Chapter 46 : GOD WANTS IT

“I… Nayas!”

A blinding light obscures my vision. 

In my ears, I can hear the desperate cries of someone calling out to the gods.

The sight of one seeking the gods is repulsive. 

It is beyond what one could imagine as human. 

But the light that descended upon him is incredibly beautiful.

Ugliness and beauty, two opposing concepts, coexist right before my eyes.

It is a paradoxical situation.

Humans tend to fear things that stray from their sense of reason.

So, I cannot help but feel a sense of alienation and fear at the sight before me.

The monster, which I never thought to be human, is calling out to the gods. 

The monster, which just moments ago I tried to slay with a sword, is now begging the gods for mercy.

The sight is almost like a human. 

It screams in pain, trembles in fear, and begs the gods for salvation.

I want to deny it.

I want to tell myself that it’s not human, that it’s just a monster mimicking humans.

Because if it’s not, then we…

We’ve been killing humans this entire time.

To one desperately seeking the gods…

I, chosen by the gods…

Tried to kill them.

It’s terrifying.

So terrifying!

This situation! My actions! All of it is terrifying!

I want to run. 

But the reality before me doesn’t allow me the chance to escape. 

It never has. 

The chains of the god known as the Hero have imprisoned me in the prison of duty.

Even if I want to escape reality, it doesn’t allow it.

Thus, I must face it again.

The reality before me.

“Dane…”

Agnes’s voice reaches my ears, trembling slightly.

She must have been shocked by this scene too.

“What will you do?”

What will I do…

I stared at it in silence. 

The light that had enveloped its body was now dimming, and darkness was taking its place.

“Uuueeeeeeek!”

It screams in pain once more. It seems that, with the blessing of the gods fading, pain has returned. 

Looking at it, it seems it will attack us again after some time.

Like before, it will swing its massive hands and charge at us.

If that happens, we will once again knock it down as we did before. 

And we will kill it. This time, we won’t make a mistake.

That’s how it will die.

While calling out to the gods.

I don’t want that. I don’t want to do that. But how do I stop it? What should I do?

Ah, I’ve got an idea!

I’ll deny this appearance. 

Deny the sounds it makes, deny the way it looks!

Then I won’t have to think about it anymore. I’ll just declare that it’s not human, and that will be the end of it.

Yes, this is just an act! It’s a monster pretending to be human because it doesn’t want to die! 

It couldn’t possibly be searching for the gods! 

Hearing Nayas’s name is just a coincidence! 

The fact that it looks like it’s talking is also just a coincidence!

So, if it dies, I won’t feel guilty! It’s just a monster dying. 

Just a monster pretending to be human dying.

In fact, I should be praised. I killed a vile monster that dared to imitate humans!

But then, doubt arises. Is that really the right thing to do? Is it really right to end it just like that?

The monster before me is calling out to the gods. It’s calling out, hoping for its suffering and fear to be freed, calling out to the gods.

It is hoping for salvation.

Even if its form is ugly, it still serves the gods.

It is hoping for salvation.

Then, suddenly…

“Miiiaahhh…”

Its cry reaches my ears. I look at it, and I can’t help but stare in astonishment at what unfolds before me.

What enters my vision is the way it behaves.

It twists its head in every direction. 

It turns one way, then the other, sometimes forward, sometimes backward. Its movement looks as if it’s searching for something it has lost.

A sound keeps repeating from its mouth.

“Miiiaahhh… Miiiaahhh…”

Its body curls up, its limbs move cautiously, and its head is bowed as if to hide its face. 

With a voice trembling in sorrow, it cries.

At that moment, my mind went blank. My dizzying thoughts cleared instantly. I couldn’t think. I didn’t want to think. I just stood there, staring blankly at it.

Just staring at its appearance.

And then…

“I see.”

I finally understood.

What’s before me is not a monster, but a fellow being.

Before being the same person, it is a fellow worshiper of the same god. 

Even though it no longer appears human, its devotion to the gods remains.

It wasn’t a monster. It was simply a follower of the gods, a believer of a goddess, still seeking salvation.

Once I accepted that, the fear that had been growing inside me began to diminish, and the heat in my head cooled down. 

With my cooled mind, I began to think about what I should do.

A fellow worshiper of the gods seeks salvation. 

It wants to be freed from its suffering.

I am a knight chosen by the goddess. 

I am one who carries out the will of the gods.

In this situation, what must I do?

There was no need for an answer. No, why am I even considering this?

Before me stands one calling out for the gods’ salvation.

And what I must do now is clear.

I slowly moved my aching body and stood up. I raised my holy sword.

It was still writhing in pain. But it didn’t approach us. Instead, it pushed itself back with its limbs, trying to escape from us.

Its limbs, planted on the ground, trembled violently. 

It struggled to hold its balance and fell several times from the pain. 

But soon, it cried out and lifted its body again, pushing itself back. 

Its head shook desperately, as if saying it didn’t want to.

“Shirrrr… Shirrrr Ahhhddeee…”

It was pulling away from us.

I watched it for a moment, then began walking toward it.

“Dane!”

Agnes’s panicked voice reached me, but I didn’t pay it any mind. I was focused only on what I had to do.

What I had to do was…

First, control your fear. What stands before me is not a monster. It is but a lost lamb.

