The Outer God Needs Warmth – Chapter 23

When evening came, I don’t know where she gathered them from, but Hyunkeshuni brought various underwear.

Of course, most of them are underwear I know. No, how could I not know with the number of lights I’ve licked since coming to this world?

So I tried on various underwear Hyunkeshuni brought. But unfortunately, most of them didn’t fit.

I tried on several, but my chest feels tight. Then Hyunkeshuni looked down at her own chest once and sighed softly. After that, she approached my side and touched the snow-white dress I was wearing.

She touched it a few times, slightly tore the end part with her nail to unravel the thread, then put it down and asked me.

“Can’t you make it like you made the clothes you’re wearing?”

Ah, right. There was that method.

The clothes I’m wearing now are also clothes I made.

I put down the underwear and pushed myself into myself.

Then cracks form on the skin and black space is visible inside, and dark purple mist flows out. Every time I was watching because it’s a place I shouldn’t move carelessly, but not now.

I tried putting my index finger in once. But it doesn’t go in all the way. Rather, I feel the skin.

As expected, it’s not actually split.

But don’t you think it’s too much to run far away as soon as the mist flows out after telling me to do it, Hyunkeshuni?

Learn from Joanna who’s quietly watching from the side.

Looking at Joanna sitting nearby as if nothing’s wrong, I concentrate to make clothes.

But far from clothes coming out, the mist just flutters softly.

Is this not how to do it?

I grabbed the underwear. How did I put on clothes earlier? I brought what’s in my memory. Think carefully. What’s important is not the reality in front of me now.

I need to see the difference.

How I wore it.

It’s just natural that it’s here, why am I trying to make it?

Yes.

I’m wearing underwear adjusted to my size. Of course, I’m also holding underwear in my hand.

I figured out the method. It’s not about creating something new. It means I’m not using the mist to create something.

I can wedge into the world.

Into a world where it’s natural for that to exist.

Then shall we try something else?

First, there’s an item that shouldn’t be dropped, though it’s been gone from my hand for a very long time.

I said there’s a phone in my hand.

Crack.

Black cracks grow in my hand as if glass is breaking.

“What are you doing!”

Hyunkeshuni shouts from far away. And dark blue light is sucked into her body. And she created a transparent curtain around it.

So there’s a shield too.

Let’s say that’s Hyunkeshuni. It’s more disappointing that I can’t hold the phone in my hand. If I do well, I can hold the phone in my hand.

I can hold it right away.

Crack

No, I can only hold it.

The more I try, the bigger the cracks in the void above my hand get. It’s like it’s cracking under a huge weight. If I’m not careful, this place might break like a glass window hit by a stone.

How disappointing.

If I can’t hold it, I have to shake it off.

Then the black lines spreading from my hand to the surroundings slowly close and disappear as if healing.

And finally, all cracks disappeared. Of course, nothing remains in my hand.

I don’t know if complex objects don’t work, or if objects that don’t exist in this world don’t work. And it seems I shouldn’t try recklessly.

Although all cracks have disappeared on the surface, I feel in a way that’s hard to express in words that that part is in a very fragile state.

Am I that heavy?

The cold sea is certainly heavy. But that’s a strange space. An endless sea and infinite night sky. And the stars above are all there is.

Or maybe I just can’t see it.

There are several possibilities.

But it’s certain that it would be heavy.

Let’s think about such things when I go back to the sea again.

I gestured while looking at Hyunkeshuni, who was still looking at me with a tense expression while wrapped in a transparent membrane.

“It’s over. I can’t make complex objects, Hyunkeshuni.”

“If you’re going to do something like that, tell me in advance.”

Hyunkeshuni lightly scattered the transparent curtain around her. Then dark blue mist remains around.

I don’t know if she still doesn’t trust me and is preparing to defend, or if it’s the remnants of magic she used.

I don’t know her mind exactly. But I can read it from her expression.

She approached me while grinning. She approached while being afraid of me.

And she pointed at my body with her hand.

“First, why don’t you put on clothes? Are you going to stay in your underwear like that?”

I shook my head left and right.

And I changed into comfortable pajamas. It’s the clothes Rebecca Rolfe wore most comfortably.

“Ah…”

A regretful groan came from the side. When I turned my head, Joanna was looking at my clothes as if regretful.

Why is that?

At that time, Hyunkeshuni made a sound similar to laughter as if dumbfounded. When Joanna’s and my gaze reached Hyunkeshuni, Hyunkeshuni opened her mouth while looking at Joanna.

