Chapter 4. Escape and Service (12)

Before discussing the details further, Ria and I went up to the building’s rooftop.

The association building served as both offices and a resting place. Although it wasn’t a massive, sprawling building, it had resting areas and a cafeteria inside.

Furthermore, the rooftop wasn’t a desolate space with just air conditioner units or ventilation fans; it had the atmosphere of a small, well-maintained garden.

Was magic used for this?

Gloria seemed to want to have more practical conversations with Ria’s uncle, Kim Hyun-gang, and it was a relief that Lee Si-yoon and Han Yu-ri had gone back to the training grounds. Well, even if Gloria was present, it seemed unlikely anything would happen, given the entire association’s atmosphere was buzzing because of me.

It was like… an idol… no, if I had to compare, it was more like citizens greeting a highly respected politician.

I’m not going to get involved in politics, but this could lead to unnecessary misunderstandings if not handled carefully. I need to be cautious.

Whoosh, a slightly cold breeze swept over us.

Shivering slightly, I thought that the green plants in this garden must have been grown with magic. It was indeed the season for new sprouts, but they shouldn’t have been growing this lushly.

Rustle, rustle, I walked on the grass to the rooftop railing and leaned against it.

“It’s nice here,”

I muttered, not to anyone in particular.

It was still in the middle of the city, and the rooftop of the building was a bit too low to be called an observation deck, but the road spread out in front was so wide, and there was a rather large park next to it, so the view was wide open.

It was a weekday afternoon, so the atmosphere was a bit quiet, but that itself was a wonderful atmosphere. Rather, the atmosphere of the people walking below was very relaxed.

Hunters, well, they usually fight for money. However, it’s probably not entirely untrue that they fight because they want to see sights like this below.

In the middle of the park stood a large black stone monument. It wasn’t clearly visible from here, but the names densely written on it were the names of the victims of the disaster that occurred here.

At first glance, the monument seemed so tall that it might fall over if pushed with force, but in reality, it was deeply embedded in the ground. Moreover, it was sturdily reinforced on the sides, so I heard it wouldn’t budge even in a rather large earthquake.

The fact that the monument was built so sturdily was also a pledge not to let such a thing happen again. A pledge to thoroughly guard and respond immediately before such a catastrophe occurs.

In the most visible spot from that monument, the most comfortable resting space of this building was created. Somehow, I felt it wasn’t just a coincidence.

“…….”

And, I saw people getting hurt and dying to keep such a pledge.

“Here.”

Ria handed me a canned drink.

“Thank you.”

When I took it, it was a warm drink. She’s so perceptive.

It wasn’t unbearably cold, but my hands were a little chilly, so I didn’t drink it right away.

We leaned against the railing side by side.

There were no other hunters in this rooftop garden. Did they clear the space after hearing we were coming up? If so, I feel a little sorry.

The sound of opening a can lid came from next to me.

Ria took a sip of warm cocoa. She had a thoughtful expression.

It was an expression I often saw on Ria, but somehow today’s expression made me think it was because Ria was looking at me.

It’s not my power. I’ve always thought that the power isn’t mine, so there’s nothing for me to boast about.

My feelings haven’t changed even now. To be honest, while I was pleased to receive praise, I also felt a little uncomfortable. It felt like I was receiving praise that someone else should have received.

Somehow, I didn’t want to reveal such thoughts in front of Ria. Is it childishness? It might be because we’ve spent so much time bickering while sharing the same room.

At least, she’s the person I’ve had the most conversations with since coming to this world.

“Why?”

To lighten the mood a bit, I deliberately said something.

Closing my eyes, chest pushed forward,

“Can you finally see that I’m a great person?”

……There are many points to refute this. Even in front of Ria, I’ve said several times that the power isn’t mine, so I won’t use it for myself.

I expected an immediate objection-

However, Ria was lost in thought without saying anything.

“…….”

I looked at Ria, pouting my lips, and then I couldn’t quite poke her side…

……So, this is unavoidable.

I’ve lived as a woman for quite a long time, and I’ve adapted accordingly. Now, I’m confident I can just accept it if another woman changes clothes in front of me. Though I wouldn’t be able to look directly at them.

However, there is one part that hasn’t changed at all.

I… how should I put it, I like women.

That hasn’t changed easily. I probably can’t love men.

But, even so, I can’t just go around talking about such things in this world.

Although this period can be considered the near future even from a modern perspective, it’s not much different from reality when it comes to sexual matters.

Besides, I live in a convent.

Even in the religion of this world, such things are largely taboo. Especially within a convent. If we’re not careful with each other, it’s obvious things will get incredibly awkward.

