Chapter 4 – The Chat Room #2

Seven in the morning.

Having woken up at five and tossed and turned in bed for two hours, Cowabunga finally gave up on getting any more sleep.

He wanted to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come.

“Haa…”

How should he describe it? Was it that his heart was pounding with a mix of excitement and anxiety?

This complicated feeling, like the giddiness before a school trip laced with a strange tension.

“This is killing me.”

It wasn’t just that he’d woken up early; he hadn’t slept at all.

He’d stared into the darkness until finally drifting off around three or four in the morning, which meant he’d only gotten about an hour of sleep.

Why was he like this?

Had he, Cowabunga, really been this invested in Aboki and Nopoki?

‘No, that’s not it.’

He hadn’t been this nervous for the first offline meetup, the one that got canceled.

Why?

Why was he so particularly tense about this meetup?

‘Don’t tell me my superpower has evolved into precognition?’

Was it reading the future and sending him some kind of signal?

‘I really must be sleep-deprived.’

Judging by the way his delusions were running wild.

Putting a stop to the nonsense in his head, Cowabunga took a hot shower and sat down at his computer.

It was still a long time until the appointed hour of 2 PM, so he thought about getting some work done, but it was no use.

After fiddling with his tablet for about five minutes, Cowabunga opened Discord.

He wanted to see the other chat room members, who were probably just as nervous as he was.

“No one’s here.”

But there was no one.

It was early, sure, but usually one or two people—especially AAA—were always online. Right now, it was empty.

Were they all sleeping in because it was the weekend?

‘Come to think of it, I’ve never logged on at this time on a weekend either.’

He was always busy getting his beauty sleep.

‘No one in Heroic Saga, either.’

He logged into the game just in case, but as expected, no one was there.

For a moment, Cowabunga considered posting some random nonsense in the group chat, but his finger froze just before hitting send.

It felt like he was the only one being impatient while everyone else was calm.

‘Right, let’s just relax.’

It was just a matter of meeting the people he saw online every day, but offline.

That was all.

Taking a deep breath, Cowabunga sat cross-legged and steadied his breathing.

And five hours later.

“They’re late.”

It was ten past one in the afternoon.

Having somehow(?) ended up at the meeting spot an hour early, Cowabunga sat alone in a café, chewing on a straw and staring at his phone.

Since there was still an hour to go, the group chat was quiet, save for some silly things Cowabunga had scribbled out of boredom and the perfunctory morning greetings.

“Huuuh.”

How should he put it?

Did he feel a bit wronged?

Here he was, arriving an hour early and stewing in anxiety, while everyone else was completely unfazed.

Didn’t this make him look like the only one who was excited?

‘Excited? Or maybe just looking forward to it? Anyway, damn it. It’s all because of that dream.’

A dream he’d had not last night, but two nights ago.

A completely ridiculous delusion that had popped into his head by chance while thinking about the long-awaited second meetup.

The idea that AAA wasn’t a pervy otaku old man, but a cheerful and lewd otaku older sister.

‘I’m crazy, I’m absolutely crazy.’

Of all the dreams to have.

He couldn’t tell anyone he’d dreamed of AAA as a hot older sister.

Even he himself felt pathetic just thinking about it.

‘Okay, calm down. Get a grip.’

AAA.

What kind of person was he?

Wasn’t he an otaku who sent lewd pictures on Discord whenever he was bored?

And not just any otaku.

He was an old-fashioned man who loved dad jokes more than anyone.

His username itself, AAA, was something you’d expect from the 20th century.

Cowabunga closed his eyes for a moment and recalled his interactions with AAA.

There was one incident from just a few days ago.

[AAA: Hey you, hey you. You know what you call a frozen duck?]

[Cowabunga: What?]

[AAA: A quack-sicle.]

[AAA: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO]

[AAA: Hey you, you know where astronauts go to drink?]

[Cowabunga: …What?]

[AAA: The space bar.]

[AAA: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO Isn’t that hilarious? It is, right? I know you’re laughing right now.]

[Cowabunga: Oh for fuck’s sake. Just piss off.]

[AAA: Such a dishonest fellow.]

A quack-sicle.

The space bar.

Just thinking about them again made his heart grow cold.

‘Right, that’s the kind of guy AAA is.’

