I Don’t Want to Lose

“Friends? What do you mean?”

“Huh? Well… when you say a fair fight, it usually means sports, right?”

“…Sports?”

“I heard it from the seniors in the sports club. They said you can become friends after fighting fairly.”

Dale lowered his head as if lacking confidence.

Yet, in the way his gaze was still directed at her, a feeling that could be called expectation, albeit very small, could be felt.

“So, I was wondering if… the duel proposal could be interpreted as wanting to become friends…”

“……”

“Uh, ahaha. I guess this is a bit much, huh?”

Dale tried to correct his words with an awkward laugh.

Binz also didn’t try to affirm his words.

In reality, the reason she proposed the duel was far from what Dale mentioned.

‘Friends? I never even thought of such a thing in the first place.’

Yes, the reason she came to this academy was to stand at the top.

It was to prove her excellence by competing with outstanding children and to cultivate the sense of responsibility to support her family.

In that context, someone called a friend would rather be seen as poison.

“Come to think of it, I never had the chance to ask.”

But perhaps because of that?

The reason she became curious about this boy for the first time, who emphasized the word ‘friend’ in response to her proposal.

“Dale Enberton, why did you come to this academy?”

Before hearing the answer to her proposal, Binz asked Dale another question.

A question that Dale couldn’t ignore either.

“My reason for coming to this academy?”

“Yes, what’s the specific reason you chose this academy?”

Looking at his school life so far, anyone would find it incomprehensible.

No matter how excellent grades he achieved, perceptions don’t change easily.

Arrogant nobles still don’t acknowledge his existence, and there must be a reason for him to endure their oppression and stay at the academy.

Perhaps a reason much more important than why she came to this academy.

“I wanted to make friends.”

But the answer that followed was exactly the opposite of her expectation.

“Friends…?”

“Uh, yeah. Well… I wanted to experience what books call youth.”

Dale started scratching his cheek as if even such an answer was embarrassing.

As if he was aware that it was too sentimental a reason to tell others.

“I wanted to make friends, go around and play here and there… So I thought if I’m going to school anyway, I might as well come to the biggest one, that’s why I came to this academy. Is that a strange reason?”

A strange reason?

No, not at all. Everyone has their own reasons.

In fact, since there are people who come to the academy not just for learning but also for socializing, it wouldn’t be strange to have human relationships as the main purpose.

“You…”

Yes, she could understand that reason.

“Don’t you understand what it means to be the top student in the academy?”

If the other person hadn’t taken the position she couldn’t achieve.

“Huh? What did you just…”

“I asked you to give me an answer to my proposal.”

Binz unconsciously blurted out her inner thoughts, then quickly changed the subject.

But the determination in her eyes had hardened even more than before.

“Will you accept my duel? Or will you refuse?”

As if trying to hide emotions she was revealing without even realizing it herself.

To Binz’s words, which only provided two clear-cut choices, Dale answered immediately after a moment’s consideration.

“Alright, I’ll accept.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah, because I know you’re thinking about it so seriously. I think it’s natural to respond to those feelings.”

The reason wasn’t even for himself, but for the person who approached him.

To the extent that he added the word ‘natural’, the other person felt no hesitation in responding to someone’s feelings.

Yes, this is what you’d call an ‘altruistic person’.

“Thank you for accepting the proposal.”

Exactly opposite to herself, who came to this academy solely for her own purpose.

“Then I’ll take my leave now.”

“…Huh? Is the conversation already over?”

“I need to make arrangements for the duel. We’ll proceed right after school, so please make sure to keep your time free.”

Now that she had received his acceptance.

Feeling it becoming painful to continue the conversation, Binz quickly wrapped up the talk and immediately left the place.

Leaving the boy standing there in a daze, she quickly moved to a place out of his sight.

‘Friends…?’

But even amidst all this, the words the boy had left behind were still echoing in the girl’s mind.

‘You came to this academy just for that?’

She understands with her head.

That the weight of reasons differs for each person.

But was there any gravity in that boy’s attitude when facing her?

Did that purpose have such weight?

‘Just for something like that, you’ve taken the position I wanted…’

Grind.

The sound of teeth grinding echoed in her mouth.

But they say when anger reaches its peak, composure follows.

‘…No, calm down. Whatever the other’s purpose is, it doesn’t matter.’

When her head finally cooled down, Binz clutched her forehead and sorted out the current situation.

‘Yes, the planned duel has been accepted. Now I just need to prove it.’

To confirm with her own eyes the ability of the top student she had been observing all along, and to directly verify the reason he’s in that position.

And if she judges that he truly deserves it, prepare to quell the unrest in her heart.

But if a result comes that she can’t acknowledge him…

‘…I don’t want to lose.’

The moment the negative feelings she had suppressed for a month sprouted again.

‘To you, who stepped into the battlefield of those aiming to be the best without any sense of responsibility…’

Her small shoulders began to sink heavily as she moved forward, harboring such emotions.

The lump of burden called responsibility.

That still had room to become even heavier than it was now.

---

And so, in that way…

Though I don’t know the details, it was said that this year’s top and second-ranked students ended up facing off in the training ground after school.

Dale probably said something thoughtlessly and touched a nerve.

That child isn’t stupid, but how should I put it, he tends to cause trouble unknowingly in areas he’s unfamiliar with due to his lack of experience.

