Even If Nothing Remains Beneath The Grave…

Birth itself is a miraculous and blessed event.

However, if the end that follows is something to be feared, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that birth itself is a curse.

That’s why people imagined.

Even if this flesh rots and decays, the spirit alone will leave the body and live on in the afterlife.

Such hopes formed empathy and bonds, and as they were passed down through generations, eventually a myth was completed.

The god of the afterlife, Haide.

Having received human imagination, fear, and even longing for death for thousands of years, he…

Can surely be said to be the being who best understands death in this world.

‘My child. Soon, an era may come when I am no longer needed.’

But when the girl was actually chosen as the Saint.

The girl who faced his Halo in a private room couldn’t believe that he was truly the god of the afterlife.

‘Even before you faced me, many had split and fought, and in the end, realized that faith alone is not the solution to everything. So from now on, they will learn to stand on their own and rely on each other, without depending on beings like me.’

An era that doesn’t need gods?

Isn’t that in itself a prediction of one’s own death, or rather, the end of the order?

Is that really something to say to a priestess who serves the god?

‘It may not be immediate, but someday an era will come when people don’t depend on gods. And even if that leads to my disappearance, I will gladly accept such a future if it comes.’

Nevertheless, he spoke calmly to her.

He said that he had long wished for an era when the humans who had followed him would rise up by their own power, not by his hand.

And after a long time, finally, such an era was about to arrive.

‘So if you serve me, wish for such an era to come, and prepare to adapt to it. If such an era doesn’t come in your generation, be prepared to lay the foundation for future generations.’

But those who believe in a god must sometimes conform even to falsehoods.

She, with her mission as a priestess, tried to accept this teaching and went through preparations to adapt to the era that would unfold.

Like the previous Saints, she learned the doctrines of the order, and furthermore, to care for those who relied on the order, she learned about the political situations and politics of various countries, and thoroughly learned about their values and ideologies.

Although it might be just a concept, she firmly believed that this alone would give her the capacity to embrace all people in the world generously without prejudice.

‘What is this?’

‘It’s an anatomy textbook brought from the medical powerhouse. Would you like to read it?’

Yes, encountering that book was just an extension of such a process.

At that time, the believer merely conveyed the knowledge of the place where he had stayed, but coincidentally, she had already mastered knowledge that an ordinary believer wouldn’t know.

One of those was engineering.

Unlike magic that utilizes all things themselves, it’s an activity that gathers materials to manufacture something, and the representative of such defined technology was the weaving tool commonly seen in factories.

Devices that were just considered mysterious when she didn’t know the principles.

But just by looking at the blueprints that made up these machines, she felt the initial sense of mystery fading away.

Because she realized that everything once considered unknown had such a ‘design’.

Of course, mathematicians express admiration, saying such devices possess mathematical beauty, but what she actually recalled was the anatomy textbook she had seen recently.

Just with different materials…

There was no mistake in the fact that the human body was also made up of parts with various functions.

‘The human body functions with various parts complexly fitted together. Then isn’t that concept the same as a machine?’

Such doubts, at some point, led her to deny everything she had long believed in.

Even the contents of the scriptures based on the idea that God loves humans.

Because she felt that everything that had been explained only by the greatness of God, being an unknown realm, was now becoming an object of investigation, and the awe she had long felt towards the logic established from it was fading…

‘An era will come when I am no longer needed.’

But how could that be considered wrong?

Even the god she served had anticipated such a future, and moreover, wished for such a future to come.

‘Haide. I understand why you said such things.’

Yes, the Saint finally came to understand the meaning of what he had said.

She felt empathy for him, who had supported countless people all along, allowed many to meet a peaceful rest.

And who, having grasped the truth before anyone else, had spent thousands of years in solitude.

---

“…Seine-san.”

While the horse’s hoofbeats still echoed.

The Saint, embracing me, slowly began to open her mouth while resting her head on my back.

“You said that the afterlife doesn’t exist, right?”

Words that might have provided the trigger for her extreme choice.

Just hearing that, I felt my hands gripping the reins tighten even more.

“Is it because of me after all?”

“…No.”

“Because of what I said, everything you believed in was denied…”

“It’s not your fault!”

The Saint vehemently denied it before I could finish speaking.

Her voice raised uncharacteristically, but as if she suddenly realized her action, she slowly lowered her head resting on my back.

“It’s not your fault, it’s just…”

The trembling I felt from her was clearly transmitted.

The tightening of her arms around my waist as well.

“It’s just that I’m weak. It’s just because of my selfishness, wanting to know the truth of a world that even He denies…”

“Deny? You mean Haide denies the afterlife?”

Certainly a statement that many would question.

Even Haide’s believers wouldn’t think such words would come from the Saint’s mouth.

“…Lord Haide has always done his best to be an ideal god.”

But I could understand.

