Chapter 38: Alcohol is a cold flame. Let’s not trap the moon there.

“Uuuuuugh…”

I ended up buying it.

I really wasn’t planning to, but I just couldn’t suppress the urge to make the purchase.

Right now, sitting in front of me, is a clear bottle labeled with blue text.

A drink with over 40% alcohol content, commonly consumed in polar regions like Russia—

Vodka.

The whole thing started with a simple question.

Since it’s 40% alcohol, wouldn’t it actually get me drunk faster than other drinks?

Even when I drank straight from the bottle with soju, I’d only feel slightly tipsy.

But vodka? What would that be like?

Even with this ridiculously durable body, wouldn’t something like vodka finally get me drunk?

That question led me to the inevitable: I bought two bottles of vodka from the convenience store near my house.

“Do I drink this or not…”

To be honest… I was kind of scared.

There’s a reason it’s 40%.

Considering regular soju sits around 20%, this was basically double.

And since I’d drink it faster than soju, I’d probably get drunk that much faster too.

…But still.

“I really am curious though…”

Back when I was a guy, I was too broke to even afford alcohol.

And after becoming a girl, my body became so tough that no matter what I drank, I couldn’t really get drunk.

Just once, I wanted to experience being truly wasted.

I wanted to know what it felt like to black out.

I wanted to know what kind of drunk I’d be.

Without another word, I picked up the vodka bottle.

Just like I’d seen online, I’d stored it in the freezer—its surface was now ice-cold.

The moment I twisted the cap off, a cold mist poured down the sides of the bottle.

Ignoring the ghostly white vapor that floated like smoke, I gripped the neck of the bottle and poured it into the glass I’d prepared.

The transparent liquid filled the glass with a glug-glug-glug sound.

Once it was about halfway full, I stopped.

And then, I raised the glass and downed it all in one go.

“…!!!”

My throat was on fire.

It felt like I’d just swallowed a flaming meteor.

At first, there was a refreshing chill as the icy alcohol hit my tongue—but that chill quickly turned into a burning, stinging heat.

“Kegh! cough cough!!”

I forced myself to swallow what was left in my mouth and immediately burst into a fit of coughing.

F*ck, is this even booze or just pure alcohol?

At this point, wouldn’t it be better to just pop the cap off an alcohol lamp in the science lab and drink that?

(*TL Note: Do NOT drink from alcohol lamps. They contain methanol. Methanol = death.)

I looked down at the glass in my hand again.

It was cold to the touch, but the alcohol vapor radiating from it felt like heat.

“So this is why they call alcohol ‘cold fire’…”

I kind of understood now.

Still didn’t make me want to drink moonlight or whatever poetic crap they were going for.

I tilted the vodka bottle again and poured another glass.

Still no buzz.

No flushed face.

No spinning room.

Not even a light buzz, really.

“…What the hell. Vodka’s weak as hell.”

Has vodka always been this much of a wimp?

Did Russians really drink this stuff and shout “cyka blyat” just to act tough?

Weaklings.

They couldn’t even compare to the sheer might of a cute anime girl’s body.

Moments like this made me feel… a little proud of being a cute girl, honestly.

Gulp.

“Keh—ugh… Still bitter though.”

Next time I’m mixing this with orange juice or something.

And so, I grumbled to myself and kept drinking alone.

It didn’t even take 30 minutes before I’d emptied the entire bottle.

---

Unfamiliar ceiling.

Why is there a flower-shaped light up there?

It was definitely night earlier—so why is the sun up now?

And what the hell is that sour smell…

“…Huh.”

I sat up and looked around.

Scattered all around the room were my “boyfriends.”

From a vibrating massager to a pink rotor, and even some machine with a suction function—basically every toy I owned was strewn across the living room floor.

Except for dildos. I didn’t own any because I was scared of actually inserting anything.

So it made sense they weren’t here.

But still—why were all my “boyfriends” out?

And what the hell was this puddle on the floor…

“…Uuugh!!”

A splitting headache hit me like a hammer, and hazy fragments of last night’s memories started to rise.

Moaning. Lust. Climax.

It didn’t take much imagination to figure out what went down.

And my face turned red in an instant.

“Ah. AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!”

I screamed, covering my face with both hands.

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die from the sheer embarrassment.

What kind of lunatic gets drunk and masturbates like a maniac?

How much did I even do for the floor to be soaked like this?

At this point, I could only assume the vodka whispered, “You’ve been pent up, haven’t you?” and hypnotized me into getting off via some kind of suggestion app.

There’s no way I’d do this in my right mind.

This was all the booze’s fault.

It was the alcohol. I swear…

“Gyaaaaah…”

I immediately covered my face and fled into the bedroom.

Then I dove into bed and wrapped myself up completely in my blanket.

I wanted to die.

