Chapter 38 : Broadcast looking for a real manager

Ayase’s Abyss Show

A notice for Ayase’s Abyss Show was posted on Ayase’s fan cafe.

Title: Guest for Episode 16 of Ayase’s Abyss Show~

Author: Ayase Mitsuko

Attached to the post was a photo.

The guest this time is none other than the devoted cultist VTuber, Lee Jia!

This Saturday, at 7 PM.

My little dumplings, make sure to tune in!

…Oh my god.

Where the hell did she even get this picture?

The photo Ayase uploaded for the Abyss Show Episode 16 poster was… well, hauntingly accurate.

The word cultist fits far too well.

Half-lidded, dazed eyes.

Flushed cheeks.

Hands clasped together in fervent prayer.

Even I had to admit—I looked like some lunatic completely consumed by religious fervor.

It’s not like my virtual avatar looked any different from my real self.

The resemblance was practically 100% identical, which only made this even more humiliating.

Honestly, if someone told me I had taken that picture myself with my phone, I might have believed it.

I scrolled down to see the comments.

Comments: 527

[Ka]

Legendary guest incoming?? It’s happening!!!!

[Ayase Funeral Services]

We will ensure a comfortable journey to the abyss.

[Just Her Existence is Abyss]

Isn’t she literally the abyss? LMAO

[Dopamine Overload]

My dopamine levels are already through the roof LOL

[Calling in Sick & Ordering Chicken]

Taking the day off and getting fried chicken for this.

Thankfully, the response was positive.

But then again, that was to be expected.

Ayase has always been lenient when it comes to mentioning other streamers, and her viewers—Aduungs—tend to be pretty friendly toward anyone who isn’t a walking controversy.

Even though I’m a VTuber who practically thrives in the darker corners of the internet, I guess I haven’t completely plunged into the abyss just yet.

Still, it’s common sense to avoid streaming the night before a big event.

One careless slip of the tongue, and bam—instant disaster.

Plus, streaming right before a major event can wear out my audience, making the actual content less exciting.

But the thing is…

I have to stream.

Every.

Single.

Day.

So here I am.

“Today’s a short stream.”

[Ah]

[The hell…?]

[Why even start a stream if it’s gonna be short?!]

[Na…]

[…Rak.]

[NA RAK.]

[Do you wanna hit rock bottom before the Abyss Show even starts?!]

[Gotta admit, you are committed to your daily streaming promise. Let’s see how far this madness goes. LOL]

I sighed, rubbing my temples.

“You guys saw the notice, right? I have something important tomorrow, so I need to manage my condition.”

[What’s happening tomorrow?]

[Duh, the Abyss Show.]

[Did you not check the fan cafe?]

[Did you even watch the stream?]

[IMPOSTER. HERETIC. GET THEM.]

[Leader, should we kill them?]

[Or squeeze out a donation instead?]

[Forgiveness can be bought for 1,000 won.]

I clapped my hands together, shaking my head.

“Hey! I told you guys not to gatekeep new viewers! Seriously, I might just make today’s stream a Turret Purge special.”

[…Wait, what?]

[Oh no.]

[She said ‘turret purge’… oh god.]

[How the hell does a VTuber even say ‘turret’ out loud?! LOL]

[This is a VTuber…? Jia, at least pretend to be wholesome.]

[Her speech is absolutely unfiltered LOL]

[??? : “I’m going mainstream.”]

[Main…stream…?]

Turrets.

A slang term for toxic, self-proclaimed veteran viewers who act like the gatekeepers of a stream.

They police new viewers.

They enforce unspoken stream rules.

They act like mods when they aren’t.

They say shit like:

“This is how things work here, so follow the rules.”

“If you don’t act like this, you’ll get banned.”

“That kind of comment will get you banned. Watch yourself.”

It’s honestly hilarious.

Who the hell gave them authority?

To put it simply—turrets are poison to a healthy stream.

If you want your channel to grow, you have to squeeze them out.

In my opinion, turrets are even worse than those dramatic edgelords who thrive on negativity.

I sighed and cracked my knuckles.

“So yeah, be careful. When new viewers come in? Be nice to them, okay?”

[Huh, she’s making sense for once.]

[It must be the blessing of the Radiant Star.]

[Why is everything suddenly thanks to Radiant Star? LOL]

[This is where the script ends.]

[This is where the templating stops.]

[Wait, is she actually smart?]

