Chapter 45: Aftermath – exposed watching explicit content

Bell Gallery

ᄋᄋ(112.224): “Streamer caught watching explicit(por*n) content LOL.”
Views: 44,502. Comments: 1,452.

File Titles:

• “A Passionate Kiss Between Two Female College Students.mp4”
• “A little girl being forcibly rape*d by a tentacle, no matter how much she resists, she won’t let go. Infinite climax hell.mp4”

“Such refined taste, LOL.”
Votes: 1,204. Downvotes: 152.

ᄂᄋᄋ(117.333): “Who is that? You disgusting otaku b*stards.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(111.117): “How can you not know the unemployed, high school dropout otaku (fake) but actual cute girl who represents our pride? Stop using DC.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(113.222): “This explicit lineup is legendary LOL.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(133.190): “Wait, that tentacle stuff is super hardcore. A girl watching this? LOL.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(114.114): “That one ties the girl up with tentacles and keeps her in endless cl*max for five hours. LOL. It’s a masterpiece.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(221.233): “So girls watch stuff like this too? Kind of… exciting.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(1.0): “Aren’t girls people too?”

ᄂᄋᄋ(12.10): “Link, please.”

ᄋᄋ(103.122): “But isn’t she a les*ian? Why would a girl watch videos of other girls?”

ᄂᄋᄋ(118.322): “More women watch les*ian content than you think.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(112.111): “It’s different, but a lot of girls watch this kind of stuff.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(113.244): “But it’s a bit suspicious. She streams every day and never mentions men—only talks about women.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(181.177): “So is she really a les*ian?”

ᄂᄋᄋ(133.301): “Who cares? It’s way better than her sleeping with random guys she doesn’t know.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(118.199): “Honestly, I’d prefer if she’s a les*ian. Thinking about some guy taking advantage of her pisses me off. With girls, it’s fine.”

ᄋᄋ(103.113): “Wait, she looks so tiny. Is she really watching stuff like this? She looks underage.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(187.112): “She’s a known mental wreck. People like that often indulge in solo activities.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(184.155): “The more unstable someone is, the higher their drive tends to be.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(233.220): “This is seriously hot, damn.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(110.212): “But she’s seriously so pretty.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(123.23): ” I usually hate streamers, but she’s insanely pretty.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(122.111): “She wears a mask, though. How do you even know?”

ᄂᄋᄋ(110.233): “There are photos of her without the mask. Check them out. She really is gorgeous.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(119.113): “Is that her real hair? Her eyes look gray too.”

ᄂᄋᄋ(113.143): “Nobody knows. She avoids mentioning anything about herself.”

“F*cking jerks… damn it.”

Her face grew incredibly hot, an unusual reaction.

Tears welled up slightly in her eyes.

…

Thankfully, she had been streaming with a mask on.

The thought of her unmasked face being captured, shared, and viewed by tens of thousands made her feel like she could die from the shame.

…

She decided she wouldn’t take off the mask for a while.

There was no way they would have listened to her anyway. She hadn’t expected them to in the first place.

“These are kids who don’t even listen to their own mothers… why would they listen to me?”

The comments weren’t focused on attacking her as a streamer but more on being shocked by her tastes.

It seemed like many people knew exactly what those videos were.

Les*ian content was just an ordinary video, but tentacle content was admittedly a bit hardcore.

As for why she watched tentacle content…

…

Honestly, just thinking about it is embarrassing… but now, I empathize with women more. I like seeing women fully immersed in pleasure.

However, women being dominated by men now gives me a bit of discomfort, likely because I empathize with the woman’s perspective. That naturally led me to prefer tentacle content.

I can no longer relate to being in the dominant position.

The idea of “endless climax hell,” being restrained to the point of immobility, feeling pleasure so intense it turns your tongue and eyes upward—it’s unimaginable from the receiving perspective, but as a viewer, it’s absolutely thrilling.

As for watching lesbian kissing… hmm…

It’s an emotion I really shouldn’t feel, but… when Song Chae-hyun and Yoo Ji-eun kissed me on the cheek, it made me feel unreasonably good.

It was the first time I’d ever felt that way, so I ended up looking for similar things when searching for videos.

I didn’t originally like women being with women, but…

…

But what does a real kiss feel like?

Honestly, it felt like fireworks exploding somewhere in my mind. It was that good.

Thinking about it, of course, the people in my mind were Yoo Ji-eun and Song Chae-hyun. That realization brought a pang of guilt, and I shook my head to rid myself of those desires.

Sitting idly in my chair, I eventually flung myself onto the bed.

“Phew…”

My phone lay beside me, but I was too scared to pick it up. Song Chae-hyun and Yoo Ji-eun might have seen it by now. My Tgether(a community forum) page was already flooded with teasing comments… I needed to sort it out.

The time for my regular stream was drawing near.

It wasn’t officially set, but it had become a time when I usually started streaming.

Should I take a break?

Honestly, no one would blame me if I skipped today, right?

But then again, one glance at my bank balance wiped those thoughts away.