If only Ria had shown even a little bit of that atmosphere properly in the original novel, I might have been less hesitant. But in the original novel, Ria liked Lee Si-yoon.

Aside from wanting to interfere, I already know Ria’s sexual orientation.

Revealing such things between same-sex individuals can ruin the relationship. Even if you reveal it to the opposite sex, you can think of it as ‘liking me’ separately, but people naturally become more exclusive towards things they are not accustomed to.

The thought that women often have, ‘What if she likes me?’ That can be applied to that entire inclination.

……Ironically, the reason Ria can poke my ribs, hold my hands or wrists, or stroke my hair is because Ria doesn’t consciously think of me sexually.

Conversely, I couldn’t look at Ria… with such an indifferent gaze.

“…….”

In the end, I just folded my fingers back.

Yes. I was a coward.

What could I do? I couldn’t even have a proper relationship in my past life.

As someone who couldn’t even have a proper conversation with female classmates, seniors, or juniors in college, it’s a bit burdensome to act that way towards someone with such attractive looks, even if we’re roommates and have become somewhat close.

Just as I was about to sigh deeply, Ria opened her mouth.

“Do I… treat you too casually?”

“What are you talking about?”

Fortunately, Ria’s words were so foolish that they blew away all my deep contemplation in one go.

“No, well, you see.”

Ria, perhaps feeling attacked by my utterly bewildered reaction, said while rolling her eyes.

“If you’ve saved so many people, you can be called a hero just for that. But you don’t openly show off, and, well, in a way, aren’t you a better fit for the word ‘hero’? So, aren’t I treating you too casually… Why are you like that?”

“Ugh.”

It feels good to be praised. And if it’s from a beauty like Ria, I can accept being petted on the head.

But being praised so openly like this makes me cringe. Is she doing it on purpose?

“What are you talking about now? Who pokes someone’s ribs with their finger and calls them a hero?”

“No, that…”

Ria tried to say something, then paused in thought, and slightly bowed her head.

“Sorry…”

And she said that in a voice barely above a whisper.

Do you know? No matter how much a person tries to look at the inner self, that damned prejudice about appearance doesn’t disappear easily.

Ria’s appearance, as I see it, is truly that of a heroine, so I was speechless in return.

I suddenly felt a surge of irritation.

Lee Si-yoon managed to make this girl fall for him? To the point of having their ‘first kiss’?

Given the nature of Novelpia, there must have been R-rated chapters too.

But I quickly shook off those thoughts. I felt that thinking about such things in this situation was inappropriate.

“Well, it’s not that I have no complaints.”

I opened my mouth.

“But don’t apologize that much. Are you trying to suffocate someone?”

“……Uh, no, I wasn’t trying to do that.”

“Don’t apologize again, okay? What’s wrong? Did you eat something bad today?”

“No, thinking about it again.”

Feeling a bit frustrated, I thrust my face towards Ria’s, then quickly pulled back. Wait, what was I thinking?

Ah, yes. That’s right.

“Let’s not forget our initial intention.”

“Initial intention?”

“The church is just my refuge, right? I’m only staying until the stalker issue is resolved. I need to escape before everything is decided, delaying things like being a Saint as much as possible.”

“Ah, yeah.”

Ria looked like she was realizing something at my words, but I thought it was better that way.

Yes. It’s a refuge. The church.

When I came out, even if I felt good receiving praise like this, I knew I would soon feel suffocated.

To me, it might just be volunteer work that I started with peace of mind, but at some point, for someone else, it becomes… their only salvation, and that’s something I can’t handle.

“While I’m at the church, I’ll do various volunteer work, but once I escape, I plan to live properly for myself. Because for an atheist, there’s only one life.”

“Is that so…”

Towards Ria, who replied with a slightly deflated tone, I pointed my finger accusingly.

“So, once we start cooperating, let’s cooperate properly until the end. Got it? Don’t have any strange thoughts. Good heavens, a hero? Does anyone want to make a Saint?”

“Huh.”

Ria let out a sound of bewilderment for a moment-

“Ha, hahaha!”

Then, she burst into laughter, holding her stomach.

“What is it? Why are you laughing? Is what I said funny?”

“Huh? No, no, it’s just that this situation is funny.”

Fuu, Ria took a long breath-

And placed her hand on my head.

Then she gently stroked it.

“Yes, yes, that’s how Anna is.”

“What exactly does ‘that’s how Anna is’ mean?”

“Well, in many ways.”

Ria lowered her hand again.

Seeing that, I didn’t like the fact that I felt a little disappointed.

It was only then that I realized I hadn’t opened the can I was holding, so I opened it.

Ria waited patiently until I finished drinking the cocoa.

From her attitude, the distress from a moment ago wasn’t felt much.

I thought that was fortunate.