Chapter 25: Have We Become Close?

Satisfactory sleep is a surprisingly difficult task. Especially for students and office workers.

So much so that there’s a common saying that waking up feeling refreshed is practically the same as oversleeping.

“….!!”

Comfort, followed by a chill.

A habit ingrained in my body made me instinctively throw off the blanket the moment I saw the warm, dazzling sunlight filtering through the curtains.

“…..Ah…”

And then I belatedly remembered. That I was on sick leave, half voluntarily, half not.

“Haa…”

The moment I remembered that fact, all the strength drained from my body. And I collapsed back onto the bed, as if throwing the half-raised body back down.

Right, I collapsed. Was taken to the hospital.

I was discharged after being told to get plenty of rest, and then, That person…

“…Hanbyeol?”

I suddenly looked around and listened, but there wasn’t a person in sight, nor even a hint of a presence.

Meow—

“….”

Other than Maru’s cry from my feet, I couldn’t hear any other sound.

Did That person leave? Probably did.

That person has their own life too, so they probably left right after seeing me fall asleep.

“…Maru, come here.”

Meow—

Whether it was because the weather was getting colder, or for some other reason.

I called Maru to soothe the sudden chill I felt.

“…Huh?”

And then I finally noticed the sticky note attached to Maru’s head.

“….Pfft.”

And I laughed.

[You have to eat well! (´△｀)]

The crooked handwriting and the squished expression. Maybe that’s why it was so funny.

“…That person really can’t write.”

The chill seemed to have subsided a little.

---

I went to work the next day.

It wasn’t me who collapsed, but Team Leader, and even though I was tired from the continuous overtime, I wasn’t at the level of being taken to the emergency room…

…I wanted to be taken too, though.

Head of Department showed me mercy with words, but they’re just like Team Leader in that they like to make other people work.

The tone is lenient, but the true meaning isn’t. If I rested too much, trusting only in uncertain words, a tsunami of work would come crashing down.

“Hello~.”

“Oh? Hanbyeol? Weren’t you resting?”

Still, I figured it would be okay to come in later than usual, so I arrived right on time, at the exact starting time.

“Why would I rest? I’m not even sick.”

With Team Leader on sick leave, could the team members below them rest? No.

“I can’t be the only one slacking off. And they wouldn’t let me slack off anyway.”

Rather, it would be even tougher since the person who did the most work had left. Team Leader’s job wasn’t just supervising the work of subordinates.

In that situation, if I took time off under the guise of nursing the collapsed Team Leader, I wouldn’t hear good things…

“No one would think you’re slacking off? Who would think taking care of Team Leader is slacking off?”

…Or so I thought.

“Uh…don’t people usually think that way?”

“Hanbyeol, when did you go home?”

“Uh….Um….After Team Leader fell asleep?”

“Matching a superior’s mood outside of the company, even until the superior falls asleep…do you really think that’s slacking off?”

It seems like those worries were unfounded.

“And with that Team Leader? Ugh, I couldn’t do it. I’d rather work overtime.”

“Ahaha…”

Well, our Team Leader’s image isn’t very good.

Even if it wasn’t Team Leader, it would probably be burdensome. Taking care of a superior, that is.

“But Hanbyeol, what’s that watch?”

“Ah, this?”

At those words, I looked at the watch I received from Se-young. A watch that perfectly suited my taste.

“Doesn’t it suit me?”

“Um….I don’t know well..”

“Senior!”

Just then, I heard the voice of the person who gave me the watch.

“Ah, Se-young. What time is it now….Oh, saved by 10 minutes.”

“Hehe.”

Se-young isn’t someone who’s often late, but it’s a daily occurrence for her to arrive just barely on time, looking like she’s about to collapse, sweating profusely.

“Is something good happening? The corners of your lips are practically reaching your ears.”

“I wonder.”

“I wonder~!”

Is something good happening, or is there some other reason?

“….Ah!”

“?”

Se-young, who was looking me up and down, seemed to have discovered something and smiled even brighter with a gasp.

….Did I do something wrong?

---

“You can’t translate it like this. Japanese people will feel like you’re picking a fight.”

“Should I change the tone altogether? There are cases like that in Japanese anime. When they get flustered or excited, their tone changes.”

Even though Team Leader is on sick leave, we have our own work to do.

Time doesn’t stop just because one person collapsed, and it would be a big problem if a company like Comet, a large company, couldn’t function just because one person was missing, let alone a small business.

“It’s lunchtime.”

“Oh.”

The third most anticipated time at work has arrived. Following payday, which is first, and quitting time, which is second.