And it wasn’t just dad jokes he loved.

He was also a huge fan of dirty jokes.

A cheerful otaku older sister who enjoyed lewd pictures, dad jokes, and dirty humor.

‘Ah, damn it. Why did it end with ‘older sister’ all of a sudden?’

But once started, one delusion led to another.

Moreover, Cowabunga’s profession was an illustrator—one who specialized in the so-called “otaku” art style.

Naturally, Cowabunga pictured a female version of AAA in his head and thought to himself without realizing it.

‘Oh, not bad. I should remember this design for later—no, no. I can’t abandon my own dignity.’

Be a person.

Whatever he was like online, in the offline world, he was a respectable member of society, wasn’t he?

Calming himself with a deep breath, Cowabunga began to imagine something a little more wholesome.

Namely, what Namman Cat or Nopoki would be like.

About forty minutes later.

Facing Kim Hye-eun—Namman Cat—who had arrived ten minutes early like a proper member of society, Cowabunga said:

“Hmm, just as I expected.”

“That comment is somehow infuriating.”

Kim Hye-eun.

Namman Cat.

Age 27.

A conventionally pretty woman in her mid-to-late twenties, dressed in a way that wasn’t overly flashy but showed a good fashion sense.

On top of that, she gave off the strong impression of a typical reliable older sister, the kind who would take good care of others.

“Hey, you’re just as I expected too, you know?”

Cowabunga scoffed at Kim Hye-eun’s remark, but in truth, her words weren’t just a random jab.

Cowabunga’s current outfit was quite flashy.

His hair, which could be called a ‘bob cut,’ was a striking pink, and while the clothes he wore weren’t particularly expensive or from a famous brand, they suited his frame perfectly.

Average height, slender build.

Long, thin fingers.

A rather cute and handsome face, but with an unmistakable aura of an otaku seeping from his eyes and demeanor. A man in his mid-twenties.

And since his real-life profession was practically public knowledge thanks to the Heroic Saga fan art and memes he frequently posted, he was easy to picture.

“Did you come alone? Where’s Nopoki?”

At Cowabunga’s question, Kim Hye-eun shrugged and replied.

“She’s coming with Aboki.”

“Of course. Just as I expected.”

So they were a couple living together, or something close to it!

In response to Cowabunga’s deduction, Kim Hye-eun simply sipped her drink through the straw without saying a word.

And then, maybe a minute, no, two minutes later.

“Eonni~”

At the fresh, cheerful, and familiar voice, Cowabunga and Kim Hye-eun turned their heads in unison.

Yellow Storm.

A VTuber who had become quite famous thanks to “Tanya Noona’s Scolding Special,” which had surpassed a million views.

The perennial runner-up of Heroic Saga 2, whose voice they knew so well.

As Nopoki—Hong Yu-hee—appeared, waving her hand, Cowabunga’s eyes widened.

She was short, probably a little under 160 cm, with a cute and pretty face that had a cat-like feel, and a well-proportioned figure that made you forget her short stature.

Honestly, she was exactly as he’d expected, but he was so taken aback by how much prettier and cuter she was in person that he found himself staring, mesmerized.

And at Cowabunga’s reaction, Kim Hye-eun grinned.

After all, the person who had created the Hong Yu-hee of today was none other than Kim Hye-eun herself.

‘She had a good foundation but never bothered to dress up.’

But not anymore.

Just as girls who have fallen in love often do, Hong Yu-hee had begun to shine even when left alone, and now she was even putting effort into her appearance.

“Um, Cowa…bunga?”

Hong Yu-hee, who had sat down next to Kim Hye-eun, asked cautiously. Cowabunga found himself blushing as he nodded.

“Uh, yeah. Um. I’m Cowa…bunga.”

It’s embarrassing.

Suddenly, it’s so embarrassing.

Why did I choose Cowabunga as my username?

But Cowabunga wasn’t the only one feeling embarrassed.

“Oh, uh, yeah. Um, I’m… you know, right? Yellow… Storm.”

“Uh-huh. Nopoki.”

I want to introduce myself properly.

I want to call her by her real name, not her username.

Both felt a strong urge, but in the end, they just squirmed in embarrassment, neither able to suggest a proper introduction.

