Chapter 21. Worry and Decision (12)

Since eating meat first thing in the morning felt a bit much, Ria and I made some scrambled eggs and ate them with bread.

When I was pressed close against Ria, I found that strange stickiness pleasant, but now that I was a little apart from her, I felt a bit cold.

The car had a heating function, but since we had been lying in bed with our bodies pressed tightly together under a rather thick blanket, neither of us had thought to turn it on.

Both of us went to the shower room and took a quick shower.

There was no need to waste time taking turns now.

It was a bit cramped, though. Well, that’s that.

…….

Anyway.

Ria, being so thoughtful, had prepared the same clothes we wore last night, exactly the same.

“So you planned this from the start.”

“…….”

“You’re not going to deny it.”

“Be quiet.”

Ria turned her gaze away and pouted her lips.

Seeing Ria’s face looking so cute and lovable, I chuckled softly.

We weren’t planning to go back right away. Although we didn’t intend to wander around the forest like yesterday, both of us had woken up too early, so we planned to relax a bit and leave leisurely in the afternoon.

Naturally, there was no need to dress up properly inside here.

As we sat side-by-side on the bed, I suddenly looked around the camper van and a thought popped into my head.

“…Hey, Ria.”

“Yes?”

“This camper van, you said it belongs to your uncle?”

“Yes, that’s right?”

“…Mr. Kim Hyun-kang?”

“Yes, well, what about it?”

“We should return this camper van, shouldn’t we?”

“Yes…….”

As I said that, Ria’s face suddenly stiffened.

Well, what can you do?

It’s something that can’t be helped. If you were to consider every little thing like that, how would you go to a hotel with your girlfriend? It’s just that hotels change the bedding every day, so you can trust it.

But, why, what is it?

You know that complex feeling. Even if it’s not your home, a car feels a bit like that. Although it’s not just the back seat of a car, it is a camper van…

Since it was both of our first times, it felt a bit strange.

No, even though we didn’t go all the way, we were both ‘satisfied’.

“…….”

Both of us quickly got up, opened the windows, and ventilated the car.

No matter what, we couldn’t tell Ria’s uncle, “We slept here, so now this is ours.” To someone who has helped us this much.

“The mat is detachable.”

Ria said, exhaling slightly.

“I’ll change the bedding and return it.”

“…Yes, that would be best. Thank you.”

“…….”

“…….”

We were silent for a moment.

“……So, that’s why.”

Ria slowly opened her mouth.

“We’ve become a couple, right?”

“……Was it such a delicate matter that you need to confirm it? We did all that, and even talked about marriage.”

“No, well.”

Ria said, fiddling with her fingertips.

“…Because, we kissed before we said ‘Let’s date’.”

I turned my head and looked at Ria.

Ria’s expression, surprisingly, looked somewhat worried. Does she think I’m going to disappear any moment now?

I pondered for a moment, then opened my mouth again.

“Ria, I like you.”

“Uh, yes.”

“Perhaps, as much as you like me. No, actually, my feelings might be stronger.”

“But I confessed first?”

“I liked you first, you know? Do you know how much I agonized?”

“You agonized?”

“We’re both women.”

I spoke my true feelings.

“It’s not very common for a woman to like another woman. I was afraid of what people would say if I confessed my feelings.”

“……So that’s why you kept postponing it?”

“Yes, well.”

I said, swinging my legs back and forth while sitting on the bed.

“I thought I could confess without any lingering feelings after everything was over.”

“Or, you might die before you could confess.”

Ria said with a slightly stiff expression.

I couldn’t say anything in response to that.

“So that was your thinking?”

“I thought I might die, but-“

But before I could finish speaking, my head was quickly turned towards Ria.

Ria covered my mouth with hers.

……There must have been a more rational way. If she didn’t like what I was saying, there was a way to interrupt me.

But, well.

Yes.

After all, if we’ve become a couple, the only thing we need to consider within that is our feelings for each other.

