Chapter 4: Analyzing Future Voters’ Preferences

Park Seokji.

A man in his sixties.

A solid four-term incumbent in his district, often called a “local daimyo” among political insiders.

However, his nickname is “Seok Bakji.” Also known as “Side Dish Man” or “Side Dish Brother.”

Not very flattering.

The reason is simple.

“Because he only ever plays the role of a side dish.”

He’s timid.

In front of someone more powerful, he acts meekly, like a fly.

But in front of someone he thinks he can push around, he straightens his back and shoves his belly out.

In simple terms:
“The classic strong-against-the-weak, weak-against-the-strong.”

Despite that, he isn’t a bad person.

He has a foul temper and is a bit rough around the edges, but he possesses at least a minimum sense of loyalty.

Politically, he’s actually a rather valuable figure.

If he had the courage to stand up to those above him, he might have risen to the ranks of presidential candidates.

“Ha-ha. You’re really cute, you know that? You’re so adorable all dressed up! You’re a hundred times better than Kang Jiwoo! Wouldn’t you like to come and sit with Grandpa?”

With a broad, grinning face, Park Seokji approached.

To me, having been turned into less than half the height of an adult man, it felt like a scene straight out of a horror movie.

“N-No, thank you…”

“How about some ice cream, hmm?”

Is he going to ask for a kiss next?

I was genuinely scared and quickly hid behind Han Seoyoung.

Han Seoyoung summarized the meeting based on Bong Soohee’s instructions.

“Then, as Director Bong planned, let’s continue with this strategy.”

Once Bong Soohee’s presentation ended, the calls to replace Park Seokji died down completely.

I can’t even begin to describe the relief I felt.

Park Seokji as a presidential candidate?

If he got even 1% in the polls, that’d be considered a miracle.

They don’t call him a “daimyo” for nothing; people like him lose all their power outside their domain.

“We’ll emphasize cuteness as much as possible to grab attention. With only three days until the press conference, we need to use every media outlet to go all out.”

Bong Soohee’s strategy was simple.

Announce the press conference and create as much buzz as possible.

Swallow up the issue to draw everyone’s attention, then captivate the public with an extreme display of cuteness during the press conference.

The key is in the speech.

To prove that I’m not just cute, but also capable of governing and holding a sound political philosophy.
At least, that’s the goal.

“Right. But if the response is still bad after the press conference, we’ll replace the candidate.”
“…Alright.”

If the response was still negative after three days, they would replace me with Congressman Park Seokji.
I couldn’t just sit back and wait.
I tugged on Bong Soohee’s sleeve.
“Can I post a picture on Stargram?”

Posting my transformed self as a little kid on my account should generate a lot of buzz.
I’d drop a hint again on the second day, when the initial buzz starts to wane.

Bong Soohee looked at me intently and then responded.
“Only if you let me give you a hug.”
“Hug me?”

Why is she being so clingy?

Bong Soohee isn’t normally like this.

When I didn’t respond, she hugged me unceremoniously.

I was powerless to resist in the body of a fragile young girl.

“Ah, you smell like a baby. It feels so nice.”

During college, I once won a major competition with Bong Soohee.
Even back then, she didn’t attend the awards ceremony because she found it bothersome, let alone hug me out of excitement.
It seems even a fox-like person like her is helpless in front of cuteness.

Cute things really are overpowered.

“D-Director Bong? What are you doing?! Let go of me!”
“You’re cute.”
“As cute as you may find me, I’m still Candidate Kang Jiwoo!”
“Why so dramatic?”
“Regardless, you need to stop!”

Han Seoyoung separated us.
Then, other party members approached.
“Can I get a hug too?”
“Just let me touch your cheek once.”
“My goodness. Up close, your skin looks even better!”
“We can’t allow it. The candidate’s absolute stability is critical.”

Han Seoyoung lifted me up and carried me out of the meeting room.

“Manager Han! Are you trying to keep all the fun to yourself?”
“I didn’t think you’d be so stingy!”

Being cute is a more bothersome job than I expected…
It’s a different kind of exhaustion from being a well-known politician.

Han Seoyoung put me in the car and headed back to the office.
Even though I was tired enough to yawn, I had work to do.

“I’ll write the speech for the press conference.”
“I can do it myself.”
“Are you serious? You’ve been… a bit unfocused lately, haven’t you?”
“I can still do it……”

She had a tone that screamed disbelief.
Han Seoyoung! How dare you doubt me?!
‘I made it this far on the power of my words and writing alone.’

I’d never once handed over my speechwriting to someone else.
I believed that if I expressed my genuine thoughts, the public would understand.
And it actually worked.
Writing all my speeches was something I took pride in.
Even if my intelligence and focus had waned, if I was given enough time, I could overcome it.

“Alright then, I’ll leave it to you.”
Of course you should trust me.
I, Kang Jiwoo, am still going strong.

One day had passed since the TS announcement.
The news was still buzzing with my story.
Meanwhile, the approval ratings were released.

Candidate Kang Jiwoo’s approval rating has risen to over 11%.

What? I didn’t do anything, and my approval rating went up?
It shattered the 10% barrier I couldn’t break through and soared.