After all, I too was a clergyman who could, albeit inadequately, manifest a Halo alone like her.

I already understood that their existence was not something supernatural, but an object of reverence built up by humans over countless ages.

“He revealed himself to people who feared the inevitable future, and considered it his duty for people to find hope from that.”

Yes, their essence is ultimately nothing more than a divine image created by holy power.

The ones who know best that what should originally be there doesn’t exist are none other than the beings called gods in this world.

“But after the long war, people realized the limits of miracles. They can no longer solve everything with faith alone… so now they must learn how humans can help humans.”

So it’s something that was destined to happen someday.

That these ‘mortal beings’ called gods live in such fear.

“Even without that, everyone is trying to make it so. An era has come where people no longer gain hope solely through dependence on gods. Only those who will live in the future have gained the opportunity to live in such a world.”

“Sephin-san.”

“Then, what happens to the people who have already died?”

“…”

“…Over thousands of years, many people have gained hope under the help of our order. To the extent that there’s a saying that all those facing death are believers of Haide, at least in their final moments, everyone equally cultivated faith in Haide.”

Words continued despite the silence.

Relentlessly, to the point of seeming merciless.

“Our order, in response to such expectations, tried to transcend everything on the continent and embrace all people. This was the same even in the war that happened before you and I were born.”

An unprecedented number of casualties occurred in the war that continued until just two years ago.

That’s why they worked harder than anyone else.

If they couldn’t change this terrible era, at least to make the rest of those swept up in this inevitable disaster peaceful.

“But if… even if there’s the slightest chance that the Haide order didn’t exist…”

And the Saint realized.

That the value of all those efforts would be divided depending on the existence of the afterlife.

“Perhaps they wouldn’t have refused to go to the battlefield. Maybe the fight that engulfed the entire continent wouldn’t have become so cruel. Maybe they wouldn’t have tried to throw away their lives believing it was the right thing to do. All of that was because they firmly believed that there was a being who would embrace them in the end.”

To say it’s all over when you die.

Wouldn’t anyone consider it foolish to risk their lives for abstract concepts like greater causes or honor?

That’s why everyone affirmed Haide, and that’s why Haide could grow this big.

“But if there really is nothing after death… then have we desecrated their deaths?”

If that premise was actually based on a lie.

Haven’t those who couldn’t savor the moment they longed for so much been buried without the chance to know the truth, or even the right to feel despair?

“Will the one I serve be reduced to nothing more than a fraud who just deceived everyone?”

I understood.

As a believer myself, I couldn’t help but understand.

That this fragile being did such a thing, ironically, because her faith in the one she served was so strong.

A god feeling doubtful about his own existence in the changing times, finding it harder to see that resigned appearance…

That’s why she wanted to know the truth, even if it meant knocking on death’s door.

“…Sephin-san.”

What a pitiful situation.

Until just a few years ago, she was an acolyte who transparently accepted the doctrines.

In such a short time, she learned so much, and from that, could only suffer alone with the worries that arose, unable to share them with anyone.

Probably, in places unseen, she repeatedly did such acts until all the blood in her body was drained.

All the more so because external wounds could be healed as long as faith was maintained.

“If I may be so bold, could I ask your age?”

There was nothing about those feelings that I couldn’t understand.

I had such a time too.

All adults have gone through such times, or are going through them now.

“…I’m 18 years old.”

“Haha, that’s a good age. You haven’t even had your coming of age ceremony yet.”

Well, if she was an acolyte when the war ended, she must be quite young.

In such circumstances, it’s possible to lose rational judgment under the pressure of heavy responsibility.

“I had similar thoughts at that age too.”

“…You too, Seine-san?”

“The perspective was different, but it was similar. Isn’t it all over when you die anyway? We’re all destined to be buried in the earth and turn to dust, so why struggle so hard to live? Thinking like that… I just spent time letting things happen as they would.”

Yes, in my previous life, I was so overwhelmed with even taking care of myself that I viewed everything in the world negatively.

The life full of suffering from cradle to grave that adults talked about.

The terrible skepticism I felt from that led to a pessimistic view that broke even the will for desire and progress, and I ended up indulging in pleasures that sought only fragmentary stimulation, living just because I couldn’t die.

It’s okay to live like that. It’s all over when you die anyway, thinking…

“But, as I spent time like that, I eventually had this thought.”

I became an adult while wasting time like that, but that too is just a story of the past.

After coming to this world and experiencing various things, I came to realize one fact.

“What kind of thought?”

“That living like that leaves nothing behind.”

“…Leaving something behind?”

“Well, even if I disappear, this world will still exist.”

With a chuckle, I loosened my grip on the horse’s reins and looked back.

“Even if nothing remains beneath the grave… since we’ve been born into this world anyway, wouldn’t it be okay to leave at least a trace that I existed in this world?”

To face the one who will become a trace I left in this world.

The one I saved with my own hands.