Chapter 44: Can You Touch Me?

“Good afternoon, good evening, and good night, Miss Sanguine Obsidia. Though it is afternoon in Korean Standard Time.”

The giant, wearing a large silk hat and a thick coat, greeted me with a gentlemanly voice, tipping his hat and bowing slightly.

“My name is James. You may call me James Buchanan, Cook, Cameron, Earl Carter, Clerk Maxwell, Madison, or any other name you wish.”

His face was hidden by the wide hat, but his voice sounded like he was definitely sneering.

A sense of déjà vu washed over me from this man who had appeared so suddenly and was spouting nonsense.

“I would prefer it if you called me by the nickname Jimmy, or the moniker Saint Jimmy.”

“Who… who the hell are you…?”

I couldn’t imagine that a person who appeared before me so suddenly without any warning, exuding a powerful magical aura and speaking so casually to Sanguine Obsidia, was a normal human being.

A particularly strong demon individual.

Or, a member of that suspicious organization called the Apostles’ Association or something that I had fought before.

If he was one of those who wielded magic in an unknown way, it would make sense for him to have the form of a large man and possess such power.

‘Should I just attack, slash his skin, and stab my sword into his heart to kill him?’

‘If he’s human, it would feel terribly good to kill him.’

The impulse beckoned, pointing to where the man’s heart should be.

I materialized a black rapier in my hand.

‘I have to endure. For now.’

The magic I felt from him was immense.

‘I’ve learned that acting rashly could put me in danger.’

My mind, after being tormented by impulse, pain, and guilt, and now facing an enemy, had become surprisingly calm.

“First of all, I would like to apologize for the rudeness of my colleagues last time.”

As he said that, he held out a pack of cigarettes. Judging by the unfamiliar design, they seemed to be foreign.

There were probably only a few types distributed domestically.

‘Cigarettes, cigarettes.’
I don’t smoke much these days.

‘The theatrical atmosphere imbued in his polite tone, the nature of contempt and ridicule seeping through that atmosphere that even the atmosphere couldn’t hide.’

‘And the bizarre magic I felt.’

‘A sense of déjà vu.’

‘It was definitely a similar atmosphere to the slightly crazy duo I had encountered at the logistics center that day.’

‘He might be their colleague, their superior, or maybe even their leader.’

“Oh dear, I heard that you were unable to get the cigarettes you wanted because Miss Soda Pop Ritalin and Miss Mary Jane destroyed the logistics warehouse. Are you not to your liking?”

Ta-da!

The gentleman pulled several packs of cigarettes from his sleeve and began to juggle them like a cheap clown.

The sight was so absurd that even the urge to kill subsided for a moment.

‘The crazy duo has become a trio. Thankfully, the two warehouse bombers weren’t here.’

“Well, what can you do! But to greet a distinguished person without a decent gift is a gentleman’s shame, so I have prepared a replacement. Here!”

Jimmy, who shouted with an exaggerated gesture, pulled out a thick black cloth from somewhere, and then, with a flick, rolled it up.

Just like old-time magicians doing sleight of hand.

And what appeared from under the cloth was,

A woman with long brown hair, slightly shorter than average.

Her head was covered with something like a gunny sack, and her hands and feet were tied, but,

‘A familiar build, a familiar hair color, and length.’

“Aaaaaaaaaah…!”

My feet moved faster than my recognition.

‘How dare you, how dare you, to whom,’

‘How dare you, how dare you…!’

“How dare you, lay a hand on her?”

Stab.

The familiar sensation of a thin blade piercing flesh.

The man held out his right palm and blocked the sword strike.

“Oh, this is quite impressive…”

Looking at the rapier that had pierced his right hand and was dripping blood, he spouted more nonsense.

“May I touch the blade? It’s a little different from what I thought, but I quite like it.”

‘What nonsense is he talking about? I’m going to kill you.’

‘Is he crazy?’

‘No, it would be better to say it like this.’

“I’ll let you touch it as much as you want after you’re dead.”

I swung my wrist. The blade cut through his hand and glove, and dark red blood splattered.

I condensed the blood he shed into small blades and sent them flying, cutting and slashing his coat, wrapping a chain of magic around his shoes to bind his feet,

and then I lunged into his embrace with my sword.

I stabbed the blade straight into his heart.

Without resistance, I felt a thrill as the blade pierced his thick pectoral muscles, pried open the space between his ribs, and slid in.

And the tip of the blade reached his heart, and the thrilling heartbeat transmitted through the blade, the pounding pleasure…

“…Huh?”

‘There’s no heart. I can’t feel it.’

The blade went straight through his back, and this time, not a single drop of blood came out.

“Oh. Do you see? Hahaha!”

I looked up without thinking.

‘Aah…’

‘His face wasn’t hidden by the hat.’

‘I can hear laughter.’

‘I can feel his gaze.’

‘Therefore, in front of my eyes,’

‘There should have been his mouth, his eyes, and his face.’

‘There is no face.’

‘Under the silk hat, a pitch-black hole of unknown depth was looking down at me.’

***

Good.

Perfect.

My wrists and ankles are all fine.

