Chapter 40 –
Vicarious Satisfaction

If I had been raised by the person who killed my parents, what would it feel like?

I might just vomit.

I’d deny your existence, and feel humiliated by the fact that I was raised by those hands.

Regardless of how long they took care of me, there was no way I could forgive them for killing the parents who were related to me by blood.

It was the feeling of denying my entire existence.

Hana’s spirit would probably not be able to handle it, so she might just implode.

I made up my mind to bury what I heard from Shin Sihwa until the day I die. 

If Hana catches wind of this truth…

Wouldn’t she walk down the villain’s path again like she did in V. AGE?

Since I got the same inkling, this truth must be concealed from her at all costs.

Shin Sihwa said to me with a serious expression, “I do not want that child to be involved with the Black Dawn any longer. That’s… That’s…outrageous, is it not…”

Was it because she saw at a young age how much her parents suffered from the incident?

It seemed like Hana’s involvement with the Black Dawn had been lingering on a corner of Sihwa’s mind.

The gloomy atmosphere remained.

The only thing that could ease up the mood was the passing time.

 ***

After some time had passed, and we sorted our thoughts, Shin Sihwa let out a sigh of relief.

“Huu…”

“Have you calmed down a bit?”

“Yes… I apologize for showing you this side of me. Sijoon. It hasn’t been long since you returned, but I feel like I’ve put a big responsibility on your shoulders…”

“Haha…”

I just let out a laugh at her words of concern.

Hana’s past was a huge pressure on me, but she had already been on my shoulders.

“I have a bigger responsibility, so it’s okay…”

How to make her study.

That was the bigger responsibility for me.

 “Ahh… Yes… Really?”

Ms. Sihwa gave a sheepish smile as she replied to me.

Come to think of it…

How do I clear up the misunderstanding about my life expectancy…?

She misunderstood even more, believing that I made contact with the Black Dawn in order to treat my illness.

The place where I met Han Yoowol was the prohibited zone, The Back Alley.

If I said I met her by chance when I went to find medication there, the aftermath which would ensue would be too great.

“S-Sijoon… D-Did you say…. The Back Alley? Student Han Sijoon. You are expelled. I’m disappointed in you.”

The Back Alley was one of the three prohibited zones in Korea.

Instead of getting caught for entering there, it’d be much better to say that I met the Black Dawn to cure my terminal-ill disease.

Sometimes, lying was the correct answer.

Let’s just go with my limited years in life…

My lifespan ran out anyway if I didn’t get girls.

I kept my mouth closed and let Shin Sihwa’s delusions run free.

Not knowing what I was thinking, she started asking me about my health.

“Han Sijoon… So, have you found a way to cure it…?”

“It’s not working out too well…”

“Ah…”

When she heard that, she let out a sigh.

Perhaps she was sympathetic or empathetic to everyone’s emotions, it seemed like she had a big heart.

Whether she felt sad I didn’t have many years left in me, she offered a helping hand.

“If I-I…can help you with anything, do not hesitate to ask! Since I am your teacher, Sijoon!”

“H-Help…?”

She’d provide help?

I don’t think she meant she’d kiss me.

Unfortunately, if the person I kissed did not have feelings of love for me, they would not be qualified and it would have no effect whatsoever.

In a regretful tone, I said to her, “There isn’t particularly anything you can help me with, Teacher…”

“Is your condition that severe…? To the point you don’t need my help…?”

“No, it’s not that…”

”A boy with limited years in his life… The girl who doesn’t know… A childhood friend whose relationship is like that… Ahh… How unfortunate…”

I didn’t know why, but once Ms. Sihwa’s delusional switch turned on, she apparently couldn’t see her surroundings, and she wasn’t hearing anything I was saying.

She probably possessed a perfect brain for delusions.

Such a thought crossed my mind.

After some time passed, Shin Sihwa’s delusions ended, then she immediately raised an offer with a spark in her eye.

“Sijoon, by any chance, have you thought about seeing a doctor once? There’s an A-Rank among my colleagues! That friend is a healer, so perhaps they could be of help to you!”

“I…I’m fine.”

“Why? How come?! Do you not wish to live long? Do you not want to see your childhood friend more?”

She then got up from her chair and shoved her face close to mine.

From the way I saw it, it seemed Shin Sihwa was very interested in our childhood relationship.

Should I say it was like she was watching her own romance drama?

I could guess that she, as a third-party, felt sorry for me who didn’t have much time left to live, while she watched the childhood friends’ unripe relationship.

She wouldn’t be this invested otherwise.

”You’re going to get into a relationship before you die, right…?! Will you not date Hayeon? It’s only natural for childhood friends to date, is it not…?!”

