Chapter 33: Could you stay by my side…?

Kwaang-!

“Guhh!”

Viviana grabbed Mardian by the collar, lifted her into the air, and threw her down. The impact was so strong that it twisted the carriage, and a groan escaped from Mardian’s lips.

“There should have been knights outside…”

“Knights? I thought I was dealing with bandits.”

Mardian glared at Viviana with eyes full of resentment. But that was all. Mardian had no way to confront Viviana.

Mardian slowly bowed her head, then suddenly reached out both hands towards me and rushed forward. Unable to deal with Viviana, she intended to take me hostage.

I had to avoid her. But as I met her ferocious red eyes that had tormented me moments ago, my body froze with fear.

“N-no…”

As I muttered miserably, Mardian’s hand reached out to my face. However, just before it touched me, a sudden gust of wind flung Mardian’s body against the wall.

Mardian fainted without even a groan. As I stared blankly at the scene, a delicate hand was extended in front of me.

“Let’s go home, young lady. Your mother is looking for you.”

“V-Viviana…”

Viviana waited for me without saying anything. I wanted to leave the carriage as quickly as possible, so I tried to grab her hand and stand up, but my legs gave out and I collapsed back onto the bed.

“Ugh…”

I had forgotten my physical condition in my surprise at Viviana’s sudden appearance. My body was already exhausted from my futile struggle.

As I regained my composure, the effects of the drug reappeared. My body started to heat up again, my breathing became more rapid, and my mind grew hazy as if I would pass out any moment if I closed my eyes.

Yet Viviana still said nothing, just staring at me. Her quiet purple eyes met mine, and the sudden thought that crossed my mind made my heart sink.

Viviana dislikes weak people. She doesn’t even pay attention to them and just abandons them coldly. What would she think of me now, unable to even stand on my own?

Previously, I had abandoned her, but now she could abandon me at any time.

“W-wait? I-I’m fine, I can get up soon…! Just a moment…”

I hurriedly smiled and tried to get up again. But despite my urgency, my legs wouldn’t move, and I collapsed back onto the bed.

“I’m f-fine…! I was just startled…”

Fear and anxiety gripped me as I wondered if Viviana’s outstretched hand might leave me at any moment. I was terrified that she would leave me here with Mardian.

“…Sigh.”

A deep sigh of annoyance from Viviana.

It was too late. I had fallen out of favor with Viviana.

She would leave me.

She would leave me here with Mardian.

My whole body trembled like a leaf.

No.

Abandoned.

Abandoned again.

Always abandoned.

Again, alone…

“Hold on to my neck, young lady.”

“Eek?!”

Viviana supported my legs and back, lifting me into her arms like a princess. Startled, a high-pitched voice escaped my lips. As my body floated in the air, I instinctively wrapped my arms around Viviana’s neck.

Viviana chuckled and slowly walked out of the carriage. As we left the unpleasant and gloomy carriage, the cool evening breeze tickled my cheeks.

There were only trees around us. It seemed the carriage had been parked in the middle of the forest. The thought that I would have been left here as Mardian’s plaything if Viviana hadn’t appeared made me shudder again.

Viviana lifted me again and placed me on the horse she had ridden. She immediately sat behind me, wrapped one arm around my waist, and grabbed the reins with the other.

“Shall we go?”

At Viviana’s question, I nodded weakly. I wanted to leave this disgusting place immediately. Viviana nodded and gently kicked the horse’s side.

With a spirited sound, the horse began to run forward. There was no more sticky air around, only the cool and clear breeze of the forest.

My body was still hot from the drug, but the feeling of safety made me relax, and sleepiness washed over me again. But it’s impossible to sleep on a running horse, so I struggled to keep my head up and stay awake.

“You can sleep. There’s no way you’d fall.”

Viviana whispered softly in my ear.

Why?

There’s nothing more dangerous than falling asleep on a galloping horse, but when Viviana said it was okay, all my worries disappeared. In the end, I gently closed my eyes in her embrace.

Finding peace in my utterly exhausted body.

I was able to fall asleep immediately.

***

My mother was beautiful.

It’s not just a figure of speech; everyone truly said she was beautiful. More beautiful than any woman appearing in those shining square boxes.

Having inherited my mother’s looks, I also received quite a lot of compliments about my appearance. But I never welcomed those compliments. Instead, they made me feel disgusted.

Because the way they looked at me was as if they were seeing a weak, gentle woman.

Beautiful, nice, lovely, she’ll surely grow into a nice young lady. These were the compliments they generously showered upon me. When I told them I was a boy, everyone was shocked.

I found those compliments extremely unpleasant and felt dirty. After that, I grew my hair long. Once my face was hidden, no one approached me with kindness anymore.

Except for one person, my childhood friend.

Anyway.

My mother was exceedingly beautiful. However, nothing in this world lasts forever. After giving birth to me and with the passage of time, my mother’s appearance gradually changed.

Of course, even then, she was still beautiful. Just that her glamour faded and was replaced by maturity. She was still more beautiful than any other woman.

But unfortunately, what my father wanted was not maturity but glamour. One day, he had an affair with a younger woman.

After my father left, my mother was engulfed in sorrow for a while. Her once smooth skin started deteriorating, and her balanced body became just skin and bones because she couldn’t eat properly.

It wasn’t just her appearance.

As time went by, her personality grew increasingly violent. At some point, she started cursing at me and even pulling my hair.

It seemed like my mother thought of my father whenever she saw me. Knowing how hard it was for her, I wanted to understand her.

