Chapter 4

What a perfect day to die.

The rain pours down like mad, as if a hole has been punched through the sky, and it’s truly beautiful. If I open the window here, and just like that, whoosh, thud.

“Ah, I can’t even die because it’s too cramped!”

I lay down on the bare floor in frustration. The old wooden floor screamed as if it was about to collapse. As the cold from the floor seeped into my back, my mind slowly regained its composure.

“…After all, what kind of royal road could an extra like me enjoy? It’s like crawling up from the bottom of a cesspool.”

I got up and leaned against the bed. Then I looked at the status window again.

[Max Celtrine]

Race: Human

Occupation: Student

Gender: Male

Title: The Scoundrel of the Celtrine Family (Significant Charm Decrease)

Stats: Strength E-, Magic E, Agility E-, Stamina E-, Charm F-

Skills: Weaponry (Swordsmanship E-, Archery F+), Magic (Wind D-)

Traits: Materialism, Wastefulness, Lust, Lowgrade Wind Affinity

Looking at it again, I was at a loss for words. Is there such trash in the world? It’s so bad that it wouldn’t be strange to have a showdown with a passing villager A and lose. I need a drink. The stress of looking at the status window sober is too much, so I looked for alcohol. If I had any, I would have gulped it down.

But what can I do?

There’s none.

I had to look at the status window again, feeling like I was spitting blood.

And then,

“Do I really have to analyze this?”

I shook my head in disbelief.

Just looking at it feels like my eyes are rotting. But there’s no choice. To find a way to attach a respirator to this insane character, I have to analyze it down to the nano level.

“Let’s see…”

Name, Max Celtrine.

No problem there.

Human, student, male… up to here, there’s no problem.

“Ugh, just look at the title.”

The proud legacy of that bastard Max, the Scoundrel of the Celtrine Family.

The worst trash title that significantly lowers charm.

There’s no answer to this, so I clicked my tongue and moved on.

“E, E, E, E, E… You’ve carefully set up a field of E’s.”

A crazy festival of E’s.

And it’s not just E.

Most of them are E-.

This infamous game classified stats with letters instead of numbers to increase the difficulty, preventing users from knowing the detailed stats. The annoying part is that even within the same grade, the spectrum can be as different as heaven and earth. If you think of it in numbers, it means lumping together a wide range like 100_150 as C.

So, in this game, it was common to challenge someone thinking they were the same grade, only to end up with a ridiculous game over. The same grade is one thing, but a lower grade? No explanation needed.

“It’s unnecessarily detailed.”

I muttered as I discovered something. All physical abilities related to strength or stamina are E. On the other hand, magic, which has little to do with the body, is a slightly better E. It’s as if the body, ruined by drinking and lust, was verified.

And then,

“…Are you a psychopath?”

Charm F-.

Charm is an ability that has a wide impact on human relationships and combat with party members. In this game, where human relationships are very important, such charm is a death sentence. It means you can’t get any help from your companions when you need it. No, it’s questionable whether there’s even anyone worthy of being called a companion.

“I have to raise this no matter what.”

I muttered.

Because I knew too well that leaving charm like this would lead straight to a bad ending.

But that wasn’t the only problem.

The ruined physical abilities and subpar magic were also issues.

‘I’ll abandon one side.’

I knew it.

Here, I need to choose and focus. Trying to get everything is a shortcut to failure. Just thinking about it, it requires at least twice the effort and time. I don’t have the time or ability for that.

To avoid becoming a mediocre hybrid weakling in both physical and magic, I had to coldly cut off one side.

‘Low Grade Wind Affinity.’

A positive trait that somewhat increases affinity for the wind element. Thanks to that, the wind magic grade boasts the highest grade at D. Of course, it’s still below average. But still, I have to make use of that…

“No, wait.”

I, who was about to choose magic, narrowed my eyes and fell into thought again. Because my instincts as a hardcore gamer were telling me. To look at the other traits before making a decision.

“Yeah, it’s better to be sure about everything.”