Watching them, Kim Hye-eun chuckled and slung an arm around Hong Yu-hee’s shoulder, asking.

“Where’s Aboki?”

“Oppa had to run a quick errand, so he’s stopping by somewhere first. He’ll be here soon.”

As Hong Yu-hee said this with a little giggle, Kim Hye-eun smiled wryly and glanced at Cowabunga, who nodded in understanding.

Oppa.

And Hong Yu-hee giggling as she said oppa.

‘So that’s how it is between them. You guessed, right?’

‘I guessed.’

‘You see why I wasn’t so keen on pushing for this meetup, right?’

‘Yeah, I think I get it.’

If Nopoki alone was like this, what would happen when Aboki was added to the mix?

What if their power to inflict romantic jealousy on singles grew even stronger?

Cowabunga exchanged a look with Kim Hye-eun and let out a hollow laugh, but it was only for a moment.

Despite everything, his curiosity about Aboki was bubbling up.

‘First off, since she called him oppa, he’s definitely a guy.’

What kind of guy was he?

What kind of man could make a beautiful girl, the very ideal of every gaming otaku, so head over heels for him?

“By the way, has AAA not arrived yet?”

“Yeah, not yet. Come to think of it, Cowabunga, you’ve never met AAA either, right?”

“Nope.”

Still, perhaps because they had spent years chatting together, once they started talking, conversation flowed as naturally as it would between old friends.

“Cowabunga is exactly as I pictured, but I honestly have no idea what AAA will be like.”

“Well… probably just some old guy?”

At Kim Hye-eun’s answer, Cowabunga found himself nodding.

He had indulged in all sorts of otaku fantasies while waiting alone, but honestly, the highest probability was that AAA was just an old man.

‘In the first place, the fact that Namman and Nopoki are women is already strange, considering the gender ratio in Heroic Saga 2.’

Having two women in a five-person chat room was surprising enough, but three?

Considering the gender ratio in Heroic Saga 2 was about 9:1, it was realistically impossible.

And this was AAA, after all.

An old-school otaku who loved dad jokes, pervy humor, and classic works.

“Still, you never know, right? Maybe she’s like, a fun older sister.”

“Well… I guess it’s not entirely impossible?”

“No, no way.”

That was Hong Yu-hee, Kim Hye-eun, and Cowabunga, in order.

Unlike the other two, Cowabunga was in the process of regaining his sense of reality.

“Anyway, I wish they’d hurry up and get here. It’s already past the meeting time.”

As Hong Yu-hee said, it was now five minutes past their appointed time of two o’clock.

Aboki was running a little late, which was understandable, but what had happened to AAA?

“Is there anything in the group chat?”

“Hold on—”

The moment Cowabunga lifted his phone.

“Nopoki? And Namman?”

Startled by the deep, rough voice from behind him, Cowabunga instinctively flinched and spun around, only to flinch again.

A giant of a man, towering over 190 cm and seeming to approach two meters.

No, it wasn’t just his height; he was a true behemoth with shoulders as wide as the Pacific and insane biceps reminiscent of the actor Ma Dong-seok.

A man in his mid-thirties with a short haircut and a closely trimmed beard to match.

A white shirt with no tie, a black suit, and a gold chain.

A face with an intimidating aura that made you want to lower your gaze immediately.

“Uh…”

As Cowabunga stammered, unable to even say the name “AAA,” the mountain of a man grinned broadly and spoke.

“Oh, you must be Cowabunga?”

“Uh, y-yes. I mean, uh… yeah.”

Was that formal or informal speech?

Completely frozen, Cowabunga managed a clumsy reply. Kim Hye-eun couldn’t laugh at his state.

She, too, had flinched and shrunk back.

“Hey, relax. Loosen up. Who’s gonna eat you?”

AAA laughed heartily and slapped Cowabunga on the back, but the force behind it was truly extraordinary.

With each slap, Cowabunga let out a choked gasp.

‘This is unexpected.’

Completely unexpected.

Would he be able to act normally at this meetup?

Would the chat room gatherings even continue after today?

Just as that thought crossed Cowabunga’s mind.

“Pfft. Heh. Pffhehehe.”

The sound of suppressed laughter from behind him snapped Cowabunga to his senses, and he activated his superpower.

The man patting his back.

