Chapter 460: Change (Change)

A white Dobok.

A plum blossom petal pattern drawn on the chest. A scar vertically crossing the neck, reaching the chin.

Sharply torn eyes and a heavily furrowed brow. Clearly, an impression of an unusual temperament.

It’s not for me to say, but anyone looking would agree that he doesn’t seem like an Orthodox person or a Taoist, would they?

Of all the figures I’ve seen so far, he was the fiercest-looking human.

Seeing him, he was a complete stranger.

But I knew who he was.

How could I not?

He was the very person whose voice had been ringing so loudly in my head.

Looking at the old man staring at me as if he didn’t like me, I carefully called out.

“Noy-a?”

“Hmph.”

At my call, the old man let out a loud snort.

I rubbed the back of my head, still tingling.

“Are you really Shin Noy-a?”

“Tsk tsk… How many times have I cleaned up the messes you’ve made, only for you to ask me this?”

The old man took a step closer.

He was surprisingly tall, taller than I expected. Maybe just under seven feet?

Is he really Shin Noy-a? If so, why is he here…

No, shouldn’t I figure out why I am seeing Noy-a here in the first place?

“You’re thinking stupid thoughts again.”

“Pardon?”

“Do you want me to hit the back of your head one more time? Snap out of it!”

My body flinched at Shin Noy-a’s roar.

I didn’t understand what he was talking about. What was I supposed to snap out of?

Yet, it felt like the blurry things in my mind were becoming relatively clearer.

A feeling that something was happening. As I was gradually feeling that sensation.

Noy-a still pouted, clearly displeased.

“Sigh. What a dim-witted fellow.”

“…Why are you acting like this the moment you see me? Give me a proper reason.”

“Right. You were always the type who needed everything spoon-fed.”

“…”

“Take a good look at your own chest.”

I tilted my head at Noy-a’s words and looked down. Why was he suddenly telling me to look at my chest…

“…!”

The moment I saw it, my eyes widened, and I reached out.

Filled with panic, I frantically patted my chest.

I couldn’t help it.

Where my heart should have been, there was a sizable hole.

“What the hell is this, crazy?”

What is this? Why is there a hole in my chest?

As I rolled my eyes around, wondering what this was all about out of nowhere.

Kkuhk kuhk.

“What a solid air hole you’ve got there.”

Shin Noy-a burst into laughter, finding my actions amusing. It was laughter close to mockery.

“…What… is this?”

When I asked why my body was in this state, Shin Noy-a pointed behind me with his finger.

Turning around, I saw the location of the giant egg I had been looking at earlier.

It was now surrounded by plum blossom petals, its appearance hidden.

“What is that…”

“That’s what was in your hole.”

“…What?”

I let out a breath at Noy-a’s words.

What was in my chest was that?

That…

“Wasn’t that my vessel…?”

Does that mean my vessel didn’t manifest?

“A vessel and a heart aren’t that different. In the end, it’s the same thing.”

“…A vessel should be located in the Dantian. How can they be the same?”

“Both will kill you if they break. Is there much difference?”

“…”

Well, if you put it that way, it’s true…

My words failed me. Shin Noy-a sighed deeply, looking at me.

“I was fighting tooth and nail to block it for you, and you go and cause such a huge accident.”

“You were blocking it for me?”

I listened intently to Noy-a’s words. Blocking what?

As I pondered, Shin Noy-a suddenly approached me.

Ku-ung!

“Kkeuh-eok!”

He struck the crown of my head hard with his fist.

The impact made my body stagger.

The pain was so intense that I had to sink down and cradle my head.

“Kkeu-eu-eu…”

As I groaned and whimpered, Noy-a spoke to me.

“The energy in your body keeps increasing, but your vessel can’t handle it. So, something else had to support it, didn’t it?”

“…You mean…”

I remembered Shin-ui’s words that my vessel was on the verge of breaking.

Did Shin Noy-a mean he was blocking it from breaking?

“Wh-when did this start?”

“You already have that look in your eyes. Why ask unnecessarily?”

“…”

Just as Shin Noy-a stopped talking to me.

