Chapter 36 – One Day The Childhood Friend Started To Look Like A Man

At first, when Han Sijoon told me he had “something to tell me,” my mind was calm.

It had been a while since he said he had to tell me something.

He told me it was something important.

What is it? The important thing he wants to say?

At first, I didn’t understand, but after seeing him face to face, I could tell.

There must be something today. 

A hunch that our childhood friend status would change.

I got that feeling from how nervous Sijoon was.

He had the look of a man who was hesitating before making a confession.

His actions were telling enough for it not to be a misunderstanding.

With that subtle atmosphere, we walked towards the empty park.

Right at that moment…

“Yoo Hayeon.”

Sijoon suddenly grabbed my hand and spoke in a serious tone.

I-Is he… going to confess…?

For real?

That Sijoon who never even thought of me as a woman…? 

After he had been kidnapped…

I realized that the feelings I had for Sijoon were not familial.

He was not family, but a man of the opposite sex.

I hated him going off somewhere, but I hated him going away with another woman even more.

If I had to date, it would be with Han Sijoon.

If I had to marry, it would be with Han Sijoon.

During the week without him, I thought about our relationship.

Wait, is today the day we break free from our current relationship status…?!

Of course.

It didn’t take long for me to realize I deluded myself. In that instant, my heart was completely stepped on.

That wretched Sijoon, who made me misunderstand with my small heart, spewed out words he shouldn’t have.

“Introduce me to a girl.”

“…Hah?”

Wasn’t this the moment he was going to confess?

More importantly, he wanted me to introduce him to a girl?

First, came the surprise.

Second, came the shock.

Third, came the rage.

My feelings and thoughts went through a series of processes before coming to a conclusion.

So he doesn’t actually see me as a woman.

Having spent his elementary school days in the hospital, Sijoon’s first school life experience in middle school was not bad.

He was born with the looks and the aura, but with a bit of a peculiar personality.

Even so, there were female students who liked him without him knowing. They obviously approached him just by looking at his appearance, so I quietly took care of them.

I couldn’t just hand my childhood friend over to anyone, after all.

Sijoon might be the way he was, but as his childhood friend, I knew better than anyone else that he was a nice kid.

That was why he had never been in a relationship, since I had him hidden under my skirt. He did not even know how to treat other women besides me.

“I realized after I was kidnapped, it feels regretful to die without dating. I also want to try it out at least once.”

That Han Sijoon.

Dating which I never did before.

Said he wanted to date another woman.

He proclaimed it.

Did I train hard for this…

I was training to obtain strength to protect him for the rest of his life.

Meanwhile, he was saying he was going to go out with another girl.

Then asking me to introduce him to someone.

Just how did I raise you? Do you think I’d send you to another girl…?”

I’ll never let you go.

He did not think of me as a woman, but as family.

I wasn’t some pushover who would give him to someone else.

Yeah, it was fated to be like this.

The fate to make Han Sijoon see me as a woman, not as family.

Otherwise, he’d never view me as a female.

I decided to reverse that situation.

“You. Give it to me straight. Do you want to be introduced to someone because you want to date? Or is there a girl around me that you like and want?”

“…I just want to try dating.”

His aim was just dating.

Anyway, because Sijoon lived with me, his standards had gone up, so he couldn’t be satisfied with an ordinary girl.

And I had no intention of sending him to another woman.

“If you want to date, I’ll do it for you. How about it?”

Sijoon replied, “We’re family” to what I said.

Family.

Family.

The punk’s family.

He would never see me as a woman.

In that case, I had no choice but to make him see it.

“T-Then…do it for practice…! Practice! You’ve never done it before, and I’ve never done it before either. Let’s practice…!! It’ll be good to use when you’re in a relationship later.”

I laid down all my pride.

I didn’t like how I was doing something similar to a confession to Sijoon. But if I didn’t approach him first, he would see me as family forever.

He’d leave for another woman.

A fake partner.

A dating practice.

With that in mind, let’s put a leash on Sijoon, who looked like he was about to leave.

He was brooding about my offer.

I can never see you date another girl.

You always have to be by my side.

Since we’re childhood friends.

If Sijoon dated another girl who was not me…

I, too, can’t predict what will happen afterwards.

 ***

“…Alright. Practicing dating doesn’t sound bad.”

No matter how much I thought about it, there were only positive things to take from the dating practice with Yoo Hayeon.

I could learn about women and find out what kind of gestures they liked.

All I know is that women likes empathy. It’s not bad.

Hayeon as a woman, not as family.

If she told me the ways to a woman’s heart, it would be helpful advice and a life lesson.

I didn’t want to be in a relationship with Hayeon since she was family to me. But if there was a justification for practice, it won’t feel too uncomfortable.

It won’t be awkward after we break up since it had just been practice.

It was safe to say that Hayeon and I had to see each other practically for the rest of our lives.

Awkwardness wasn’t good for either of us, so it would be fine if we got rid of our emotions after our practice was over.

I asked Hayeon, who was staring at me from the distance, “So how are we going to practice dating?”

“T-That’s right… How do we do it…?”

“…?”

“Wha…What are you looking at?! It’s also my first time dating!!”

Come to think of it, Hayeon was a NBSB
1
like me too.

Would this even be practice…?

As I gave her a dubious look, she yelled in a fit of anger.

“J-Just…stay put! I’m thinking…”

She began to mutter, “How…How do you date…?”

