What Had Been Freedom

Even after holding the small hand that was extended to me once more, we talked for a long time.

We shared times, moments, and feelings that had not been shared with anyone else until now.

We took turns listing the stories we wanted to tell and the stories we wanted to hear.

And so, until the night that we wished would never end finally came to a period.

No, even after she had somehow fallen asleep, we remained holding hands.

However, not long after, the moment the slightly reddened bright yellow eyes woke from the dream.

“…………”

At the youthful face that was still sleeping comfortably while firmly holding my hand.

At the sight of her breathing comfortably with slight wheezing, the suppressed desire raised its head again.

A sweet conviction naturally filled me.

If it’s now, if it’s a moment when there’s still time before the moment of parting.

It wouldn’t… matter, would it?

I forcibly swallowed the burdensome breath that had filled up to my chin and slowly pulled her closer.

I had to pause repeatedly for fear of waking her from her sleep, but it didn’t really matter.

And so, when I finally brought my face close again, right in front of her.

–Blink.

“Mmm…”

A blue gaze between sleep and wakefulness brushed past me for a fleeting moment.

As I froze in slight bewilderment.

For some reason, the child’s thin arms, with eyes closed again, extended toward me.

Not even a few seconds later, hugging me tightly as if embracing a giant teddy bear.

For a moment, I couldn’t even breathe properly.

My heartbeat that was getting faster and faster, as expected.

The child’s comfortable breathing followed, in contrast.

…Why was she so defenseless?

From the perspective that I had momentarily tried to forget the morals and ethics one should uphold as a person just a few seconds ago.

From the perspective that I had tried to unilaterally ‘force’ my desire to be more than just a good person, the child should have run away.

Strictly speaking, the child, who was still floating in dreamland, couldn’t have known what was about to happen.

Nevertheless, from the child’s perspective, she should have pushed me away harshly and fled instead of burying her face in my chest as she was doing now.

“Really… you’re too much…”

Swish. A hand that gently dug into the snow-white hair stroked the soft cheek several times.

The small mouth that was uttering indistinct mutterings that I couldn’t understand.

Finally, unable to hold out for long, tap.

After lowering my stiff head slightly, I kissed the snow-white forehead.

In reality, my gaze kept going to places other than the forehead.

No, I wanted to willingly do something more than a momentary kiss… but if I moved to the next level, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

Having lived selfishly all my life, I knew better than anyone that if I started being selfish once more, I wouldn’t be satisfied no matter what I did.

Also, that the fate of those who coveted what they couldn’t have was nothing but ruin.

Right after that, I got up, facing the sunlight coming through the slightly open curtains.

After making the room a bit darker for the child who was engulfed in light sleep, I left her alone on the wide bed and went outside.

As I turned the firmly locked doorknob, a settled voice reached me.

“Good morning, Saint.”

“You are…”

The conversation that followed was about those who had shown suspicious movements toward the saint from the first day of her stay until this moment.

The story that I heard as I walked along the corridor, which still had no particular signs of people, was not very welcome.

The face that had a proper mix of affection and resignation directed solely at the child became slightly distorted.

However, just before entering the office where my attendant Iji and the Lunatic Guild Master were waiting.

“I don’t particularly mind you finding Lua cute… But it’s rather problematic if you find her cute in a different sense.”

I couldn’t easily open my mouth to the inhuman voice that spoke about the events of the past few hours, as always.

“It would be better for you to exercise some restraint in the future. Well, not that the same thing would happen again anyway.”

This was followed by a not-quite-mutter about having had to work three consecutive nights because of me.

In other words, if I had ultimately crossed the line, I might have paid the price for crossing that line from the Vice Guild Master who had been waiting outside since who knows when.

For a moment, a chill ran down my spine.

If I had deliberately gauged the power difference, there might have been some chance of winning, but even so, the real power of the Lunatic Guild.

No, I couldn’t turn an entire massive world that spread throughout the world centered on this city of Erda into an enemy.

“…I understand.”

Instead of the countless barbed words I had uttered until now, I gave an answer indicating that I would readily accept the advice.

Right after that, I set foot into the place where people were waiting for me.

After being informed in more detail about those who had tried to attack the saint, I also talked for quite a long time with my attendant Iji about the upcoming schedule.

To be precise, it was just Iji unilaterally explaining things, but anyway.