Precisely, it was from when I finished my closed-door training.

‘Already from that time?’

Immediately after my rapid growth.

The silence I expected to last a few months had stretched into years, starting from then.

Could that mean…

“…You’ve been blocking it since then?”

“It improved a bit when your realm reached Hua Jing, but it couldn’t hold on for long.”

“Then, what about when you saved me at Bigo?”

Noy-a looked at me as if I were absurd.

“Are you saying I should have just let you die?”

“…”

“Geez. I went out of my way to help you, and you ask me that? You’re still a crazy bastard.”

I had nothing to say about that part.

As I casually avoided his gaze, Noy-a let out a small sigh and continued.

“Brat. Your vessel is by no means small. It’s actually quite large.”

Noy-a was speaking again, looking at the egg behind me.

“For such a vessel to be in this state, it means you’ve put in a lot of energy.”

The meaning of the vessel being on the verge of breaking due to too much energy was different from the internal energy.

If the vessel broke due to too much internal energy, it would have broken countless times based on my memories of my past life.

This wasn’t about the amount of energy, but the number of energies that was the problem.

The energy of Gu Yeom Hwa Ryun Gong.

The Taoist energy of Hwasan.

Demonic energy.

Blood energy.

And finally, the energy of Tu A Pa Cheon Mu.

A total of five energies were contained within the vessel, and it was correct to say that the vessel had finally reached its limit because of them.

…Now that I check, it is a bit much.

For an ordinary person, possessing even two energies would have been impossible.

It wasn’t strange for the vessel to be precarious.

“It’s not just that problem for now, though…”

“Yes?”

“That’s not important right now. I need to talk about something else first.”

Sa-rak.

Shin Noy-a reached out his hand. Towards the plum blossom petals surrounding the egg, and as his fingertips touched them.

Hwa-a-ak!

The plum blossom petals reacted.

The color of the petals tightly wrapping the egg faded, becoming translucent.

Making the egg inside fully visible.

“…”

Looking at the egg again, it was utterly pathetic.

It was densely cracked, looking like it would shatter with a single tap.

An unknown liquid was still flowing from the cracks.

Fortunately, the plum blossom petals were wrapping the outside, barely holding it together.

In other words.

It had been in this state all along, and I hadn’t known.

“That’s wrong.”

At Shin Noy-a’s words, I turned my head in surprise.

“…Are you using mind-reading or something?”

I hadn’t said anything, so how did he know?

“As I always say, brat, your face shows everything.”

Noy-a looked at me pitifully and said.

“It was already no different from a rag to begin with.”

A rag, coming from a Taoist…? His eloquence was still indescribable.

“It’s more accurate to say that this incident has accelerated the process.”

“This incident? What are you talking about?”

What did he mean, ‘this incident’?

Did something happen to me?

Seeing my face full of questions, Noy-a looked at me with surprisingly somber eyes.

“Recall it before it’s too late. You don’t have much time.”

“So, what…”

“Or perhaps, would you rather forget?”

“After appearing after such a long time, you keep saying things I don’t understand…”

“I’m telling you to recall why you are here.”

Why I am here?

Right.

Why am I here?

Why is my chest in this state, and what does it mean that it’s accelerated?

Since Shin Noy-a is telling me to recall, it seems like he knows.

I don’t know.

Nothing came to mind.

Seeing me stuttering, as if I knew nothing, Shin Noy-a added one more thing.

“If you’re just going to worry about it and regret it after losing it, then I respect your choice.”

“Lose what?”

Lose.

At that word, a stinging sensation shot through the empty corner of my chest.

What was I losing?

The reason I came here…

“Kkeuk…”

A sudden headache struck, and I clutched my temples. It felt like something was about to surface along with the pain.

And not long after.

“Huh…”

Letting out a breath, I had to fumble at my chest. The sensation of my heart being pierced by a sharp sword tip came back to me.

Only then did things start coming back one by one.

The moment Cheon-jun attacked, myself helplessly facing death.

Even the back of Cheon-jun as he emitted killing intent towards Ma-geom-hu.

A vibration echoed.