The difference from usual is that Team Leader isn’t here this time, which means I have to eat alone. It’s not that I dislike eating alone, and it’s not like That person is the only one I can eat with in the first place.

“Team Leader isn’t here this time, want to eat together?”

“Sure—”

“Th-there!!”

The moment I closed my laptop, stood up, and was about to head to the cafeteria, Se-young’s voice stopped me.

“Oh, would you like to eat with me today…Senior..?”

“?”

As if having made a big decision, Se-young squeezed her eyes shut and suggested that I have lunch with her.

“…Yeah, sure, I don’t mind..”

“R-really!?”

When I accepted the offer, Se-young’s face, which had looked uneasy, instantly brightened.

….But is asking to eat together that difficult that she has to say it with all her strength?

“It doesn’t matter whether two or three people eat together.”

“Three people?…Ah.”

Oh, the color drained from her face.

A person’s face is more versatile than I thought.

“…Am I making you sad?”

“Ah, no! It’s not that!!”

---

I think our company cafeteria is quite excellent.

Of course, it’s inferior to monsters like Korea’s number one company that starts with S, or those of a different scale, but well, that can’t be helped.

I have a very unrefined palate to the point where I could even eat the school lunch at a middle school where the principal embezzled the lunch money and still find it delicious, but even to my taste, the cafeteria food feels high quality.

“Hanbyeol seems to eat really well. Even though your build has shrunk so much, your appetite hasn’t changed.”

“My stomach must be the same. You’re saying the same thing as my Grandmother.”

It feels strange to hear words I heard from my Grandfather and Grandmother as a child from a coworker.

It is strange. Back when my hobby was weightlifting, the calories would have all been used for exercise, so why aren’t I gaining weight now? Shouldn’t I have some belly fat?

“I think it’s good to eat heartily!”

“That’s what my Grandfather used to say.”

“Pfft…”

The scent of the countryside from my Grandfather and Grandmother, the scent of red ginseng candy, made me feel very melancholic.

“Ah, come to think of it, um…Senior. Um….”

Just as I was about to recall vague memories from the countryside with that familiar scent, Se-young stuttered more than usual and asked me.

“You’re stuttering a lot today, Se-young.”

“W-well, it feels like it might be a slightly sensitive question…”

Eyes spinning around, pupils rolling around restlessly as if avoiding my gaze.

“Is it…true that you were originally a man..?”

The moment those eyes turned to me, a question that was sensitive, if sensitive it was, came out of her mouth.

“Yes.”

It wasn’t very sensitive from my perspective, though.

“Uh…are you okay?”

“There’s no reason not to be okay, right? It’s the truth.”

In the past, it would have felt like a very sensitive question. Right after I changed into a woman, during the time when I was busily going back and forth between the company and the city hall to prove that I was Seo Hanbyeol.

Back then, I was very anxious and desperate. Because I was in danger of losing everything in an instant.

Is it true that you were originally a man? Are you really Seo Hanbyeol? I heard those words a lot, of course. Enough to be traumatizing.

“I’m okay now. It’s all in the past.”

But I’m okay now. Because I eventually got everything back.

Except for friendships, my original gender, and things like that….

…Can I really say that I got all of this back?

“You were really tall back then, Hanbyeol. And your face was handsome.”

“I don’t know about my face…but I was really tall. I was much taller than Se-young back then.”

“I see..”

Now I’m the shortest person in the company, but back then I was the tallest. To the point where Head of Department said, ‘If you’re at Hanbyeol’s eye level, you’d be able to see my hair falling out.’

…I could actually see it. But I couldn’t bring myself to say it looked like a barren desert, so I laughed it off.

“Then Senior….which do you like better? Men or women..”

“…Pardon?”

The question that followed was even more difficult to answer. To put it simply, isn’t that about sexual identity?

“Um….Ummm…”

I’ve heard a lot of people say that my actions and speech have become more feminine since I became a woman, as if my mind was being influenced by my body. I don’t know for sure, but if the people around me say so, then that must be the case.

But I’ve never thought of myself as a woman. I still don’t think of myself as a woman.

The problem is that I can’t say for sure that I’m a man! either. My identity as a man is fading.

Since my body is a woman and my mind is a man, my identity mixed with that sense of alienation has become something that is neither man nor woman. But if I had to choose…

“I guess I’d have to say I…like women?”

I’m heterosexual, and I spent most of my life as a man.

So it’s natural to like women…though I don’t know if you can call that heterosexual.

Honestly, it’s like this. To be a man who became a woman and then date a man.

I can respect other people’s tastes as much as they want, but if I think of myself as that person, it’s a bit…

“….!!”

…Well, I don’t know why.

My answer seemed to have pleased Se-young.