Gentleness (1)

An unwanted silence fell.

The dark clouds that blackened the sky screamed and spewed fluids. Flower petals and vines crumbled, and the colorless ground groaned at the oncoming waves.

Cough, with one cough as if vomiting my insides, a large amount of blood came out.

A hollow laugh escaped.

My body felt off since the morning, is it starting again?

I couldn’t shake off the anxiety from the blood in my mouth.

When did it start?

Maybe a week ago, no, two weeks ago, months ago.

That is, when I met Erica, and started going out smiling.

When I decided to break out of my self-imposed lifestyle and go out every day.

Around that time when I started talking, showing emotions, and walking.

The problem was probably that I felt I was getting a little better, and was happy about becoming more human-like.

“Haa… Hic!”

Let’s think positively.

I endured for longer than expected.

I could get through each night with the blood I had stored.

I could go out. I could have a daily life. I could look at someone’s face and have a conversation.

Laugh, talk, eat, drink.

[ Aureli. ]

“I have… a favor.”

I thought it was about time.

My eyes hurt, my heart hurts.

“The subspace…”

At my words, as I watched Bloody tear space, I took out the glass bottle I had put in my pocket.

And I pushed it in there, as if grasping it together with her.

[ …Aure! ]

Now I’m alone.

It’s not bad.

Dawn was always like this.

You’ve worked hard until now. Really.

I keep telling myself that.

I push away my hair stuck to the waves and look at the field filled with hazy steam.

This was the place I wanted.

Here, now, this ground, this place.

So I have no regrets about delaying my decision.

Anyway, it’s a body that can’t die.

Not until I kill someone, not until I suck blood.

There is no best choice. I just choose the less smelly option.

So I fought. It wasn’t with ambitions like shouting for justice and saving the world like a good person.

That doesn’t suit me.

It’s contradictory to shout like that from the bottom of a wretched life. I always knew that my twisted self couldn’t protect anything.

It’s just a selfish choice.

With someone.

Because I liked walking together, because drinking coffee together was addictive, because the time and space together, and the breathing sounds.

Because the eyes, lips, ambitions, justice were so brilliant.

I just didn’t want to lose it.

Like a streetlight on a dark night road, like a rope lowered when fallen into a well.

Just.

That’s all I wanted.

───Click.

“You’re surrounded.”

Perhaps, even that.

To me who is no longer human, to me who is a monster and trash.

It might have been something not allowed.

Urk.

More, violently, red waves spurted from my mouth.

The striking metallic sounds and red lights hitting all over my body.

It must be punishment for me who wanted that.

My brain rings, my heart bursts, my arm is cut off.

Only after the blood in my mouth stimulates my panting tongue.

Do I crave the sweet coffee I drank with her.

Clear water flows from my eyes, and as my hair is pulled countless times.

I wish for her hand stroking me.

Her kind gaze, not sharp eyes.

Her cozy embrace, not cold guns.

The conversations we shared smiling, and the paths we walked together.

The daily life, time, days we spent.

At last.

I come to want it.

My vision turns white. Hot streams flow down my cheeks.

Ah.

I see.

So this is love.

I forcibly open my mouth that feels like it’s going to tear, and smile.

I raised my knife. Blood gushed from my cut abdomen.

The world turned red.

With the last knight cut down, the debris crumbled like scattering dust.

Erica exhaled.

And quickly scanned her surroundings.

It was desolate. It seems the entire section she was in charge of has been cleared.

It was partly because it was a manageable level for her skills, but also because the number of knights had rapidly decreased from a certain point.

What did Aureli do?

Erica wiped her forehead and stepped onto the road out of the field. On one side of the road was the vehicle she had parked.

Aureli was meaningful this time too. From conversation to action. Not only did she tell her about the spirit realm, but she even helped clear this unprecedented invasion.

If she asked, it was obvious she would say nonsense like Erica was pretty or cool.

Getting into the vehicle while letting out an empty laugh, Erica herself must have started to have special feelings for such an Aureli. It didn’t take long for interest beyond familiarity to arise.

When she came to her senses, Aureli was beside her, and as she urgently talked about something, she found herself being teased by her.

It’s been a long time since she became part of her daily life, sharing time.

