I’m Sorry! (5)

 

Throughout the journey back home, I was constantly agonizing.

‘Wasn’t that too harsh?’

Good heavens, not just an insult, but insulting parents! From the listener’s perspective, it’s a situation where everyone would understand if they threw a punch right there. I’d have to acknowledge it like the coolest guy in the world.

But Mari, true to the protagonist I knew, seemed unable to even attempt to hate others. There wasn’t a shred of resentment in her teary eyes as she looked at me.

‘I’m sorry!’

I apologized countless times, though it couldn’t reach her, but what’s sadder is that I have to continue doing this in the future. Even the kind Mari will gradually come to hate me.

At first, she’ll be bewildered and just sad, but later on, she’ll genuinely resent me. In fact, when Ariel died, Mari said this:

[I know I shouldn’t think this way… but for the first time, I felt good seeing someone die.]

Even for a protagonist, there’s a line. What Ariel did in the original story crossed that line too much, and even the kind Mari eventually came to genuinely hate her.

Of course, the original Ariel did go around doing such terrible things that people said she got off lightly. That’s why even I thought without hesitation, “Serves her right,” or “That’s still too light.”

‘Now is when it really starts.’

The evil deeds of Ariel that earned her so much hate, now I have to do them. I have to do them if no one else does. This incident is nothing less than the cornerstone for that. I didn’t just target her, but mentioned and insulted her parents. If it were me, I would have thrown down the gauntlet right there.

“Muriel.”

“Yes, Young Miss.”

“I’m really a bad bitch…”

“Pardon?”

Although I feel sorry for Muriel who looked puzzled, right now I wanted to grab anyone and pour out my feelings.

No, wait a minute. Thinking about later, I shouldn’t tell Muriel either, right? Belated regret arose, but the bus had already left. No, here it might be more appropriate to say the arrow has already been shot rather than the bus. There are no buses here.

I tried to make an excuse hurriedly, but Muriel’s words were faster.

“Did you perhaps hinder someone else?”

“No, I didn’t do such a thing.”

“Did you oppress someone by flaunting your family’s authority?”

“I didn’t do that either.”

“Did you use magic on someone or hit them?”

“I didn’t do that either.”

“Then why are you suddenly saying this?”

I couldn’t open my mouth to Muriel’s question. How could I say it? That I did something even worse than the things she just mentioned. It might have been better if I had just beaten or insulted someone. But I insulted someone by mentioning their parents! It wouldn’t be strange if the heavens were angered and struck me with lightning right now…

Rumble!

“Eek?!”

At the sudden sound of thunder, I shrank with a strange noise. No, I’m not particularly afraid of lightning, but right now the timing is a bit… you know. Thinking that lightning might strike here, I flinched without realizing.

“Young Miss…”

When I glanced over, Muriel was looking at me with a gaze that could only be described as looking at something pathetic. D-Don’t look at me like that!

“If you’re that scared…”

“N-No, I’m not scared at all. Really.”

I tried to make an excuse hurriedly, but what came back was an increasingly warm gaze. No! It’s really not like that!

In the end, I managed to dispel Muriel’s misunderstanding by causing a scene, saying I would jump out of the moving carriage.

“I understand. Please sit down for now.”

I did dispel it, right? Right?

After returning home, I suffered from a moment of sage time. The last face of Mari I saw wouldn’t leave my mind.

Often, readers of novels empathize with the protagonist and feel affection for them. Unless the author deliberately portrays the protagonist as unlikeable, this fact doesn’t change much.

I was the same; the character I liked most in the Arsian Chronicles was indeed the protagonist, Mari. Her kindness shown in the story, her flexibility to accept decisions while shedding tears when necessary. Even the illustrations were pretty, so many people besides me liked her.

But now I have to torment such a character. I thought I had steeled myself all this time, but actually doing it face to face is unbearably painful.

‘Get a grip.’