T-Teacher… Please. Please calm down.”

“Student relationships are the most interesting topics for unmarried teachers like me!! Please hurry and answer! When will you date her?”

Was this how a drama’s lead actor felt when they were asked questions by someone passing by on the streets?

Even though Shin Sihwa, who was approaching 30, had a clean-cut appearance, I could tell why she couldn’t get married.

“Will a childhood friend not work? Do you prefer Hana more?! Is Hayeon not to your liking?!”

The barrage of questions.

She got closer and closer to me, at this rate, I wondered if she might just cause the desk to fall over.

If I get any more questions, it’d be faster for the desk to topple over.

I tried to change the subject immediately.

“T-Then… Later. I’ll get a check-up later. If you could ask the healer for me, I’d appreciate it…”

“That’s right, Sijoon! You should see a doctor, and live even longer. Next time, don’t go asking villains about things like a cure method, okay? I know you’re in a rush, but those goons will never listen to your request. They are bad thugs who find pleasure in killing people.”

“Yes, I understand. I really do.”

So stop with any more questions.

The questions she was asking were like her watching a drama and asking “Why is he acting like that in that situation?” 

I couldn’t answer her at all.

Counseling session ended here.

She might’ve grasped that things were finished, so she bid me farewell with a regretful tone.

“It’s unfortunate, Sijoon. If only lunch time was a little bit longer, we could’ve spent the time more wisely…”

“Haha… Yes. Teacher, it really is unfortunate.” 

With a stiff tone, I let out the most regretful voice.

And that was how I got up, greeted her goodbye, then opened the door.

Creak.

Shut.

The dull sound of the door closing. 

Phew, we’re finally done.

The long yet short counseling session was over.

Just when I was about to make use of my remaining time…

I heard a familiar voice on the side.

“Han Sijoon.”

“Na Yoona…?”

Why was she here?

The granddaughter of the NAVI Family, Na Yoona.

When I came out of the room, the person whom I had not seen for a while, welcomed me.

She spoke in her usual stiff tone.

“Congrats. You came back alive.”

“Of course, I’m alive. Did you believe I was dead?”

“No. That’s not it… It’s just that you might be better off dead by the villains who kidnapped you.”

Why the negativity all of a sudden?

I barely made it out alive from the villain’s den.

To say I was better off dead for a friend’ sake…

When I felt a little hurt at that moment…

Yoona began to explain, making me understand why it might’ve been better for me to die.

“Because of you, NAVI corporation stocks plummeted. There was a loophole in the security system and sales dropped. You caused huge trouble.”

“Why is that my fault? The Black Dawn’s to blame.”

”Our corporation thinks differently. They’re just venting for no reason. It’ll be best for you to be cautious.”

Since they couldn’t mess with the Black Dawn, they’re going to mess with me, was that it?

Although she spoke in a stiff manner, Yoona was worried for me on the inside. It seemed she was here to deliver a warning.

I was still Na Yoona’s first friend.

How is Hana and Yoona’s relationship?

All of a sudden, the thought crossed my mind. I could guess that the two would make the worst combination ever.  

100% logic with 100% no logic.

But no matter how much I thought about it, the one with the bigger impact would be Yoona.

“Anyway, you came because you were worried, right? Thanks. It’s also been a while since I last saw you, so it’s nice seeing you again.”

“What are you saying? Anyway, I’ll try to block whatever I can on my end. Since we’re friends. Take care.”

Ash blonde hair.

Her long hair was tied up with a butterfly-shaped pin.

Perhaps she was embarrassed, she immediately turned around and went towards the direction she was headed.

Na Yoona… It’ll be better to not do it with her.

I had considered kissing her, but there were too many things to lose from doing it with her.

In V. AGE, when Yoona’s affection level reached more than 80%, that was the turning point in Yoona’s route.

The content itself was notorious for its high difficulty.

With the ways things currently are, it may be faster for me to die than for me to date her.

Yoona was someone who had to carry on the giant corporation, NAVI.

In order to make her the perfect figure for the job, the corporate individuals could do away with the hindrances around her.

For the time being, Yoona is on hold for my life extension plan.

Rather than gaining returns, the risk was too great.

Right now, in my current state, saving Yoona was the answer.

I had no plans on stunting our progress by needlessly getting into a relationship with her.

That probably goes for Yoona too.

It was nearly impossible to input love into that robot-like emotion system of hers.

Did she even know of the word, love, in the first place?

It was dubious.

“More importantly, to be pin-pointed by NAVI…”

Regardless, it was only natural for me to be pin-pointed by NAVI as the episodes continued.

It was a matter of timing.

It wasn’t that big of a deal for me.

I was just going to walk forward on the episodes that were already determined.