Chapter 33: Swear – 3

Vivian couldn’t respond to Kailo’s words; she didn’t want to believe him.

Kailo was always the one who approached her with cold remarks, mocking her pride.

His jeering at her weakness, his enjoyment at her suffering—all of it remained vividly in her mind.

Reading the confusion on her face, Kailo spoke calmly.

“If you don’t want to believe it, then don’t.”

But in truth, Kailo’s thoughts and what Vivian truly thought were polar opposites.

Somewhere deep inside her, an understanding was slowly dawning.

She didn’t want to believe it, but suddenly, his actions over the years seemed different.

All the times he appeared, challenging her, adding tension when she felt like giving up; the time he forced her to vomit when she’d taken poison to save her life; eating her food in advance to check for toxins; showing up in her classes to monitor her throughout the day—even what had happened today…

Every action he took, circling around her, pointed in one direction.

She hadn’t understood it before, too caught up in her emotions.

Or maybe, she had simply ignored the truth, pretending not to see it.

Whatever the case, it was an overwhelming truth to accept all at once.

When everyone else wished her dead, only the firstborn of her sworn enemy’s family, the person she should hate most, was trying to protect her.

Even the moments he seemed to torment her—it was, in the end, for her sake.

The conflicting emotions that realization brought washed over her.

And yet, she couldn’t ask him, “Why?” because Kailo Alan had said he didn’t know, either.

As Kailo watched Vivian’s changing expression, it seemed he knew she was beginning to believe him.

The brusqueness from before was gone, and he scratched his head, looking uncomfortable.

Maybe revealing his true feelings with a single comment had unsettled him.

“Is that enough?”

He muttered, adding.

“If your curiosity’s satisfied, go back to the others. They’re probably thrilled, thinking you’re dead.”

Staggering, Vivian rose to her feet.

She needed time to process all of this, to understand his intentions fully, and being apart from him felt necessary.

When she returned to reality, she realized he was badly injured too.

The urgency to find Scholar Crellin and bring him here filled her.

Her ankle throbbed as she hopped on one foot, but unlike in the castle, there was no rush to escape.

Just as she was about to leave, Kailo called out again.

“Vivian.”

They were never the type to address each other by name.

But now, having laid bare his feelings, he didn’t seem concerned with formalities.

When she turned back to him, he spoke with a solemn look.

“About that oath from before… I meant it, to some extent.”

“…An oath?”

“That if I saved you, you’d stop crying.”

His words were unexpected, but this time, there was no trace of his usual teasing on his face.

“Here I am like this, but… if you keep whining by yourself, it drains me.”

Vivian looked over Kailo’s injuries again, noticing the severity now that she’d stepped back.

A broken leg, his shoulder and back soaked in crimson.

His sacrifices for her protection were becoming clearer.

And in seeing this, a sense of humiliation came over her too.

Not long ago, she had been crying helplessly over her own plight, while Kailo Alan, who defended her every time, was suffering this much.

-When are you going to stop whining?

His words from the past echoed in her mind.

It seemed he’d disliked seeing her cry in front of him from the very start.

“So hold back those tears, got it?”

Caught between irritation and a strange kind of plea, he asked her.

She knew she should heed his words, but in the end, she turned without answering him.

She still needed time.

***

Three days passed.

The fire had started in the west wing, while I was currently in the east wing.

Today, Scholar Crellin entered my room and carefully began unwrapping the bandages from my burns.

The pain seemed to grow more intense with each passing day.

Working with practiced hands, he gently applied herbal ointments and remarked.

“To survive these burns from the fire… you were truly fortunate.”

I grimaced slightly from the pain and replied.

“More like… I’m tough because I’m from the north. We’re different from the southern folk.”

Crellin nodded with a smile and spoke openly.

“It’s hard to deny that now. Showing more courage at fifteen than anyone else.”

“Is it courage or… does everyone just want Vivian gone?”

He paused for a moment, then whispered softly, as if confessing.

“Not everyone wishes her gone, but many desire a strong lord. Their future is at stake, after all.”

Whether this was a hint of betrayal or simply regret, I couldn’t tell.

So I replied.

“Then help her become that strong leader.”

He merely offered a bittersweet smile and remained silent.

After finishing with the herbs, he carefully rewrapped the bandage, advising.

