Chapter 45: Stay away from Kailo – 5

Vivian looked down at the food set out on the table: warm bread, a variety of fruits, light soup, and tender meat that would be easy to digest.

Still feeling groggy from the early morning, she stopped in front of the meal without realizing anything was amiss until Asha pointed it out.

“…Um, Lady Vivian?”

“Oh. Go ahead, eat.”

Vivian gestured for the ladies to start eating.

Normally, Kailo would have been the first to grab a piece of bread and devour it, so out of habit, she had been waiting.

It felt strange that she noticed Kailo’s absence after only one day.

Come to think of it, they had been almost inseparable for the past year, especially at mealtimes.

No matter where they went on an expedition, they always ate together.

The time they shared seemed to have embedded itself into her life more deeply than she’d realized.

Spending lunch, dinner, and now breakfast with the ladies made her feel, however slightly, uncomfortable.

She wanted to go back to her usual routine and eat in peace.

What was Kailo doing?

She hadn’t seen a trace of him since yesterday.

She wondered if he was even alive.

How strange it was to be curious about his whereabouts after just one day.

Even if they were just meal companions, she questioned why she felt this way.

Vivian quickly concluded it was only because he was one of her few remaining resources, someone she could claim as hers.

She glanced at Asha and Lani, realizing that as long as they were here, she wouldn’t see Kailo.

Suddenly, their presence felt a bit bothersome.

Despite all these thoughts, Vivian continued her conversation with Asha.

“…I’m glad to hear you found the accommodations comfortable.”

“It was my first time staying in a castle, so I was quite thrilled. And waking up to the view outside the window was breathtaking…”

“And how is the food to your taste?”

“Yes. I wish I could thank the chef.”

“I’ll pass along your gratitude through a maid, Lady Asha.”

“That would be wonderful, thank you.”

Vivian turned to Lani, who looked unfocused today, unlike yesterday.

Her gaze was distant, and she chewed her bread mechanically, her movements sluggish.

“…Lani…!”

At Asha’s whisper and her watchful gaze, Lani snapped out of her reverie.

“Yes…?”

Vivian smiled again as she asked.

“Is the food to your liking?”

“Oh! Yes!”

“You look tired. Did you not sleep well?”

“Oh, well, it’s not that… actually, yes, I didn’t sleep well.”

Lani, who had initially started to deny it, quickly changed her answer.

“…I apologize. I was too excited to sleep.”

“Excited?”

“Oh…! Uh, the castle is just so beautiful.”

Vivian took this opportunity to gently suggest.

“If you’re too tired, it’s perfectly fine for you to start your journey home early.”

With an unexpectedly intense response, Lani, who had been somewhat dazed, answered first.

“No! I want to stay here as long as I can!”

“…Then I’m glad.”

At Vivian’s permission, Lani visibly relaxed, letting out a long sigh.

“Ha…”

Seeing this, Asha only looked to Vivian, watching her reactions.

Vivian offered Asha a reassuring smile, but she couldn’t quite understand Lani’s behavior today.

“While I attend my lessons, feel free to rest or ask the maids for a tour of the castle if you wish.”

Vivian informed the ladies of the Dubois family before her lesson with Madame Linne.

Normally, on a day when guests arrived, she would not have attended her lessons.

However, she was feeling a bit weary from spending the whole day with the Dubois ladies, and she figured they might feel the same.

Taking the lesson would provide a break for everyone.

Asha nodded in response.

“We’ll do that. Thank you for your consideration.”

Lani still seemed unfocused.

Vivian simply smiled before entering her room.

Thud.

Inside, Madame Linne was already waiting for her.

Vivian looked at her and sighed deeply.

Madame Linne gave her a knowing yet understanding expression.

“It’s difficult, isn’t it?”

Vivian nodded slightly.

Pretending to befriend someone while wearing a mask was not as easy as it sounded.

Madame Linne encouraged her to take a moment to rest, and in the quiet room, Vivian gradually regained her composure.

The lesson then resumed as usual.

Madame Linne began.

“Today, we will continue studying male sexuality.”

Vivian nodded.

She had been learning about sexuality for some time now.

As her body matured, she had gradually been receiving such lessons.

She had learned a great deal about men in particular.

Besides planning to find a powerful husband as she reached adulthood, understanding men was a necessity for Vivian, the lord of Loctana.

As a woman, comprehending male psychology, especially that of adult men, was challenging.

According to Madame Linne, without understanding male desire, it would be difficult to lead them.

Seeing Vivian’s expression, Madame Linne spoke gently,

“You mustn’t dislike it so much. Understanding men is essential.”

“I know.”

With a forced answer, Madame Linne started the lesson.

The knowledge she imparted was scandalous, leaving Vivian’s face red.

Her breathing quickened, and her head swam as the explicit material overwhelmed her.

The words that Madame Linne spoke so calmly felt as foreign and unpleasant as the lurid tales themselves.

“…and so, it is much like a torch soaked in oil; even a single spark can ignite it, making them lose control over their desire—”

“W-wait a moment.”

Unable to bear it any longer, Vivian raised her hand to stop Madame Linne.

She couldn’t hold back the question that had been brewing.

“Teacher, I still don’t understand this… desire thing. Isn’t that… the same hole you pee out of? Why would anyone… if they’re not planning to have children…”

When it came to lessons on sexuality, Madame Linne was patient with Vivian, even looking at her with a certain fondness for her naivete.

Without reprimanding her, she gently guided Vivian.

“Lady Vivian, have you ever wanted to embrace someone you love?”

Vivian thought of her parents and replied.

“…Yes.”

“Think of it as a natural response like that. The love between a man and woman is even more intense and impulsive than familial love. Few people can restrain themselves in the face of that kind of attraction. Proper desire isn’t dirty.”

“…But it still feels a bit grotesque. Why can’t you just like each other and be done with it, without… physical contact?”

“Even if you say that, if a loved one were to look at you with eyes full of desire, you might feel proud. As a woman.”

“T-that couldn’t possibly…”

“You think that now because you haven’t experienced love yet, Lady Vivian. If there were time, you would have discovered these things on your own without my teaching… but learning it all before experiencing it is what makes it feel so confusing.”