Unable to Be Completely Honest (1)

“So you’re saying all of that is true?”

“Yes.”

Bigrind finally pushed her unruly bangs under her veil. Yona had pulled her hair so hard that it seemed like patches of her scalp were completely bare. Well, being a Saintess, that much would heal quickly, so it wasn’t really a problem.

The explanation Amira gave and the one Yona gave didn’t differ much. But if there was a difference, it was in the cause and effect of the events. Bigrind hadn’t heard from Amira the detailed reasons why Yona had committed such an enormous act.

Honestly, it was understandable. From Yona’s perspective, she had been thoroughly used, so it was natural for her to be so angry. Even without knowing the details, Bigrind thought it must have been a case of returning what she had received as an adventurer.

“I think it was understandable— but to do such a thing to royalty, I wonder if you have any sense at all. You really live without thinking about the consequences, don’t you…?”

“I live for today.”

“You’re talking nonsense again…”

Still, it’s not that Bigrind couldn’t understand Yona. And since she had the power to deal with the aftermath, well, maybe it was possible. Moreover, Bigrind was the Saintess of the Celestial Deity, and Katus didn’t worship the Celestial Deity, so deep down she thought it didn’t really matter much.

More importantly, it was what Yona had said. The fact that the Sky God had taken residence in her, and that it was actually the Sky God who carried out such a massacre in the Azrami incident—Yona speaking about this so calmly seemed rather strange.

“First of all, you’re saying the Sky God is currently residing in your body…?”

“Yeah.”

Bigrind couldn’t understand at all. She knew that Yona was no longer a member of the Celestial Church. And that she was a figure from the demon realm, not just any figure but the Saintess of the demon realm. But that doesn’t mean it’s natural to be able to speak so calmly about having an evil god residing in one’s body.

“In you?”

“That’s what I’m saying, isn’t it?”

Irritation was slowly creeping into her voice. But Bigrind, perhaps from shock, could only open and close her mouth several times without being able to say anything.

“I know it’s hard to believe, but it’s the truth. Really. That’s not to say that what I did—or more accurately, what that Sky God character did—isn’t my fault. I have no intention of avoiding responsibility for that.”

Yona picked up the teacup in front of her, then put it back down. Her nun’s habit was already tattered, and due to the brawl with Bigrind, the chest area was torn again. After properly adjusting it, Yona let out a deep sigh.

“…It was partly my will too. I wanted revenge too. When I saw Alec’s life slipping away, I… yes, I lost my reason too.”

“Is that so…?”

Isn’t it usually not like that?

Bigrind thought.

Is it obsession with a comrade—thinking about it, most people wouldn’t go that far.

The comrades Yona had traveled with during her adventurer life, she must have seen their deaths more than once or twice, but did Yona get angry every time?

No, she didn’t.

Yona had indifferently said that the dead are dead.

Then why did Yona get so angry when she saw Alec dying?

At this point, Bigrind thought of another possibility.

Beyond the relationship between an adventurer and their comrade, a possibility that could arise in the relationship between a man and a woman.

“Hey, you.”

“What?”

Yona took a sip of tea from the cup. It was late spring, approaching early summer, with quite warm breezes blowing. In this weather, the already lukewarm tea was more than enough to hold in her mouth.

“…Do you love Alec?”

“Pfffft!”

Thanks to the tea spectacularly sprayed out, it seemed like a tiny rainbow could be seen.

“If not, that’s fine, but why such an extreme reaction?”

Bigrind grumbled while wiping her soaked face with a handkerchief.

Unfortunately, she had been sitting opposite Yona, so she was completely drenched by the tea Yona had sprayed out.

Still, the fact that she wasn’t getting angry showed that Bigrind was quite befitting of a Saintess.

“It’s because you suddenly said something strange.”

“How is it strange? What’s strange about love? Don’t tell me you’re still having those weird thoughts about how you used to be a man or whatever?”

“No, it’s not a weird thought, it’s the truth…”

Yona suddenly stopped speaking mid-sentence.

Wasn’t that what she had always been saying?

That she had been a man, that she would definitely return to being a man, and that she would return to her original world.

But somehow it felt like something from the distant past.

Although it wasn’t actually that long ago, why did it feel so distant?

She didn’t know, but Yona hesitated, unable to answer Bigrind’s question.

“…It’s not like that.”

It’s not like that.

But when Alec was dying, Yona’s reason had flown away.

• The Yona I loved wasn’t like this—!!!

  When Alec had slapped Yona’s cheek and roared,

  At that time, Yona—

  Maybe, just maybe.

  As Yona was hesitating like this, Bigrind soon chuckled.

“Really? If you say so.”

Bigrind put the soaked handkerchief on the table and picked up her teacup.

She looked at Yona through half-lowered eyes.

Yona didn’t seem to realize it herself, but her face was red.

It hadn’t turned completely red as if burning up, but the blush that had risen on those pale cheeks seemed like evidence that the words she had just uttered were completely different from her true feelings, very far from them.

‘I thought it might be like this.’

After sticking together so much, they’ve finally developed feelings for each other.

Come to think of it, even when they were in Evian, there were all sorts of rumors about them being married adventurers and whatnot. Even while pretending not to care or be interested, Bigrind would perk up her ears whenever news about Yona came. Although she was a terrible friend, the bond of being orphanage mates wasn’t something that could be easily cut off.

‘I guess her affection suddenly surged now that he’s not bald anymore.’