“Heheh.”

I couldn’t help but laugh.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy.
But it was a bit bittersweet.
“It’s like saying being cute is more effective than all the hard work I’ve put in.”

Maybe it was a bit of an existential crisis.
No, it’s just a self-indulgent thought.
Either way, absorbing all this attention and gaining approval rating was a good thing.

Curious to see how the media was analyzing this phenomenon, I watched a bit more.

[There was a slight decline among those in their 30s and older, but support among men in their 20s has surged. It appears that Candidate Kang Jiwoo’s image has become somewhat of a ‘meme’ among the younger generation.]

[It’s certainly heating up the internet. But what does this ‘Nuoooooong~’ thing mean?]

[It’s a popular phrase from an anime, used as an exclamation when one feels good. Think of it like saying ‘thumbs up.’]

[I see. So, like ‘I’m feeling Nuoooooong~ today,’ right?]

[Exactly. You’ve got it. ‘I’m feeling Nuoooooong~ myself!’]

This is getting out of hand.
Some innocent elder must’ve seen a joke post or something.
But that might actually be better.
How would they explain something like ‘kekkolinongk’?

Click.

I turned off the TV and sat back on the chair.
Letting my legs dangle, I started typing away at the keyboard to prepare the speech for the press conference in two days.

“Hell-o…. ev-er-y-one….”

My typing speed was excruciatingly slow.
My fingers were not at all developed for typing.
In the end, I had to type each letter painstakingly, holding back tears.

“Hmmm.
The words aren’t coming out right.”

What’s the issue?

I slowly retraced my thoughts.

“I don’t have a blueprint.”

To write cohesively, you need a blueprint, a sort of outline.
With my original body, I didn’t even need to try; that outline was always in my head.
I was someone who wanted to change the political landscape, so I always had something to say.
Before I slept, during short breaks, even in my dreams, I spent time organizing my thoughts.
But now?

“My brain just doesn’t work.”

It felt like standing in the middle of an alien civilization with a beginner’s guide in hand.

‘Wow! Look at all these TV channels!’
‘There’s an ant crawling on the floor! I bet there’s an ant kingdom around here!’
‘A folding laptop! Does it fold the other way too…?’

Everything around me was a distraction.
So when I tried to sit still and think, I would fidget just like this.

I lacked focus.
So, I just had to find a way to concentrate.

I took my hands off the keyboard and picked up a pen and paper.
‘Let’s stimulate my brain by writing

by hand.’

Writing by hand would sometimes spark ideas.
I decided to jot down everything that came to mind.

Greeting.
Apology.
Status update.
Declaration of candidacy continuation.
Gratitude for the rebound in approval ratings.

I kept repeating the process of writing and sketching.

“Haaaaam…”

Did I use my brain too much?
I feel sleepy.
I’ll take a break and start again.

Click.

I grabbed a mouse that was too big for my hand and opened YouTube.
One thumbnail that caught my eye was “Taniping.”

Apparently, this is super popular among kids.
Of course, I wasn’t interested.
The designs and storyline would probably be too childish for an adult.

Yet somehow, my fingers slipped, and I accidentally clicked the video.

Click.

And then the video began to play.

“I…”

My body suddenly froze.
My heart skipped a beat, like I’d developed arrhythmia.
It felt like breathing in toxic gas during chemical warfare training.

After a few seconds, I realized the reason.

I had fallen victim to love.

“Hello? I’m Huchuping, the fairy of lovechu~!”

“Gasp.”

Huchuping.
A two-head-tall pink fairy.
It was clear why this seemingly childish character was so popular.

First off, the design was perfect.
Large eyes.
A soft, marshmallow-like body.
Tiny, adorable limbs, like a cute rice cake.
And… pink!

That strawberry-milk pink awoke something inside me!

“H-Hut… Huchuping…!”

In an instant, I was sucked into Taniping.
I couldn’t remember how many videos I watched or how much time passed.
I was just repeating the cycle of watching and imitating, as if hypnotized.

“Her voice is so cute… chu.”

The fun part of Taniping was the unique endings they used.
Each character had a cute way of speaking at the end of sentences.
Huchuping said “chu.”
Chichiping said “chichi.”
And these adorable phrases were brought to life by charming voice actors.

“I’m Jiwooping! And I’m gonna be presidentchu!”

I even began pretending to be a Taniping myself.

A faint awareness that I was acting childish surfaced, but it quickly faded.
Anyway, there was no one else in the office, right?
It’s not like I’m doing anything bad.
I’m just embracing my body’s instincts. Isn’t that right?

“Jiwooping will become the presidentchu~”

Knock knock.

“Eek!”

Someone knocked on the door.
My face flushed with embarrassment.

Had I really been playing around, acting like Taniping?
Am I out of my mind?!

“Candidate. It’s Han Seoyoung. I’m coming in.”
“Just… w-wait a momentchu…!”

Wait a momentchu, my gosh!
I need to turn off this video immediately!
If I’m caught, they’ll think I’m some kind of Taniping fanatic!
I was only analyzing this popular children’s show to understand the preferences of future voters!!
I swear, that’s all it was!!!