Chapter 468: Nice To Meet You (3)

Rumble-!

I endured for a very long time, barely holding onto my consciousness in the midst of a raging storm.

My body felt so full it felt like it was going to explode any moment.

Because of that, I was worried I would lose control of my body even if I relaxed a little bit.

Crack-

I heard the sound of something constantly breaking and reassembling inside my body.

The pain I felt in the process was way too much for me to handle.

It was not even close to getting injured in a battle.

Craaack-!

My bones moved around, and my skin ripped apart.

My inner organs and blood felt super-hot as if they were boiling.

I couldn’t even scream in the process.

I knew everything would explode if I opened my mouth to scream right now.

I held my breath.

The storming Qi endlessly dug into my body.

It had been a long time since my body reached its limit.

This was much more than what I could hold.

Yet.

Just how was I enduring this process?

It felt like my skin was ripping apart, and my body was begging me to kill it.

Blinking my eyes and breathing in and out.

Those were the only things I was able to do in this painful situation filled with despair.

As my body was barely managing to hold on, the bones inside continued to break and reassemble a thousand times and over.

Crack-

I heard them break.

Riiip-!

I also heard the sound of something ripping apart.

I was feeling pain all over my body, so I didn’t know where it was even coming from at this point.

I wanted to die.

The pain was so much that I wanted it to end already.

I wanted to give up instantly and die.

What was I going through this pain for?

Why was I enduring this process when I was about to lose my mind?

Slam-! Slam-!

Did they notice me getting weaker mentally?

The Qi inside my body started to go wild now.

It felt as if they wanted to break out of my body.

You are the one that entered in the first place, you piece of shits.

I slightly opened my eyes.

That was the best I could do as I couldn’t fully open them.

Hah.

I let out a chuckle as soon as I saw the sight.

The space that was originally filled with water, was now completely empty.

All of the liquid disappeared.

Where? Inside my body of course.

The water that filled this entire space, was now inside my body.

I put all of that inside my tiny body, which was why I felt like I was going to explode.

Slam-!

“Hugh…!”

I failed to hold it in and let out a gasp in pain.

Blue Qi started leaking from my mouth slightly opened mouth.

Thump-!

Because of that, my heart beat once very loudly.

Even a small vibration like that was already too painful for me, that was really close just now.

Dammit.

How long? Just how long do I have to hold on for?

I was able to realize a few things by this point.

Humans were much more durable than I thought, as I was holding on even while I was over my limit.

Riiip-

“…!”

A part of my skin started to rip apart.

It wasn’t like I was getting cut from a blade, but more like the whole skin layer was falling off.

Swish…

New skin started to grow after they fell off.

It hurt when it was ripped apart, and it hurt another time when it grew back.

There couldn’t have been anything more bullshit than this.

Ugh, dammit. I would’ve just succumbed to the bastard if I knew that this was going to happen.

The Blood Qi monster asked me to succumb, and I should have, as I was clearly regretting now.

Sigh.

Why was my life always like this?

Could I even call it a life anymore?

I would no longer be human once this is all over, after all.

…Great.

I wanted to live this life as an ordinary human, but now I couldn’t even live as one.

What a shitty life this was.

As I continued to grit my teeth with my hands curled into fists,

[Then-]

[Why do you try to endure?]

I started to hear a voice in my head.

I’ve been hearing this voice faintly since I started to endure the pain.

It sounded the same as the Blood Qi’s voice, but its tone felt different.

Maybe I’m hallucinating.

It was possible I was hearing this faint voice because of how much pain I was in.

I didn’t care about it.

I wasn’t particularly afraid of going insane.

[It would be so easy if you just gave up. Why are you enduring?]

However, it did annoy me a little.

[You say you aren’t afraid of death, yet why do you cling to your life?]

Can you shut up for a second? I can’t focus.

[I don’t understand.]

Did I ask you to?

Even I don’t understand myself, so how would anyone else?

Why was I doing this?

It’s too late to look for that reason now.

I came too far for me to give a reason.

Of course, there were many reasons why I came this far.

It could’ve been because I had to save the world from the upcoming disaster that would unfold.

Or perhaps it was so that I could reach a higher level than anyone.

I could have given many reasons for that question, but it was none of those things.

[Then why…]

I’m curious myself.

It feels like I had a reason before, but I wasn’t sure at this point.

If it were Elder Shin instead of me in this situation, he would’ve said that he had to save the world or whatever, but I didn’t really care about such a thing, as I wasn’t a heroic figure like him.