Materialism, Wastefulness, Lust. At first glance, they’re 99.9% likely to be negative trash traits, but there’s a 0.1% chance of what if. It’s better to check and confirm rather than making a hasty judgment.

With that conclusion, I looked at the trait column.

[Materialism]

Materialism is the most perfect theory in a world proven by science.

Money rules the world.

People who like materialism sympathize with you.

People who dislike materialism shun you.

Trash.

In this game, the strong ones worth forming relationships with are often indifferent to materialism, while mediocre people are obsessed with money.

In short, a trash trait that only lowers favorability with truly necessary people.

I shook my head and moved on.

What?

[Wastefulness]

If you don’t waste money even for a day, thorns grow in your mouth.

Let’s collect, luxury.

Your wallet scatters money everywhere.

When you spend, 20% of the expenditure evaporates.

(TLN: dude getting taxed by the system)

20% evaporates every time you spend?

It’s like scattering several times the amount of bank interest into thin air every time you spend money.

Another nonrecyclable trash trait.

It’s a disaster because Max Celtrine is rich, but if the protagonist had such a trait, I guarantee they could never clear the game even after a million tries.

“…It’s getting more and more ridiculous.”

I felt strongly that it was a waste of time, but I checked the last trait anyway.

[Lust]

The eternal truth, heroes are lustful.

One of the qualities of a hero.

A hero must receive the love of many women.

Your heroism increases in proportion to the number of women who have affection for you.

The higher the fame of the women who have affection for you, the greater your heroism becomes.

The current number of women who have affection for you: 0. Fame: 0.

“Huh?”

For the first time, a look of puzzlement crossed my face.

A trait that conditionally increases something, contrary to the feeling of the word lust. An unconditionally positive trait.

But.

‘Heroism?’

It’s a stat I’ve never heard of.

I could assert.

Such a stat does not exist in this game. But even as I looked at the trait window with wide eyes, it was clearly written there.

It says heroism increases, So what does that mean?

‘Could it be a hidden stat?’

Hidden stat.

A hidden value that exists in roleplaying games. When playing games, there are characters that seem to have similar abilities but are strangely powerful.

In such cases, it’s highly likely due to adjustments made by hidden stats set by the developers. Of course, hidden stats vary greatly.

From those that can significantly affect a character’s performance to those so minor they’re barely noticeable.

Then what about this heroism stat?

“Heroism. Heroism. Hero.”

I murmured softly and realized that I had found the answer.

Hero.

This game doesn’t use the word ‘hero’ lightly.

It’s a word with weight, and it also refers to what the protagonist ultimately needs to become.

That’s why the game’s title is “There’s No Happy Ending for the Hero.”

‘It’s definitely a good thing. A very good thing.’

The conclusion is clear. But then, of course, the inevitable question arises.

Why would they give such an impressive hidden stat boosting trait to a mere extra?

Does that make any sense?

“It doesn’t make sense.”

The logical conclusion. So, is this heroism just a trivial hidden stat? No, it can’t be. They don’t use the word ‘hero’ just anywhere, right?

An endless loop.

I racked my brain to break out of this infinite cycle.

Then I found a phrase: One of the qualities of a hero.

One of the qualities.

That means there’s more than one quality of a hero. It’s obvious. Just thinking about it, righteousness, fairness, generosity, integrity, goodness, boldness, bravery, wisdom… There are so many.

Positive qualities that make you feel like a hero just by hearing them. Compared to lust? There’s a saying heroes are lustful, but it’s a word that seems to lower the quality when attached to a hero.

“I get it. I understand.”

It seems they’ve put the blatantly positive qualities into the traits of important characters, and traits like lust, which seem less dignified, were playfully implanted into womanizing extras. It’s called an Easter egg in technical terms.

The conclusion is reached, but nothing really changes. Even if it’s trash, I should bow down and gratefully accept the one heroic trait given to an extra like me.

Now I feel like I’m starting to see a way to survive.

“Alright. It’s decided then.”

It’s clear what I have to give up between physical and magic. I’ll give up magic. Heroes must always carry a sword. So, it’s physical power Iam going with.

