Chapter 42 : Am I wrong or are you wrong

Inside the small car, the scenery outside the window rushed by quickly as they drove along the road.

Yoon Jihoo and Park Nayul couldn’t be together today.

It was unavoidable due to a scheduling conflict with the performance competition.

If the system had been operating, I too would have been somewhere else.

I probably would have been forced once again to observe the original flow against my will.

But now it was different.

Thanks to the system being under maintenance, I could move freely of my own accord for that brief moment.

I didn’t realize such a short period of freedom could be so sweet.

However—

Before I could even feel the sense of freedom, another thought seeped into my mind.

‘I wonder if Lee Jian is doing well?’

I unconsciously pressed the inside of my palm.

“You seem more nervous than her?”

Sister Jihye looked at me with a smile.

Jihye was driving in a relaxed posture.

Sitting still like that, she definitely resembled Jian a lot.

She was like a calmer, more mature version of Jian.

“Jian seems to have changed a lot lately.”

“Is that so?”

“She’s changed a lot.”

Jihye smiled as if pleased by the change.

I too preferred the current Jian over the one in the original story.

“Jian never liked being in the spotlight before.”

I knew that.

Rather than shining on stage herself, her original role was to make others shine from behind the scenes.

Instead of receiving the glamorous spotlight, she tried to maintain overall balance, and even during group practices, she paid more attention than anyone else while taking a step back herself.

She didn’t try to cross the line she had drawn for herself.

That’s how it was in the original story. But now it’s different.

“Even if there was something she wanted, she wouldn’t easily say it. She’s been like that since she was young.”

Jihye slowly began to tell stories from the past.

“Usually young kids throw tantrums when they want something, right? But Jian didn’t do that. Even when it was obvious she wanted something, she wouldn’t ask for it.”

“That’s not a good habit.”

“Right? And then she would cry in secret. She kept regretting it, but she kept doing it again and again.”

She looked out the window worriedly and continued speaking.

With a somewhat abrupt question.

“Do

you

believe in Santa?”

“No.”

“I mean when you were little.”

“Since I was 4 years old? I don’t think I really believed even then.”

“That’s unusual. Most kids that age usually believe.”

“I think I just knew. My parents would get strangely busy around that time. They tried to hide it, but I could see right through it.”

I smiled at the old memory that came to mind.

Christmas, warm memories despite the winter days.

“I guess they thought they were hiding it well. When I said Santa wasn’t real, they looked like the sky was falling.”

“Haha, that’s pretty funny.”

“Right? So I lied and said I believed in Santa. I probably kept it up for quite a while. Then they’d say their son still maintained his childhood innocence.”

“Hahaha.”

She let out a hearty laugh while tapping on the steering wheel.

“Well, that’s how it was. In the end, it was a lie and I deceived them.”

I spoke the words bitterly.

I wonder if it was the same for me in this world?

I’m not sure.

I haven’t seen any family photos since coming here.

There was an album, but I didn’t bother to open it.

I was scared. Afraid that unfamiliar faces might be in the opened album.

Afraid that I might not be me.

So, was it all a lie?

The memories from before? Or the traces of this world?

I don’t know.

I didn’t like distinguishing between truth and lies. I was just scared.

“In the end, was it all a lie?”

As soon as I said it, I regretted it.

It felt like I was making the atmosphere awkward for no reason.

Sister Jihye laughed casually and tapped the steering wheel once more.

“It’s okay. What does it matter if it’s a lie or the truth? Everyone does that sort of thing at least once, right?”

I turned my head slightly to look at her.

“What do

you mean?”

“Living while adjusting yourself to others.”

Her voice was calm, but there was a deep resonance somewhere.

“You just wanted your parents to be happy, right? If they knew you did it on purpose, anyone would be grateful for that feeling.”

She added playfully:

“It doesn’t matter if it’s true, right? If it is, it means you really did maintain your childhood innocence.”

I didn’t respond.

The scenery passing by outside the window somehow seemed clearer.

“But you know.”

Jihye continued quietly with a smile.

“Sometimes, isn’t it okay for someone to see through your heart too?”

11

“It’s not just about you adjusting, you hiding, you having to swallow things quietly.”

I unconsciously clenched and unclenched my fingers.

“It’s okay to say it’s hard when it’s hard. It’s okay to speak up when something’s on your mind. Just as you are. You don’t need to live wrapped up in a facade of pretending to be calm.”

A gentle breeze passed by outside the window.

“There will be people who like you for being that way.”

Her words slowly seeped into my mind.

After Jihye finished speaking, a brief silence fell in the car.

I mulled over her words while looking at the passing scenery outside the window.

“Jian believed in Santa until last year, you know?”

I involuntarily turned: my head at her sudden remark.

“Really?”

“Yes. But she didn’t ask Santa for any gifts.”

“Don’t kids usually write down what gifts they want and put it up somewhere?”

