Chapter 29: Memories That Are Not Memories

“Okay, here we are.”

“Wow…”

The restaurant Se-young and I came to was a Western-style restaurant I’d visited once before.

“This place doesn’t really match your usual image, Senior, does it?”

“What’s my image like?”

“I got the feeling you’d like a Gyeongyangsik restaurant…”

Why not just say I look like I’d down a Ssanghwa tea with an egg yolk in it at a teahouse?

…I couldn’t bring myself to say that. Because it was true that I liked Gyeongyangsik.

“I didn’t find this place myself. I came here with someone else. You could say it was That person’s recommendation…”

“Who? By any chance…Team Leader?”

“Yes, Team Leader.”

The reason I knew about a restaurant I usually wouldn’t have any interest in was, of course, because of Team Leader.

Since becoming a woman, I’d been eating lunch with Team Leader almost forcibly, and I’d learned about several famous restaurants, half willingly, half unwillingly.

This restaurant was one of those places. The prices were quite high, but the taste was incomparable to any other Western food I’d ever had. A top-notch restaurant.

“I’m paying for lunch, so don’t feel pressured and order whatever you want.”

“Then, can I order this? The ribeye steak.”

“…Could you go easy on me?”

Of course, the price was as high as the taste was good. If you ordered this and that without thinking, your wallet would be emptied.

It was a place that a lowly salaryman with a poor wallet shouldn’t even be able to set foot in. Knowing that, the reason I came here was just…if I was going to treat her anyway, wouldn’t it be better to treat her to something delicious?

“Hehehe…Oh, right. Senior, there’s something I’m curious about…”

“Yes?”

Se-young, who had been looking at the menu with a very mischievous expression, suddenly stopped smiling and asked me.

“What’s your relationship with Team Leader?”

“…Oh.”

And she asked me a very surprising question, one that was obviously natural and valid, but still very surprising to me.

“This is the first time. Someone asking about my relationship with Team Leader.”

“Was that…a rude question?”

“No, it’s not that. I’m just genuinely surprised.”

We’ve been eating lunch together not just once or twice, but constantly, almost every time, and not a single person finds it strange.

I found that strange, but on the other hand, I understood it. It just meant that the image people had of Team Leader was that strict and mechanical.

But Se-young hadn’t been with the company for very long. Unlike the others who were used to Team Leader, who, frankly, didn’t even see her as a person anymore, it meant that she still saw Team Leader as a person.

“I wonder. What kind of relationship is it?”

“Ho, perhaps…lovers?”

“Does Team Leader look like someone who would be in a relationship to you, Se-young?”

“Ah, that’s definitely not the case.”

…I almost spat out the water I was drinking.

No, I thought that since everyone else thought that way, this newbie would see it similarly, but to be so firm in her response?

“Judging from her usual image, it’s hard to imagine. Cha Hyewon, Team Leader, dating someone.”

“Right? I’m not the only one who thinks that way, am I?”

“Yes. But there’s no such thing as ‘never’ in this world.”

What I’ve learned while working with Team Leader and various other people is that everyone has a three-dimensional side to them.

The Head of Department, who seems like a nice person, is a squid-headed devil who enjoys the screams of his subordinates, and the Director who deleted an entire game server and caused an uproar is being sincerely praised as a god, not sarcastically.

Team Leader, no, Cha Hye-won, isn’t just strict and cold. I know that now. Unlike her image of someone who wouldn’t bleed a drop of blood if you stabbed her, I know that she’s someone who can shed tears.

“Does that mean…”

“We were lovers, but we broke up.”

Ironically, I only came to know that side of her after we broke up.

“….Oh my god.”

Se-young let out a short exclamation with her mouth wide open.

“So, ex-girlfriend…is what you’re saying? That Team Leader?”

“Isn’t it not that surprising?…Is it that surprising?”

We weren’t exactly a loving couple, but still, one side confessed and the other accepted, so we were lovers.

“…But is it okay to tell me that? It’s an office romance. What if I spread rumors…”

“It’s okay.”

I can’t say that Se-young is someone who can keep her mouth shut…but it doesn’t matter.

“Because no one will believe it anyway? Even if you spread rumors.”

“I guess that’s true.”

After all, even if such rumors spread, people wouldn’t be able to believe that Team Leader was dating someone, or even just dating in general.

“Even Se-young doesn’t seem to believe it that much right now.”

“Of course. What crazy person would think that Team Leader is dating someone?”