“It’ll hurt for a few more days. The burns are quite severe. I’ll need to apply the herbs and bandages a few more times. And there will likely be a large scar left from your shoulder down to your upper back.”

“I don’t care about the scar…”

Even as I said that, the news brought some regret.

Not so much because of the scar itself, but because I imagined my mother would be saddened if she saw it once I returned home.

Crellin then turned to my leg and said.

“You’re resting, right? Like I said, you shouldn’t push it for a few months.”

My left leg was broken.

Fortunately, it had been reset and would heal well if I was careful, but it was still the most inconvenient injury.

I nodded, but my honest thoughts made me uneasy, thinking I wouldn’t be able to protect Vivian for a while.

“How’s Vivian?”

After finishing the treatment, I asked Crellin about her.

That ungrateful woman hadn’t come to see me even once in the past three days.

Not a trace of her. I wondered if she was eating properly.

“As you may know, there have been many chaotic events keeping her busy. Shall I tell her you’re looking for her?”

“…Forget it.”

I didn’t want to be the one to seek her out first.

My pride held me back.

-Knock, knock.

Just as if she’d heard my words, someone had come to see me.

“I’m coming in.”

It was Vivian.

With just those few words, she entered the room.

Seeing her face again made my breath catch, as always.

Scholar Crellin greeted her politely.

She returned his greeting and then asked him.

“Does he need further care?”

“No, today’s treatment is finished.”

“Then, could you give us some privacy? There’s something I need to discuss with Kailo Alan.”

Crellin respectfully bowed his head and exited.

As his footsteps faded and the door closed, a cold silence filled the room, making the distance between us feel greater.

I didn’t intend to break the silence, but the awkwardness bothered me, so I spoke first.

“This situation feels familiar.”

But this ungrateful woman didn’t even respond, leaving me to feel all the more awkward.

She lingered for a moment, then pulled a chair next to my bed and sat down, her gaze passing over my injured leg and shoulder.

Her eyes held emotions she didn’t voice.

It took a while, but eventually, she spoke, her voice quiet and filled with resolve.

“I’ve thought a lot these past days.”

I waited silently for her to continue, drawn to the look of determination in her expression.

“About your actions… of protecting me.”

I blinked, answering briefly.

“And?”

Vivian took a deep breath, as if bracing herself, then spoke in a softer, firmer voice.

“I’m not able to understand it. No matter how much I think about it, I can’t grasp why you’re doing this for me.”

“…I never asked you to understand.”

She nodded, and her voice grew even firmer.

“And because of that, I’m also not going to thank you. All of this happened because of your Alan family. If you keep protecting me, I won’t stop you. But don’t expect any gratitude. If you can’t accept that… then don’t bother protecting me.”

I never sought gratitude.

As I said, I just wanted her to live.

Still, out of habit, I couldn’t help but respond sarcastically.

“…If I don’t, you’ll probably die right away.”

“I know.”

Her calm response left me feeling something unexpected.

In those stubborn eyes, I could see Vivian’s determination to shed her weakness.

“I know, but… relying on you for protection is… nothing but disgraceful for me.”

Her voice remained strong, but there was an undercurrent of complex emotions.

She clenched her hands slightly.

“I don’t want to be protected… by the son of the man who killed my father and brother.”

With a pained look, she lowered her head and continued in a whisper.

“The more I dwell on it… the more I hate myself for feeling grateful to you.”

As she spoke, pressing a hand to her chest as if suppressing something, her words, filled with hostility, didn’t feel hurtful.

Instead, for the first time, I sensed a fierce resolve, and I found myself drawn to her defiance.

“…I will become strong.”

Her voice resonated through the space, cutting through the silence with force.

Her words sounded less like a simple resolution and more like a promise to herself.

Her determination felt like a silent cry, infused with emotions long held back.

“I will become strong enough not to need your help. With my own hands, I’ll seize control of our family’s power and rebuild Rondor, the land you let fall.”

A chill crept up my arm.

What had she been thinking over the last three days?

Though her clenched fists revealed she was still as fearful as before, this newfound resolve also hinted at her transformation.

The girl who used to cry all the time seemed to be finding her footing.

“You said it, didn’t you?”

She looked me square in the eye.

“Said what?”

“You asked me, with all seriousness, if I would make that vow.”

I nodded.

Vivian spoke.