U-u-ung!

It was a resonance from the giant egg before my eyes.

Looking at it, I asked Shin Noy-a.

“…Am I… dead?”

“Not yet. But you will be soon.”

“…”

My heart was pierced.

The vessel was in that state, and Noy-a said it was accelerated by the recent incident.

So, it wouldn’t be long before it broke.

Recalling that much, I shifted my gaze to Shin Noy-a.

“What should I do?”

It was a question about the method. Hearing my question, Noy-a’s expression showed disbelief.

“You’re on the verge of death right now, and you’re asking me how to find a solution?”

“You’re telling me this because you know the method, aren’t you?”

“Hah.”

I don’t know what this space is.

Whether it’s a space shaped by my inner self, or some other space, I don’t care.

What’s important is that Shin Noy-a appeared here and is talking to me.

“Look at this shameless bastard, now he’s even demanding I clean up his shit.”

“Yes. Since you’re cleaning it up anyway, please clean it up one more time.”

“Hah.”

I said it as shamelessly as possible. Because I knew I didn’t even have time to beg or figure things out.

Ku-gu-gung.

I felt more intense movement from the egg.

It felt like it would break at any moment, but Noy-a’s energy was blocking it.

“What should I do?”

“…Why do you think I know the method?”

“You’re making that face because you know, aren’t you?”

“…”

Hearing my words, Noy-a’s expression crumpled further.

“There is a method, but it doesn’t seem particularly useful. And there’s no other method. That’s roughly the expression you have.”

“…It seems like you’re the one using mind-reading, not me.”

“Noy-a, your expression shows a lot too.”

Kkeul-kkeul…

Shin Noy-a let out a bitter laugh at my words.

I was seeing his face for the first time, yet it felt so familiar, as if we’d always been together.

Setting aside that longing. There was something I needed to know now.

“…Please tell me the method to overcome this situation. Noy-a.”

If I really died with my heart pierced, how could I possibly survive this?

Noy-a looked into my eyes and chuckled.

“The guy who was clueless just moments ago suddenly gets his eyes back when a woman is involved. Tsk tsk.”

“…”

“A method… Yes, there is a method.”

I listened intently to Noy-a’s reply.

What could it be? Since the vessel is about to break, is it a method to widen the vessel?

Or perhaps he’s going to give me some fortuitous encounter?

I felt a bit uneasy remembering that he said consuming anything more here would be unmanageable…

“Whatever you’re thinking, widening the vessel is impossible.”

Sensing my thoughts again, Shin Noy-a answered immediately.

“Even if I were to tidy up your unstable realm, it wouldn’t become a vessel large enough to handle that.”

“…Then what should I do?”

To my questioning words, Noy-a pointed at the egg behind me again.

I wondered why he was pointing at it so suddenly.

“If it has accumulated so much that it can no longer endure, then let it flow instead.”

“Yes…?”

Just let it flow? Does that mean I should just let it be, whether the vessel breaks or not?

“Won’t I die if the vessel breaks then?”

“You will.”

“Then, in the end…”

“As a human, that is.”

“…!”

My eyes widened at Noy-a’s chilling words.

I die as a human? What on earth does that mean…

“You already know, don’t you? That it’s becoming difficult to call yourself human.”

“…”

“That is the last frame maintaining you as a human.”

The last frame.

“…That vessel is the last frame keeping me alive as a human?”

“Moreover, the reason it’s enduring so tenaciously without breaking, brat, is your lingering attachment.”

“Lingering attachment…?”

“Yes, your final attachment to wanting to live as a human.”

Gguk.

My fists clenched involuntarily.

Lingering attachment?

Is my desire to remain human the reason for this?

The clanging water flowed, wetting the floor.

Is all of this, barely enduring to contain that water, my lingering attachment?

“…I don’t understand.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand. What’s important… is the choice you make now.”

“…Noy-a.”

“The reason I’ve been blocking that until now was purely out of my own greed.”

“Greed, you say?”

“If your desire to remain human is lingering attachment, then my greed was wanting to keep you human.”

“…”

“Because I wanted you to remain human.”