I raised the holy sword and shouted.

“Lost lamb, I have come in response to your cries!”

I steadied the holy sword with both hands, pointing it at the creature.

“Do not mourn your appearance anymore! From now on, you will shed this dreadful form and become the purest, noblest, and most beautiful version of yourself!”

Second, act wisely. Make the best judgment and carry it out.

I poured divine power into the holy sword. The pure white sword began to glow.

“Do not fear death! Death is but a brief moment that leads to the divine, and the holy gods will guide you to heaven!”

The light from the holy sword began to push away the darkness.

“Lost lamb, no longer tremble in pain!”

The blade of the holy sword began to shine brightly. Once I saw the sword glowing in full, I slowly began to walk forward.

Third, enact justice. 

Punish the wicked, bless the good, and save those in need.

I shouted.

“My name is Dane Bryer!”

“I am a hero of the Divine Order, a knight who serves the goddess, and I am the lion who will lead you to the gods!

Do not fear me! I am but the lion who will guide you to the divine!”

Fourth, love one another. 

Act with love for each other, even if the one you aid does not appear human.

“Believe! Hope! Love! From now on, I will fulfill your hopes in the name of faith and love, and you shall receive blessings through sincere faith and love!”

Its cries had died down, and it simply looked at me silently.

Fifth, have courage. Do not hesitate in your actions. Do not think that you will fail.

I kept moving forward, and quickly closed the distance between us. I shouted again.

“I hereby declare, in this moment!

By the will of my god, I will lead you to the divine and purify you for the sake of the divine!”

Sixth, have faith. Be certain that what you do is right and that it cannot be wrong.

I raised the holy sword with both hands, straining with all my might. 

The sword was emanating an immense amount of divine power.

The hands gripping the holy sword were trembling. It was the same as before.

However, its reaction was clearly different this time. Unlike before, it did not resist. With its eyes closed, it simply remained still.

It felt as though it was waiting for me.

The final seventh.

Answer the wish.

At that moment, I heard a sound in my ears.

“Go-oh-ma-eu-oh…”

I gritted my teeth and struck the holy sword down with all my strength.

“The gods desire this!”

And then,

Light engulfed us.

The light that had filled my vision began to fade. 

The world, once entirely white, began to regain its colors.

After a few seconds, darkness settled once again in the area.

I let out a rough breath and looked at the spot where it had been. 

There was nothing left in that place, where the faint light still lingered. 

The enormous body that had filled my vision was gone.

Instead, there was white ash, reminiscent of white feathers, scattered where it had been. It was as though proving that it had once been there.

However, after a while, even that began to fade, and in the end, nothing remained in the spot except the white powder.

I released my grip on the holy sword at that moment. 

The sword fell to the ground with a noise, and my head dropped heavily.

Then, I began to gag.

My hand, which had been supporting my knee, was trembling. 

There was no smell in the air. 

It was as though I had been paralyzed by the surrounding stench.

My vision was blurry. The area around my eyes felt hot, and occasionally, it would feel cold.

The surroundings were quiet. The only sound I could hear was my own gagging.

My gagging continued for a long time. It wasn’t until I was choking, and my vision started to blur, that I was able to stop.

Finally, I managed to stop gagging and slowly lifted my head.

“Are you okay?”

Agnes’s voice, filled with concern, asked me. She was looking at me with a worried expression, standing beside me.

I weakly asked her,

“Did I do the right thing…?”

She nodded in response.

“Yes, he was certainly saved. Surely…”

As she answered, a smile formed on her lips. 

But despite the smile, her eyes looked as though she might burst into tears at any moment.

“Dein, let’s leave this place for now. Then we’ll think about what’s next.”

She picked up the holy sword that had fallen to the ground and handed it to me. 

I took the sword without a word, and sheathed it.

The holy sword was no longer glowing.

“We’ve finally made it out.”

After a long search, we found an exit and were able to leave the area. 

The exit connected to an alley on the outskirts.

The sun had set. 

As we emerged from the underground, the surroundings were dark. 

We began to quicken our steps. We didn’t speak.

Neither of us did.

As we were walking, Agnes suddenly spoke up.

“What was that woman, really?”

I immediately thought of the woman with brown hair.

Unfortunately, we were unable to find her again during the additional search. It was truly unfortunate.

I ground my teeth. Just thinking about her made my teeth clench.

“Was there anything about her that stood out?”

I pondered her appearance and then found something.

“Yellow rose…”

“Yellow rose?”

She had worn a strange robe that resembled the attire of the Order of the Holy Church.

“There was a yellow rose drawn near her shoulder.”

A yellow rose was drawn near her shoulder.

“Yellow rose…”

Agnes murmured quietly. It seemed she was also recalling the woman’s appearance.

“Dein.”

Then, suddenly, she called my name. I turned my gaze toward her.

She was looking ahead. Still, she spoke to me.

“Let’s not tell them about what happened today.”

Them… Does she mean the gods?

I thought for a moment. As I pondered, the events of today flashed before my eyes again.

After a brief moment of contemplation, I answered quietly.

“Yes, let’s do that.”

As I responded, I suddenly had the thought: “Would the gods really want this?”

I’m not sure. But one thing I’m certain of is,

I don’t want it.