“I swear. You’ll never again…”

Her voice wavered for a moment, but soon her fierce determination covered it.

“…You’ll never see me cry again.”

A faint smile spread across my lips.

She must have known it wasn’t mockery.

I asked her.

“What if you do cry?”

Vivian considered it briefly and then replied.

“I’ll let you go home.”

That one statement told me how serious she was.

“But that won’t happen, Kailo Alan.”

Leaving those words behind, Vivian rose from her seat.

I knew there would still be moments when she needed protecting; deciding to be strong didn’t make it happen overnight.

But the mere fact she had taken her first step forward warmed me.

As she walked toward the door, I watched her retreating figure.

Then, just before she left, I called out to her.

“Vivian.”

She stopped, turning her head slightly.

“It’s Kailo.”

Vivian paused, looking at me for a moment, then asked softly.

“…What?”

“It’s not Kailo Alan.”

In that moment, I thought I saw a slight smile flash across her face.

I might have been imagining it.

She stood there, listening, then quietly replied.

“…See you at dinner.”

***

Vivian’s new room was on the second floor of the East Wing, far from the burned-out West Wing library.

It was a well-protected room with open sightlines so no would-be assassins could approach unnoticed.

Close to the main hall, from where she could exit the castle swiftly, the room was also conveniently near the dining hall.

It was the best room in the castle—the ancestral chambers of the Rondor family.

Once a cherished space, where her parents had shared their happiest moments, the room now held too many memories for her to be near it easily.

She had avoided it, fearing that taking it over would bury all her memories of them.

But now, it was time to let go of that fear.

If she was to overcome shame and terror, she had to move forward.

She had thought she was moving on, but that was a delusion.

Kailo Alan had been there to support her.

Night had fallen.

Vivian stood by the window, looking out, trying to take it all in.

Unlike her old room with its view of the river, from here, she could look out over the Loctana lands.

She couldn’t see the whole realm, but it was enough to keep her grounded in her responsibilities to her people.

A flag of Rondor, fluttering in the breeze, was hanging outside the window—a marker Vivian had placed earlier in the day.

Vivian stood there, eyes closed for a moment.

Soon, the faint smell of tobacco tickled her nose.

“…Hoo…”

Someone blew a breath of air on her face.

She slowly opened her eyes to see Elena sitting on the windowsill as if it were the most natural thing.

“How have you been, Vivian?”

Still lost in an unfamiliar feeling, Vivian looked up and asked.

“What should I call you?”

“Elena is fine, or teacher if you’d like.”

Elena smiled, as if it was a given that she’d become her mentor.

Yet Vivian could not bring herself to reject her confident demeanour.

Swallowing, Vivian asked.

“Remind me again, what can I do if I become a witch?”

Elena’s eyes sparkled with a smile.

“Anything. But with every spell, you must pay a fitting price. For small spells, a frog may suffice.”

“Can I find out who’s after me?”

“Yes, you can. But only after you’ve become a full witch. As I told you, to become a full witch, you must reach adulthood and sacrifice something precious.”

“And until then?”

“Until then, you’ll be preparing yourself. As an apprentice witch, you’ll only be able to cast simple spells. You might be able to detect poison in food or eavesdrop on a conversation.”

Vivian was visibly disappointed by the limitations, a feeling that Elena could see on her face.

Elena gently placed her hands on Vivian’s shoulders and said.

“It’s only five or six years to wait, Vivian.”

“By then, you’ll be an adult, able to wield many spells. You’ll be able to put the world beneath you… and revive the Rondor family.”

Memories of her family’s faces flashed in Vivian’s mind.

She turned her head, gazing around the room filled with cherished memories.

It felt as though their absence had grown in her brief time back.

She soon also thought of Kailo Alan’s injured figure.

Gritting her teeth, Vivian looked up at the witch.

“I’ll do it.”

A smile spread across Elena’s lips.

“My pupil, call me teacher from now on.”

“Yes, teacher.”

“I trust you’re ready. Offering something dear to you… it’s painful. And if the time comes and you cannot sacrifice it, the cost will be severe.”

Though Elena spoke with concern, Vivian was unfazed.

Her mind was set; she was determined to move forward.

She had been told that to avoid adults’ disdain, she had to act in spite of fear.

So Vivian looked Elena straight in the eye and said,

“I no longer want to cry.”

In those words, her resolve was contained.