Chapter 43: Comfort Amid Shadows
by Afuhfuihgs“Guys, which one is better, this one or this one?” I said, posting two photos in the gallery and asking.
Sigh, I feel like I’m going crazy.
- Stop… stop… stop… stop… stop… stop… stop… stop…
“Why? It’s only been 20 minutes.”
Shouldn’t I at least get this much?
We were deciding on the profile picture for the broadcast.
We can’t stay with the default profile forever.
At first, I thought it would be quick, but this turned out to be harder than I expected.
I had to pick one photo that represented me.
Hmm… I’m torn.
Should I use a cute photo, or a pretty one?
Should I use a full-body photo, or just a close-up of my face?
“Hmm…”
At that moment, a donation came in.
- Ani donated 1000 won.
- “If I pick one for you, you’ll just say ‘But…,’ ramble on, and then if I tell you to pick the other one, you’ll do the same—just say ‘But…’ and ramble on. What am I supposed to do?”.
Sigh…
“What, what? You can’t even listen to this much?”
I really couldn’t decide.
I muttered, pulling out five more photos to show and said,
“Then, which one is better, this one or this one?”
“Ugh, damn…”
- Haha.
- It’s driving me crazy, really.
- It’s hard to crack this brain.
- There are lots of pretty photos.
- Can you upload them all to Trello?
- It feels nice like I’ve gotten a girlfriend…
“What about this one?”
“ot this one ….or this one?”
- Pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe, pretty~ hehe
- Please… stop…
- Ah, really, hahaha, I can’t help but laugh now.
- At this rate, everyone’s going to die…
- … I can’t decide.
- They’re all so pretty.
“Hmm… I’ll just decide later.”
And then, I closed everything.
Then the viewers went crazy, foaming at the mouth.
…
Why are they like this?
Can’t even handle this much?
They said they like me.
I thought while calling Song Chae-hyun.
“Chae-hyun unni, what do you think? Which one suits me better?”
“…”
But there was no response.
“Unni?”
Huh? I-hyun, what?
Then, a late chat appeared. It seemed like they rushed to type, and I saw a typo.
…
Could it be that she wasn’t listening at all?
“Unni, didn’t you hear me?”
Of course, I was listening…
…
This is strange.
Then, can you tell me what I just said?”
…
After a while, there was no reply, and then.
Sorry I-hyun… hehe…
The kind of femininity that even other women can’t handle, hahaha.
Femininity (the bad kind).
Now you get it? So please stop, really.
I was a little upset.
I tried to hold back my pouting, staring at the manager list.
Manager list
dlgusdl123
As expected. No Yu Ji-eun again this time.
Song Chae-yeon is almost always there. I think she listens when she’s not in class or on the radio.
But these days, Yu Ji-eun has been missing.
She doesn’t respond to KakaoTalk either.
…
I wonder if something is bothering her?
4:34 PM: Unni
4:34 PM: What are you doing?
After sending that, I stared at the number 1 blankly.
Hoping it would disappear.
… But, of course, even after a few minutes, it didn’t disappear.
I wonder if something happened?
…
No, it’s fine. She still replies, even if it’s late or short.
She hasn’t been checking the group chat lately, but…
It’s okay. She’ll probably read it a bit later.
I was bored, so I decided to log into Bell. I had already reached today’s stream goal early.
When I opened Bell, the only friend on my list appeared.
I hovered the mouse cursor over her name.
Yu Ji-eunJi-eunJi-eunJi-yu
Last played: 4 days ago.
A person who used to play at least three games a day suddenly stopped.
Unable to contain myself, I called her.
“Hello?”
Yu Ji-eun answered after the ringing went on for quite a while.
Her voice lacked energy.
Worried, I asked, “Unni… are you okay?”
“Huh?”
“You haven’t been answering messages or playing games lately… I got worried, so I called.”
She was silent for a moment, then let out a small laugh.
“…”
“Thanks for worrying about me. I’ve just been feeling low these days.”
“Really?”
I was even more worried now. She rarely showed this side of herself.
“If there’s anything I can do to help…”
She was one of the people I cherished the most.
After another pause, she spoke.
“I-hyun.”
“Yes?”
“Do you hate me a lot?”
“Wh-what?”
That came out of nowhere.
“No, not at all!”
I waved my hand as I spoke, though I knew she couldn’t see it.
“Unni?”
“…Have I been too overbearing?”
Overbearing…
I hesitated.
Sometimes I felt a bit overwhelmed, but that was all.
She had done so much for me, and I admired her deeply.
“No… Everything you’ve done has been for my sake. Hehe…”
“…Is that so?”
Her voice still sounded weak.
I wanted to be of some help. After all, she’d always helped me.
So I asked her, nervous since I rarely initiated.
“Unni.”
“Yes?”
“Are you done with work for today?”
“Oh, yes. I’m done for the day.”
“Then…if you could pls come to my place”
I swallowed nervously.
***
Knock, knock.
At the sound, I jumped up and opened the door.
“Unni! You’re here?”
“Yes.”
She definitely didn’t look well.
Although she forced a smile, her fatigue was evident.
“Come in and have a seat.”
“Thank you.”
Yu Ji-eun smiled at me again and sat on the cushion.
Since there was only one cushion, I sat on the floor.
When she saw that, she offered to sit on the floor instead, but I waved my hands frantically, insisting it was fine.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
“No way. I’m just really happy you came.”