When she saw her sly smile, she would get annoyed, but when she clung to her again with coquetry, she had no choice but to hug her slightly as if she couldn’t help it.

When Aureli somehow knew she was tired and took her to cafes and walks together, or brought her things like medicinal herbs saying they were good for her body, she felt a fluffy emotion inside.

“I don’t like her.”

Erica muttered softly and nodded her head hurriedly.

While driving the vehicle and feeling the wind coming through the window, she received a contact through the communication equipment.

It was the director.

[ There’s somewhere you need to go urgently. ]

“Did something happen?”

[ You’ll know when you get there. ]

The triangular mark on the map of the device she was holding was not far away.

The invasion should be over by now, is there something that needs her?

Erica conveyed her understanding and twisted the steering wheel.

It didn’t take long before noise stimulated her ears.

Erica frowned at the different air currents. She thought it was a kind she had felt before, perhaps one she had dealt with countless times.

She stopped the vehicle and hurriedly walked while adjusting her uniform. As the magical power touching her skin intensified and the noise grew rougher, reaching extremes.

Erica faced it.

It was a huge red flower.

It was quiet yet noisy. Brilliant yet dark.

Amidst the intertwined commotion and metallic sounds, Erica tried to grasp the situation she encountered.

Hunters in uniforms she seemed to have seen before were coughing up blood and screaming short screams while holding weapons. Some seemed unable to breathe, collapsed, and the hunters who could still feel life were staggering with knives stuck all over their bodies, trying not to lose their posture.

“Argh!”

After one more scream rang out and the blood-colored smoke filling the space settled, Erica could only open her eyes wide.

What her gaze reached was their center. It was a girl she knew too well. But that appearance looked different at a glance.

“…Hello.”

Ah.

Again.

That face again.

Her face was smiling but her eyes looked like they would cry at any moment. Her hands were holding a blood-red knife but were shaking severely.

It was the appearance she had seen in past encounters. Unlike her usual relaxed atmosphere, it was the image of a girl who seemed like she would collapse at the slightest touch.

Aureli didn’t say anything. Neither did Erica. They created a moment of silence between them.

Watching the blood-red marks tangled on the black dress and pure white face, Erica let out a short breath.

She felt her mind moving slowly.

What should I do? Should I say I’ll be the hostage, so please spare these people? Should I surrender even now… But more importantly.

More importantly.

What is that?

Is it these people lying on the ground spewing blood, or is it that girl staggering with her arm cut off and abdomen ruptured?

Aureli is a villain. That’s what she had thought. And she had acted accordingly.

But now it’s different.

Because she realized at some point. That she was somehow different. That she was of a different grain from those villains she normally defined.

Something twisted, like she was hiding things that couldn’t be understood.

That kind of girl.

She had seen her weak side before. And for some reason, it hurt her heart.

Is it because of her unnecessary sympathy? Or is it because of her own feeble heart that had started to become interested in her?

She couldn’t know. Just like that, for her who had been living a life that only turned like a hamster wheel, it was an enormous something hard to accept.

What a villain is, what a good person is, what we who live in a collapsed world are.

For her who had been living aimlessly, all of this was too confusing.

“You’re hurt somewhere.”

Seeing Aureli who had somehow approached her, Erica felt her mind go blank.

Aureli lightly stroked Erica’s abdomen where a small scar was engraved, and smiled weakly.

That smile was so seductive and painful that she couldn’t control her trembling hands.

“You should have been more careful.”

No.

That’s not it.

You’re the one who’s hurting more.

You look like you’re about to cry.

But why.

Why are you worrying about me first?

Her colorless dark blue eyes wavered. Her delicate skin was dirtied with blood stains.

Erica wanted to hug her right away. But she couldn’t. Because her hands were shaking severely. Because her heart was too heavy to breathe.

The sensation on her abdomen disappeared. The wind blew and the faint air currents settled.

Aureli passed by her without saying anything.

Erica urgently followed her with her gaze. A magic circle spread and a huge blood-colored ring encompassed electricity.

In an instant, she disappeared.

Erica sat down on the ground.

Should she let her go like this? Is this all she can do? If she loses her, if she loses that girl here.

Erica bit her lip and raised her head again. Blood-colored air currents were trailing along the alley.

She made up her mind.

She stood up.

She took a step.