Then one day, my mother approached me with a golf club.

“If only you hadn’t been born… I wouldn’t have ended up like this…!! Why did you have to be born needlessly!!”

She screamed at me, her voice cracking, and hit me. After that, the violence became repetitive. Every time she saw me, she said I reminded her of my father, hitting me with whatever she could grab. In the daily repetition of violence, my world gradually turned gray.

As the days went by and my heart kept diminishing, I no longer remembered what love was.

A woman appeared in my life.

[Tina.]

Artasha Bland. A woman with eyes far more radiant than my mother, who was the most beautiful in the world. A woman who loved me to the point of harming her health, melting my heart with her soft and gentle voice.

A pitiful woman, deceived by sweet lies, not even knowing her daughter had disappeared.

Of course, I knew her love wasn’t directed at me. But even knowing that, I acted spoiled with her. Her gaze and affection were so sweet that I couldn’t let her go.

But it was fine. Humans are inherently wrapped in lies. Even though I wasn’t Artasha’s daughter, I could be happy just by feeling her affection. Seeing her expressions brighten more than before probably meant I was doing a better job as a daughter than Tina.

So Tina.

Please stay gone.

Please don’t come back.

After all, you’re the one who abandoned Artasha’s love with your own hands. Give it to me, who desperately needs her love.

“Tina.”

Ah.

It’s my mother’s voice.

She’s calling me.

Hearing her always gentle voice calling me, a smile naturally spread across my lips. As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw my mother gently stroking my head with eyes full of affection.

“Tina…do you know how worried I was?”

“…I missed you, Mother.”

At my words, the woman opened her eyes wide in surprise. As always, she looked at me lovingly with her beautiful smile.

“Really… you are…”

“A dreadful monster.”

Stab!

“…Huh?”

A burning pain, as if I had been scalded, surged near my chest. Before I could grasp what had happened, bright red blood gushed from my mouth like a fountain.

“Gah?! Cough?!”

I lowered my trembling gaze. A knife was embedded in my chest. It was just an ordinary kitchen knife, not particularly sharp or pointed. And the one holding it was none other than Artasha.

Stab- Stab- Stab!

“Cough?! Huff! M-Mother! W-Wait!”

Artasha pulled the knife out and mercilessly began to stab me all over my body. Each time the knife plunged into my flesh, my body convulsed as if in a fit.

“Shut up! Don’t call me Mother! Where is my daughter, Tina! Give Tina back!”

My neck, face, solar plexus, waist—all were relentlessly torn apart by the hideous kitchen knife. Soon, all I could see around me was a pool of bright red blood.

But strangely, I felt no pain. The agony of my body being cut and torn was numb. Yet my heart was in extreme pain. The fact that Artasha was the one stabbing me was unbearably painful.

“M-Mother, Mom…”

Ah—

I collapsed rapidly.

Tears of blood flowed from my eyes. Seeing her tearful face, my heart felt like it was plunging to the depths.

“You monstrous girl.”

No.

Don’t say that, Mother.

Please….

Please don’t say such things.

Don’t say the same things as that woman.

“A thing like you—.”

No.

I don’t want to hear it.

I am being abandoned.

By the one person I didn’t want to be rejected by, I am being abandoned.

Abandoned again.

Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned. Abandoned.

“…..A thing like you should never have been born into this world.”

“Haaah!!”

I opened my eyes wide and bolted upright from the pain splitting my head. I grabbed my chest, which had been ravaged, trying to stop the bleeding, but the body that had been mutilated by my mother was completely intact.

‘…A dream?’

I wiped my forehead with my hand. It was soaked with cold sweat.

It wasn’t just my forehead,

My whole body was drenched in sweat.

My head was spinning.

My breathing was unsteady.

“It was a dream….”

“Yes, it was a dream, young lady.”

The voice startled me. Sitting elegantly in a chair beside me was Viviana, quietly watching me.

“Vi-Viviana….”

“Uh? Are you speaking informally now?”

“Viviana…”

Amidst my hazy consciousness, fragments of memory started to come together. I had certainly been kidnapped by Mardian, and then Viviana appeared to rescue me. I slowly looked around. The scenery was all too familiar; it was my room. It seemed Viviana had brought me back to the mansion.

“Now that I’ve confirmed you’re okay, I’ll be going.”

With those brief words, Viviana stood up from the chair. As she turned her back to me, an indescribable sense of anxiety and nervousness overwhelmed me.

“Don’t, don’t go…”

I staggered to my feet and grabbed Viviana’s sleeve. She looked down at me with puzzled eyes. Struggling to steady my trembling voice, I spoke to her with difficulty.

“Could you stay by my side…?”

“…What?”

Viviana took a step back and let out a hollow laugh, brushing off my hand without mercy. Her violet eyes were calm, showing no sign of agitation.

“Since I know it’s all an act, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try to win me over with such pathetic words, young lady. Otherwise, you’ll really be in trouble.”

With that, Viviana turned away again. Watching her figure grow more distant, I weakly lowered my head and muttered softly.

“It’s not an act…”

I wondered if she heard my voice. Viviana’s steps came to an abrupt halt in the distance. Unable to face her cold gaze again, I kept my head down and pleaded earnestly.

“Please… don’t leave me…”

Since I couldn’t see Viviana’s face, all I could do was suppress my trembling and wait anxiously for her response.

Viviana remained silent for a while. But soon, she broke the quiet and approached me.

“…Oh, really.”

She frowned deeply.

Clicking her tongue briefly, she sat back down in the chair.