Thank you.”

Even to my own ears, my response was filled with joy.

For a moment I worried So-yul might notice my feelings.

But soon after, such concerns completely vanished.

Because I felt one delicate, fragile touch on my back.

“It must have been hard.”

A faint whisper that seemed to have circled her mouth several times before coming out.

The gentleness in her soft voice felt like it was healing wounds even I didn’t know about.

Her warm hand softly stroking my back was almost hot to the touch.

“…It wasn’t really hard.”

“You had to say that, didn’t you.”

So-yul firmly responded to my words that tried to sound strong.

As if saying it was okay to be childish just this once. No, as if asking me to be childish with her.

Was that really true?

Had I secretly been looking for someone to embrace my wounds?

Had I just pretended to be okay because I had nowhere to lean on, while inside hoping for someone’s comfort?

Even so, I couldn’t know that much.

Only one thing was certain:

So-yul’s touch felt gentler than ever before.