Rubia

“That doesn’t mean it’s absolutely impossible to save her. There’s no such thing as absolute in this world. There is a way.”

Her unwavering blue eyes.

Within them, a light shone, more resilient than any other being.

“Just like ‘Noah’ did, no, this time, we have to do it in a completely different way from her.”

“A different way…?”

“Unlike her who turned this world back to the beginning. Go back to before Primavera became End’s Demon Beast, and one by one, for countless eons, Noah needs to work to prevent that timeline’s world from collapsing.”

The price for that.

“Is abandoning her name.”

A being with Divinity.

A being with the name of Divinity.

“Becoming a Nameless God, it’s possible.”

Equivalent exchange.

The fundamental structure of this world that even gods cannot defy.

Perhaps, something that could become a truth that penetrates everything.

“Of course, the being that swallowed my power didn’t abandon its name to do something righteous like Noah. That being was a Nameless Outer God from the beginning. But, if Noah were to abandon her name, she might lose her ego and become a being similar to that. No one can guarantee that outcome. However, one thing is certain… Noah will be forgotten from everyone’s memories. An absolutely Nameless God that no one can recall.”

Listening to Lilith’s words, I rummaged through my pocket and took out a small petal.

A petal left by Primavera.

Her wish that I hadn’t lost for countless eons.

The soul and karma accumulated in the infinitely repeating world.

I might not be able to save the beings of the forgotten world, but there is enough karma to start one world.

I saw it in Sirin’s memory, and I felt it after gaining Divinity.

How immense the power contained within this petal is.

What I can do with this petal.

I clenched the petal tightly in my hand.

But.

“It’s not enough.”

Lilith shook her head.

“To twist the karma that has already been twisted once, an even greater price is needed.”

A greater price.

‘I’ twisted the karma and turned back time by offering the [Aura] and souls of all beings who lived in that world. Furthermore, ‘Rubia’s’ soul and my own existence.

In the process, I hid numerous keys.

Keys for a me that is not ‘me’ to reach a proper ending.

Keys to exist as a me that is not ‘me’.

I probably paid a great price to prepare them as well.

“It wasn’t just Rubia’s soul, but Rubia’s soul with an [Aura] comparable to the Divinity of the Nameless One. And, although not as much as the current Noah, the ‘Noah’ at that time also possessed Divinity.”

The price for that.

All the karma and souls scattered throughout the world.

And the two Divinities that ‘I’ and ‘Rubia’ possessed.

What I have is.

All the karma accumulated so far and a worn-out soul.

And, my Divinity.

Lilith said.

She, who had existed as a god from the beginning, said that her existence was worth more than the Divinity she had lost.

Then I too.

My existence, which possesses a Divinity that can surpass Lilith’s Divinity.

Would be valuable.

Perhaps, more than my [Aura].

More valuable than what ‘I’ had paid as a price.

If only that were the case.

I could save ‘me’.

“That’s correct.”

As if my summary was the correct answer, Lilith nodded slightly.

“But, Noah doesn’t want to give up, does she? Neither ‘Noah’ nor Rubia. What Noah wanted was to be happy with Rubia and ‘everyone’. That’s why she’s here now. If she gives up on that here… she might lose her Divinity.”

Of course, I don’t want to give up.

I have no intention of giving up.

I want to return to Rubia’s embrace.

I want to live with her, smiling happily.

I want to greet the same morning with her for the rest of my life.

“So… Noah must not give up on that wish, and must endure in the darkness where the end is unknown, paying everything as a price. Endure for a time that may be eternal, and find a way. Without dying, without disappearing. Forgotten by everyone, alone.”

As a human.

An impossible task for a being with a human heart.

That’s why.

“There are beings like me, no, ‘things’ like me exist.”

Without knowing emotions.

Existed to protect and maintain the world.

And must continue to exist.

“That is, God.”

I raised my head and looked at Lilith.

The light that permeated her blue eyes, the light that I thought would never collapse, gleamed.

“It will be very different from what you expect. It can’t be helped. In the world Noah lived in, the gods she encountered in novels or games would have been omnipotent. That’s the kind of feeling the Nameless One wanted too. Well… if you enter the False Paradise, you might become an omnipotent god, but that’s a power limited to the False Paradise.”

In the slightly heavy atmosphere, Lilith giggled.

“A shelter for cowards… would that be easier to understand?”

“A, a shelter for cowards…?”

“Hehe. Of course, there are gods who deliberately open the entrance to the world and spend their time fighting Outer Gods, but those gods quickly break down. They become unable to fulfill their role as gods. Therefore, the majority of gods close their doors and look at their own world, and live, or rather, it would be more accurate to say they simply exist in that place.”

Her softly curved blue eyes looked at mine. She looked straight at me.

Not a gaze that looked somewhere else like before, but a gaze fixed straight at me.

I met her gaze and opened my mouth.

“Then, Lilith… why did you become like this?”

It was a question that could be a little sensitive, but I just asked. After all, whether I thought it in my head or said it out loud, it wouldn’t make a difference to Lilith.

