Chapter 34: Hoxy?

The house I returned to after a very long time… to be honest, it didn’t feel all that familiar or comfortable.

My parents moved to Daejeon after I became independent. In other words, I never lived in this house with my parents.

I only visited occasionally for holidays or my parents’ birthdays, and after I became a woman, I stopped even doing that.

So, this house, this space, couldn’t be called a familiar place to me.

But even an unfamiliar place can feel different if there’s a familiar person there.

As I said a little while ago, Seo Ha-neul, Older sister, is like a third parent to Han-wool and me.

Older sister never refused to take care of her younger, immature siblings who were much younger than her, and we liked her for that.

Raising children is hard work. Even though Older sister was older than us, taking care of not one, but two kids must have been difficult.

Of course, Mother was responsible for the overall childcare, and Older sister only assisted, but even considering that, Older sister never got annoyed or expressed difficulty in taking care of us.

“Our Han-byeol has become so pretty~. It used to be hard to even pat your head.”

“Ahahaha…”

Maybe it’s because Older sister has a natural disposition to like taking care of something, especially something smaller than herself.

I can tell from her somewhat disappointed reaction when I surpassed her height in my first year of high school, and from the way she’s smiling brightly and patting my head now.

“I thought it would be nice if both Han-byeol and Han-wool only grew this much. It’s finally coming true~.”

“Even if it’s him, if my original height was this much… hmm…”

Before becoming a woman, I was tall, and Han-wool likes to exercise, so she’s quite tall for a woman.

In comparison, Older sister… I can’t say she’s short, but she’s just average, or a little below average… For Older sister, who likes small things, our growth, which was growing taller day by day, must not have been to her liking.

Even though she ended up marrying someone much taller than her.

“What does it matter? You’re so cute like this. Hey Han-byeol, why don’t you call me Older sister?”

“That’s a bit…”

“Hey, try calling me Older sister too. You’re shorter than me now―”

“What are you doing here, why don’t you disappear?”

Ignoring the Precious child’s words, I obediently accepted Older sister’s pat.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled, but I couldn’t exactly push Older sister away either.

It’s partly because it’s Older sister that I’m being careful, but more than anything…

“So… how many months are you? Now.”

“Just turned 6 months.”

Because inside Older sister’s belly, a new life is stirring.

Originally, both Han-wool and I were careful around Older sister, but after learning that Older sister was pregnant, we began to be even more careful with our words and actions.

After all, you can’t just run up to a pregnant woman or anything like that. Anyone who does that is crazy.

“I’ve heard that babies usually become more active around this time, but I think our baby kicks especially often. I wonder if they’ll become a soccer player?”

Pregnant women should always maintain absolute stability, anytime and anywhere. Otherwise, both the mother and the fetus can be in danger.

“But why did Older sister come to the main house? You should be resting at home…”

So, I didn’t quite understand Older sister’s actions of coming to the main house. Or rather, I should say I didn’t understand my brother-in-law’s decision to bring Older sister to the main house.

“Well, because Han-byeol was coming after a long time, I was excited to see our Han-byeol’s face and came down. I didn’t know you’d become this cute, though.”

“…..I’m, sorry…”

Come to think of it, not only my parents, but I haven’t seen Older sister’s face for a while either.

In other words, I’m a terrible sinner who called someone who should have been resting at home to the main house because I hadn’t shown my face at all.

“What’s there to be sorry about? It’s just nice to see you after a long time.”

“Older sister is too nice. What’s so good about that Precious child.”

I never thought the day would come when I’d be called a Precious child by her.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I knew best that I was the sinner.

“Oh, right, Han-byeol. Now that I think about it, there’s something I’ve always wanted to try.”

Saying that, Older sister rummaged through her pocket and then held something out in front of my eyes.

“…Hair tie?”

“Yeah, it’s a hair tie.”

It was a hair tie. A plain hair tie with no decorations, the kind you could buy for 1000 won at Daiso.

“When you were little, you didn’t like getting your hair cut, so I used to tie it up for you often. I couldn’t do it anymore from middle school onwards.”

When I was in elementary school, I had a kind of romance about having long hair. To the point where I wouldn’t cut my hair easily, despite my father’s scolding that a boy shouldn’t grow his hair like a girl.

