Chapter 32 : Me and Me

It was raining.

Thin, transparent raindrops lightly scattered in the air, then soon became heavier.

The raindrops that fell on the road spread out in round circles.

The wet air brushed against my skin.

In the rain, a girl with curly hair and pink eyes appeared. 

She looked just like me.

Then I realized. 

This is a dream.

I was dreaming.

And in the dream, I was looking at myself.

As if I were watching myself from a parallel world.

The “me” in the dream.

As if she were a separate being, I couldn’t feel her emotions.

It felt like looking into a mirror.

Same face, same gestures, same eyes,

but somehow, she felt subtly unfamiliar.

The “me” in the dream. 

I’ll just call her Jian2 to avoid confusion.

Jian2 was standing in the rain without an umbrella.

Her hair was wet, sticking to her forehead, and her damp clothes clung to her body.

Even so, she didn’t move.

Where her gaze was directed,

there was another person standing.

A man was standing there.

He had a familiar appearance.

It was none other than Yoon Jihoo.

Yoon Jihoo was nodding to the woman standing next to him.

She was also familiar.

It was Nayul senior.

The way they faced each other seemed warm.

It looked like they were enjoying themselves, being kind,and it felt as if being with each other was completely natural.

Unlike Jian2, they both were holding an umbrella.

Jian2 quietly lowered the hand she was holding up.

Her gaze turned to Yoon Jihoo. 

No, more precisely, it was on Yoon Jihoo’s hand.

His hand holding the umbrella. 

And below that hand, Nayul-senior was smiling kindly.

The tips of Jian2’s fingers twitched very slightly. 

But soon, the tension left her hand.

Her lips parted slightly, then closed again. 

She didn’t say anything.

As I watched her, I suddenly let out a bitter laugh.

Doesn’t this look like I’m secretly in love with Yoon Jihoo?

It certainly felt like a dream.

‘Me, in love with Yoon Jihoo?!’

Just imagining it made me gag.

What kind of ridiculous dream was this?

But despite my thoughts, Jian2 didn’t move.

Her fingertips trembled slightly. 

Cold rainwater ran down her palm.

What kind of thoughts was she having as she watched them? 

What feelings was she experiencing?

I couldn’t know. 

Because she and I were the same, yet different beings.

Looking down, I saw a puddle.

An image of a similar situation came to mind.

On a rainy day, I was standing under the umbrella that Kim Dohyun had given me.

The handle of the umbrella I held in my hand.

The unfamiliar warmth that blocked the rain.

That memory came back to me.

If Kim Dohyun hadn’t been there—

Would I have been standing in the rain like that, like the “me” in that dream?

The scene in the dream changed.

I saw a practice room in front of me.

The mirror reflected the light, sparkling brightly.

In the mirror, two people were dancing in sync.

Each step, each movement was perfectly in time, moving without a single flaw.

And Jian2 was

watching them from the corner of the room.

In the mirror, there were the two dancers,

and the image of Jian2 watching them.

Jian2 didn’t move.

Quietly still,she followed their movements with her eyes.

Nayul-senior took Yoon Jihoo’s hand.

Gently, naturally.

And Yoon Jihoo, without hesitation, led Nayul-senior.

Jian2 looked down at her own hand.

The tips of her fingers twitched very slightly.

It looked as if she were looking for someone to hold her hand.

At that moment, Jian2 raised her hand to wipe her face. 

She wiped away something, maybe tears or sweat.

Her fingertips were shaking.

Drip.

Something ran down her cheek. 

An emotion she couldn’t wipe away, couldn’t hold onto.

A droplet clung to her chin.

Once more,

Drip—.

And then,

Crash—

With a cracking sound, a huge crack appeared in the mirror.

The mirror split into two.

One reflected Jian2, and the other reflected me.

When practice ended, there was a can of soda placed next to the door.

A trace left by someone.

I stared at the cold can in the empty practice room.

I stood there holding the can, lost in thought.

The space was empty, yet for some reason, it felt full.

I lifted my head and smiled.

If Kim Dohyun hadn’t been there,would I have even had that can?

Would I have been like Jian2, with my head lowered over there?

Would I have let small droplets fall as if releasing something I’d been holding inside?

Jian2 looked strangely empty. 

She looked lonely.

The scene changed again.

It was night.

From afar, fireworks went off.

Colorful lights filled the sky.

The fireworks exploded loudly, brilliantly, blooming and fading in an instant.

Below them were two people.

Two people standing side by side, looking up at the sky.

Their shoulders touching, talking to each other and smiling.

Once again, Jian2 stood still.

She didn’t even look at the glowing sky.

Jian2 was watching them.

Her shadow was swaying.

Every time the fireworks bloomed in the sky, Jian2 swayed with the light.

Each time a firework exploded, her shadow grew longer, swayed, as if it might disappear.

Jian2 smiled. 

The corners of her lips went up, but her eyes didn’t smile.

The fireworks reflected in her wet eyes. 

They spread like watercolor.

A watercolor scene. 

The protagonists weren’t her, but those two. 

Yoon Jihoo and Nayul-senior, smiling. 

Their lifted lips, their softly curved eyes. 

Their natural smiles.

And then I realized. 

Jian2 was smiling now, but her shadow was crying.

She lifted her lips in a smile, but her shadow swayed little by little.

Faintly swaying!

The fireworks exploded brightly.

Jian2 quietly sighed. 

It felt as though the sigh had a burnt smell.

She slowly turned her back, stepping away from the two.

It seemed like our eyes met.

At that moment, Jian2’s lips parted. 

Then, the me in the dream spoke.

As soon as I heard those words—

I swallowed.

“Are you happy?”

A quiet, questioning voice.

And I answered, as if nothing was wrong.

“I think so.”

The me in the dream nodded slightly.

