Chapter 36: I can’t believe my groom is someone like you

“…I am, today, becoming someone’s husband.”

Although the ceremony was held in a shabby, dilapidated church due to our tight finances, the fact that we were getting married remained unchanged. Nowadays, many couples don’t even have a ceremony.

“This is the worst day of my life.”

As I was lost in my thoughts, looking around, a voice came from beside me.

I turned my head and saw her. White-silver hair fluttering in the wind, clear eyes that seemed to hold the blue of a southern sea. Her protruding, sensual, crimson lips looked incredibly soft.
My bride, and soon to be my wife, Yu Garyeon, gently linked her arm with mine and looked at my face.

“I can’t believe my groom is someone like you. To think I have to spend the rest of my life with a man who’s not only ugly but also boring.”

Yu Garyeon said with a faint smile. I knew it was a mocking sneer, not a smile filled with love, but it still looked incredibly beautiful to me.

“There’s not a single thing I like about you. If you were to turn my ideal type upside down, it would probably be something like this.”

Yu Garyeon leaned her head on my shoulder and grumbled for a moment, then began to pinch my face here and there with her index finger, as if kneading dough.

“Normally, marry someone like you? Absolutely not. No, I wouldn’t have even met you. I’m doing this for the money. Hehehe, but I have a conscience, you know? I’m not just going to take the money and run.”

Yu Garyeon took out a wad of cash from her pocket and fanned herself with it.

Yes, that money was originally mine. The money I had painstakingly saved by working overtime and invested in Bitcoin, my precious children.
But as they say, you get stabbed in the back by the axe you trust. I let my guard down, and Yu Garyeon hacked my wallet.

“Ah, why are you looking at me like that? It’s your fault for not being careful. And I married you in return. Where can you find someone like me? Do you think it’s easy to marry a beautiful woman like me? But you’re really ugly. Hehe, you look like a squid.”

Yu Garyeon’s small finger poked my cheek.

“…Do I really have to give this?”
“Oh my, Yeoreum-ssi.”

Han Yeoreum, sitting in front of us, pouted with a dissatisfied expression.

“Why should I give my money for your wedding?”
“Of course you have to. That’s the rule.”
“But this is my hard-earned money…”
“Shut up and give it to me.”

With those words, Yu Garyeon snatched the wad of cash from Han Yeoreum’s hand.
Han Yeoreum’s face turned sallow like a rotten potato, but Yu Garyeon, unfazed, grinned and linked her arm with mine again.

“Then… I’ll be in your care from now on, oppa. No, husband.”

The sweet whisper in my ear melted my brain. Yu Garyeon’s soft cheek, pressing against my shoulder, fanned the flames of that emotion.
It felt as if Garyeon’s cute face was being engraved on every single one of my brain cells, completely filling my mind. Now, all I could think about was Garyeon.

…I must have finally lost my mind.

****

“Damn, what’s so great about getting married? If you’re going to do it, at least do it quietly. Extorting money from someone who doesn’t even want to go. Those damn thieves.”

Han Yeoreum, sitting with her legs spread and one knee up in the so-called ‘mistress of the house’ posture, frowned and spun the roulette wheel in front of her.
The spinning roulette wheel soon stopped at the number 4, and Han Yeoreum moved her game piece four spaces as instructed.

“Ah, damn it!”

A torrent of curses erupted from Han Yeoreum’s mouth. The space her piece had landed on read: “Fell and broke your leg while walking drunk. -500,000 won.”

“This damn world. Take it, take it all.”

Han Yeoreum shouted, scattering bills on the game board.

“The Game of Life: Spicy Chicken Flavor.”

This item, created under the philosophy of “giving you a taste of the bitterness of life,” completely unfitting for a board game, was similar to the popular board game “The Game of Life,” but the rules and the prompts on the game board were strangely unpleasant and realistically altered.

It was something the two troublemakers had brought out from the bedroom shelf, complaining of boredom, but the more we played, the less it felt like a game.
A monstrosity that would only make the atmosphere awkward unless one was completely drunk, something one wouldn’t even touch with a ten-foot pole when sober. That was my impression.
But they seemed to be having a great time, completely engrossed.

“If we go on like this, we’ll win easily. You’re lucky, husband. Thanks to marrying me, your debt is gone, and you’re about to snatch a free victory. I’m the only one who’s losing out, really.”

Every time Yu Garyeon said ‘husband,’ I felt the hair on my body stand on end. If she kept calling me that, I might start getting the wrong idea.

Yes, the strangest part of this game was that players could get married to each other.

If someone landed on a space that said ‘marriage,’ they would draw a card with a specific condition and be forced to marry the player who met that condition.
After that, the two players’ money would become a joint asset, and they would be affected together by the luck and penalty spaces on the game board.

According to the creator’s note in the rulebook, it was designed to give players who had fallen behind a chance to make a comeback, but it was still a strangely unpleasant setting.

“My debt is because you took all my money…”
“Oh my, so what? You landed on the penalty space. Do you want a divorce? Should we do that? But what to do, I won’t give you one. I don’t want to waste money on a lawsuit.”

Of course, divorce was possible, but it was designed to be difficult and expensive.
Literally, it was a choice between winning together with a freeloader or dying together. A design that revealed the creator’s truly extreme and gloomy way of thinking.

“Forget it, just spin the wheel. Can’t you see everyone’s waiting for you, oppa… no, husband?”
“…I told you not to call me that. Anyway, after this, we’re really going to bed.”
“Okay, hurry up~.”

Yu Garyeon said that and placed her palm on top of my hand, urging me on with a cute gesture.
Fighting back my embarrassment, I spun the roulette wheel.

“5! Let’s see. ‘Unable to contain your surging impulses at your lover’s (or spouse’s) workplace, you sneak a kiss and get caught by the boss, receiving a reprimand. Afterward, you buy a luxury bag to appease your angry lover. –600,000 won. / If married, including your spouse’s pay cut, –700,000 won.’”

Yu Garyeon, who read the text on the penalty space, giggled and started hitting me with her cotton-ball-like fists.

“You’re a truly hopeless person. Losing your hard-earned money because you can’t even control your damn libido. And you’re even causing me damage.”
“Hey, what am I supposed to do if the number comes out like that?”
“Forget it, no more excuses. By the way… did you want to kiss me that badly? No, should I do it now if you want? We’re married, so we can do that much.”

Yu Garyeon’s protruding lips slowly moved towards my face. Her innocent appearance, with her hands clasped tightly and her eyes closed, was so criminal it evoked a sense of guilt.

I flicked her forehead with my finger, meaning to tell her to stop, but no matter how many times I flicked, her lips wouldn’t stop.
Finally, after I recoiled in horror, Yu Garyeon smiled faintly and spoke.

“It was just a joke, why are you so flustered? Don’t tell me you really wanted to do it?”

I thought my heart was going to explode.

Anyway, after that, every time I spun the roulette wheel, I landed on strange spaces that only resulted in me losing money, like slipping on an icy road while running to see Yu Garyeon because I was so happy to see her, or getting injured by falling into a manhole because I was distracted by her face.

“Ah~ Again? How many times is this? You’re a truly hopeless husband.”

Then, when I landed on a penalty space with the absurd content of having to pay a hefty penalty for rushing home to celebrate my wedding anniversary with Yu Garyeon, abandoning an important contract, I genuinely wanted to see what was inside the creator’s head.

What kind of madman lives somewhere?

“You’ve finally done it. What should we do… I’m going to lose because of you. Did you, did you miss me that much? Was our wedding anniversary more important than a multi-million dollar contract?”