Chapter 26: Freedom’s price

“Ugh…”

What were these humans using now? Not arrows, not bolts… Were they born to fight?

“…Hngh…”

I ducked behind a tree, a small projectile embedded in my shoulder.

“…Haa…”

The bleeding was profuse, the pain far worse than a simple arrow wound.

“Ahh…”

I couldn’t move my left arm.

“…Always the left arm… Haa… Straight through… What kind of weapon is that…?”

I grimaced, looking at the small face nestled against me.

“…Mama… Mama…!”
“…It’s okay… It’s okay…”

The baby, sensing my pain, started to cry.

“…Haa…”

The future looked bleak. I didn’t think I could protect this child in this world.

“…..”

She stared at me, her little face creased with worry.

“Haha… Seriously…?”

But somehow… it made me laugh. Her face, a mix of mine and the shaman’s… it filled me with a strange sense of… joy.

Just looking at her made me smile.

“…You’re not my child, are you?”

I peeked out from behind the tree, searching for my attacker.

“……”

They moved, their gaze shifting away as I looked out.

“…They think I’m dead… Newbies…”

I carefully stood up, holding the baby, and started walking.

“…..…”

I wanted to check on the shaman, but I couldn’t leave the baby alone.

“…Haa…”

I stopped, hiding in the bushes, looking back at the building.

“…..…”

I couldn’t see her soul clearly. It still glowed, but it was fainter now, harder to distinguish among the others.

“…Shaman…”

I couldn’t leave, not yet. I loved her too much.

“……”

And then I looked at the baby’s soul…

“…Haha…”

…radiant, luminous.

“…You poor child…”
“…Mama~!”

Like the beautiful, awe-inspiring soul I’d craved since I was born. If only this child had been there then… if only she’d found me… I wouldn’t have killed anyone.

Her soul was that pure.

“…..”

I sighed, pushing down the bittersweet longing, and continued walking.

“…If only you could hold her…”

If only the shaman could hold her child, smiling… I swallowed the words I wanted to say and kept moving.

Tap

“…..”

I needed to find a safe place.

“…..”

Somewhere harsh, unforgiving, a place no spirit would willingly go. But a place where this child could survive.

“…Haa…”

But such a place didn’t exist. There were places of extreme darkness, places of perfect peace, but…

“…Damn it…”

…nowhere safe for a child, unprotected.

“…..”

The wound on my shoulder was already closing.

“…Mama…”
“…Yes?”

The child was growing rapidly, already trying to call me “Mama.”

“…Person!”
“……”

I looked where she was pointing.

“…There’s no one there…”

She was pointing towards the cliff.

“……”

And then I remembered.

“…This is…”

I’d been wandering aimlessly, focused only on the child’s survival. I’d forgotten.

“……”

The Sacred Beast’s cave.

“…Hold on tight.”
“Okay!”

Hug

I scaled the cliff, the baby clutched securely in my arms.

I placed her safely inside the cave, then followed.

“…An unusual guest.”
“…Fwend?”

The Sacred Beast was there, playing with another child.

“…Person!”
“Fwend!”

The two children smiled and clapped their hands, instant friends.

“…They bonded quickly.”

I smiled, amused.

“…I never thought I’d see you smile like that.”
“……..I never showed it to you.”

The Sacred Beast greeted me, its tone slightly sardonic.

“…So, what brings you back to this forsaken place, Fox?”
“… “

I answered, my voice tinged with bitterness.

“…There’s nowhere safe for this child.”

“…This isn’t your child.”
“…You can tell, can’t you? Yes, she’s not mine. She—”

I started to explain, but…

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

…the Sacred Beast interrupted.

“…She carries a fragment of your soul.”
“…What…?”

I was stunned.

“Normally, a parent doesn’t pass on their soul to their offspring. A child is similar, but separate. A distinct being…”
“…”

And then…

“…That shaman… how much did she love you… Hahaha…!”
“………….”

I looked back at the path I’d taken.

“…Don’t even think about going back.”
“…….”

The Sacred Beast’s words stopped me. I turned back.

“…The shaman has moved on.”

It played with the children, its expression unreadable.

“…As a fellow servant of the gods… I can read her heart.”
“……..”

I sat down, defeated.

“…But you’ve done well protecting this child. Just like a fox should.”
“…That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

I wasn’t completely devastated. Having another being like me, sharing this strange existence, was… comforting.

“…What will you do now?”
“……..”

The question caught me off guard.

“…This child is destined to be a shaman. If you raise her here, she will live a life hunted by death.”

I knew the flaw in that logic.

“…And if she goes to the human world… her fate will be the same…”
“…Indeed.”

Same fate, different world.

“…I wish… I could erase her destiny… so she wouldn’t have to become a shaman…”
“……..”

