Chapter 39: Fantasy in the middle of the night

“Wasn’t it really hot today? And yet we had an outdoor class—I’m telling you, our PE teacher’s a little nuts. You were sweating buckets too. I mean, passion is good and all, but sometimes he acts like a total pervert.”

The vivid scarlet sunset lit up the asphalt path with an unusual glow on the way home from school. I half-listened to Kang Seon-ah, who was chattering noisily just ahead of me.

Not that I was really paying attention—whatever she was saying was probably meaningless. Besides, my mind was too preoccupied to take anything else in.

“That’s not it! I just… really wanted to be friends with you!”

That vivid voice that had rung out in the dusty storage shed kept echoing in my ears. No matter how hard I tried to forget—plugging my ears, shaking it off—it kept circling my eardrums like a haunting hallucination.

“Friends,” huh. It’s a nice word. Even though that murderer completely distorted its meaning, I still think it’s a beautiful word. Before high school, I’d been excited about making new friends.

I really had the chance to make some. If only Kang Seon-ah hadn’t been there—or if only I hadn’t discovered the truth about her being a murderer—I might have continued enjoying our time together. Honestly, we were close friends once.

Yeah, we were friends.

Sometimes I even wish I could go back to when I didn’t know anything, when everything was still pure.

But the blood, the corpses, and the deaths—those horrific memories are carved too deep to erase.

After that day, we could never go back to being just friends. Even she must know that, yet she still tries to force our twisted bond back into place.

If I said I didn’t miss what we had, I’d be lying. Even now, when I consider her irredeemably evil, I find myself reminiscing whenever I’m near her. It’s absurd.

Maybe I still consider Kang Seon-ah my friend. Despite everything she’s done—murdering people close to me, taking everything away—if she were to apologize and sincerely repent, I might even forgive her. Because I’m an idiot. A hopeless, stupid fool.

From the first day of the school year until now, almost everything that’s happened has involved Kang Seon-ah in one way or another.

When I close my eyes, the memories of our time together bubble up like soap bubbles. It hasn’t even been that long, but it feels like nostalgia—like something from ages ago.

If I could, I’d go back. But it’s far too late now. We’ve come too far to turn back.

And yet, like a fool, I still cling to that useless sliver of hope.

“Oh, by the way, did you know? That Olive Young in front of the station is doing an event this weekend. Wanna go together—”

“Seon-ah.”

“Huh? What is it?”

A faint scent of shampoo tickles my nose. She turns around with a bright smile, like nothing’s changed.

Like she never killed our upperclassman. She looks so happy, as if this moment meant the world to her.

And somehow, that calms me.

“Sia?”

But then I remember what’s about to happen.

I stop walking, frozen like a statue, and Seon-ah approaches me with a concerned face.

She looks truly worried. Knowing that her concern is genuine only makes it more unbearable.

How did we end up like this? Was it just fate? Regret? I don’t know.

But before I could stop myself, my hands reached for her neck.

“Kuh!”

My palms slide around her pale neck.

As I press down on her throat, her face turns red, and she chokes out weak sounds. Her body jerks like an overinflated balloon about to pop.

So thin. So fragile. It’s hard to believe this neck belongs to someone who brutally murdered over twenty people.

I wonder why she’s not resisting—but at the same time, I realize something. It’s not that hard to kill someone.

All it takes is one more step.

“K-Khak!”

“I won’t say sorry. You’ve done too much to deserve that. But… I’ll follow you soon.”

Even if you hide all the evidence, you can’t evade the law after that many murders.

Someone must be protecting her—probably someone inside the police.

I can’t trust the authorities. If it were my older sister, she might be smart enough to stop her, but that’s why I can’t ask her. I have to do this myself.

If I kill her with my own hands, this all ends. No more victims. My family will be safe.

She won’t cling to me anymore. If I can just end it, everyone can be happy.

Maybe there’s a better way.

But I’m too tired to think it through.

I hate her so much. More than her disgusting touch, more than her controlling gaze, the feelings inside me are more overwhelming than anything.

I don’t want to hate her—but her sins are unforgivable.

In the end, I’m killing her because I’m exhausted. That’s all. People don’t need grand reasons to kill someone.

“Krrk!”

As I lift her by the neck, her body dangles beneath.

Her legs kick out, looking more pitiful than erotic—like a fish flopping on land.

My lips twitch upwards without meaning to, but my eyes start to water.

I look at her face as she’s dying—and then I see it. Despite the drool running down her mouth, despite everything…

“…Ha.”

She’s smiling. Like she’s enjoying this.

What am I doing?

“Ah—Ahhh!”

Suddenly, an overwhelming disgust, like dipping my hand in sewer sludge, crashes over me.

I release her neck and stumble back.

She falls, gasping and clutching her bruised throat. It’s so pitiful, I almost want to go to her. But I can’t. I did this. And yet I’m the one crying.

“Ugh, huuh…”

“Don’t cry, Sia.”

The giddy feeling is long gone. Now it’s just fear.

My fingers tremble as if possessed.

No matter how many times I tell myself she deserves to die, my hands won’t stop shaking.

She sits up and speaks gently—as if nothing happened—her voice slightly hoarse.

“Why, why?”

“Why? Because it’s you who tried to kill me. If anyone was going to do it, I’m glad it was you. It hurt, yeah—but I’m happy.”

She strokes my hair, like always.

“Even someone like me remembers the first face I killed. And I know you’d never forget. As long as you remember me that way forever, I’m happy.”

She’s rambling.

This monster who raped me and threatened to kill my loved ones is now looking at me like she’s kind and innocent again.

What the hell is she talking about?

My mind spins. I look up.

She’s smiling. Softly, warmly. Like my sister used to.

“Do you… really—”

“I love you, truly.”

She laughs hollowly, with no trace of madness. Just a twisted, sincere love.

The moment I see it in her eyes—just pure affection—I realize something.

No matter how much I hate her, I can’t kill her. I can’t stop her on my own.

I need someone else to do it. Someone with the strength to face her.

“But I… I want to help you, Sia.”

And just like that, someone else’s desperate voice floats to the surface of my memory.

I laugh bitterly.

Pathetic.