Just then, a donation notification popped up.

[Viewer: Donated 1,000 won]

“Why does the host sound so smart today?”

I smirked, leaning closer to my mic.

“Isn’t it obvious? I have three heads. Three heads, three brains. I’m running on triple-core processing, baby.”

[Holy shit.]

[LTE LTE LTE.]

[Bro, you a genius?]

[Harvard graduate confirmed.]

[Triple-core processing?! LMAO]

[Wasn’t that thing supposed to be a divine relic?]

[Nah, it’s a blasphemy pouch.]

[You can tell she’s been in this VTubing game for a while.]

I leaned back with a satisfied grin.

Ah, this chat.

This absolute chaos.

Tomorrow’s Abyss Show was going to be a disaster in the best way possible.

And honestly?

I couldn’t wait.

At this point, being called a mid-tier streamer doesn’t feel out of place.

Which means…

It’s about time I start managing my chat properly.

I didn’t have any content planned for today anyway, so this was perfect.

“I’m selecting moderators.”

[Yo, this crazy woman LOL]

[Aren’t you a VTuber?! WTF LOL]

[Call them ‘managers,’ not ‘mods,’ for god’s sake!]

[Didn’t you say you were going mainstream?]

[She’s being way too transparent LOL]

[For the love of god, STOP reading online forums.]

I quickly whipped up a parody of The Duties of a State Librarian and posted it in chat.

The Duties of a Moderator

Conversion happens after death.

If you don’t watch at least one Jia stream per day, may Radiant Star’s divine punishment be upon you.

Once a month, post a Ban List on the fan cafe.

Once a month, post a Ban Appeal List on the fan cafe.

Failure to comply results in immediate dismissal and termination of moderator status.

Moderator duties are subject to real-time updates.

[Oh, screw this.]

[WTF, this is intense?!]

[This isn’t a moderator, this is a slave…]

[Hiring slaves! Apply now! Lots of openings!]

[Bro, this is the most hardcore moderator role I’ve ever seen LOL]

[At least it’s well-structured LMAO]

Too strict?

Not even close.

Compared to the Duties of a State Librarian, this is nothing.

Besides, let’s be real.

“Yeah, it’s slavery.”

A moderator is a slave.

At least, that’s how I see it.

If no one willingly signs up to be my slave, I’m the one who suffers.

If moderators don’t properly manage the chat, the streamer gets all the backlash.

Because, at the end of the day…

Managing moderators is also the streamer’s responsibility.

I leaned into my mic.

“By the way, once you get mod privileges, you’re not allowed to chat. No chatting, no donations, no tithes. Everything is banned.”

[Wait, what?]

[These conditions are too strict, sis…]

[But honestly, that’s how mods should be.]

Think about it.

If a mod is slacking off, chatting like any other viewer, then what’s the point of having them?

They’re just regular viewers with a badge.

Of course, I’m not heartless.

I’m not about to work my mods to the bone for free.

“You get a 10,000-won food delivery coupon per day. Monthly salary: 300,000-won worth of coupons. Extra rewards like fried chicken, pizza, and jokbal if you do a good job.”

[Oh?]

[Not bad at all?!]

[Mods gonna get fat real quick LOL]

[Watching streams and getting paid? That’s a dream job.]

“Omnia Archive, the family-like company! Lots of positions available! Only apply if you can handle the duties.”

I clapped my hands together.

“Alright, raise your hand if you want to be a mod.”

[FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, CALL THEM MANAGERS, NOT MODS.]

[Feet.]

[Chest.]

[Thighs.]

[The Sacred Pouch.]

[Omnia Archive, the family company!]

[…Who the hell is this lunatic in chat?]

I scanned the chat.

“You. Step forward.”

One person raised their hand.

Their username?

[AyaseSpyJia]

A perfect hybrid of Aduungs and devotees.

A solid start. +1 to favorable impression.

I leaned closer.

“State your occupation.”

[AyaseSpyJia: Unemployed college student.]

“Do you have a girlfriend? A part-time job?”

[AyaseSpyJia: No girlfriend. No job.]

“When did you start watching my streams?”

[AyaseSpyJia: Since your debut!”]

“What about Ayase’s streams?”

[AyaseSpyJia: Uh… About three months ago? Why are you asking this?”]

I smirked.

“Just curious. This question has nothing to do with the interview.”

[Look at her eyes light up the moment an Aduung appears LOL]

[Oh god, she’s totally obsessed with Ayase.]