Do heroes always have to use swords?

Of course not. But that’s what I think.

Why?

Because the protagonist on the game’s cover is holding a sword.

Everyone said it was just a meaningless picture. The protagonist’s swordsmanship talent is just average. In fact, the talent for magic, no, all talents were just average.

The protagonist was a character that made you curse no matter which way you developed them, even though they were a hexagon.

So the established theory was just to develop them however you wanted. But is that really the case?

I didn’t think the developers of this frustrating game made anything meaningless. So no matter how I played or what I tried, the main thing was always the sword.

“That’s the way to go.”

Once the path is chosen, there’s no wavering. The problem is.

“It’s annoyingly difficult to meet the conditions.”

Win the hearts of women? As if that’s easy.

I know very well because it’s a game where human relationships are important, and I’ve tried hard to befriend both men and women.

It’s difficult.

Extremely difficult.

Just when you think you’re getting along, a slip of the tongue or a seemingly insignificant action can ruin everything.

It’s already this hard just to befriend someone, let alone win their affection? No need to say more.

“And with this bastard’s body…”

I shook my head.

If it were the protagonist, there would certainly be a few heroines with an easy difficulty level to conquer. For example, the protagonist’s childhood friend. With a setting of secretly having a crush from the beginning, you can win her over even with clumsy play.

I also remember the old maid professor from the magic department.

Not as easy as the childhood friend, but since she has a taste for tall, handsome younger men, it was easy to conquer her as the protagonist. But that’s from the protagonist’s perspective. For the charmless F- scoundrel problem child Max, that’s not applicable. Only the harsh reality lies ahead.

Anyway,

“Well, somehow it’ll work out.”

If it’s difficult either way, it’s better to have a positive mindset. That’s wisdom learned from life experience. And I have information.

Of course, I don’t know about all the women in the game, but I know enough about the important ones. At least I have that.

“Ugh.”

Thud!

I threw myself onto the old bed.

“… I’m terribly tired.”

Let’s forget everything and just sleep for today. Once the path is decided, all I can do is work hard.

But that effort must be smart. If just working hard made you strong, there would be no weak people in this world.

“Hmm, six days.”

Whether Max missed this place or the women, thanks to his leisurely departure, there were still six days left until the start of the second semester. I planned to make the most of those six days and work as smartly as possible.

“Hey.”

I called Dolph.

“Yes… Yes, young master.”

Dolph seemed anxious. Well, I would be too.

How anxious would you be if the person you serve suddenly decided to enter the dormitory or did something they don’t usually do? But I have to do something I don’t usually do.

“How much money do I have?”

“What…? What do you mean…?”

“Just what it sounds like. How much money do I have?

” managing money is something the young master does himself, how could I…”

Dolph, with anxious eyes rolling around in confusion.

“Right, that’s what I thought. So all the money here is mine.”

I said, shaking a luxury wallet made of crocodile skin.

It was definitely not a small amount of money. No, to others, it would be an eye popping amount.

There were 200 gold coins and a check worth 500 gold from the Rainers company, stamped with their seal.

But it wasn’t enough. For the money to pour into my growth…

“I need more money.”

“Ah, shall I escort you to the company as usual?”

“Hm? Why the company?”

“What? Why, why would you say that? Aren’t you going to the company to take out a loan…”

“I took out a loan from the company? Why?”

“What on earth are you talking about… You said you didn’t like asking for money from the lord because it felt like begging…”

“Wow, this son of a b*tch, taking out a loan? He’s going to ruin the house.”

I couldn’t help but curse.

“What are you talking about…!”

Dolph looked like he was about to faint. Feeling sorry for Dolph, I patted him on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry. I’m not taking out a loan.”

“Go to the magic tower right now and send a message to my father.”

“Yes… Yes… Just tell me what to say…”

“Tell him his son urgently needs money and to please send 100,000 gold.”

“h…hu…hu…hun…hundred thousand gold…?!”

Gurgle.

In the end, Dolph fainted.