The more I thought about it, the more hopeless it seemed. How could I save this child?

“… “
“…The shaman… might know a way.”

The Sacred Beast spoke.

“… “
“…She is… wiser than I am… stronger…”

I looked at it.

“…I was merely stopping you from acting on your emotions. You hadn’t thought about what you’d do if you saw her, had you?”
“…Oh…”

It continued, stroking the children’s hair.

“…It’s a gamble. Nothing more.”

“She is alive, yes, but she is on the battlefield. You are… essential to us now. Without you… there is no wildcard in this war. So…”
“Don’t die. That’s the condition, isn’t it?”, I stood up, looking at my claws.

“…That’s my specialty.”, I smiled, looking out at the world beyond the cave.
“…..…”

“…I’m worried about you, Fox.”
“…I will bring the shaman back alive, too.”

I vowed.

“…She was mine.”

“…”

But it was the shaman’s forces that acted first.

Rumble

“Ugh…! What’s…!”

“How…?!”

An explosion above. The cave started to collapse.

Thump

“Here, little one…!”

I grabbed the baby from the Sacred Beast and ran for the exit.

Rumble

“Ugh…!”

A falling rock trapped the Sacred Beast’s leg.

“Sacred Beast!”

Smash

I cleared the debris…

“What are you doing?! You fool!”
“Ugh…!”

Rumble

…but the ground beneath me gave way.

“Fox!!!”

We fell.

Thump

***

“…Haa…!”

I woke up quickly.

“Mama…”

The baby was fine, thankfully, still in my arms, whimpering and reaching for me.

“It’s okay… It’s okay…”
“Mama…!”

I held her close, stroking her back, calming her down, my own heart racing.

“…Haa…”

We had to get out of here. I had to find the shaman.

“… “

But when I looked outside…

“…They’re everywhere…”

…the area was swarming with soldiers, their foul souls searching for our bodies.

“… “

The baby could see souls. I shielded her eyes.

“Little one, let’s play a game.”
“…Play~!”

She giggled.

“Ready?”
“Yeah!”

Crash

“Aaaaaah!”

I burst through the debris…

Tap, tap, tap

…and ran.

Rat-a-tat-tat

They fired at me, but…

“…You won’t hit me twice…”

…I could see their trajectories now. I dodged the bullets, disappearing into the forest.

Tap, tap

“Whee~!”
“Having fun?”

The baby laughed, enjoying the ride.

“…”

I ran towards the building where the shaman was, then…

Thump

“Haa…!”

…someone jumped out in front of me.

Rip

I tossed the baby into the air, ripped out the attacker’s throat…

Catch

“…Mama…?”
“…Are you okay…?”

…and caught her.

“Whee~!”
“…Heehee… That wasn’t part of the game…!”

She giggled.

“… “

I couldn’t smile. I was back at their base.

“…Haa…”

I hadn’t wanted to return, but the Sacred Beast’s cave was gone. I had no choice.

“…..”

I’d seen the Sacred Beast escape, carrying its child. I wasn’t worried. Not yet.

“…Close your eyes.”
“…Mm…?”

Protecting my child… that was my biggest concern.

“…It’s okay.”
“…Okay…”

But I would go on.

Thump

Even if it meant facing my past.

Stab, rip

“…”

I slipped into the building, silently taking out two guards.

“…..”
“…Intruder!”

They found me already.

“Damn… In my day, they wouldn’t notice six dead bodies…!”

Tap, tap

I moved carefully, searching for the shaman.

Rattle

“…Waaaaah!”
“Oh no, little one…!”

The baby cried out, startled by a guard passing by. I was discovered.

Rat-a-tat-tat

“Ugh…!”

I rolled across the floor, burst through the paper door…

Kick

“What the—?!”

…kicked the weapon away, still holding the baby with one arm, and impaled the guard’s throat with my claws.

Stab

“…Haa…”

Fighting a small army with one arm… that experience was coming in handy.

“…Live and learn…”

Immortality… it had its uses.

Tap, tap, tap

But they were closing in.

“…Damn…”

I darted between rooms, taking them out one by one.

Thud, stab

“…”

I kept checking on the baby, making sure she was covering her eyes and ears. The close quarters and flimsy walls worked in my favor, but…

Bang

“Gah…!”

…in the chaos, a bullet struck my abdomen. I stumbled…

Smack

“Ugh…!”

…and a rifle butt slammed into my face, sending me sprawling.

Thud

“…”

They aimed their weapons at me, trying to take the baby, but…

“You will not have her…!”

These traitors… they would never get their hands on her. She was going back to the shaman.

Crack

I lunged, ripping apart the leg of the soldier closest to me…

Thump

“Haa…!”

…and tearing into the others.