They’ve regenerated cleanly without a single scar.

Although the joints are still a little wobbly.

I almost gouged out my own eyes several times trying to endure the impulse all night, but I succeeded in holding back.

“Did you sleep well?”

My voice is calm.

I can’t tell if my own voice is trembling, excited, or sounds sane, but I decided to think so.

Waking up and being hugged by her, the scent of her seemed to reward all the pain of the dawn.

“I thought we’d go somewhere we haven’t been today. A place with nice scenery that people don’t frequent.”

After a simple meal, I listened to her talk while munching on the nut cookies we had packed from the cafe yesterday.

It’s delicious.

Sweet.

Not as good as the ones she made, but.

If I ask her to make them again next time, will she?

Or maybe it would be nice to suggest we make them together.

And when I took a sip of the tea Yujin brewed, the gentle aroma of light green tea spread, and the impulse that was tearing at my chest calmed down.

“…I’m fine with anywhere. As long as it’s just the two of us.”

‘Because if there’s anyone else, I don’t think I’ll be able to hold back.’

“You’re so cute, really.”

My body froze at the finger that poked my cheek with a grin.

I turned my head away, not wanting to show her my trembling lips, my bloodshot eyes, or my face, drenched in fatigue.

She seems to think I’m just being shy.

‘I have to go somewhere with no people.’

‘And then I can disappear for a moment, move far away, and relieve this desire.’

‘I can’t defile our precious date time, so I might as well go far away, open the void passage to its maximum, kill a few people somewhere far away, and come back.’

‘She’ll understand the time I spend reveling in ecstasy. I can just say I killed some monsters, probably.’

Vines and leaves that had pushed through the cracks covered the abandoned, cracked train station platform in a green light.

I walked on the abandoned railway tracks, where sleepers were missing here and there and warped, leaving puddles of water, and balanced myself with my arms spread wide.

On the open land, there were only a few bent signs and withered trees standing here and there.

On the ground, in front of my eyes, I could only see Ahn Yujin.

‘Beautiful.’

‘Both the railway tracks basking in the afternoon sun and her, standing below them, smiling.’

‘If I strangle that neck,’

‘stab a blade into that heart,’

‘and make awls out of the scattered blood to mutilate her flesh… how, how…’

“Yujin.”

“Hmm?”

I met her brown eyes as she turned around.

As I stood there, unable to say anything, her eyes came closer, close enough for her breath to touch me, and she looked up at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“For a moment…”

“Are you okay? You haven’t looked well since a while ago. Are you not feeling well or…”

‘That’s not it.’

“We’ve been walking around for hours… I’m sorry, I got carried away. Should we take a break for a bit?”

“That’s not it!”

‘Ah.’

‘I want to gouge out the eyeballs that captured the sight of her, hiccuping in surprise, and burn them.’

‘I didn’t mean to get angry at you.’

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Just a moment, just a moment, it’ll only take a moment…”

I ran.

I ran away from her.

When I came to my senses, the railway tracks were already out of sight.

I collapsed.

“This, because of this!”

I tore off my top as if ripping it, summoned my rapier, and brought the blade to my chest.

The lump that was pulsating madly, the disgusting spiderweb-like blood vessels on my chest that contracted and expanded in time with the pulsation.

When I cut the lump with the sword, the lump oxidized into magic and disappeared, and the wound that had been spitting blood for a moment healed immediately, and a new lump grew.

And the impulse remains, growing stronger with each moment.

[Leave.]

‘Don’t talk nonsense.’

[The only way you can not hurt Ahn Yujin, not kill her, from now on is to leave.]

‘I know. I know.’

‘If I kill one person every day, I can spend one more day with her?’

‘Nonsense.’

‘Because Ahn Yujin is trying to become that one person.’

‘But I have no choice but to cling to nonsense.’

‘If I stray even a little from her warmth, I’ll freeze to death.’

[Stop and become a normal magical girl. Don’t kill people.]

‘If I could have done that, I would have stopped a long time ago.’

‘How can I quit such a fun hobby?’

‘I ended up like this because I couldn’t control the impulse.’

‘So, you useless ghost, just get lost now. I’m sick of your nonsense too.’

[Obsidia…!]

The ghost groaned as it dodged the wildly swinging blade, chains, and magic,
shook its head, and disappeared.

‘Good. Anyway, for a while, at least for today, it will be quiet.’

‘…There’s no time.’

‘She’ll think it’s strange. I have to calm down, kill someone, and relieve the impulse quickly.’

‘Because I’ve already wasted several minutes foolishly.’

I returned to being Sanguine Obsidia in two days.

Black suit, white hair, bright red eyes.

‘Because if I kill people with black hair and black eyes, I feel like I can never go back to her side.’

“Well, well, who do we have here?”

And, ignoring the death throes of resentment and hatred that filled the passage, I moved far, far away, to some clearing dozens of kilometers away, and faced him.

The pitch-black hole in the silk hat and coat, the monster hiding a void of nothingness.

He was definitely waiting for me there.

“Good afternoon, good evening, and good night, Miss Sanguine Obsidia.

Though it is afternoon in Korean Standard Time.”