There was the slightly extravagant purchase of those white sneakers. I needed to patch that hole in my budget.

Yeah. The damage is done anyway. Might as well tackle it head-on.

“Hello, everyone.”

• “Haha.”

The viewers couldn’t stop laughing.

“P-Please stop laughing.”

I adjusted my mask nervously, pulling it wider to cover more of my face.

• “How can anyone hold back their laughter?”
• “This is legendary, Miss Cutie…”
• “Welcome, newbie from the Bell Gallery.”
• panboy^ donated 1,000 won.
• “Hello, I came from the Bell Gallery. Is this the stream of the high-school dropout, jobless, never-dated loser (fake), and cute girl (real)?”

“No… It’s not real!”

I quickly denied the claim.

“Ugh…”

As I watched the chat continue to spiral into chaos, a tiny bit of regret bubbled up inside me. Maybe I shouldn’t have started the stream after all.

“Fine. It doesn’t matter. I’ll just do my thing and ignore all of you.”

Ignoring them was the only way to handle this.

Surely they wouldn’t keep teasing me forever.

• “Defeated by the enemy.”
• “H-Hey, no, you need to squeeze! You can’t just let it escape like that!”
• “Even those tentacles tightened up around the girl, haha.”
• “Haha!”

“I… I’ll just go wash my face for a bit.”

• “Are you going to watch por*n?”
• “Or maybe you’re restocking tissues? Haha.”

“I’m just… hot…”

• “Hot from the video? Haha.”

“Stop teasing me already…”

• “No, I don’t want to, haha.”
• “Is it teasing if we’re just stating facts? (Seriously, I don’t know.)”

“I said, stop teasing me…”

• “Haha.”
• “Nope, this is too fun, haha!”

“Stop… sob… stop teasing me…”

• “Uh oh.”
• “She’s crying.”
• “Why’s she crying all of a sudden?”
• “Uh oh. We messed up.”

“Seriously, you losers, I told you to cut it out.”

• “Sorry.”

“I’m a girl… Be a little considerate, please…”

Only after I started crying did the viewers finally back off.

But the flood of apologies and compliments calling me pretty and cute immediately followed.

“I’ll forgive you just this once…”

I let it slide. Just this one time.

…

“H-Hello?”

I had been lying on my bed for a while when the sound of a voice chat notification snapped me out of my thoughts.

It was a group call from either Yoo Ji-eun or Song Chae-hyun—or both.

When I picked it up, both of them were already there.

“Are you okay?” I-hyun”

“I-hyun, are you okay?”

As soon as I answered, the voices came in at the same time.

“I’m fine… but I’m a little busy…”

The concern was fine, but honestly, I wanted to get away quickly.

It wasn’t just about being caught watching adu*t videos… I wondered if they knew the reason I was looking for videos of kissing between women.

“How can you be okay? I saw you crying…”

“I’m really fine.”

“I’ll find and ban anyone crossing the line with your personal life.”

As Song Chae-hyun spoke in an angry voice,

“I’m really fine… don’t do that. I’ve already apologized…”

If someone got banned, I thought it might hurt their feelings, so I spoke up.

The thought of someone being upset alone if they got banned made me feel bad.

“… I-hyun, you’re too kind, that’s the problem.”

“I’m really fine, haha… I’m okay. I was just teased too much, so I cried…”

“I’m glad if you’re feeling better…”

For a few minutes, I listened to Song Chae-hyun and Yu Ji-eun alternately scolding me about respecting privacy and how viewers really lack awareness.

Then, suddenly, Song Chae-yeon spoke with a different tone.

“But I-hyun…”

“Yes?”

“Do you… like women?”

At that, Yu Ji-eun’s words stopped abruptly. I flinched a little.

“Why? Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no. If it’s uncomfortable, sorry… I was just curious. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

I paused for a moment.

I had never said I liked men, so maybe that’s why. There were no videos like that in the ones I watched either.

I thought for a second.

Do I like women?.. I’m not sure.

Although not as much as before, I still find the female body attractive.

So, do I like men?

Honestly, I’m not sure about that either.

Although I hate admitting it, since becoming a woman, I’ve found myself noticing men’s firm muscles more than I used to. It’s definitely more now.

But I feel conflicted because, when I was a man, I never found that attractive.

Looking at it like this, I think it’s about half and half. Maybe women still have the upper hand?

…

Should I say this?

Yeah, I’ll say it. It’s embarrassing, but these are people I really trust.

They might even be able to help with these concerns.

I opened my mouth slowly.

“I… I don’t know…”

“What do you mean, ‘don’t know’?”

Song Chae-hyun asked in a somewhat trembling voice.

“I don’t know if I like women or men…”

I continued,

“I think I feel attracted to both… but… I don’t think I’m bisexual… I really don’t know… maybe it’s because I’ve never been with a man…”

I said everything honestly, feeling a little embarrassed.

There was a moment of silence between Song Chae-hyun and Yu Ji-eun…..Then,

“I see.”

“I understand.”

They both said, sounding unexpectedly resolute.