Bang, bang

“Haa…!”

They fought back fiercely. I had to make a choice.

“…Do you really… want to walk again…?”

Drip

I was bleeding profusely from my abdomen, but they hesitated, unsure of how to approach me.

“……”

They didn’t back down.

“…Very well…”

I placed the baby gently on the floor, whispering in her ear,

“…Cover your ears… and close your eyes… tight.”
“……..”

She obeyed, bless her heart.

“…Sweet dreams.”

And then…

Rip, tear, shred

…I unleashed the beast. Three, four, five… dead in seconds.

“Haa…!”

It had been a while since I’d given in to my primal instincts. This time, though, there was a flicker of humanity within the beast.

“Haa…! Ugh…!”

But that flicker of humanity cost me. The pain in my abdomen intensified, making me falter…

Rat-a-tat-tat

“Gah…!”

…and then the bullets found their mark.

“Haa…!”

My head was spared, except for my cheek, but my body… I was a mess.

“Ugh…”

Thud

I collapsed, my body screaming in agony. I tried to move, but…

“…Ugh…”

…I was broken. Beyond repair. Even a miracle couldn’t fix this.

“……”

I gave up.

“…Haa…”

Click

A gun barrel pressed against my face. No miracles today.

“……..”

I turned my head, wanting to see the baby one last time.

“…Mama…!”

She was being led away by a woman.

“…Live…”

I tried to smile.

“…Survive…”

Live, and be happy. Even though I knew it was impossible… a selfish wish, whispered into the void.

Thud, thud

“… “

And then… heads started rolling, one after another, their bodies collapsing around me.

“Waaaaah!”

I checked on the baby. She was safe. And then I felt it.

“…You…”

A wave of relief, of overwhelming joy.

“…You finally came…”
“…..…”

She walked towards us, her face etched with worry, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“…You damn fox…!”

My shaman.

Tap, tap, swoosh

She ran to my side, her healing power flowing into me.

“How dare you take my child…!”

Her voice was thick with tears, but she was trying to sound angry.

“…You said… you’d kill me…”
“Shut up and let me heal you…!”

She wiped away her tears, her touch gentle, her focus unwavering.

“…Haa… Your healing touch… it’s always so effective… Amazing…”
“…What did you expect? I’m a shaman. And you’re a foolish fox.”

She looked at the baby, toddling towards us.

“…”
“…You’ve grown…”

She looked every bit the mother, a soft smile playing on her lips. I couldn’t stop smiling either.

“…Thank you… for protecting her.”
“…She’s made from my soul. It was my duty.”

I could barely sense my own soul within the child.

“…How… how did you… manage to… take so much… without me noticing…?”
“…You know me.”

I told her the truth, omitting the Sacred Beast’s involvement.

“…You still love me.”
“…Do I…? You… monster…”

The Sacred Beast had been right.

“…Really…?”

She was crying again.

“…D-don’t make that face…! You’re… making me…!”
“……….Really…?”

I smiled.

“…Haa… It doesn’t matter…”

The shaman looked at the baby, hesitant.

“…Little one… Mama’s here.”
“……”

I told the baby.

“…Mama?”
“…Gasp…”

The shaman’s hand flew to her mouth.

“…Yes. Your real mama.”
“…Real… mama…?”

The baby, remembering my words, toddled towards the shaman.

“…Mama…”
“…Yes…”

The shaman spoke,

“…I’m your real mama.”
“Mama!”

The baby reached out her arms, a bright smile on her face.

“…”

The shaman held her child for the first time, tears of joy streaming down her face.

“…Haha…”

I never thought I’d see this day. It felt like a dream.

Tap, tap

“…They’re coming.”
“…We have to go.”

The reunion was short-lived.

“Why… why did you come back for me…? After all that… bringing the baby, too…?”

The shaman asked.

“…I wanted to find a safe place for her.”
“…..…”

She thought for a moment.

“…Damn it, did you really think I’d know what to do?!”
“…It’s not possible…?”

She seemed frustrated by my simple request.

“…It is.”
“…There’s a condition.”

Her face darkened, but she agreed.

“…Let’s go to the temple. It’s the safest place right now.”
“…Alright.”

We had to move. Now.

Tap, tap

As we ran, I said something I’d been meaning to say.

“…You’ve become so strong.”
“…Don’t waste your breath. Just run…!”

The frail child who used to cling to me, her voice barely a whisper… She was a warrior now, her hands stained with blood, protecting what she loved.

“…Right…”

Even if… that no longer included me.

“… “

Just being near her… it was enough.

Tap, tap

“…We’re here.”
“…Haa…”

We reached the temple and discussed the baby’s future.

“…How can I… protect her…?”
“…Send her to the human world.”