When Alec was bald, Bigrind wouldn’t even give him a glance. His face might have been manly with rough lines, but having hair makes one look more human, doesn’t it? In that sense, there were times when Yona sticking with Alec seemed even stranger.

But Alec with hair was surprisingly a handsome man, and with his tall stature and large build, he was a good-looking man enough to surprise even Bigrind for a moment. So it’s not particularly strange for Yona to fall in love like this.

‘Still, the Hero is a bit better.’

Alec is too big.

He’s also too tall, making him intimidating.

The Hero—that is, Ludvig, has an image of a good-looking man with a well-balanced body, neither too tall nor too short.

‘After all, for a man, being too big isn’t great… Ah, oh. What am I, what am I thinking…!?’

Why is Ludvig coming to mind in this situation?

Bigrind quickly shook her head to clear away the stray thoughts.

“Anyway, if he’s not the man you love, then he’s just a comrade, right? You’re the one who said you’ve seen comrades die more than once or twice. But I don’t understand how you lost your reason because of that, allowing the Sky God to awaken?”

“…No, it’s not like that. I mean, even if he’s a comrade, you know? He’s more familiar… more intimate, you know, that kind of thing.”

“Hmm…”

Bigrind looked at Yona with half-closed eyes. Seeing her hurriedly deny it, it seemed like she had hit the nail on the head, so it was probably natural for her to have romantic feelings for Alec.

‘Well, I guess it’s fortunate that it’s not the Hero she has feelings for.’

Once again, Bigrind was thinking about Ludvig, but this time, she didn’t notice what she was thinking herself.

“So what are you planning to do? Honestly, I think what you did was understandable… but anyway, if you’ve planted such demonic energy in the current Emperor’s heart, the entire Katus Empire won’t sit still, will they?”

“…I’m not sure what I was thinking when I did that either.”

She could ask the Sky God, but since it wouldn’t answer no matter how many times she called, pretending to be some kind of deity, she couldn’t know.

To be honest, neither the Celestial Deity nor the Sky God seemed as impressive as before.

Both the Celestial Deity and the Sky God somehow felt like they were missing a screw or two, so she didn’t even feel the need to use honorifics.

“But I have no intention of removing the demonic energy. It seems Amira told you her story in a way that’s favorable to her… I think she hasn’t come to her senses yet.”

“I see. That’s for you to deal with.”

Bigrind didn’t really care from the start.

If you commit a crime, you should be punished—that’s how the world works. She thought Amira might feel wronged, but now it didn’t seem like that was the case either.

Moreover, it was a matter of grudges between Yona and Amira, so it would be presumptuous to interfere.

“Anyway, Big.”

“Yes?”

It was best to leave the conversation at this point.

There was no point in dragging it out further as no clear answers would come, and Yona had no intention of apologizing to Amira at all.

“About Ceres.”

“…Yes.”

Bigrind looked around and adjusted her posture.

Yona also looked around unnecessarily while watching Bigrind, but there was no one else in this garden.

“You think she’s strange… don’t you? I mean you.”

“Hmm… yes.”

Bigrind nodded slowly. Then she began to explain to Yona one by one, in detail, why she thought Ceres was strange, and after hearing that explanation, Yona let out a long sigh.

“I see, Big. As expected, you’re not as smart as me, but you are smart. It’s impressive that you’ve already made such deductions.”

Bigrind didn’t respond to those words.

More accurately, she was too dumbfounded to respond.

“Well, yes. To explain accurately… let me tell you.”

Yona, unaware of why Bigrind was reacting like that.

Yona leaned forward over the table and slowly began to explain.

Alevian, and Ceres.

Starting from the identity of these two people, the events that happened in the church territory, and up to Katus.

She explained all the events in detail.

Bigrind’s eyes widened, then narrowed again as she glared at Yona.

Then her face turned pale, then blue, then returned to normal.

Watching Bigrind’s reactions, Yona continued her explanation.

Truthfully, without omission, all the things Yona had experienced, one by one.

“…So you’re saying that within the Celestial Church, Elder Cer… no, Ceres, who holds the position of Elder, is a priestess of the demon realm?”

“Yes. It’s the only way to explain the things that have happened, and most importantly, these are things those two people told me directly. If you want, I can call Alevian and have her explain.”

It was hard to believe.

But at Yona’s words that she could even call Alevian to testify, Bigrind had no choice but to believe.

“…No, well… Okay, I’ll believe you. Yes, I’ll believe you.”

The seeds of the demon realm had already been sown within the Celestial Church.

She knew corruption and decay were rampant, but that could mean that the Celestial Church had reached this state due to Ceres’s machinations—

‘No, no. That can’t be.’

Ceres might be an Elder, but that’s all.

Bigrind, unaware that Ceres and the Pope often had private meetings and that the Pope tended to listen to Ceres’s opinions, had no way of knowing that Ceres was actually controlling the current Celestial Church.

‘It doesn’t seem like a situation where I can help Yona or anything…’

But she couldn’t move rashly either.

There was no evidence.

If she were to call Yona and Alevian to the church territory to testify, it would be perfect for being labeled as a Saintess who listens to the words of apostates.

“Well, there’s no need to look for evidence anyway.”

Yona’s voice reached Bigrind’s ears as she was pondering.

What is she talking about now—as Bigrind looked at her with this thought, Yona said with a nonchalant expression.

“Ceres, that damn woman, is coming here right now.”