Chapter 32 – Roholon Defense Battle (5)

I led Rubia toward the heart of the village.

Thankfully, her wounds were gradually healing.

Yet, my mood showed no signs of improving.

I still couldn’t understand her actions.

“What were you thinking?” I asked, my voice as cold as ice. “What if you had died?”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Rubia replied softly. “I can’t die… I won’t die…”

No.

That wasn’t true.

In the game’s lore, Rubia wasn’t immortal.

She could die if she ever gave up. She could die at any moment if she let go of everything.

The fact that she was still alive, even after all this… No matter how much she claimed to hate it, to despise it all…

It meant she still cared for this world. It meant she still had regrets.

“Noah…?”

“Yes.”

Rubia frustrated me. She annoyed me. She was being stupid. And foolish.

She said she hated the world. She said she hated people. She said she didn’t want to save anyone.

But she’d been betrayed again and again.

So why didn’t she just give up?

Of course, I didn’t want Rubia to give up. She shouldn’t give up. I didn’t want her to break.

But still…

I almost wished she would. I wished she would value herself more. I wished she wouldn’t end up like my father, abandoned and left to die by the very people he protected.

A hero… Isn’t supposed to die like that.

A hero is supposed to live forever in people’s memories. They’re not supposed to be forgotten.

“Why… Why are you angry at me?” Rubia asked, her voice trembling.

I split the goblin in front of me in two. Then, I ripped apart the one behind it, tearing off its limbs.

“I’m not angry,” I lied through gritted teeth.

The loud screeching of an orc grated on my nerves.

I jammed my greatsword into its mouth. Over and over again, I stabbed until there was nothing left but silence. Brain matter splattered onto my hand, still intertwined with Rubia’s.

“Ugh… Noah…!” she gasped, recoiling.

I wiped my hand roughly on my clothes.

Then, I pressed on, dragging her with me. Heading further into the heart of the village.

Each time a beast approached, I severed their heads, tore open their torsos, ripped off their limbs. I grabbed their weapons and threw them, stabbed with them, crushed with them.

My mind, broken beyond repair, sought out the villagers’ screams.

I searched for them obsessively. I expanded my senses, drawing the scene in my head.

Dead people filled the picture. Corpses. Limbs. Remains no longer recognizable as human.

I felt nausea rise up inside me. I erased the images from my mind.

I looked for the living. I drew out those who could still be saved.

Though covered in blood, many mistook me for a monster. An ironic situation.

Still, I saved as many as I could. I sent them to safer places.

And finally, we reached the center of the village.

I expanded my senses again.

There were still a few adventurers hunting monsters.

Were they the ones who had defended the gate, retreating only when their formation broke? Or were they the ones who had stayed behind, unable to overcome the guilt of their cowardice?

I didn’t know.

I squeezed Rubia’s hand.

“Did some adventurers stay behind until the end?”

“A few…” she whispered. “Not even twenty… But I told them to leave.”

“Why?”

“They were going to die. And me… well, as you saw earlier…”

I gripped Rubia’s hand tighter. Tight enough that a small groan escaped her lips.

“If I do this, doesn’t it hurt?” I asked, my voice dangerously low.

“Ugh… Ah… It hurts!” Rubia winced. “Why are you doing this?”

“Rubia, you get hurt just like everyone else, so why did you act like that?”

I tightened my grip even more. Tight enough that Rubia’s hand should’ve broken.

But Rubia didn’t get angry. Instead, her voice remained soft. Like none of this was my fault.

Her voice was warm as she spoke to me.

“Noah… You did the same thing for me, didn’t you? You got hurt so badly just to protect me.”

“And what am I to you, to make you do that?”

I have a reason to protect you. I’m still searching for the answer. The answer I’ve never been able to find.

I have to stay alive until I find the answer my father left me with.

But you… You don’t.

“As I said before, Noah…” Rubia’s voice was gentle. “You’re my guiding star.”

Again. Again, she says something that reminds me of the past. That reminds me of my father and my mother.

She says it like it’s nothing. It makes me feel sick.