Of course, I had the excuse that Mother and Older sister liked long hair, but that deviation, if you could call it that, was one of the few times I didn’t listen to adults, especially my father.

After entering middle school, my romance with long hair faded, and it became a hassle to manage, so I just cut it.

Since then, I’ve always kept my hair short and neat. Older sister, who likes to tie hair, seemed to regret that.

Han-wool? She originally liked sports, so she always kept her hair short. She still does.

“There are many things I want to try, but your hair isn’t that long right now, so… ta-da~.”

“….Don’t you think this is too immature for my age?”

“Han-byeol, you look young, so it’s okay.”

What do you call this, side up? Side ponytail?

I don’t know much about hairstyles, but I think that was the name. Hair tied up on one side.

“Wow, look at that hairstyle. How old are you, mister?”

“Are you saying that the hairstyle Older sister gave me is weird?”

“She’s using an unblockable move.”

Whether I was bickering with the Precious child or not, Older sister seemed pleased with her work, looking at me with a satisfied gaze.

“I want to do this for our Woo-joo later too~.”

“Woo-joo?”

“That’s what we call our baby. Han-wool named it Woo-joo.”

All of our siblings’ names are pure Korean words. Seo Ha-neul, Seo Han-byeol, Seo Han-wool.

The meanings are, Older sister is literally the sky, I am a star, and Han-wool is the universe. I can’t believe she’d use her own name as her niece or nephew’s nickname.

“I hope they don’t take after their aunt.”

“What’s wrong with me.”

“Do you even need to ask.”

Woo-joo, Woo-joo.

The meaning itself isn’t bad. The sound is also good for both a boy’s and a girl’s name.

So, Older sister and my brother-in-law must have gladly accepted the nickname. Even if it’s just a name to be used before birth, it’s good to have good things.

“…..It’s kind of strange.”

Looking at Older sister’s face as she stroked her belly with a gentle expression, random thoughts began to creep up.

People often call children the fruit of love. A treasure born from the love of two people, a man and a woman.

The child in her belly is the love of Older sister and my brother-in-law, itself. That’s what I, Older sister, and Han-wool would have been to our parents.

Love, love…

“Hey, I have something to talk about with Older sister, so go out for a bit.”

“What. Who are you to tell people to go out or not―”

“I’ll give you 50,000 won.”

“I’ll disappear in 10 seconds, sir.”

After chasing away the spectator who would only be a hindrance with money, I was left alone in the room with Older sister.

“This serious atmosphere doesn’t suit Han-byeol…”

“Sorry. But it’s an important story. At least to me.”

What is love?

Is love that cannot bear fruit still love? Is one-sided love still love?

“…I have someone I like.”

“..Oh my.”

To find the answer, I opened my mouth.

――

Where should I start, how should I explain?

Because I couldn’t find a starting point for the story, I just told Older sister everything from beginning to end.

The things I experienced after becoming independent from my parents, getting a job at a company, becoming a woman, working to prove that I am Seo Han-byeol, and finally returning to normal.

And one person who can never be left out of that eventful life… Cha Hye-won.

Looking back, there was no one who was more deeply involved with me after I became an adult than that person.

A harsh boss and an ignorant New Employee. A sham of a romantic relationship. A fable. And after that, her erratic attitude.

Why is someone who didn’t love me acting as if she still has lingering feelings, suddenly apologizing or asking me to stay with her?

Honestly… it’s hard. To me, who hasn’t completely shaken off my lingering feelings, that person’s strange attitude shakes my heart, which I had tried so hard to steel.

A heart that has already been rejected, by the person who rejected it. Someone who didn’t even love me, why now.

“So, you’re saying… the person who was wishy-washy about dating you when you were a man and then unilaterally broke up with you in the end, is suddenly acting as if she has lingering feelings after you became a woman… is that it?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm… I’m just saying this just in case. That Cha Hye-won person…”

I don’t think Older sister knows the answer, but if anyone knows about love as well as Older sister does, maybe I can find even a small clue…

“…Isn’t she a lesbian?”

…That’s what I thought.

“…Huh?”

“Huh?”

“Les… what?”

“Lesbian.”

“The lesbian I know? The woman who likes women…?”

“Yeah, a homosexual.”

…..

…I wasn’t expecting this kind of answer.