“That aside, I heard about it, but… isn’t this place too big to be a venue for kids fighting?”

When I first set foot in the duel venue, what I felt was that it was incredibly grand.

The scale alone is comparable to a large stadium, and inside, it’s equipped with all the necessary safety facilities for fights between individuals.

But more than that, what stands out the most is the material that makes up the ceiling of the arena.

“Good grief, whose idea was it to cover the entire ceiling with glass?”

A glass dome, no less.

Normally, even a slight impact would make it unable to bear its own weight, turning the inside into a disaster area, but for this academy, there’s no need to worry about that.

The mana veins existing underground activate the functions of materials that have undergone special processing.

In fact, that glass dome is essentially the best protective barrier, and it’s no different from natural lighting that allows light to pass through.

So there shouldn’t be any problem moving around inside, but what greeted me when I actually stepped in was the crowd filling the spectator seats.

-Murmur murmur.

…What’s this, is there so little to do in this academy?

Why are so many people gathered for a kids’ fight?

“Teacher Saine, this way!”

As I was wandering around the bustling spectator seats, I noticed someone sitting in the front row gesturing towards me.

A man of the same age with distinctive squinty eyes.

A colleague teacher who I now consider a comfortable friend.

“Oh, Squinty-eyed teacher, you were here first!”

“…It’s Lloyd, not Squinty-eyed, Teacher Saine.”

“Ah right right, I forgot since it’s been a while.”

“What? We met just a few hours ago, how is that a while?”

“Huh? Wasn’t it a week since we last met?”

That’s strange.

I could’ve sworn it was a week since we last met.

“…If you’re tired, just rest in the infirmary.”

“Come on, how could I do that? If it’s a duel, someone might get hurt, so there should be someone to treat them just in case.”

“You seem quite excited for someone saying that…”

“Never mind that, just take this first~”

Haha, I laughed and handed him what I was holding.

A cold drink I brought in a thermal bottle.

When he opened the lid, along with the cold air, he could see black liquid bubbling up inside.

“What is this… carbonated water?”

“It’s something I made personally. Please taste it and give me your evaluation~”

“Ah, well, if that’s all…”

Lloyd-sensei poured the drink into the cup I handed him and drank it, saying so.

After taking a sip, his squinty eyes began to open slightly.

“Does it suit your taste?”

“Ah yes, it’s sweet and fizzy… I was a bit surprised since it’s my first time drinking something like this.”

Well, he might have never tasted something like cola before, even if he knows carbonated water.

During the war, it was only distributed as a fatigue recovery drink in the imperial army, and what I made now is a beverage I created by adding my personal recipe.

Well, whether there or here, it started as a tonic, but now it’s treated as a snack just like ice cream.

“By the way, did you bring something too, Teacher Lloyd?”

“Ah, I went down to the city briefly and bought some chicken. There’s a tavern I’ve been frequenting lately that fries delicious chicken… Would you like to try some?”

“Oh my, if you’re offering, I’ll gratefully partake.”

Come to think of it, while this world might not be on par in terms of civilization, culturally it has raised many aspects to a level similar to modern times.

Not only sports and arts, but even food culture has quite a few things that can be seen in modern times.

As for chicken, since I ate a lot of it in my previous life, what he brought was something I wanted to welcome too.

“Mmm……”

The crispy feeling filling my mouth.

Yet the inside is moist, and the salt level is just right, making it melt in my mouth.

But no matter how well it’s made, it’s a bit lacking, how should I put it?

To satisfy that lingering desire, I took a sip of cola, and felt that part being filled.

Yes, an impression that I thought would be a shame to feel alone.

“…Does it suit your taste?”

“Teacher Lloyd.”

Wanting to share that impression, I asked him as he was also eating chicken.

“Have you ever had sex?”

“Pffft!!”

“Oh my, are you alright?”

“I-I’m fine… Cough, huff!”

“That’s what happens when you eat too hastily. It’s fortunate that no one’s sitting in front of us.”

“Teacher Saine! Please be mindful of your words!”

Teacher Lloyd immediately scolded me despite my concern.

It was a reaction I couldn’t understand.

“Why are you so surprised? It’s not like you don’t know what sex is.”

“No, I know, I do know… That’s why I’m reacting like this!”

“Oh, so you’re quite experienced~ Our Teacher Lloyd seems to have played around quite a bit despite his appearance~”

“That’s not what I meant… Teacher Saine, please, choose your words more carefully!”

“Oh come on, if it’s good, it’s all the same. I gave you the highest praise I could, so don’t be too flustered~”

After all, chicken and cola are like sex, right?

“No, just…!!”

Just as he was about to raise his voice.

Soon he noticed the gazes around and, startled, began to cover his mouth with his hand.

Indeed, we’re not the only ones here.

Just in the surrounding seats, there are students everywhere, and even faculty members including teachers can be seen here and there, right?

“Oh my, be careful, Teacher Lloyd. If your voice is too loud, our plan might be exposed.”

“…Don’t transform obscene talk into a conspiracy of a suspicious organization.”

“Aw~ Seeing your reaction now, it seems like you’d rather be misunderstood that way?”

“It’d be better not to do it at all in the first place, right?”

Saying that, Teacher Lloyd grumbled and started to clean up the spilled contents on the front seat.

Watching him, a warm smile formed on my lips.

After all, I thought, even this suspicious man is a human being just like anyone else.