“…and if you act selfishly again there, then I really—”

“I get it, I get it. I’ll be as quiet as possible and not do anything.”

News that preparations for heading to the next destination had been completed came about an hour later.

However, I realized I hadn’t yet said goodbye.

“Hey, Iji. We don’t have to leave right now no matter what, right?”

“Ah, yes… There’s no need to rush particularly.”

“Then, I’ll go for a ‘walk’ with Lua-nim for just one hour. Is that okay?”

In the end, no words of refusal were heard.

It’s not like there was no noise in between, but that’s a different matter.

Either way, having been granted time to be alone with the child once more, I didn’t want to waste even a minute or a second.

It was only natural that I hurriedly headed toward the child who was said to have just appeared at the request office.

“L-Lua-nim…”

Even while gasping for breath, I revealed the purpose of my urgent search for the child.

Sure enough, this time too, the small head nodded slowly instead of shaking from side to side.

There was just a very brief moment of hesitation, but as if there had never been a choice of refusal from the beginning, she followed my will even at the very last.

Not long after, the place we arrived at was a small hill located behind the Lunatic Guild headquarters.

Perhaps because I could see at a glance all the places I had visited with the child over the past few days, even though words I absolutely had to say and wanted to say were filled up to my chin, my mouth wouldn’t easily open.

Nevertheless, time was flowing, and the moment of parting was approaching.

“…Lua-nim.”

I forcibly opened my mouth and called the name that would be missed.

What I faced was the snow-white hair fluttering in the cool breeze that had been blowing from some point.

It appeared in fragments, like an old film.

Only, she gazed at me intently, as if she wouldn’t let anything I said pass by unheard.

“Would you step forward just one step?”

After finally laying out the words that had been circling inside my mouth, I made one last request to the child whom I wouldn’t meet again unless she came directly to the Holy Country’s temple.

“I just realized… I feel like I’ve only been receiving from Lua-nim all this time.”

And simultaneously, swish.

A sacred object in the form of a thin necklace appeared in the air and was placed around the slender neck.

“You don’t have to wear it all the time. Still, I would like you to remember me whenever you happen to see this necklace once in a while.”

It wasn’t an object that functioned solely as a token of memory, but that didn’t matter right now.

Strictly speaking, the day when that sacred object would serve its function should never come.

Because if the sacred object [Blessing of the Past] activates, it means that a great danger requiring the sacred object to operate has come before the child.

“We probably won’t meet again in the future… But I still hope to remain on good terms with Lua-nim.”

When our eyes met for a fleeting moment right after, a small ripple occurred somewhere in my chest at the sight of the bright smile she showed.

“What does it matter if we won’t meet again in the future? Daina Unnie and I will always be friends.”

“Friends…”

“Yes, friends. They say the more friends, the better, right? So we too—”

After forcibly cutting off the child’s words, which I didn’t need to listen carefully to know what was coming, I turned my back.

If those two syllables were to define the relationship between myself and the child, it felt like it would completely solidify. As if even the slightest possibility of becoming another type of relationship would completely disappear…

“Thank you for everything. In many ways.”

I deliberately put a period to the conversation. Leaving no room for unsaid stories to continue.

It was a farewell.

I honestly felt awkward when Daina said with her own mouth that we wouldn’t meet again.

The reason being that as the story progressed, I was almost certainly scheduled to visit the Holy Country’s temple.

But telling her that we would meet again someday seemed like it would only give her unnecessary false hope right now.

“Take care~.”

Not long after, I waved my hand slightly toward Daina, who was now really preparing to leave.

She still had her back turned, so I couldn’t tell what expression she was making, but seeing her flinch briefly, it seems she heard my goodbye.

Well, anyway. Thinking that I wouldn’t have to deal with Daina anymore made my body relax for no reason.

“Dobby is free!”

To soothe my body and mind, which were tired from caring for a full-grown adult, I ran straight home and literally rolled around any way I wanted.

There was only one thing I had overlooked.

–Ding-dong.

[The teacher is looking for you, Ms. Lua.]

“…Eh.”

The fact that classes with Odd, which I had completely forgotten about at some point, would soon begin again.

Only then did I try to hold my breath and pretend there was no one at home, but…

[‘I’ll end as late as you’re late.’ That’s the message he asked me to relay.]

Even that had to be abandoned shortly after, due to the harsh teacher who was no less uncompromising than Tana in certain aspects.

…Suddenly, I missed Daina.