Thinking about it was fine, but I wondered if her body could follow through.

The idea of practicing to date was certainly a good one, but it looked like Hayeon didn’t know how to use the idea.

“Should we just drop it?”

“…S-Shut it! A contract is permanent!”

Hayeon shouted as if there were no take-backs.

I felt like I shouldn’t have taken up on her offer.

After she mused about it for a while, her cat-like eyes suddenly flew open and then she approached me.

“G-Give…me your hand.”

“…?“

Without holding any suspicion, I extended my hand to her.

She then grabbed it, and came next to me.

“By any chance, is this something like that…holding your lover’s hand?”

“…”

Nod.

The nodding Hayeon grabbed my hand and glanced at me.

There was a silent pressure to give her appreciation.

I had no choice but to tell her the truth.

“What’s so different about this from what you usually do?”

“Ah.”

Hayeon clapped her head as if she had only realized it.

Although she did well in school, she was a bit of a klutz.

While she was like that, I had a question for Fenrille.

Hey mutt, do you count fake relationships as lovers?

–Fake. Lovers. But. Lovers. Feelings. Same. Kiss. Kiss. Do it. Human.

Stop nagging, Dog.

Even if she was a fake lover since the feeling of us being lovers was similar, Fenrille said he’d acknowledge it if I kissed her.

So family and lovers were in a similar vein when it came to feelings.

Fenrille also recognized the feelings of the childhood friend.

–Poor. Female. Male. Has. No. Damn. Sense. With. Lovers.

Poor? What?

–

Nothing. Stupid. Male.

What’s with him?

Why’s he cursing at me all of a sudden?

I couldn’t understand his words and actions.

For now, I decided to put down the hand I was holding.

 “Ahh…”

“This is what you normally do. Let’s do something more relationship-like.”

“…What’s something relationship-like?”

Hm…

Something relationship-like…

“A back hug?”

“…That’s also what I normally do.”

“Then, hold you like a princess?”

“Can you even lift me up?”

“It’ll be a little difficult, but I might be able to manage.”

“…“

While we were thinking about how to do something relationship-like, no matter how hard we wracked

our brain, no answer came out.

But Hayeon gave me a burning stare with her cat-like eyes, as if to say I could not get off the train which had already departed.

In that situation…a good idea came to me to fulfill my qualifications.

“What about kissing? You’ve never done this before, right?”

“K-Kiss…?! Isn’t it too fast?”

There was a time when Hayeon and I had accidentally kissed each other when we were little.

When I was lying down in my hospital room, the moment I woke up after having a bad dream in my sleep… For some reason, Hayeon was on top of me, then
bam!

Since we did have an incident where the lips touched the cheek, I suggested kissing which I have never done with her.

It wasn’t a bad suggestion.

But unlike what I thought, her reaction wasn’t that great.

She turned around, away from me, then began to mutter curses at me.

“K-Kiss…? Psycho… Pervert… Obscene… Die…”

“What do you mean, die? That’s extreme.”

When I said that, Hayeon looked back and shot me a glare.

“You. Do you see me as that easy of a girl…? Do you see me as a girl who’d give up her lips after becoming a couple for a day…?”

“No, that’s not it…”

“No kissing, you damn pervert. You’re trying to get it on from day one?! You were gunning for the woman’s body, weren’t you?!”

Hayeon began to get delusional by herself. Her strange delusions kept sticking and she interpreted things her way.

“When you wanted me to introduce you to someone, the feeling was shallow, wasn’t it? You’re obscene. No, Sijoon. You can never have a girlfriend, not without my permission. Got it?!”

“Why should I? No.”

“You have no choice. You’re weaker than me. I’ll keep watch on you whether it’s from a villain or a girl, from everyone.”

Hayeon, who did not know about my contract with Fenrille, was telling me to prepare to die.

I mean, I have to get with women for me to extend my lifespan?

Of course, if I said that to her, she would raise even more of a fuss.

Because she was usually obsessed with my health, she wouldn’t welcome the news that my life was running out of time. Also it might fall on deaf ears that the solution to that was being with women.

“
No. Your lifespan will never increase from kissing a girl. Sijoon, you must be going crazy because you’re on death’s door. Let’s find a new way to cure you together.”

I could see that future without having lived it.

Having lived with her for a long time, I could see how Hayeon would act; it was as clear as water.

As she was being delusional, she suddenly placed her finger on my lips and whispered quietly.

“My lips are more expensive than anything else. Got it? I don’t give them away easily to anyone.”

So in other words…

“B-But still…if it’s you… I… If you butter up to me… I can do it for you. Just… Do your stuff…”

Hayeon avoided my gaze as she murmured.

She got more and more quieter, but I could make out what she was saying.

She always ended things like a klutz.

I whispered to Hayeon’s back, who was walking away as if to flee.

“I’ll give it a try.”

“Try harder. My first kiss is very expensive!”

Hayeon seemed to be in a good mood unlike before.

That was her joyful self when things went her way.

…
Did I get tricked?

It seemed like the moment where I felt deceived by Hayeon’s ulterior motives.

If it was her, she could trick me like that.

Since I was her childhood friend who was like family.

It was because that was what fate was like..

Footnotes

1
NBSB is the acronym for No Boyfriend Since Birth, the male counterpart would be NGSB, No Girlfriend Since Birth. It’s the term people use to describe those who have never been in a relationship before.