It didn’t matter if the world was ending, or if it had a grand secret.

But even so, if I had to give a reason…

I would feel too shameless to go see them if I gave up so easily.

I guess it would be that.

[For… something so measly?]

The voice reacted speechlessly when I finally came up with a reason.

Why was this bastard provoking me?

Now even you are trying to piss me off?

How absurd.

I only felt speechless.

The Blood Qi monster went on a rampage earlier, and now-

My regret was giving me this nonsense.

It was my last remains of myself being human that was asking me these questions.

When I answered in a harsh tone, the voice spoke hesitantly.

[…I… don’t want to become a filthy monster.]

Its tone sounded sad, angry, and resentful at the same time.

I know.

I knew very well myself.

I wanted to die as a human being.

I couldn’t do that in my past life, so I wanted to do that in this life at the very least.

I wondered if it became impossible after becoming Demonic Human again, but I still hoped for it anyway.

[But… You could still give up now.]

I can.

I could die as a human if I gave up right now.

Yes, indeed.

I wouldn’t become this unknown species that was supposedly superior to the human race.

Instead, I could die as a race I was born into.

I couldn’t stop laughing when that thought reached my mind.

What even was the meaning of being human, for me to regret this much?

Perhaps I wanted to know what it felt like to be human since I threw away my humanity a long time ago, ever since my past life?

Wrong.

I already knew the answer.

It was actually much more selfish than that.

I didn’t want to remain human because of my pride or greed.

It’s just that I wanted to be by their side as one.

[…I… want to remain as human.]

The voice still spoke with regret, resentment, and sadness.

I already knew that I didn’t have the right, and it was too late.

I was telling myself sharply in my mind, but my selfish greed kept poking its head out despite already knowing it.

Who cares when those things happened in my past life?

Wouldn’t it be okay if I lived my life differently this time?

How pathetic of me.

Despite all this time passing, I was still pathetic as ever.

Even so…

Sorry.

[…]

That’s too much even for me.

My life was filled with difficult decisions I had to make.

I never weighed them on a scale to see which would be heavier.

My past life was a mess because I chose the heavier side of the scale.

And it was going to be the same in this life as well.

I was still going to choose the heavier, more difficult side.

I weighed my last regrets and those that were precious to me on a scale.

To be honest, I didn’t even have to weigh them to compare the two.

I already knew deep inside my heart which one of the two was more valuable.

[…]

After reaching this far, I stopped hearing the regretful voice that haunted my mind.

Sorry.

Even so, I apologized once more.

I never actually apologized to myself ever in my life, but I felt that it was necessary this time.

Slam-!

The Qi raged harder as if it was rebelling against me, and the pain got worse as that happened.

I also felt a change in my body.

Woong-!

The energy filling my body started to move around.

They were already completely occupying my body all the way up to my head, so them moving around made me feel like I was going to go insane.

Swoosh-!

“Ug…gh…”

The horrifying amount of energy formed into the shape of a tornado.

Crack-!

My bones that were cracking instantly shattered into pieces, and they started to change right after.

Swoosh-!

Once my bones started to change, the raging Qi started to move to a different spot.

Where was it? I realized immediately.

They were going towards my heart.

Squeeze-!

“Aghhhhh!”

It already felt like I was going to explode with this much Qi inside my body, so all of it gathering into my chest brought unimaginable pain that couldn’t be compared to before.

That wasn’t the end of it.

Thump-!

They started to condense and became smaller.

It felt like I was being sucked into a blackhole.

I had to endure.

I had to endure even if I couldn’t.

Craaack-!

I heard the constant breaking sound.

Something was happening inside my body.

My vessel should’ve broken a long time ago by now, so what was breaking now?

Crack-! I was now able to hear the same sound from outside of my body as well.

The whole space was falling apart.

Slam-! Slam-!

My chest was about to explode.

The space was crumbling.

The sensation of myself falling apart haunted me.

While all of this was happening, I had to hold onto my consciousness.

I wasn’t going to let go.

I will only do that once this is over.

At least that was my goal.

After enduring for the longest time,

Slam…

Slam…

The crazy vibration started to calm down gradually.

The pain also began to diminish.

Just when I thought it was really over…

Ring-

I heard a small ringing sound from my chest.

Swoooosh-!

Then, the condensed energy started to scatter all over the place.

I was swept by way too much power, and I fainted as I couldn’t endure any longer.

After.

“Hah…!”

When I opened my eyes again, too many things had changed.