Very slowly, very quietly.

“Do you like that person a lot?”

I didn’t hesitate.

There was no need to think.

I smiled brightly.

“Yes.”

At that moment, the me in the dream stared at me silently.

Just as I was starting to feel something strange about her gaze, she parted her lips and spoke softly.

“Really?”

A soft, yet distant voice.

And then, almost as if she were talking to herself, she continued.

“I envy you.”

Another firework exploded in the night sky.

The light illuminated me.

And the me in the dream, quietly said,

“Do your best. Unlike me, you seem to have a chance.”

For a moment, the air stopped.

Was I breathing?

The night sky was dyed with fireworks, but everything felt quiet.

The me in the dream turned her gaze away and looked at the darkness.

In the night where the fireworks had faded, only calm darkness remained.

“Don’t run away. Keep chasing after it stubbornly. Regret always comes one step too late.”

The me in the dream gave me one last look.

Her gaze slowly faded and became dimmer.

Then suddenly, a light sensation brushed past.

An unfamiliar voice whispered.

“Will you still find me then?”

The voice vanished in an instant—

and I opened my eyes.

The room was quiet.

Faint morning sunlight was coming through the window.

The sound of rain that had been there just moments ago was no longer heard.

The light from the fireworks had also disappeared.

But,I somehow still felt damp.

I somehow still felt like I was shaking.

My head was foggy.

I had woken from the dream, but somehow it still felt like I was dreaming.

With my eyes half-closed, I looked at the window.

Outside, it was gradually becoming bright.

It was morning.

My body slowly reacted.

I pulled the blanket off and got out of bed.

As soon as my feet touched the floor, a cold sensation seeped in.

Still half-dazed, I opened the door and stepped into the hallway.

My body felt heavy, and my mind was still cloudy.

The afterimage of the dream seemed to still linger.

I descended the stairs in that state.

Every time my foot hit the floor, a dull sound echoed.

I needed to drink some water first.

I pushed open the living room door.

The cold air hit me.

I walked straight to the refrigerator, opened the door,

and reached out to grab a bottle of water, twisting off the cap.

I took a sip, another sip, quenching my thirst as I absentmindedly looked around the living room.

There was something on the sofa.

A pile of blankets.

Someone was lying under it.

I tilted my head.

No matter how I looked at it, it looked like a person.

“Did you drink again and come home late?”

I clicked my tongue and muttered.

It was definitely my sister.

Only she would sleep on the couch like that, with the blankets covering her.

She said she was going to leave work early, but I guess she had another drink yesterday too.

I put the cup down in the sink and walked toward the curtains.

The living room was dim.

If I pulled back the curtains, it would definitely wake her up.

“Hey, wake up.”

I casually brushed my hair aside and yanked the curtains open.

The morning sunlight flooded in.

The bright light filled the room.

“I said wake up.”

I marched over and stood next to the sofa.

The blanket stirred.

But she didn’t move.

With a sigh, I yanked the blanket off.

“Sis, how much did you drink yesterday—”

Suddenly, I felt a strange presence.

A familiar yet unfamiliar scent.

At that moment, someone emerged from under the blanket—

Kim Dohyun.

With messy hair, eyes still half-closed and twitching, and a face that seemed to still be half-asleep.

Kim Dohyun?

I froze.

For a moment, my mind went blank.

I stared at the person in front of me, blinking several times.

But he didn’t disappear.

Kim Dohyun stayed there.

Why?

Why are you here?

This isn’t your house.

This is my house.

I couldn’t speak, just staring down at Kim Dohyun.

He still had his eyes closed.

But when the sunlight hit him, he frowned and slowly opened his eyes.

“…”

We locked eyes.

Once again, my mind went blank.

Is this still… a dream?

I stood frozen, staring at Kim Dohyun.

But he was looking at me with his usual indifferent expression.

His slightly messy hair, his face still looking like he had just woken up.

He was half-covered by the blanket, looking up at me.

What is this?

I instinctively turned my head.

And then, I looked into the mirror and fell into a deeper shock.

What is this look?

First, my clothes.

A loose, carelessly thrown-on top.

Straps hanging off my shoulders. 

A hint of underwear visible.

First, I quickly adjusted the straps.

I was wearing a familiar gym shirt. 

When I slightly moved my arm, the wide sleeves slid down.

It was too big and loose for me.

Ah, this… isn’t this Kim Dohyun’s gym shirt? 

I’ve been caught wearing it even at home. 

Next, my hair. 

It was messy, but worse than that, it was greasy and a complete mess. 

I hadn’t even washed my face, so I looked completely disheveled. 

This… is a dream, right? 

I desperately denied reality. 

No, wait, that’s impossible. 

Why is Kim Dohyun in my house?

And he was even sleeping on the sofa? 

And I look like this? 

No matter how much I thought about it, it didn’t make sense. 

…It must be a dream. 

Yeah, this is still a dream. 

There’s no way this makes sense otherwise. 

I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them again. 

But Kim Dohyun was still there. 

And he spoke indifferently. 

“Did you wake up?” 

At that moment, I finally realized for sure. 

This… isn’t a dream. 

Kim Dohyun’s voice was husky and languid. 

It was low and soft, as if he had just woken up, so it sounded much closer than usual.

Like air settling on my skin. 

A voice with a unique charm. 

A voice I couldn’t have imagined with my weak imagination. 

The moment I realized that, Pop! 

My face instantly turned bright red. 

My cheeks were burning. 

My mind went completely blank. 

It felt like my limbs were curling up at the same time. 

And my heart started beating unusually loud. 

W-What is this…?! 

Why is this so close? 

Why does this feel so real? 

Why is this… why is this… 

“Ughhhhh!!!” 

I couldn’t hold it in anymore and screamed.