Chapter 31: My Heart Goes Thump-Thump
by fnovelpia
Elon Mengsk.
He was not only a CEO but also a star.
Every word he spoke sparked an avalanche of articles.
Shareholders cried and laughed.
With just his mouth, he could move trillions of dollars.
If one were to compare, he was like a gold dragon inhabiting America.
Such an Elon Mengsk mentioned Kang Jiwoo.
Not just once, but many times.
> Elon Mengsk (CEO of Tesla)
(A video of Kang Jiwoo dropping her hotdog and crying in the market)
(Translated)
“The fall of a hotdog.
This is more heartbreaking than any rocket crash.”
(A photo of a coin with Kang Jiwoo’s face photoshopped onto it)
(Translated)
“This is called the Jiwooping Coin.
Just kidding. It doesn’t actually exist.
At least, not yet.”
(A photo of Kang Jiwoo sitting on a chair)
(Translated)
“Here is a new alternative to democracy.
Lowering the minimum age for presidential candidates to under 15.
Imagine it—a world where all global leaders are adorable children.
This is true utopia!”
Crazy Rocket Man 3
“Please, just focus on the stock price.”
“This guy is why democracy is failing.”
“Why is everyone so serious? Honestly, it is funny.”
“I’ll admit it’s funny, but Elon saying stuff like this isn’t amusing. He should focus on management.”
“Poor Tesla shareholders. My life is happy because I invested in inverse stocks!”
“So, when is Jiwooping Coin coming out?”
Elon Mengsk, a billionaire.
His social media posts became a hot topic, drawing even more attention to Kang Jiwoo.
Thanks to him, some people were served a big plate of humiliation…
Specifically, the politicians who had been spewing venom at Kang Jiwoo.
Morning Radio News
“The problem with candidate Kang Jiwoo is her reliance on memes and emotional appeals.
Her influence outside the internet is nearly zero.”
The politician, Gan Sinaa, passionately argued, veins bulging in her neck.
The early bird strikes first, after all.
Her negativity campaign thrived on diligence.
“Some argue that candidate Kang Jiwoo is presenting a new political paradigm. What are your thoughts on this?”
“No one truly supports Kang Jiwoo. Among those claiming to be her supporters, how many actually care about politics?
When the actual vote happens, she’ll barely scrape single-digit percentages.”
“So, you’re saying it’s just meme-based consumption?”
“Exactly. Over half of those claiming to support Kang Jiwoo online are just bandwagoners.”
Gan Sinaa stung like a wasp, her sharp words making even the host sweat.
At that moment, the host interrupted with breaking news.
“We have just received news that Tesla CEO Elon Mengsk has posted a statement supporting candidate Kang Jiwoo.”
“What? Elon Mengsk? What kind of fake news is that…?”
“It’s not fake news. Posts are appearing in real-time on Elon Mengsk’s official account. Let me read one for you.”
The host suppressed laughter as he continued.
“‘Korean politicians targeting a child with negative campaigns should reflect on themselves.
They are child abusers, and Tesla will not sell cars to child abusers.
Korean politicians who have publicly criticized Kang Jiwoo will be banned from using Tesla for life.’
What are your thoughts?”
Gan Sinha, suddenly blacklisted by Tesla, was visibly flustered, despite her reputation for having thick skin.
It was natural.
Who would have imagined being publicly targeted by Elon Mengsk in their lifetime?
“Well, um… Korean cars are better anyway…”
“We’ll be back after the commercials!”
Thanks to Elon’s mention, the news buzzed all day long.
The online community was no different.
—
Title: Oh Yeah, Yeah, It’s Surprising but True
(A photoshopped image of Elon Mengsk and Kang Jiwoo together)
“Noona gets more support after negative campaigns.”
“Who knew Elon would step in to shield her, lolol.”
“I burst out laughing watching the news today, lolololol.”
“At this rate, isn’t Elon basically a lucky supporter of Jungbungi? lol”
—
Title: Gan Sinha’s Current Situation After Tesla Ban
(A video of Gan Sinha saying Korean cars are better)
“Gan Sinha, banned from Tesla, stammering about how Korean cars are better.
What kind of car does she actually drive?”
(A photo of Gan Sinha stepping out of a Tesla)
“Ta-da~ It’s a Tesla electric car!”
“LOL Tesla fan all along!”
“Kinda feel bad, lol.”
“Man, this is why comedy shows are dying out.”
“Ever since supporting Kang Jiwoo, my life has become so much more fun.
Now this is politics!”
The supporters fully enjoyed this joyous news.
There hadn’t been a dopamine rush like this in recent times.
However, the unease hadn’t completely disappeared.
Title: Everything’s Good, But the Debate Could Be Better
You don’t necessarily have to participate in TV debates.
It’s fine not to show up at all.
Sure, there’ll be criticism for avoiding the debate, but honestly, it’s 100 times better than going and getting beaten up like a dog.
If you’ve watched Jiwooping’s YouTube, you’d understand.
You can tell they’ve practiced hard, but let’s be real—it’s just elementary school level.
So why is the party sending them out?
I can’t figure that out.
The party’s dumb to begin with. Jiwooping is carrying everything, but when has a third party ever operated properly?
Jiwooping’s individual skill even got them a tweet of support from Elon. The problem is the party.
Namoodang or whatever—don’t send Jiwooping to debate, you fools!