Would someone kindly fill a bowl with water so I can drown my face in it?

The neighbors heard me, didn’t they?

No—100% they heard it.

The living room isn’t exactly soundproof.

F*ck.

…F*ck.

I was going to die of shame.

Why did I even drink in the first place…

No, forget that—why is my drunk behavior masturbation of all things?

Out of all possible behaviors, why was it that?

Was I really that repressed all this time?

“……”

I didn’t know.

All I knew was that I wanted to die of embarrassment.

So I stayed curled up in bed for a while, kicking the blankets in a head-spinning spiral until the shame passed.

Once I regained a shred of sanity, I came out and cleaned up the mess I made.

…Seriously, what a f*cked up day.

---

[☆If Eden collab continues like this…]

(Rin’s character fighting a drone.gif)

“Rider appearance”

[Upvotes 32] [Downvotes 1]

– lololololol

– Why is this actually real tho

– Rider Kick!!!!

– (Henshin Rider Kick sticker)

– This can’t be real

– But Rin’s crazy good at the game

– fr lol

– Yuki said she’s Diamond tier

– Unemployed-tier cracked as hell

[For real, Yuki drops horny jokes like it’s breathing]

And the reason for letting Flame live was… because she’s an android real doll?

Never seen a VTuber throw out that kind of logic mid-Eden run…

[Upvotes 7] [Downvotes 1]

– Well… that’s K-VTubers for ya

– Domestic VTubers and Lunaverse vibes are totally different

– fr lol

– “Android real doll?” Move. I got business.

– Uh oh, here it comes

– byurururut~

– Ahng~ with lube, let’s gooo~♡

– Mechfreak’s a total perv…

[☆Grinning Foreign VTuber Gallery]

– Who’s this? Looks so smashable lmao

– That’s Yuki. 2nd gen Lunaverse KR

– Why are our gaybros posting local VTuber pics here…?

– “But you still got turned on.”

– lmfaooooo

– Tbh, Yuki’s hot so fair enough

– Oh lol they’re from the same agency huh

Trivia: Lunaverse KR 2nd-gen gets posted surprisingly often in foreign VTuber galleries. Probably cause they’re under the same agency and are lowkey well-received.

[Upvotes 24] [Downvotes 5]

– Hot? Agreed lol. They’re not even banned so…

– Looks fun as hell

– lol

– (Oops, downvoted by accident sticker)

[Also, I feel like Yuki would actually be super horny in real life]

Feels like she’d spend her days off drinking and jacking it nonstop.

Maybe she missed today’s stream cause she was busy fapping?

[Upvotes 6] [Downvotes 1]

– Honestly? Based academic theory lol

– (It really do be like that sticker)

– Tag this with “red pill” content pls;;;

– Huh? This counts?

– It’s borderline… but yeah, tag it

– Heueung… pervy Yuki…

---

The next morning.

I stepped outside to take out the trash.

And ran into the girl from the apartment next door.

“……”

“Ah, haha… good morning…”

She awkwardly greeted me with a flushed face.

The moment I saw her nervous smile, I knew.

She heard it. 100%.

No way she didn’t. She’s literally right next door.

And once I realized that…

My body started heating up like a kettle.

Whiiiiiine—

My face turned redder by the second.

The heat spread from my cheeks to my ears and all the way down my neck.

WHIIIIIIIIINE—!!!

The kettle screamed louder.

Cold sweat poured down like a storm.

My pupils trembled like a vibrator set to max speed.

WHIIIIIIIIIIIIINE——!!!!!!

I was a kettle about to blow.

No—I was a nuke about to detonate.

And right then, that girl next door cast Explosion on me.

“Um… I didn’t mean to hear it. I’m sorry.”

And that broke me.

All the pent-up shame finally exploded.

“Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah——!!!!!!”

I shrieked and dropped the trash bag I was holding, ran to the wall, and started banging my head against it.

Thud! Thud!

“H-Hey…!!”

Thud! Thud!

“Y-You shouldn’t hit your head like that…!”

Thud! Thud!

An impromptu head-smashing show kicked off in the morning.

I didn’t stop until my forehead started to bruise.

Only then did I snap back to reality.

“I-I’m sorry…”

“……”

“Um… is your head okay? Should I call an ambulance?”

“…No. It’s fine.”

Calling an ambulance after smashing your head from embarrassment?

That’d just be a second wave of public shame.

Besides, the wound didn’t really hurt.

The wall was hollow, so it just sounded loud—it wasn’t actually that hard a hit.

“…I’ll be going first.”

I fled with my trash bag, practically sprinting down the emergency stairs to avoid my neighbor’s concern.

I ran down five floors and finally reached the garbage disposal area.

Only then could I breathe again.

I will never drink again.

NEVER.

Not doing this shameful sh*t a second time… ever.