“Because I broke down too.”

To that, Lilith replied as if it were nothing.

“I gained emotions.”

“Emotions…?”

“Yes.”

“Then, Lilith… you didn’t originally have emotions?”

“Of course. I was a very dry, cool beauty.”

…A cool beauty.

Lilith, who nonchalantly spat out a word that I could only hear in my world… Earth, shrugged her shoulders.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Am I not a beauty?”

Of course, she resembled Rubia… no, she looked exactly like Rubia…

“…Y, you are a beauty… but…”

“But?”

…The choice of words is a bit… makes you look old…

“Noah.”

“Nyehet…?!”

As expected… she read my mind.

…What should I do.

“I’m hurt.”

“I, I’m sorry…”

Lilith, who glared at me with a hurt expression, spread her arms wide.

“Eugh… that’s… no…”

“I said I’m hurt, didn’t I?”

“B, but…”

“Noah. Was Noah a bad person who ignored someone who was hurt and passed them by?”

“A, ugh…”

“Haa… I’m upset. I can’t help it.”

Lilith, who now started to lower her arms with a truly hurt expression.

I… I had no choice but to jump into her arms.

“Oh my, hufufu.”

It was fluffy.

Her arms, which naturally came up, hugged my body in a different way from Rubia.

If Rubia’s hug was like summer.

Lilith’s hug was like spring.

And, on the other hand, it was also like winter.

The slender fingers that roamed through my hair, rustling, touched the back of my neck.

“So, Noah… do you still want to save her?”

I, who was leaning on her soft and ticklish touch, slowly raised my head.

I met her blue eyes.

I looked at the red eyes reflected in them.

My hesitation stopped.

My thoughts stopped.

I just opened my mouth and answered.

“Yes.”

Her blue eyes wavered.

Her red eyes did not waver.

“…Why?”

“Because I want to.”

“But…”

“Uhm… it will be difficult. But still, I want to. Because ‘I’ was there, I was able to come to this place. And, if possible, it’s better for everyone to be happy together, right?”

That is.

That is.

That kind of person.

“Is a hero.”

And I.

“Am the protagonist.”

It was a slightly embarrassing thing to say, but I said it anyway.

After all, Lilith reads my thoughts.

After saying it, my face felt a little hot, and my body twisted, but… still, I looked at Lilith as confidently as possible.

Lilith, who looked at me like that for a while.

“I have a question.”

She frowned.

“How can Noah… be like that?”

“Wh, what do you mean…?”

Once. Lilith’s breath, deeply exhaled, touched the tip of my nose.

“In Earth, and here too, Noah must have had a hard time. Even in Earth… she was abandoned by everyone. But, why, can you have such a heart?”

“Such… a heart?”

“Noah, don’t you hate the world? The world that made you suffer for no reason, the people. Don’t you resent them, hate them?”

“…Uhm…”

I closed my eyes.

I slowly recalled my heart, my memories.

I thought.

I hate the world, the people.

It’s not that I’ve never had such thoughts.

When my parents passed away, when I was abandoned by my relatives, when I heard them say I was a burden.

When I couldn’t die as I pleased.

When no one stopped me from jumping off the roof several times.

When they didn’t let me die.

When they didn’t love me.

A person to love me.

A person to look at me.

A person to call my name.

When no one was left anywhere.

I thought I resented and hated everything.

That’s why I cried.

That’s why I suffered.

That’s why I was sad.

That’s why I despaired.

But.

Thanks to those things.

I was able to stop crying and smile.

I was able to overcome suffering and become happy.

I was able to find happiness in sadness.

And, in the dark despair, I was able to hold a hope that was brighter than anything else.

Thanks to that world.

Thanks to those people.

I was able to exist.

I. The current me.

Shin Noah.

I think I can be here.

So.

I can’t hate them.

I can’t despise them.

Those things are now a part of me.

And.

And.

Because it’s the world that allowed me to meet Rubia.

Because it’s the people that allowed me to meet Rubia.

Because it’s the world that Rubia loved.

Because it’s everything that made it possible for me to fulfill my dreams, my wishes.

I.

“I can’t hate them.”

I clearly opened my eyes, which had been faintly closed for a moment.

I looked at her blue eyes.

In the red eyes reflected in them, a conviction brighter than anything else gleamed.

“That’s really… a crazy conclusion.”

“Ex…”

“But that’s why I came to like Noah.”

Light sparkled in her wavering blue eyes.

Deeper and more intense than the conviction embedded in the red.

A light that could be called madness, beyond conviction, gleamed.

“Noah.”

Lilith’s arms pushed me away slightly.

Her face, which had filled my vision, moved away.

“Noah, you can’t be saved.”

The same words as before.

However, the target has changed.

“But, I can be saved.”

Lilith smiled.

She smiled brightly.

A smile so beautiful that it took my breath away.

A smile so bright and sincere that I could dismiss all the smiles she had shown so far as false smiles.

Lilith, who wore such a smile, placed one hand on her chest and said happily.

“The greatest price of all is here.”