[This woman is down BAD for Ayase LOL]

[This is pure devotion.]

[These questions… Why does this feel like a company job interview? LOL]

I waved my hand.

“Quiet. Next question. How much have you donated to Radiant Star so far?”

[AyaseSpyJia: 135,000 won. Also, WTF, why are you even asking this?!]

Nice.

Perfect.

One last question.

I laced my fingers together, staring at the screen.

“Imagine this scenario. There are two offensive comments in chat. One insults Radiant Star. The other insults me. Who do you ban first?”

[AyaseSpyJia: No hesitation. The one insulting Radiant Star.]

“Rejected. Next applicant, raise your hand.”

The Ruthless Interview Continues

I tilted my head.

“No free donations. Quietly disappear, please.”

[This interview is brutal LOL]

[Is this one of those ‘pressure interviews’ or what?]

[Wait, but seriously, even without the RP, isn’t ‘Radiant Star first’ the obvious answer?]

[Her RP execution is god-tier, though.]

[She’s absolutely cracked when it comes to staying in character LOL]

How many times do I have to tell them?

It’s not roleplay.

It’s reality.

I continued interviewing a few more candidates.

But no one really stood out.

I let out a dramatic sigh.

“No talent. There’s just no talent out there…”

[Maybe your standards are just too high?]

[You’re basically asking for an ‘experienced newbie.’ LOL]

[The requirements are hellish. No wonder no one’s applying.]

[No chatting allowed ← That’s the real dealbreaker. What’s the point of watching a stream then?]

[At least she’s paying them, so I guess the strict conditions make sense.]

[One thing’s for sure, though—whoever gets the job is gonna keep the chat clean as hell.]

[Viewer: Donated 1,000 won]

“Wait, does this mean we can’t say ‘Sacred Power Pouch’ anymore once a mod is in place?!”

I laughed.

“Nope! That one’s fine.”

[…Wait, what?]

[Hold up, why is that allowed?!]

[Isn’t that technically sexual harassment? LOL]

I smirked.

“Yeah, but it’s funny.”

That’s the universal truth.

Even if something is inappropriate—

As long as it’s funny, it’s fine.

Say something in a lighthearted way?

No problem.

Say the exact same thing but in a nasty way?

Immediate ban.

As long as you don’t actually cross the line, you’ve got nothing to worry about.

[RadiantStarBlessings: Donated 10,000 won]

“After hearing what you think, I totally get why you’re being so strict with the interview. I’ll give it a shot. Hand raised.”

“Alright, step forward.”

A Worthy Candidate Appears?

I checked the username.

[RadiantStarBlessings]

Good. Solid name.

I proceeded with the interview, applying the same ruthless standards.

And to my surprise…

They were flawless.

Not a single red flag.

Absolutely no disqualifying factors.

Impressive.

Finally, the last question.

“Imagine this situation.”

I paused for dramatic effect.

“There are two questionable chat messages. Who do you ban first?”

Option 1:

“Radiant Star’s foot pics when?”

Option 2:

“I want to see the disciple’s feet… huff huff huff.”

[Chat:]

[LOL this is obvious.]

[That’s a no-brainer.]

[Easy choice, right?]

[RadiantStarBlessings: I’d ban Option 2.]

[…?]

[??]

[Wait, that means they’re disqualified… right?]

[Well, GG. Goodbye.]

I squinted.

“Explain.”

[RadiantStarBlessings:]

“Option 1 is fine because it’s lighthearted.”

“Option 2, however, dares to refer to a divine being as ‘just a person.’”

“Blasphemy. Immediate ban.”

I grinned.

“You pass.”

[Wait, WHAT?!]

[THEY ACTUALLY PASSED?!]

[This must be Radiant Star’s blessing…]

[Honestly, their name alone makes them a perfect mod.]

Magnificent.

I intentionally set a trap.

And they dodged it perfectly.

Still, there was something I needed to confirm.

I leaned forward.

“You realize that from now on, you won’t be able to chat? No fun, just pure work. Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

[RadiantStarBlessings: I’ll just use an alt account to unleash my unholy desires.]

[Whoa, whoa, WHOA, you weren’t supposed to say that out loud!]

[Bro, that was WAY too honest.]

[We were SO CLOSE to a perfect finish…]

I snorted.

“I like honesty. You’re hired. Let’s do great things together.”

And with that…

I acquired my first slave.