The shaman had the same idea.

“But then…!”
“…That’s not it.”

But with a twist.

“…You know the conditions for a spirit to return to the human world.”
“…A curse… isn’t that how it usually works…?”

A curse. That’s what she was thinking.

“That’s because it goes against the will of the gods… But for a shaman… no, for the child of a shaman… destined for greatness… it’s different.”

She explained her plan.

“This child… she wasn’t even born in the human world. She belongs here. Like me.”
“…So…?”

I started to understand.

“I’ll exchange her destiny… for my death.”
“…What…?”

I didn’t understand.

“My curse, for defying the gods… it will fulfill the requirement. And I can change her fate, free her from becoming a shaman.”
“…But… then you’ll…”

Death was a release. I could endure immortality, my mind blank, but she… She was different. A shaman carried the weight of the world on her shoulders, a burden of knowledge and sorrow she’d bear for eternity.

“…Don’t be absurd.”
“……..”

She saw through my concern.

“What you can endure… why do you think I cannot?”
“……”

She smiled.

“…With you by my side… I can do anything.”
“……”

She was the true fox. Not me.

“…Let’s begin—”

Just as she was about to enact her plan…

Rumble

“Wh-what…!”

…the earth began to shake.

Crack

“…What?!”

The sky split open, a black fissure appearing in the heavens.

“…Already?!”

The shaman was shocked. I was, too. It was too soon.

“…The balance… it’s collapsing… this quickly…? How…?”
“…I was foolish… blinded by my emotions…”

The shaman blamed herself. The plan to merge the worlds, to eliminate the spirits… she hadn’t considered the consequences.

“…This is… the end…”

If the spirits died, the balance would be broken, and the Spirit World would collapse. And if the Spirit World collapsed, so would the human world, its reflection. Everything would be erased, returned to nothingness.

“……”

That was the divine order, the balance of existence.

“…Even if we go to the human world…”

The shaman’s voice was filled with despair.

Whoosh

Something descended from the sky.

“Roar…”
“…Sacred Beast…!”

The shaman gasped. I stared, awestruck.

“Fox!”

Thump

The Sacred Beast, in its dragon form, landed before us.

“Kill me…!”
“…What?!”

Kill it?

“If I die, the link between the worlds will be severed! The human world will be spared! Hurry! There’s no time…!”
“…No… We can’t… If you die… the spirits will have nowhere to go… It will be an endless cycle of suffering…!”

The shaman tried to argue, but…

“There’s no other way!”

The Sacred Beast roared.

“My child… like yours…! I can’t leave them behind…!”
“……”

The shaman looked at the baby, gazing back and forth between us.

“………I understand.”

She made her decision.

“…Fox… go first…”
“…Shaman…”

She wanted me to go first, to escape the curse.

“Just go!”
“……”

I didn’t want to leave her, but…

“If you’ve abandoned me once… have the decency to abandon me completely!”
“……”

…her words stung. I let the Sacred Beast carry me away.

“…I’m sorry…”

Whoosh

The world I arrived in… it was different.

“…What…”

I was a ghost, but… towering buildings, horseless carriages…

“…Humans…”

I smiled, marveling at their ingenuity.

But the smile faded quickly. I looked around…

“…Fox.”

…and found the Sacred Beast.

“…This is… your freedom.”

It stood beside me, in human form.

“…Kill me… and you will be free… from your curse…”
“……..”

Tears welled up, but I swallowed them.

“…You’ve done well… Rest now…”
“…Find your beloved… and be happy…”

It spoke words of farewell. I echoed them.

“…You both made it out safely… Now… do it.”

The Sacred Beast nodded.

“…I…”

I hesitated, wanting to say something…

Slash

“……..”

…then turned away, closed my eyes, and swung my claws.

Thud

“…I’m… sorry…”

The guilt, so long suppressed, surged through me. I bit my lip, trying to endure the pain.

“…Damn it…”

The agony of killing… It never faded. Mindless slaughter was easy, but killing someone good… someone innocent… it tore me apart.

“…..…”

The guilt… it was unbearable.

“……..”

I thought it would be over. That this would be my last kill. Not the mindless slaughter, but this… this necessary sacrifice.

“… “

Sparkle

The Sacred Beast’s body dissolved into shimmering particles of light, scattering into the wind.

“…Haa…”

I closed my eyes, letting go of the pain, ready to find the shaman. It was over now. Time to start anew.

“… “

The white spider lily in my pocket was wilting.

“…So it ends like this…”

It felt symbolic, a reflection of our fate. The pain intensified.

“……”

I tucked the flower back into my pocket, a memento I’d keep until it turned to dust. I was still bound to it, after all.

“…I have to find her.”

I started walking.

“… “

I couldn’t exist without them.