Chapter 3: This is not a dream
by 000 000
For what felt like three hours, I had been doing nothing but cleaning.
At first, it was kind of fun and exciting to wash away the filth with an endless stream of water, but repeating the same motions over and over again was starting to get boring.
So, I plopped down on the somewhat clean floor, scratched my face absentmindedly, and stared at the still disgustingly dirty hallway stretching out before me.
“Huh? What’s this?”
Something caught on my finger.
I tugged at it lightly, and out came a familiar object—one I used to wear every day during that global pandemic.
“A mask?”
Wait, I was wearing a mask this whole time?
Well, I guess it makes sense since my game character was always wearing one too.
But this thing is kinda amazing.
How is a mask this comfortable?
Normally, wearing one feels stuffy, and your ears start to hurt, right?
Oh, wait. It’s a dream, so of course.
“Alright, let’s take it off…”
The moment I started fixating on it, it suddenly felt uncomfortable.
I yanked the mask off my face—
“Ughhh!”
An indescribably horrific stench hit my nose like a freight train.
Caught off guard, I hurriedly slapped the mask back on.
[Cleaning Mask (Lv. Max)]: The key to cleaning! This mask protects the cleaner from all kinds of foul odors and toxic air.
A system message popped up as I put the mask back on.
Protection from foul odors and toxic air…
So that’s why I hadn’t noticed the smell until now.
This hallway must be absolutely reeking.
But hold on a second.
“…Can you really smell something this vividly in a dream?”
A chilling thought flashed through my mind.
I mean, come on.
A stench this bad in a dream?
And not just any stench—a horrific smell I’ve never encountered in my entire life.
It felt… too real to be a dream.
Haha…
“…No way, right?”
I laughed it off as a joke, but an uneasy premonition lodged itself in my brain.
Tap-tap-tap!
“…Huh?”
Just as that ominous thought took root, a strange sound snapped me out of my reverie.
“Footsteps?”
The sound of someone running frantically echoed from the still-uncleaned part of the hallway.
My head was a mess with all these thoughts, but for now, I grabbed my cleaning tools, made sure my mask was secure, and headed toward the source of the noise.
As I trudged through the filthy, never-ending hallway, I spotted something that seemed completely out of place.
“A kid?”
“Haa… haa…”
A little girl, maybe six or seven years old, was sprawled on the floor, panting heavily.
She was so pretty she could’ve been a child actor, but her body was covered in wounds.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Dream or reality, I couldn’t just walk past an injured little girl.
I rushed to her side and checked her condition.
Her wounds are bad.
Her leg’s swollen, and she’s burning up with a fever.
I need to get her to a hospital…
Is there even a hospital here?
Whatever, she needs treatment—no, first aid first…
Wait, are her ears pointed?
Just as I noticed something odd about the girl’s ears, a new voice cut through the air from the direction she’d come from.
“Found you, you little rat!”
A woman appeared, and for some reason, she was furious.
“Ugh, this is so annoying! What even is this place? Filth that doesn’t come off no matter how much water I pour on it… You made me come to a disgusting place like this? I let you go for a bit of fun, and you dare act so cocky…”
What the hell is that?
I froze, staring at the stranger.
Her outfit was bizarre—she was wearing a voluminous robe, like she was cosplaying, and holding something that looked like a magic wand.
A large water droplet hung over her face, covering her nose.
“Who are you?”
She glared at me sharply as I held the little girl in my arms.
“Uh, I’m…”
Startled by the sudden appearance of this stranger, I tried to stay calm and introduce myself.
“…Black hair?”
But before I could, the fierce-looking woman noticed my black hair peeking out from under my cleaning cap.
A twisted smirk curled on her lips.
“What’s this? A half-breed? What’s a filthy mongrel doing in a place like this?”
“…Huh?”
Half-breed?
Mongrel?
What is she talking about?
“Whatever, I don’t care. Probably just some pest hiding out here. Killing one more mongrel won’t make a difference. Ugh, let’s finish this and get out of here.”
Whoosh!
“?!?!”
Without even waiting for my response, the woman muttered something incomprehensible and swung the object in her hand—a wand straight out of a fantasy comic.
A glowing blue magic circle appeared in midair, and sharp blades made of water shot out from it.
What the hell is that…?
It’s like… magic.
“Die.”
Shrrrrrr!
“Urk!”
The woman barked a short command and pointed her wand at me.
The water blades rocketed toward me and the girl in my arms like bullets.
Staring at the terrifying sight, I instinctively raised my hand.