If we start calculating who benefits or not, in the name of rationality within that… all that will come is ruin.

“Hoo.”

Only after Ria’s lips parted did I let out a slightly ragged breath.

Our lips were briefly connected in a single line.

“I won’t let it be like that.”

“I know. I believe you.”

Somehow, I feel like Ria could do that.

It’s strange. Just yesterday, I was thinking that I might die, and that Ria could also be in danger trying to save me-

But now, I feel a groundless confidence. I believe Ria can protect me. I believe I can protect Ria too. Unconsciously, I believed that.

An irrational, illogical judgment.

However, that judgment felt much clearer than any rational and logical thought I had made since coming to this world.

Without either of us knowing who started it, we lay down on the bed. Our legs were still draped over the edge of the bed.

Without any particularly erotic atmosphere, we lay side-by-side and stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Ah, I don’t want to go.”

Ria muttered.

Ria knew that once we returned, we would have to start running again. Even in our absence, people were working for the world.

Building walls, constructing bases. Waiting for the two of us, who would stand at the forefront again.

“But, we have to go.”

I said that and turned to lie on my side towards Ria.

And I wrapped my arms around Ria’s waist.

“We have to go, Ria.”

Because if we can’t protect this world, we won’t even be able to create memories of Ria and me.

……It still feels a little strange. If there is an afterlife above this world, and if we have souls.

Is there any reason why we must live? Wouldn’t it be better to die and live peacefully in the world above?

However, again, instead of a rational and logical answer, an emotional answer came to mind.

I liked it now.

The soft touch I felt at the tips of my fingers. The emotions I felt.

The occasional joy and happiness.

……Yes.

If I were to strictly follow reason and logic-

Death will come eventually. Even if I don’t approach it, death will eventually find me and take me to that afterlife.

So, isn’t it okay to enjoy this time I like for a little longer?

Since it’s coming eventually, let’s postpone it as much as we can-

-I just wanted to live, doing what I wanted.

*

I have to admit that Ria grabbing my wrist and pulling me out of there had a very good effect.

It felt like all my gloomy feelings had flown far away.

I have a goal.

A goal that is extremely personal, and could be called being blinded by lust if someone were to see it.

“We came here casually, but is it okay to stop by a rest stop on the way back?”

Ria said.

Is she trying to extend the return time even by a little?

I understood that childlike heart.

No, it’s okay to call it empathy.

Even on the battlefield, we will be together, but I wanted to feel this ordinary and enjoyable time for as long as possible.

A picnic enjoyed in ordinary clothes, not a nun’s habit or knight’s armor.

When we get off at the rest stop, everyone will look at us. A being close to a saint, not wearing a saint’s habit, and the person called a knight, not wearing armor.

But what of it?

“I want to eat boiled quail eggs.”

“How do you even know about things like that?”

“There’s a TV in the convent, you know? And sometimes we go on volunteer work a bit farther away. We naturally stop at rest stops in between.”

“Ah, I see.”

Ria’s expression quickly turned bored, and I chuckled.

“Why? Were you excited to teach me things I don’t know?”

“It’s not like that.”

Seeing her pout, it seemed like it was exactly like that, but I decided to believe her.

“Then, let’s eat something there that I haven’t tried before.”

Even in my past life, I had been to rest stops many times, but there was no need to reveal that now.

Although, someday, I will have to tell her.

“……So, that’s what you’re saying?”

Ria said, sounding somewhat provoked.

“Okay. Get ready to burst your stomach.”

“……No, even so, I don’t intend to eat that much.”

“Why? You usually eat all the ramen I eat too.”

“No, do we really need to talk about that now?”

This time, I pouted, and Ria laughed.

Well, one way or another, we did end up going to the rest stop.

Ria truly bought various things and placed them on the table.

……Although passersby recognized us and gathered around murmuring, we were still able to enjoy our date, more or less.

It will probably remain in our memories for a long, long time.

It was enough of a memory to recall when fighting on the battlefield.