I loosened my grip. Rubia carefully pulled her hand away, rubbing it gently. But she never took her eyes off me.

She didn’t seem to resent me.

An orc lunged at Rubia, and I swung my greatsword. The orc’s guts, blood, and flesh splattered all over her.

She gagged, her body trembling.

“Ugh… Noah…” she choked out. “Be a bit more careful…”

“Ah, sorry,” I muttered, not meaning it.

I did it on purpose. Out of spite. Because it annoyed me… Because it made me angry for no reason.

I hated Rubia for making me like this.

I expanded my senses.

I could see Luchi and Heinzel slowly making their way over from the south.

Ahead of them, a gold-ranked adventurer was still fighting off monsters.

The villagers’ cries echoed around us.

Screaming about why we’d arrived so late. Demanding that we save their children, their parents, their families. Their grief-stricken wails blamed us for their deaths.

Their misplaced rage was directed at the few remaining adventurers.

Luchi and Heinzel ignored it all, accustomed to such things.

But the gold-ranked adventurer… He couldn’t brush it off.

Slowly, the villagers’ despair was starting to weigh him down.

“There’s a gold-ranked adventurer,” I noted.

“Ah… Yes. He stayed and fought to the end.”

“But he still ran and left you behind.”

“I told him to go,” Rubia insisted. “It’s not his fault.”

I swung my greatsword casually, cutting down another beast as it charged. Its guts spilled onto the ground.

“Rubia.”

I didn’t want Rubia to harbor any strange thoughts. I didn’t want her to become twisted. I didn’t want her to crumble after watching the person she followed fall apart.

I wanted her to live a better life than I had.

And in the end… I wanted her to give me the answer.

“Yes…?” she looked at me, her eyes wide.

So, I had to tell her. That I wasn’t saving people out of some sense of duty. That I was acting out of pure stubbornness.

“I have to save people.”

Rubia tilted her head, confused.

“It’s not because of some hero complex. It’s not out of a sense of justice. I don’t want to do it either. I’m scared. But…”

How do I explain this?

The mental illness, the compulsion, the chains my parents left me with…

It’s a mix of… Madness. Obsession. Desperation. Despair. Hope.

“This… is my reason for existing.”

This isn’t a clean feeling like a sense of justice. It’s something filthy and twisted. Covered in ash and dirt.

It’s a stubborn, persistent fixation.

“So don’t feel guilty, or responsible. I’m not saving these people out of pure intentions. It’s just… Ah, whatever.”

Luchi and Heinzel were drawing closer, waving.

“I’m not going to die, so don’t make a fuss.”

I left Rubia’s protection to Heinzel and Luchi.

“Just watch. Watch the person who promised to protect you for life.”

I closed my eyes, expanding my senses again.

“Watch what I can do.”

I drew the entire village in my mind. I drew the monsters. Thousands of them.

Thousands of monsters that those damn adventurers hadn’t even managed to kill half of.

Their bodies, their muscles, their veins, and the blood that flowed within them.

An orc swung its axe with the muscles of its shoulder and back. Luchi’s blade cut it down.

A goblin ran at me, its legs moving in rhythm. Heinzel’s halberd crushed its skull.

The heartbeat of the excited adventurers who were still fighting.

The movement of every living thing. I could feel the precursor to every action.

“Don’t die. Don’t even think about dying. Don’t break. Live forever.”

I charged into the monsters.

I stomped on a goblin’s head, diving into the mass of beasts.

I read the movement of their muscles. I dodged with the smallest motion possible.

Then I struck. I struck at their weakest points. At their vital spots.

I swung my greatsword.

I didn’t feel it. But they were cut.

I moved on to the next monster. Parrying their attacks, I struck downwards.

Still, I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel the pulse of the beasts.

My dry lips felt like they were cracking as I licked them, continuing my onslaught.

My blood-soaked greatsword rampaged.

An orc’s axe. A club. A hand. An arm. A leg. A head. Intestines.

All of it floated in the air, mixing together.

The villagers’ screams were drowned out by the monsters’ wails. The despair of the village was buried beneath the death of the beasts.