He was—

‘Not AAA?!’

“Ah, seriously, boss. You’re the one who suggested we trick them, how can you laugh like that?”

At the words that came out of “AAA’s” mouth, Cowabunga’s eyes widened, as did Kim Hye-eun’s and Hong Yu-hee’s.

And the source of the laughter.

A woman in a revealing black outfit, who had been sitting at a nearby table the whole time, stood up, giggling.

Her black hair was tied up high, and she wore a black mask and smoky makeup, a rare sight these days, giving her a tough impression.

Her leather boots and chain accessories made her outfit look incredibly fierce. She patted the giant’s shoulder and said:

“That’s enough, you can go now.”

“Stop calling me for things like this.”

The giant grumbled like a pouting child, then stood up, winked at the still-frozen group, and said:

“Well then, have fun.”

With a friendly smile, the man turned and left the café, leaving Kim Hye-eun and Hong Yu-hee to wonder.

Who on earth was that man?

And what was his relationship with AAA?

“Ah, AAA.”

Snapping back to reality, Kim Hye-eun lifted her head sharply. The real AAA giggled, plopped down in the seat next to Cowabunga, and said:

“I’m AAA. Surprised, everyone?”

Was she in her late twenties?

Her cheerful voice seemed to contradict her tough appearance. Hong Yu-hee blinked her large eyes, and AAA, finding that cute, giggled again before pinching Hong Yu-hee’s cheek.

“That’s right, I’m your eonni. Your older sister. Our Nopoki is just as I imagined, huh? And you must be Namman, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

At Kim Hye-eun’s reply, AAA laughed again and took off her mask.

A beauty who, despite her cheerful smile, somehow felt intimidating.

She poked the cheek of Cowabunga, who was sitting right next to her.

“Hey you, hey you. What’s wrong? Did you never imagine I’d be a woman?”

No, I did imagine it.

In fact, for the past few days, she looks exactly as I imagined.

Instead of stammering, Cowabunga activated his superpower on AAA’s finger, which was poking his cheek.

AAA.

Real name: Yoo Ga-young.

Owner of an online adult toy shop.

And—

‘Hmm, he’s cuter than I thought. Maybe he’s my type?’

Reading the thought that flashed through AAA’s mind, Cowabunga flinched again.

Truth be told, based on looks alone, AAA was very much Cowabunga’s type as well.

A cheerful, lewd otaku older sister.

Wasn’t she his ideal type incarnate?

But it was at that very moment.

“Oh, it’s Oppa.”

At Hong Yu-hee’s words, Cowabunga and AAA simultaneously shot up from their seats and turned around.

And an involuntary exclamation escaped their lips.

‘Oh, holy shit.’

A man was striding toward them from a distance.

A man who looked to be in his mid-to-late 180s in height, and was incredibly, truly incredibly handsome.

And his physique was no ordinary one either.

If the man AAA had brought was a mountain of muscle, the man approaching now had a physique that clothes fit perfectly—a cool body that even other men would admire.

In short: a super-duper alpha male.

The very definition of a predator, the kind of man who would turn heads even if he were just walking around in slippers.

‘Th-that’s Aboki?’

That cool older brother—no, that man—was the same immature brat Aboki who would do a butt dance just to tease Nopoki?

He had expected a handsome guy, but this was beyond his wildest projections.

Could he be a stand-in, like the man AAA brought?

“Cowabunga and AAA?”

Aboki—Kang Jin-ho—had already strode right up to them. At his words, Cowabunga and AAA reflexively nodded. Kang Jin-ho smiled faintly and extended his hand to AAA first.

“Outboxer009. My real name is Kang Jin-ho.”

“Uh, oh. AAA… no, Yoo Ga-young… nice to meet you.”

Overwhelmed by the super alpha male’s aura, AAA found herself speaking formally as they shook hands. Kang Jin-ho smiled faintly again, this time extending his hand toward Cowabunga.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Uh… yes.”

Speaking formally just like AAA, Cowabunga smiled awkwardly and took Kang Jin-ho’s hand, reflexively activating his superpower.

And—

“Huh?”

The information transmitted through psychometry.

It was so far beyond his imagination that Cowabunga could only stare blankly, his eyes wide with disbelief.

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Translated By: Meher (RaidenTL)

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