She reached out and gently patted my head.
I quietly let her, then picked up my phone.
“What are you doing?” she asked, curious.
“When you’re feeling down, delivery is the answer!”
“Uh, what? Oh, okay…”
While she looked bewildered, I ordered tteokbokki and fried chicken.
They’re both pricey, but they go so well together.
If there’s too much, we can just save the leftovers for later.
After placing the order, I set my phone down and stared at her.
“…Why are you looking at me like that?”
“…Because.”
The difference between men and women has always seemed vast to me.
The biggest difference?
Women, regardless of age or gender, have a unique ability to uplift others.
Flop.
Like this.
I fell into her arms.
“Unni… cheer up, okay?”
I said it in an aegyo-filled tone.
“Wh-what?”
Yu Ji-eun stammered, as if she short-circuited for a moment. But I could clearly see the corners of her mouth twitching upward.
Smiling softly in her arms, I thought about how much she seemed to adore me, just like Song Chae-hyun did.
Yu Ji-eun chuckled lightly, as if she couldn’t handle it, and eventually began stroking my head.
I hoped this might lift her spirits, even just a little.
She held me close, continuing to stroke my hair, then gently hugged me.
After a moment of silence, she suddenly spoke.
“…I-hyun.”
“Yesss…?”
Feeling too comfortable in her arms, my response came out lazily.
“You don’t need to send me selfies or updates on your daily life anymore.”
“Huh? Why?”
“Well… I don’t think it’s necessary anymore. I’ve already realized how kind you are, I-hyun.”
“Really?”
Hearing her say that made me a little happy—I felt acknowledged.
I buried my head back into her arms.
But…
“Umm…”
Truthfully, the selfies weren’t just for her. I liked taking them, and her constant compliments had encouraged me to post more than a few in a row.
Finally, I asked hesitantly, “Can I still keep posting selfies, though?”
“Huh? Why?”
“Uh… because…”
I fidgeted before replying.
“I like taking them too… and you compliment them a lot, so…”
Yu Ji-eun chuckled and patted my head.
“Post them in the group chat, then.”
“Ah! Okay!”
That way, I could get double the compliments.
“Is it good?”
She nodded while chewing on a piece of chicken.
Her expression melted as she ate a drumstick.
…
It was definitely the right decision to order delivery food. Even though she was wealthy, she didn’t seem to have an issue with popular takeout.
“I-hyun.”
“Yes?”
I swallowed a bite of tteokbokki before answering.
“Why didn’t you call me yesterday?”
Yu Ji-eun looked slightly nervous.
“Huh? Oh!”
I clapped my hands as it hit me.
“I forgot! I’m so sorry!”
She stared at me quietly, then smiled faintly.
“…Thank you.”
“Huh? For what?”
“For inviting me over. And for not hating me…”
“What? Why would I hate you? I like you a lot—actually, I cherish you.”
At my words, Yu Ji-eun suddenly went silent.
“…Later, I’ll give you a kiss.”
“What?”
…
She must be feeling better if she’s joking like this.
… It’s a joke, right?
As we chatted and ate our food, I decided to FaceTime Song Chae-hyun.
It felt unfair to have this much fun while leaving her out.
“Hello?”
“Unni!”
I smiled brightly, waving at the screen.
“What’s this? Why are you FaceTiming me out of the blue?”
“I wanted to show you how we’re hanging out.”
“Huh? With who—wait, why is Ji-eun there?”
She sounded surprised.
“Chae-hyun, you had fun with I-hyun yesterday, didn’t you? It’s my turn today.”
“…Fine. I’ll allow it.”
I expected them to bicker, but surprisingly, it ended without any fuss.
…
Probably because she noticed how tired Yu Ji-eun still looked.
Although she seemed better than before, the fatigue was still evident on her face.
“Unni, I’m setting up the camera here.”
I said as I dragged a chair over and placed the camera on it.
Now, it was perfectly at eye level with us.
I waved at it with a broad smile, and Song Chae-hyun waved back.
“This is perfect. I’m eating dinner too—alone, though.”
And so, we all enjoyed dinner together, chatting and laughing.
Meanwhile, Yu Ji-eun asked for permission to explore my room.
… Alongside Song Chae-hyun.
Chae-hyun wanted to see how clean my room was and asked me to show her around. Ji-eun seemed interested and agreed.
“See? You didn’t clean this spot.”
“Yes…”
I received occasional scolding.
Even though I’d run the vacuum after inviting Yu Ji-eun over, it clearly wasn’t enough.
Why am I getting nagged again?
“Ji-eun, check that corner over there.”
“Oh, wow… hair everywhere. I-hyun, you’ll need to clean properly before I visit again.”
“What!?”
Cleaning… It’s embarrassing.
Having someone else clean your room is more humiliating than I’d thought.
But since Song Chae-hyun wouldn’t budge on such matters, I nodded reluctantly.
“Okay…”
“Good. Now, can you open the wardrobe? Is it okay if we look inside, I-hyun?”
“Yes, uh, yes.”
There wasn’t anything to hide, so I agreed.
…
Or so I thought.
“Wait—”
Before I could stop her, Yu Ji-eun had already opened the wardrobe.
“…What?”
Inside, there were three urns.
They contained the ashes of my parents and my younger sibling.
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