Once more, I swung my greatsword. My legs carried me forward. My body moved before my thoughts caught up.

As I moved, I thought.

I scattered my strikes, splattering blood.

A goblin’s spear pierced my thigh. The blade arced through the air, crushing the goblin’s skull.

An orc’s axe smashed into my shoulder, shattering the bone. My left hand reached out, ripping the orc’s eye from its socket and twisting through its skull.

Using the orc’s body, I swung it, smashing the surrounding goblins.

Retreating a step, I deflected every attack that came my way. I felt a pillar of a building press against my back.

There was nowhere to run. I needed to tear it down.

I recalled the feeling from when I had collapsed the wall.

In the span of a second, dozens of spears, swords, fists, and claws were flying toward me.

Luchi’s ability cut through them all.

I focused my senses. I honed my awareness.

I sought out their weak points. I drew a line in my mind and cut through it.

The building crumbled. The ground caved in.

Debris came crashing down toward me.

I envisioned my movement. I mapped out the most efficient action for this moment.

Following the mental path I drew, I swung my greatsword.

The falling rubble was cleaved apart. Fragments scattered and flew in all directions.

The beasts caught by the flying debris were crushed.

I stomped my foot down, drawing in a deep breath as dust filled my lungs.

I swung my greatsword again. It met the weakest spots of the beasts around me.

Their bodies tore, blood splattering everywhere.

An elite orc’s hammer swung toward me.

I couldn’t dodge. I couldn’t deflect. I couldn’t parry.

I recalled Luchi’s movements in my mind. I mimicked them with my body.

Using the greatsword, I let the force of the hammer slide past me, flowing like water.

The hammer buried itself in the ground beside me. I used it as a stepping stone, running up the orc’s arm and driving my sword into its mouth.

Kicking the hilt of the sword, the orc’s head and spine were torn from its body.

I slammed the blade into the ground as I landed.

Dozens of goblins exploded from the impact.

Nausea rose in my throat. I struggled to keep my consciousness from slipping.

Blood continued to pour from my mouth.

A crack ran down my leg bone. I visualized a more efficient movement.

I swung my greatsword. I killed more beasts. I kept killing.

My head felt like it was on fire. My whole body screamed in pain.

Thanks to that, I didn’t lose consciousness.

Slowly, my senses began to narrow. The images I’d drawn in my mind grew blurry.

But I kept going. One more beast. One more drop of blood.

I moved my body.

An orc’s fist slammed into my side. I tumbled across the ground, blood spraying from my mouth.

My ribs had shattered. They pierced my lungs.

I couldn’t breathe.

I fumbled for a potion and downed it. It surged back up, mixed with blood, but I forced it down again.

I gripped my greatsword tightly.

I bit into the waves of beasts surging toward me.

I fought until there was nothing left. Until the waves subsided. Until everything was finished.

My body didn’t stop. It kept aiming for the monsters’ weak spots. It kept swinging my greatsword.

No more weak spots appeared. There were still countless monsters all around.

But that didn’t matter. I would just keep swinging.

I focused my senses on my body. I controlled my every movement.

No wasted energy. There was no room for extravagance.

I traced the most efficient line and followed it.

I swung my greatsword.

I kept swinging until nothing got in my way. Until there was no more blood splattering my body.

I scattered every last ounce of my strength.

***

The weight of my greatsword had disappeared.

I could no longer feel anything through my senses. I could no longer feel anything with my body.

Everything had broken and shattered. All that remained was the sword’s hilt.

Still, I kept swinging.

And then…

It wasn’t a monster I struck.

It was Rubia’s arms.

I collapsed into them. I fell.

I wanted to hear Rubia’s voice.

But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t hear anything. Not the screams. Not the despair, not the pain. Not even the monsters’ howls.

The only thing I could hear…

Was Rubia’s quiet sobbing.

I smiled weakly. I reached up and wiped away her tears.

Then, forcing my broken throat to produce a sound, loud enough for Luchi and Heinzel to hear, I choked out:

“I’m first… So, you owe me dinner…”

And with that, my consciousness faded to black.