“Joanna. If you think of Rebecca as something like your own child, you’ll regret it greatly later.”

Child? I examined Joanna’s expression. She does look regretful, but such maternal emotions aren’t visible.

“I’m not looking at Miss Rebecca in that way, Miss Hyunkeshuni.”

See? Joanna says this too.

Hyunkeshuni stared at Joanna.

“If not, that’s fine. So this is just an old woman’s concern. Joanna Smith. Don’t forget that this one is an outer god that entered a human body.”

Hyunkeshuni is saying the right thing. I am in a human body. I was once human, but I’m no longer human.

Huh?

“Outer god?”

Me? In what way?

I pointed at myself while looking at Hyunkeshuni. Then Hyunkeshuni flinched at my question as if caught doing something she shouldn’t.

And while gently avoiding my gaze, she opened her mouth.

“We needed a term to refer to you. So I named you ‘outer god’ meaning a god that came from outside this world.”

“Is that why you called me an outer god? I’m not a god.”

Yes. If I hadn’t heard it I wouldn’t know, but if I heard it, I have to deny it.

Because I’m really not a god. I have a principle of not lying. I’m neither omniscient nor omnipotent.

I fall short in many ways as a god.

“If you say so, then that’s how it is. Rather, since it’s come to this, let me ask, do you have a god?”

Hyunkeshuni asked me inside Rebecca Rolfe, not Rebecca Rolfe herself. Do I have a god? I once did. When I was human, I had a religion.

Of course, it wasn’t a fanatical religion like those in this place, but a universal religion, but I believed.

But not anymore.

It disappeared in screams that made no sound.

It melted away in that dark and cold sea.

Therefore, there’s only one answer.

“No.”

I answered clearly that there is no such thing.

“I see. Yes, then there should be no problem attaching the title of outer god.”

Oh? How does it become like that?

“I’m not a god.”

“However, if there is no god, you are a similar being. Of course, I’m speaking from our perception, not your recognition.”

Then are all atheists gods?

The question hovered at the front of my mouth, but I forcibly swallowed it. I should refrain from speaking like someone who knows how to use wisdom.

At least for now.

But outer god.

I can understand the meaning.

It’s not talking about the god of madness according to the fake mythology I know. Rather, judging by the nuance, it’s closer to alien. Of course, I’m not a British person in New York.

Alien means foreigner.

If so, there’s nothing I can’t understand. It’s irritating because it’s a word that reveals a desire to reject me forever. But what can I do? It’s true that I came from outside.

“Or is there a reason you refuse to be called a god?”

At those words, I swallowed my words.

Why do I want to refute so much?

I

still

don’t know well.

Yes. Then there’s no reason.

“No.”

“Then let’s call you that. The nameless outer god.”

So that’s how it goes.

But it’s better than the curse-like name Cruxshibal.

I can faintly see the reason for dividing.

“Do you dislike Rebecca Rolfe?”

“That would be the name of your body. For now I’m calling you Rebecca, but that’s a human name, isn’t it?”

That’s true.

It’s the name of a girl who was kidnapped by the Future Hope Church and died a violent death.

It’s the name of the body I’m using.

So it’s not my name, you say.

Fine. If that’s the case.

If you say that much.

Let’s accept the title of outer god.

“Yes. That’s right. Use that as the word to refer to me from now on, Hyunkeshuni.”

Hyunkeshuni blinked while looking at me and carefully moved away from her spot. She retreats while looking at me with a smile all over her face.

In other words, it’s an expression full of fear.

Of course, I have no intention of sprinkling madness on others, and I have no intention of attaching adjectives like indescribable or something that shouldn’t be called.

I don’t even know how to do such things in the first place.

I’m not smart.

My logic is very simple to that extent.

I need warmth.

“Then Hyunkeshuni. Is there anything you want to ask the outer god in front of you?”

Calling it a god, isn’t it because there’s something you want to ask? If not, no matter how strong it is, you’d call it a monster.

But Hyunkeshuni shook her head left and right.

Hmph.

Fine. The opportunity has passed. Then shall I ask Joanna who’s right next to me?

“How about Joanna? If I were a god, what wish would you like to make?”

Joanna thought for a moment at my question and then made a wish.

“Please eat more. You eat too little now.”

Ah, that?

Hmm. Mm. Hmmmm.

“I-I’ll try.”

My stomach feels uncomfortable when I eat a lot…

At my answer, Joanna nodded with a satisfied expression. Somehow there was Hyunkeshuni blankly watching that, but I pretended not to know because I felt bad.

Calling me an outer god. How could you say such a bad thing!