Texts and calls—I’m protesting nonstop right now.
Even Jiwoo Kang’s supporters didn’t anticipate a positive outcome from the debate.
In fact, nearly everyone predicted a loss in the debate.
And it wasn’t unreasonable.
They simply hadn’t shown much yet.
Title: Bold Take—Jiwooping Will Win the Debate
I trust Jiwooping.
For some reason, I think they’ll dominate the debate in an unexpected way, lol.
How delusional can you get…
This guy’s brain is just gone at this point.
I’m Nylon Mengsk, and I downvoted.
Stop being a 4-billion follower fool. People like you are why Jiwooping gets more criticism.
Supporting Jiwoo Kang seemed to invite attacks.
It wasn’t out of malice.
These were reactions born from genuine concern.
These reactions weren’t limited to online platforms.
“Hey, are you seriously saying you’re going to vote for an elementary schooler right now?”
“Why not?”
“Man, I didn’t take you for someone this ignorant!”
“What the hell? Look, Jiwoo Kang is a legitimate presidential candidate, and even Elon Mengsk supports them. What’s the big deal?”
“That’s selling out the country! Anyone supporting Jiwoo Kang is a traitor!”
“If anyone’s a traitor, it’s you for constantly vacationing in Japan, you idiot!”
Arguments increased in bustling streets as the debate approached.
Drunken people would snap while talking politics.
These days, no matter where you went, it was noisy.
Amid this chaos, one undeniable truth emerged.
“This will be the most extraordinary TV debate ever.”
Unprecedented attention was focused on this debate.
Not just politically engaged people, but even those disinterested in politics and independents eagerly awaited it.
The debate wasn’t just a domestic affair; the entire world was waiting.
And there was only one reason for this interest:
“They say an elementary schooler is going to participate in the presidential debate! How could anyone miss that?”
Dopamine!
This was a tiger vs. lion-level spectacle.
No, maybe even beyond that…
—
Binggle
Looking down at the city at night, they swirled their glass.
The scent of rich milk mixed with a sweet fragrance wafted up.
Gulp.
They took a sip, just enough to wet their lips.
Calming their racing heart, they thought,
‘I’m nervous. If my mind feels this tension, my young body must feel it even more.’
They had experienced countless debates.
But this was the first time with such immense attention.
They had never imagined someone like Elon Mengsk would take notice of them.
While fascinating and amusing, they decided to set thoughts of Elon aside.
Now was the time to focus with utmost concentration.
“The debate is already tomorrow… Chu.”
The presidential debate was just one night away.
After one more sleep, they would head to the studio.
The script had been perfectly memorized.
But the problem wasn’t the script.
Could they handle impromptu responses well?
Could they avoid crying?
Would Bong Suhee’s strategy work effectively?
These three concerns stood out.
Thump thump…
Their small heart beat strongly.
Unexpectedly, it didn’t feel too burdensome.
Rather, there was a faintly pleasant excitement.
“This is going to be fun, Chu!”
This kid.
They were looking forward to the debate.
Perhaps it was influenced by their recent victory as the president of Kid Nation.
‘The moment I was elected president, I felt like I changed inside. It must have been a moment of growth.’
Their face appeared on countless screens.
Young Jiwoo Kang experienced it firsthand.
Becoming a president.
What had been the dream of party members until now…
In that moment, it had become my dream, the dream of Kang Jiwoo.
“Jiwoo Ping will become the president~”
Young Kang Jiwoo no longer gets dragged around by dreams.
Instead, she has embraced them.
“Then, I should practice before sleeping..!”
I pulled out my friends, Dolly and Clock Ping, and placed the two toys on the table.
“Starting now, we will begin the debate~ Hello everyone~”
I assigned the roles of competing candidates to Dolly and Clock Ping.
Pointing at Dolly, I shouted,
“Save Gidung!”
Then, grabbing Dolly, I shook her while answering myself.
It was a kind of one-person play.
“That’s too hard…”
“That’s how you do it. Don’t forget this time~”
“Wow! Jiwoo Ping is so smart! You could totally be president~”
“Thank you~ I will be the president~”
Playing both sides, I giggled to myself.
But the debate game ended there.
Now, it was time to seriously review the script.
The current time was 4:30 a.m.
Even though I hadn’t slept much, my mind was wide awake.
At this point, sleep was a lost cause.
I decided to give it my all until the end…!
“Candidate, you’re sleeping in the living room again…”
There lay Kang Jiwoo sprawled out in the middle of the living room, fast asleep.
Drool was dripping from her mouth, and beneath the table was an empty bottle of Heochu Ping Milk tipped over.
“Sigh. I told you not to drink so much of this… Candidate?”
“Mmm….”
Han Seoyoung folded a blanket and urged her.
“It’s time to get up~”
“I… wasn’t sleeping though…”
“What are you talking about? You’re clearly sleeping right now.”
“Just… had my eyes closed for a moment… yawn…”
“Really? Then how about opening your eyes now? You need to wash up. Today’s the day you’ve been waiting for—the debate day, remember?”
At the mention of “debate,” Kang Jiwoo’s eyes snapped open.
Rubbing her wide, startled eyes, she muttered,
“P-President debate…!”
The day of the second presidential debate, D-0.
The morning of the long-awaited day had finally arrived, a day that once seemed like it would never come.
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