The hand holding a mop.
[Dry Mop (Lv. Max)]: A dry mop perfect for wiping away moisture.
Whoosh!
“?!?!”
“Huh?”
The blades, which looked like they’d slice me in half, vanished in an instant.
“…What did you just do?”
The woman’s eyes nearly popped out of her head as she shouted in disbelief.
But I was just as shocked.
Could it be… the [Dry Mop]?
Did it absorb—or erase—those blades because they were made of water?
“You’re not answering, huh? A filthy mongrel dares…!”
Misinterpreting my stunned silence, the woman grew even angrier and swung her wand again.
This time, far more magic circles appeared in the air, spawning an overwhelming number of water blades.
“Damn it…!”
“Think you learned some petty tricks? That’s nothing compared to my real magic!”
Shrrrrrrrrrrr!
…I’m gonna die!
As the storm of blades surged toward me, every hair on my body stood on end.
And in that moment, I felt an overwhelming sense of dread.
This isn’t a dream!
I could feel thick malice, chilling murderous intent, and a suffocating sense of danger.
This wasn’t a dream—it was real.
I have to survive.
All extraneous thoughts vanished.
My brain, driven by an animalistic urge to survive, began racing at a frantic pace.
My eyes locked onto the [Dry Mop] in my hand.
…It’s not enough!
Even though it worked wonders just now, there’s no way a single [Dry Mop] could handle this many blades—
No, wait!
A possibility flashed in my mind.
I tapped the [Dry Mop], and the system window I’d grown sick of seeing appeared.
The item description for the [Dry Mop] popped up, but that wasn’t what I was looking for.
There it is!
[Cleaning Range Adjustment]
The “range adjustment” function.
In the cleaning game, tweaking the settings of cleaning tools could multiply their range several times over.
The downside was that the cleaning effect weakened, but depending on the situation, it was incredibly useful.
Max it out!
[Cleaning Range Adjustment]: Expanded 50x
Thankfully, I didn’t need to fiddle with it manually—the system responded to my thoughts alone.
Without time to read the details, I thrust the [Dry Mop] forward.
Whooosh!
“!!!!”
It worked!
My gamble paid off.
Every blade hurtling toward me vanished in an instant.
And…
“Ughhh!”
“Huh?”
The water droplet that had been covering the rude woman’s nose disappeared.
She must’ve been hit with the same stench I’d smelled when I took off my mask, because she gagged repeatedly, staring at me with trembling eyes.
“…Dispelled? Ugh… This kind of range… Urp…!”
Muttering something incomprehensible, the woman tried to endure the smell, conjuring another water droplet to cover her nose.
Swish!
“!!!”
But as I casually swung the [Dry Mop] through the air, the water droplet she’d just created vanished.
“What the—!”
Tap-tap-tap!
“!!”
This was my chance.
I still didn’t fully grasp the situation, but one thing was clear: this was my opportunity.
She might try to kill me again!
The fear of death spurred me into action.
I swung the [Dry Mop] repeatedly, erasing every water construct the panicking woman tried to summon, and charged at her like a madman.
“You—!”
The woman, who’d been firing off vicious attacks, stared at me in disbelief as I effortlessly erased her magic.
***
How is he doing this?!
Was this mongrel some kind of archmage?
Her water magic, which had earned her the title of chief mage at the Magic Tower before her exile, was being dispelled so easily…!
This is dangerous!
She’d only attacked lightly, as she always did when she saw black hair—the mark of a human half-breed—crushing them like insects on the roadside.
But to face such a disaster now…!
Ugh… I have to escape!
The unbearable stench made it impossible to think straight.
Overwhelmed, the woman—Arcana—began retreating, then turned and fled.
***
“Stop!”
I couldn’t let a lunatic who tried to kill me get away!
What should I do?
Damn it, she’s running—and she’s fast!
Wait!
[Pressure Washer (Lv. Max)]: A cleaning tool designed to remove filth with high-pressure water!
Another cleaning tool flashed in my mind.
While I’d been gleefully cleaning earlier, I’d discovered the [Inventory] function, just like in the game, and stashed the [Pressure Washer] there.
Click!
I opened the [Inventory], pulled out the [Pressure Washer], and yanked the trigger, just like when I’d used it to clean the hallway earlier.
It should be enough to slow her down!
Whoosh!
A tremendous jet of high-pressure water shot out from the nozzle—
Thud!
“…Huh?”
“Urk!”
And pierced straight through the woman’s body.
[Next Chapter]
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