That’s how firm Team Leader’s image is. The image of a machine that someone programmed and designed for company work.

“If you really can’t believe it, you can ask Team Leader. If you have the courage to ask.”

“I’d rather be told to quit the company…”

But even if it was just a superficial relationship, we were still lovers, and at the time, I was filled with very anxious and nervous feelings, but looking back now, it wasn’t that bad, just a short memory and a time I could laugh off as foolish.

“Then how did you end up dating? Honestly, I can’t even guess which one of you confessed first.”

“Why?”

“Well, Team Leader would never say ‘I love you’ to someone first, and I don’t think anyone would dare to confess to her.”

Se-young’s words had some validity.

Not just in terms of love confessions, but Team Leader is someone who doesn’t usually talk to others first unless it’s necessary for work.

Someone else confessing their love to her first? That’s also an unbelievable story.

She’s someone who exudes an aura that even outsiders who have nothing to do with the company flinch and can’t approach whenever they see her. If a coworker confessed to that person, they’d be crazy.

“That’s right. That’s what people usually think.”

That crazy person is me.

“….This feels a bit like gossiping, but what were you thinking when you confessed to Team Leader? Because she’s pretty?”

“That’s also true…”

It would be a lie if I said that her appearance wasn’t one of the reasons I confessed to Team Leader. If she wasn’t pretty, I wouldn’t have had any reason to fall for her in the first place.

Although there are aspects that aren’t well highlighted because of her personality, Team Leader is a beauty that anyone can see. It’s not just that I have rose-colored glasses on, everyone else thinks so too.

That’s why there are countless cases where new employees who come into the department initially have a crush on her beautiful appearance, but their hearts are broken because of her cruel work ethic. I almost had my heart broken a few times too.

“What influenced me even more than that was Team Leader’s personality.”

“…..You thought about confessing after seeing that personality?”

“It’s not like I fell in love with her for scolding people.”

But the decisive reason I fell for her was because of her personality.

“Team Leader’s sharp words aren’t just directed at us, at subordinates, are they?”

“Is that so? Now that I think about it, I think she had a big fight with the Head of Department last time…”

She’s someone who can confidently say things that are necessary for others, but that they don’t want to hear, without any hesitation.

Whether it’s a subordinate or a superior, she doesn’t discriminate when it comes to direct words. That’s why she often fights.

“That looked cool to me. To me.”

That confident appearance made me fall in love with her.

“I’ve been the type of person who can’t say bad things to others since I was young. That’s why I’ve been taken advantage of a lot…”

A person who’s like adding alcohol to alcohol, water to water.

To put it nicely, it means that I’m someone who fits in anywhere, but to put it badly, it also means that I’m someone who’s weak-hearted and easily taken advantage of.

“I hate it. That one word is too difficult for me.”

It’s partly due to the influence of my parents and the adults around me, and partly due to my innate personality. The number of times the words “I hate it” or “no” have come out of my mouth isn’t that many, even if I look back on my entire life.

“So I admired her. Someone who can confidently say ‘I don’t like this,’ ‘this isn’t right.’”

The first step of my unrequited love was admiration. Admiration turned into unrequited love over time.

…Although I know now that she’s not that strong of a person either.

“Well, that’s all in the past. It’s been a while since I was rejected…”

“You were the one who was rejected, Senior?”

“…I can’t exactly reject my direct superior, can I? That’s suicide.”

But our romance, which I thought was quite long, but which was too short when I look back on it, wasn’t exactly rosy, and the candle that didn’t burn very brightly went out without leaving a single puff of smoke.

“I was rejected without knowing the reason. I still don’t know the reason.”

Actually, I do know. I felt it more than enough that she didn’t love me.

It’s possible that she didn’t want to date someone she didn’t love, yeah.

“….Then, Senior, I’m just asking this. ”

Se-young, who had been muttering to herself for a long time as if she was worried about my lament, finally raised her head and asked me.

“If Team Leader asked you to get back together, what would you say?”

“….Get back together?”

…..Is that even possible?

I don’t know. If someone who’s already pushed me away reached out to me again and asked me to get back together, to come back into her arms…

“…Usually, the normal thing to do would be to say no, right?”

We didn’t match, so we broke up, and we didn’t match, so we went our separate ways. She pushed me away, and I was pushed away by her.

If the person who pushed me away like that reached out to me again and asked me to get back together, to come back into her arms…

“…Hahaha…”

Why am I even worrying about this?

It’s a little annoying.