Chapter 21: Shadows of the past

After Park Ahyoung left, every day felt like an eternity. She’d taken almost everything I had.

“F*ck… How did this happen…?”

I racked my brain, trying to pinpoint where it all went wrong.

–Drip

Tears streamed down my face, the first time I’d cried since middle school.

“Maybe… Sister would help…”

I called her.

–Ring

Surely, family wouldn’t abandon me in my time of need.

–Ring

The ringing continued, amplifying my anxiety.

She’s not answering…

She didn’t pick up. She still saw me as a pathetic loser. That realization made me feel even more wretched.

Tears flowed uncontrollably. I wanted to give up.

I blamed myself, my lack of skills, my uselessness.

It’s my fault for having that one-night stand, my fault for badmouthing her at the bar.

It’s all my fault for being born this way.

The thought was like a physical blow, a sharp pain in my chest.

“Ugh… f*ck…”

Then, in a moment of impulsivity, or perhaps desperation, or maybe I was just plain crazy—

I started rummaging through my drawers, searching for a box cutter.

“Where is it…?”

I must have looked pathetic, one hand frantically searching, the other wiping away tears.

I chuckled humorlessly at my own misery.

Finally, I found it.

**

I don’t remember what happened next. I woke up in a hospital.

“What… Who brought me here…?”
“Me.”

I looked up. Sieun was standing over me, her eyes filled with disdain.

“I saw your missed calls and went to your apartment… and…”

She sighed deeply, her disappointment evident.

“You were lying there, bleeding like an idiot… What the hell were you thinking?”

Her words hit a nerve.

So that’s how it is…

I couldn’t speak. I just closed my eyes, holding back tears. Even in my pathetic state, I still cared about appearing strong in front of her.

I carefully looked at my bandaged wrist.

Then, I glanced at Sieun’s wrist. An expensive watch adorned it.

“Whatever. It doesn’t look too bad. I’ll get your discharge papers.”

She told me she’d paid the hospital bills and left, the click of her heels echoing in the hallway.

I tried to get out of bed.

–Sway

I stumbled, grabbing the wall for support. Tears finally escaped.