A faint bitterness lingered in Noy-a’s voice.

“Now, even that is too late. It’s time for you to choose.”

What was I supposed to choose? I faced Noy-a, not hiding the wavering in my eyes.

“If you wish, you can die here eternally as a human.”

“…!”

As Noy-a spoke, the plum blossom petals fluttering in the air gathered at his fingertips.

Thus, gathered into a handful, they took the form of a sword.

The crimson tip of the sword held in Noy-a’s hand pointed towards me.

“So, choose. Whether to end it here, or to live having abandoned your humanity.”

“…”

Life and death.

Choosing between them was actually a biased choice.

How could it not be? That’s what living is.

Even knowing all that, I couldn’t easily give an answer.

Becoming not human.

The pressure of those words made me clamp my mouth shut.

“…If I’m not human… what will I become?”

“I don’t know. All I know is that if you choose that, you will definitely regret it.”

“If I choose this, will I be revived?”

“I don’t know about that either.”

“What do you mean by that…”

“Your body will revive, but whether what’s inside that shell is truly you, brat, is unknown.”

Those were truly terrifying words.

‘What if I’m not myself?’

If it’s not me, what will inhabit my body?

Furthermore, the warning that I would definitely regret it if I made this choice was also frightening.

I thought I could give up anything for the peace I desired.

But it seemed that wasn’t the case now.

‘I see.’

I thought, looking at the collapsing egg.

‘I guess I wanted to live as a human.’

Having lived an inhuman life as a demon in my past life.

I wanted to live an ordinary human life in this one.

This must have been a wish I wasn’t aware of.

Does his saying I’ll regret it if I give this up mean it’s certain?

Probably, it certainly would be.

And yet.

I moved forward with an expressionless face.

“…”

Noy-a, watching me, didn’t utter a word either.

He just watched me silently.

My destination was the egg.

Approaching it, the egg’s appearance was still a mess, looking like it would collapse any second.

It resembled my life.

A life covered in various colors, dented and broken.

The egg’s shape seemed to represent my life as a human.

Slowly, I reached my hand towards it.

Tak.

The texture was rough, with no soft spots.

It seemed to resemble its owner’s temperament.

Ignoring that, I pushed my hand deeper.

Ppa-deu-deuk!

The surface broke, and my hand easily dug into the inside.

The feeling inside… was somewhat warm.

“…Brat.”

In that situation, Noy-a called me in a weak voice.

“Yes.”

“Do you have no regrets about that choice?”

Hearing Noy-a’s question, I let out a laugh.

No regrets?

“No. I want to stop right now.”

“Then.”

“But there are too many things more important than my paltry pride.”

More important than my lingering attachment and pride to live and die as a human.

There were people I wanted to bring peace to with my damned life, and they were more important.

“If only my death and the world were on the scale, it would have been much easier.”

I’m the kind of person whose pride is more important than saving the world, so if that were the case, I would have chosen it in an instant.

Unfortunately, the opponent was too strong.

“…Hah.”

Hearing my answer, Noy-a laughed despairingly.

“You haven’t changed at all, even after all this time.”

“Noy-a hasn’t changed either.”

“What about me?”

“You’re still as ill-tempered as ever.”

“…You little bastard?”

Deu-deu-deuk.

As Noy-a distorted his face and tried to approach me.

Jjeo-jeo-jeok!

Starting from where my hand dug in, large cracks spread in all directions.

Water began to flow gradually from the long, thick cracks.

“…”

The situation felt like something tremendous was about to erupt.

Swallowing the small fear rising within me.

“Ah, right. Noy-a.”

I spoke to Noy-a.

“What is it?”

“When we meet again later.”

“Hm?”

As I continued speaking, the eggshell shattered into pieces, and the water inside began to gush out.

Kwa-a-a-a!

Just as I was about to be swept away by the immense current, I smiled widely and said to Noy-a.

“I think we have something to talk about regarding Madam Tang Jemun.”

“…”

Hearing Tang Jemun’s name made Noy-a’s expression priceless.

That’s enough.

I’ll endure this and tease that old man.

This feeling is enough for now.