Chapter 36: Fantasy in the middle of the night

“Haa…”

Was this pain, or joy? Longing, or desperation?

A breath steeped in restless agony slipped out—an odd contrast to the opulently decorated room filled with high-end furniture.

Perched halfway on the windowsill, Izana stared wistfully into the night.

The darkest hour just before dawn. A sliver of moon balanced above the clouds. The luminous night danced inside her green eyes.

A hallucination? A lingering trace? In that impossibly black sky, a certain someone’s image floated into her mind. But no—it had always been there, just below the surface. This was merely a rediscovery.

Her reflection overlapped with the darkness on the glass: skin pale as snow, sharply carved features, golden honey-blonde hair.

Nothing had changed about her appearance. Except for one thing—the eyes. Her usually vibrant green irises shimmered with an unfamiliar sweetness.

Reflection or introspection—maybe both.

She forced the corners of her mouth upward. A smile. Awkward, forced, and faintly ridiculous.

Even the pretense had grown dull with overuse.

Izana had never cared for “special” things. Not that she denied her own uniqueness—what she hated was other people’s specialness. Especially when their brilliance threatened to paint over her own. And yet, this time… it was different.

Something subtle, yet immense. Something genuinely different.

How could she possibly describe this feeling in simple terms?

That’s exactly why it felt special.

“…Hot? It’s hot.”

She lifted her hand and pressed it to her chest.

Through the thin negligee, she could feel her heart beating warm and thick beneath her palm. She let herself sink into that heat. It was definitely warmer than usual. Not her imagination.

First love. Yes—her first love.

At least, when it came to a real person.

Deeper than childhood fantasies. More intense than magic mushrooms.

More electrifying than ecstasy. It clutched her chest and wouldn’t let go.

Maybe that’s why it felt like her heart was on fire.

Why she could feel happiness swimming somewhere deep inside the nausea that churned in her gut.

Yes, that tremor she felt when the black-haired girl caught her mid-fall—that jolt still lingered in her bones.

Her broken heart was still pounding.

So happy, yet so confused. This was definitely love. But confusing all the same.

Like a kid wetting the bed. Or a chihuahua left in heat.

Her neck was stiff. She kind of wanted to jam a finger down her throat and puke her guts out.

Just a bit.

Gross, maybe. But hey—this was first love.

Come to think of it, why had she fallen for Sia?

Was it because Sia saved her from falling?

No… that was just a detail. She’d simply been drawn to her.

A primal instinct.

Just as a thirsty person digs for a well, her heart had been desperate for something like this.

Real love doesn’t need a tidy explanation. That’s why it’s fate. A destiny that can’t be changed. Can’t be undone.

A perfect, eternal, true love.

Goddamn it!

“Aaah! Black Bear!!”

“Yes, young miss.”

A breathy moan had slipped out by accident—but thankfully, the stoic man didn’t seem to react.

He simply kneeled quietly near her feet, motionless.

Had he shown even the faintest reaction, she would’ve ordered him to die on the spot.

Because now, she belonged to someone.

Even if she had no moral compass, her sense of purity was still intact.

She was a virtuous maiden in the truest sense.

“Assign some bodyguards to Sia—no, our Sia. All of them must be skilled in undercover work.”

She hadn’t been into girls to begin with. At first, it was just curiosity.

In a classroom full of carefree laughter and shallow smiles, only Sia wore a face that screamed, “Life is hell.”

She looked like she had everything in the world, and yet, like a stray dog abandoned by its owner.

People don’t normally show their weakness so openly. But Sia radiated it.

And that was fascinating.

So she’d approached her. Said something clumsy. And discovered her true self.

There’d been a bit of yelling too, sure. But one thing led to another and—well. She fell in love.

The whole process was a mess, but she couldn’t explain it any better.

Because it was instinct.

That was all.

“Are you… suggesting we tail her?”

“Well, something like that. Technically, it’s love surveillance. Just take it that way.”

“Oh, and while Sia’s at school, I want cameras installed in her home too. Pay extra attention to the angles in the bathroom and her bedroom.”

“Understood. I’ll assign personnel immediately. We’ll install the hidden cameras tomorrow.”

“…Haa, Black Bear. The way you say it makes it sound like a crime, you know that? This is love. Pure, maidenly love. Can you please be more careful with your wording?”

“I apologize, young miss.”

Anyway, there was no doubt in her heart.

No matter how many times she examined it, she kept reaching the same conclusion:

Izana was in love—with Sia.

No matter how messy the reasoning, this was absolutely, undeniably true.

And therefore, everything she was doing now was perfectly reasonable.

After all, she barely knew anything about her. She wanted to know her.

She wanted to unravel everything about the girl named Isia.

To memorize her. All of her. With her eyes. With her mind.

Yes. A natural desire.

Isn’t it only normal to want to know everything about the person you love?

And love is something you must fight for yourself.

“Sia… no, Sia-ya…”

As her bodyguard stepped out the door, Izana’s gaze lingered on his back—as if she could see Sia’s shadow there.

She whispered softly to herself.

Sooner or later, as I track every detail of her life, even her deepest secrets—she’ll have no choice but to let me in.