Chapter 43: School Trip (6)

“…For saying you’d help however you could if I couldn’t hold on.”

So-yul whispered in an infinitely gentle voice.

Her tone was soft, as if revealing a precious treasure from deep within her heart.

Though I hadn’t actually helped yet, just made a vague promise to help someday. But that one statement seemed to have made So-yul incredibly happy.

Well, who else would dare offer to help So-yul?

She became a model student in front of friends. Transformed into a genius pianist before audiences. Tried to be an obedient daughter before her parents.

No one else had likely offered help, and she probably couldn’t ask anyone either.

But I at least had the right to reach out to So-yul.

Though I wasn’t a model student like her. Though I didn’t have abilities comparable to hers. Though I was a loner who’d lost connection with my parents early on. I had that right.

Of course I did.

As I’d repeated whenever the chance came…

“Even if it’s fake, I’m your boyfriend.”

When I said this with a light smile, So-yul smirked as if she’d expected it.

In reality, it was close to an excuse.

Because I liked So-yul. Because I loved everything about her – her playful personality, her strong will, her delicate heart. Because I couldn’t stand seeing her struggling.

It was nothing more than an excuse to hide these true feelings.

“…Liar.”

As if seeing through it all, So-yul pointed at me with her index finger.

Could she have noticed everything?

That I was hiding and deceiving about my feelings. That I’d struggled to calm my racing heart the whole time we were pressed together and hugging. Had she finally realized?

As my heart started pounding with these worries.

So-yul looked straight at me and gave a fragile smile.

“You’d help anyone, not just me.”

Her words went in the completely opposite direction from my feelings.

“…Me?”

“Yeah.”

So-yul nodded broadly.

“Despite appearances, you’re much kinder than you look.”

“How do I look then?”

“Let’s see? You’re tall. Your eyes look fierce. And you seem like you’d get annoyed if someone tried to joke around.”

“You’ve got me figured out.”

“But.”

So-yul lowered her gaze and:

“Actually you’re really considerate. You smile and play along even when I keep teasing you. …And when someone nearby is struggling, you want to help them as much as you can.”

When she said that last part, was she thinking of the arts festival? Her cheeks relaxed and a pretty pink color spread across them.

Then So-yul’s pink-tinged lips twitched and:

“So you’d probably do the same for anyone, not just me.”

She added this as if jealous of some imaginary person.

It was strange in a way.

I couldn’t remember being kind to any other girl, or person really, in front of So-yul. Yet somehow she’d developed this huge misconception about me.

Come to think of it, when talking with Juho too, So-yul had said something similar.

‘He’s kind to everyone.’

I was kind to everyone. If someone nearby was struggling, I would help them. It would be the same whether it was So-yul or not. I wasn’t giving So-yul special treatment.

That’s probably what So-yul believed.

It might be true. It’s natural to want to help when someone’s struggling. Even rolling up my sleeves to help Juho when they needed club members might have been my innate kindness showing.

But one thing was certain – it was completely different from my feelings for So-yul.

Maybe So-yul was working from a wrong premise.

I’d suddenly appeared to help while she was secretly struggling.

I’d declared I’d definitely help whenever it got too hard to endure.

But since there was no way I could like her… she must have concluded I was just helping because of my kind nature.

If so, I wanted to correct that misunderstanding.

So-yul didn’t like me. There was no possibility of this relationship evolving. Moreover, it shouldn’t evolve. Confessing my feelings to So-yul would only create pain.

Still, I wanted her to know at least this much.

So, putting strength in my throat:

“I want to help because it’s you.”

So-yul’s shoulders trembled.

The words conveyed affection almost too directly. I understood why So-yul was startled for a moment. And that was exactly what I’d wanted.

Then So-yul placed both hands over her chest and asked:

“…Because it’s me?”

“Yeah.”

Ridiculously, I didn’t have the courage to meet her eyes.

Throwing my gaze to a distant corner, I continued:

“Not someone else, but you.”

I heard So-yul hold her breath.

But that was all. Even after waiting a long time, no answer came.

If I could just shift my gaze, I’d know what feelings So-yul was standing there with. I could only regret not having that courage.

After a moment, I caught So-yul turning around from the corner of my eye.

When I finally looked, she was facing toward the dorm emergency exit.

Then from the turned-around So-yul came a thin whisper:

“Hmm, I see…”

Her tone suggested realizing something. Her voice trembled as if surprised by some unexpected truth.

Then So-yul finally took a step toward the dorm interior. She didn’t forget to leave a final “Thanks. Sleep well.”

I don’t know what she understood through what. I couldn’t see her face since she was turned away. I had no way to know what expression she wore while saying goodbye.

But vaguely.

It felt like something unseen had connected.

◎

When I returned to the dorm, everyone was already passed out.

Playing cards scattered on the floor, snacks smuggled in from somewhere. Though the place was a complete mess, everyone was sleeping soundly, even snoring.

Though they wanted to enjoy their rare freedom, lack of regular sleep made drowsiness take over. What a sad bunch.

Of course, I was one of them.

I couldn’t shake off the rapidly approaching sleepiness. Even if I could, I’d just end up alone playing with my phone, so I decided to try sleeping.

After quickly washing up in the shower room, I lay down on the bedding I’d set up earlier. The bedding was quite cozy, making sleepiness wash over me as soon as I lay down.

Just as I closed my eyes and was about to fall asleep…

Suddenly, I remembered I hadn’t participated in the vote yet.

I’d been debating whether to press the vote button when So-yul contacted me. I’d postponed it planning to vote after returning, but time had gotten quite late.

They’d said until 2 AM. When I took out my phone, the digits showed 1:58 AM. Two minutes until deadline. I’d almost been too late.

I entered the voting group chat and checked the candidate list. Scrolling through, I stopped my finger when I found “Han So-yul.”

This time I didn’t hesitate. I immediately touched the “Vote” button beside it.

The vote results tally window appeared next.

Out of 59 total votes, at the very top excluding “None” was… exactly as expected, So-yul.

[Han So-yul: 8/59]

“Wow…”

What escaped my lips was honest amazement.

Though they’d asked to pick someone you liked, wasn’t this a school that strictly banned dating? They even restricted normal interactions between boys and girls.

To choose someone instead of “None” in this kind of vote, they had to be beyond an ordinary level. In other words, it carried the meaning of “someone you like romantically.”

Plus excluding the academic track where interaction was rare, and then filtering for girls… So-yul really had an impossibly high popularity.

It was amazing that I was even fake dating someone like this.

I scrolled down.

People who received even one vote were extremely rare, most showing a parade of zeros.

Of course, I was no exception.

The number proudly written next to my name was, pitifully:

[Min Woo-jin: 0/59]

“…Hmm.”

I clicked my tongue for a moment, but well, what could I do? I wasn’t the only one with zero votes – most were in the same situation. Nothing to be particularly shocked about.

I wondered if this could even be considered a proper vote, but holding this kind of survey at this school was nonsensical from the start. The people who started it probably weren’t that serious about it either.

As I was about to put my phone away with a snort:

I accidentally refreshed the voting results screen.

[Min Woo-jin: 1/60]

For some reason, my votes had increased by one.