“That’s right. But Jian just gave up on her own. She said she wouldn’t get any gifts because she was a crybaby, and gave up preemptively.”

Jihye laughed lightly, but those words sank unusually heavily within me.

“She had the personality of not even wishing for things if she thought she couldn’t have them. I guess she hated being disappointed after having expectations.”

With those words, scenes came to mind.

Jian pretending to be fine, pretending to be okay, pretending to be strong.

The image of her in the original story, curling up and crying in secret while saying such things.

Because she couldn’t even confess once and gave up on her own.

Maybe back then too, she was afraid of being disappointed after having expectations.

Maybe back then too, she believed she couldn’t have it.

I absentmindedly kneaded my fingers while looking out the window.

The scenery flowing past the moving car window somehow felt unfamiliar.

“But you know what’s strange?”

Jihye suddenly spoke with a smile.

I turned to look at her.

“While she easily gives up on things she can’t have, she has a strong obsession with things she already has.”

I pondered those words.

“A strong obsession?”

“Very strong. You have no idea. Jian used to have a duck plushie she cherished, you know?”

“Yes.”

“It got damaged and we tried to throw it away. She cried and made such a fuss. Mom and I had such a hard time trying to calm her down.”

She shuddered slightly as if the memory still made her shudder.

“Dad bought her the exact same plushie but that wasn’t okay either. She made such a fuss.”

Jian’s childhood stories were fascinating.

“So what happened?”

“In the end, there was a toy hospital or something? We ended up sending it there for treatment. I think she still has that plushie.”

I unconsciously fiddled with my fingertips.

“A few days ago too.”

Jihye seemed to be organizing her thoughts while continuing to drive.

“She lost a piece of paper.”

“A piece of paper?”

“It was a small scrap of paper. I think something was written on it. What was it? A wish coupon?”

“Ahem. Ahem.”

A cough escaped me.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. So what happened?”

“She searched everywhere, going to all the places she had been, constantly looking for it.”

I momentarily imagined it.

Her searching every corner of the streets, retracing her steps to figure out where she lost it.

“Did she end up finding it?”

“Yes. And you know what’s funny?”

Jihye chuckled.

“It was just deep inside her bag all along.”

I was momentarily at a loss for words.

“So, she never actually lost it?”

“That’s right. But even after finding it, she stared at it for a long time.”

Jihye continued with a meaningful look.

“As if she never wanted to lose it again.”

I unconsciously fiddled with my fingertips.

A light piece of paper. What meaning could that single sheet have for her to cherish it so much?

‘What on earth is she trying to make me do.’

Along with an inexplicable anxiety, I felt a strangely ticklish feeling in my heart.

On the other hand, I thought it was quite careless to treat something so precious so recklessly.

I smiled while looking out the window.

Thinking of Jian’s childhood made me smile for some reason.

Jihye glanced at me and said playfully:

“For one, I approve.”

The smile on her face somehow felt ominous.

“…Of what?”

“What else? You two dating.”

“What?!”

“What? Aren’t you two dating?”

I momentarily lost my words.

I should say no.

I should clearly say no,

“…We’re not.”

but.

It took several seconds for the words to come out.

Jihye raised the corners of her mouth even more after hearing my answer.

“Hm? I think you hesitated a bit just now?”

“…That can’t be.”

“See, you can’t answer even now.”

I felt my throat go dry.

I hurriedly turned

my head.

The scenery outside the window flowed by.

It must have been the same road I always saw, but somehow everything felt clearer.

No, perhaps I was desperately trying to focus on something else.

Jihye continued speaking with a grin.

“You think you hide your true feelings well, right? Sorry, but from the outside, it’s all obvious.”

I instinctively managed my expression.

Not moving my eyebrows, slightly pursing my lips.

Even as I tried to maintain my usual expressionless face, I felt a strange tightness in one side of my chest.

I tried to maintain my usual calm face, but there was a subtle tension in my fingertips.

“I’m not sure about your expression. But it all shows in your actions.”

The moment I heard those words, the tension in my fingertips awkwardly released.

I unconsciously rubbed my wrist with my other hand.

“I’ll have to be careful then.”

“When I tease you, the impact seems good too.”

“…Then I’ll have to be even more careful.”

Jihye looked at me with an amused expression, then nodded and added playfully:

“Good luck. I don’t think being careful will be enough.”

She turned her gaze towards the window and said meaningfully:

“Like I said, she has a strong obsession with things she has.”

At those words, I felt my throat go dry.

“But she hasn’t caught me yet.”

“Is that so? Then it’s one of two things. Either I’m wrong or you’re wrong.”

Suddenly, I felt goosebumps.

It felt like the inside of the car had gotten chilly.

I hurriedly changed the subject.

“The air conditioning seems a bit strong, can we turn it down?”

Jihye nodded with a chuckle.

But the look in her eyes as she glanced at me seemed to see through everything somehow.

Jihye’s smile, laughing casually as if she knew everything, somehow didn’t sit well with me.