Slap, slap, I hit my cheeks with both hands and steeled my resolve once again. How many times are you going to waver? It’s about time you pulled yourself together.

Right. Let’s take a deep breath and sort out my mind. Inhale, exhale…

“Young Miss!”

“Hic!”

Ah, I got the hiccups.

“Young Miss! His Highness the Crown Prince…”

Huh? Why is Reinhardt being mentioned here?

“You didn’t meet with His Highness the Crown Prince?”

“What?”

I don’t understand what she’s saying. I wish she wouldn’t suddenly jump to the main point without giving an introduction.

“So…”

“That’s enough. I’ll explain the rest.”

“Y-Your Highness!”

At the sudden opening of the door, I naturally frowned. What’s going on that you’re barging into someone’s room without knocking?

“Ariel Walpurgis. Let me ask you one thing.”

“Yes, Your Highness. Please speak.”

“Why didn’t you come to see me?”

“Pardon?”

What’s he saying all of a sudden? As I stood there blankly unable to answer, Reinhardt sighed and explained step by step.

“You and I are engaged.”

“Yes.”

“And it’s not just any engagement, but an engagement between the Imperial Family and the Walpurgis family.”

“Yes, that’s right.”

I’ve heard about that fact so many times my ears could grow calluses. But why suddenly?

“Even if neither you nor I have feelings, we need to show some appearance as fiancés in front of others. Do you understand?”

“Ah…”

I didn’t know that.

“Fortunately, since I left quickly too, there probably won’t be any rumors of discord… but be careful from now on. Make sure this doesn’t happen again.”

“Yes…”

I didn’t think of that. Since Reinhardt was also taking the entrance exam, it was an opportunity to appeal our engagement relationship in front of others. Making people recognize this one by one would create a stronger impact when we break off the engagement later.

This was clearly my mistake. I was so focused on Mari that I forgot what I actually needed to do. I should reflect on this.

“I didn’t mean for you to look so downcast.”

Reinhardt added softly, perhaps feeling sorry for my silence. No, I wasn’t particularly downcast though.

“Your Highness. Pardon my rudeness, but it will soon be mealtime. If you don’t mind…”

“I understand. I’ll excuse myself for a moment. Please inform the Duke as well.”

“Yes.”

Muriel, who bowed politely, disappeared with quick steps. Huh? Are you going to eat dinner while you’re here? Is that okay?

No, it wasn’t okay.

“Ariel. How were your exam results? Did you make any mistakes? If you felt any unfair treatment, tell me.”

These days, Father has completely changed. When teaching magic, he still shows the appearance of an excellent teacher, but in everyday life… um… thinking about how Father acted until recently, I doubt if this is really the same person.

Simply put, he’s become doting. Saying incomprehensible things like he’s going to make up for his neglect until now, he keeps trying to take care of me… To be honest, I don’t think he needs to go that far. I’m starting to feel a bit burdened, you know?

“The examiner’s reaction was good, so I think the results will be fine.”

“Who was the examiner? No, I’ll find out later separately.”

“No, you don’t need to go that far…”

“Just in case, you know. Listen, Ariel. In noble society, putting others down is an everyday occurrence. Even though His Majesty established the Academy to nurture talent regardless of social status, there are still many fools inside who don’t understand His Majesty’s intentions.”

This is strange. He wasn’t like this. Even in the original story, this kind of behavior never appeared… Is this also that butterfly effect or whatever? It’s information I didn’t really want to know.

“Am I seeing things right now?”

“You’ll get used to it, Your Highness.”

On one side, Reinhardt and my brother, who were half left out, were quietly continuing their meal… but I was busy just trying to stop Father’s overenthusiasm. No, more than that, brother. If you have that much composure, couldn’t you help a bit!

In conclusion, it’s obvious I would have done well in the exam anyway. It’s fine. Trust your daughter. There’s no need to waste energy investigating, and so on… With various reasons, I succeeded in preventing Father’s intervention. They say even doting can be a disease…