Yes, I felt the same way.

‘…What should I do now?’

Bigrind frowned as she left the prayer room.

The feeling of loss in her lower abdomen that had persisted since using the Celestial Gate.

Her lower abdomen, which had always been filled with holy power and overflowing with that brilliant golden holy power given by the Celestial Deity, now contained less than half of the holy power it used to have.

Even that remaining golden holy power from the Celestial Deity was almost depleted.

It felt as if the top part of a large cup had been cut off, like the total capacity to hold holy power had been taken away.

No matter how much she prayed, no matter how much she sunbathed exposing her body to sunlight even though there was no need to do so anymore, the lost holy power did not return. The terrible sense of loss drained the vitality from her, and Bigrind’s face was much more serious than she thought.

“Saintess, is something wrong?”

An unnamed obedient priest asked Bigrind with a worried expression.

Apparently she had been standing blankly in front of the prayer room, so Bigrind slowly shook her head.

“It’s nothing. I’m just a bit tired, so don’t worry.”

Leaving behind the priest’s concerned gaze, Bigrind left the prayer room.

Where should she go? It was truly sad that there was nowhere she could comfortably stay in this vast church territory. For someone whose religious life began at the Celestine Church’s Evian branch orphanage, Evian was essentially her hometown, but this church territory where she now resided after leaving that place felt so unfamiliar.

They say home is where the heart is, but if one cannot attach their heart, is it not home? Well, of course it’s not home since it’s not home. Bigrind mocked her own ridiculous state. Saintess, Saintess. She was being revered as a Saintess, but when she thought about what meaning it truly had, it really had no meaning at all.

Even looking in the mirror, her image wearing such holy clothes—

It was truly something she could not get used to.

Bigrind trudged along. What would be at the end of those steps? Bigrind herself did not know. Perhaps she didn’t want to know. She was just a powerless young girl crushed under the weight of being a Saintess, and despite doing her best, she had to endure such anguish alone that she couldn’t confide in anyone.

She wondered what it would have been like if she had just lived as an ordinary girl, but there was no use in such thoughts. What’s past is past and cannot return, and humans tend to repeat the same mistakes, so even if she could go back, she probably wouldn’t make a different choice.

‘It wasn’t my choice to begin with.’

Bigrind recalled the image of the Celestial Deity who had appeared in front of that dungeon. The infinitely loving, beautiful, and holy Celestial Deity. Bigrind, who had been chosen as the Saintess by that Celestial Deity’s designation. And Bigrind had been happy then, but that was all. That was everything. The title of Saintess, which was merely an honor, was crushing Bigrind like this.

‘I probably can’t go back.’

The image of Yona suddenly came to mind. What if it had been Yona, if Yona had become the Saintess? Always bright and healthy, Yona who often said strange things, but at least she wouldn’t have broken down like Bigrind. Because Yona was always honest, she probably would have angrily retorted that they all would have died in Evian if it hadn’t been for her.

Bigrind smiled as she imagined such a Yona. She missed Yona. What would Yona have done? How would Yona have dealt with this terrible sense of loss that was tormenting Bigrind now? It was impossible to know.

“…Where is this?”

After walking for quite some time, Bigrind looked with a puzzled expression at the iron door that suddenly appeared before her. The dark gray iron door that was always oiled and wiped clean with thick cloth, without a speck of rust. Looking at that iron door, Bigrind couldn’t quite understand why she had come here.

That iron door was the entrance to the training hall. And not just any training hall, but the very one that the Hero Rudvik had rented out entirely and shut himself in.

‘Why am I here…?’

Bigrind couldn’t understand herself. She had no business here—not even Hero Rudvik had called for her, yet Bigrind found herself in front of this training hall.

‘Perhaps this too is the guidance of the Celestial Deity…’

Bigrind carefully placed her hand on the door handle. This iron door had always been tightly locked since Rudvik shut himself in, and it had been locked every time Bigrind had come here before. So Bigrind did not expect anything. It would be locked anyway, and until Rudvik opened the door and came out himself—

• • Creeeak…

But the door opened smoothly without any resistance. The iron door that opened so easily, as if it had been waiting, Bigrind looked at it with a somewhat bewildered expression before unconsciously peering inside.

She had thought it would be completely filled with darkness. But surprisingly, it was bright enough inside that candles were not needed at all. Sunlight was streaming in through the stained glass windows engraved with tales of the Celestial Deity.

Dust was dancing in the sunlight. The floor paved with well-trimmed white stone was quiet in the training hall where not even a hint of presence could be felt. Bigrind slowly walked into the training hall.

A place where cathedral knights hone their martial arts and clash their skills against each other. That was the role of the training hall. However, the current training hall was sunk in an extremely quiet silence. To the extent that the dust floating aimlessly in the sunlight was clearly visible, to that extent.

‘Where is the Hero…?’

Since she had already entered the training hall, Bigrind carefully took steps while looking around. Since Rudvik had rented out the entire training hall for himself, he must be in here somewhere. She hadn’t heard any news of him coming out, so he must certainly be here.

Somehow the atmosphere was incredibly heavy. The silence that dominated this place was so thick that even the rustling sound of Bigrind’s cloth shoes was heard too clearly. And even though it was still daytime, even the sounds of daily life that should be heard from outside were not reaching this place. In this place, Bigrind was feeling a strange sense of discomfort.

“…!”

Bigrind barely managed to cover her mouth, nearly letting out a loud scream in surprise. Even so, a moan that she couldn’t fully swallow escaped softly, but the person at whom Bigrind’s gaze had landed showed no movement.

Rudvik was sitting in a formal seated position. Although it had only been about a week since he had shut himself in this training hall, Rudvik’s appearance was like that of a mountain hermit who had lived alone for years, with his hair and beard grown tremendously long.

His once lustrous brown hair had grown wild and unkempt, sticking out in all directions, and his beard had also grown uncontrollably, truly giving him the appearance of a disheveled madman. Moreover, his emaciated body was no longer the robust figure it once was. Bigrind was startled by the sight of Rudvik, who had become so gaunt that he looked like nothing but bones, sitting in a formal position.

“He-Hero?”

Bigrind quickened her steps towards Rudvik. His appearance, looking as if he might collapse at any moment, seemed as if it wouldn’t be strange even if he were a corpse sitting there. That’s how gaunt and withered Rudvik had become, and he showed no particular reaction to the sound of Bigrind approaching, making him look as if he might really be dead.

“Hero, Hero!”

Bigrind didn’t dare to grab Rudvik’s shoulders and shake him. She was afraid he might topple forward or backward if she did. Still, Rudvik was someone she had relied on a lot, knowingly or unknowingly, someone who had always been with her from Evian to here, so she was afraid of such a thing happening.

“…Is that you, Saintess.”

Rudvik, who had been sitting in a formal position, slowly lifted his eyelids. His eyes, which had always been full of mischief and confidence, were now sunken with dark shadows visible, and his gaze was deeply submerged, shining quietly.

Fortunately, it seemed that no strange transformation had occurred. Bigrind, thinking it was a relief, crouched down in front of Rudvik. Since he didn’t seem to be injured, healing wasn’t necessary, and she thought that perhaps Rudvik just needed someone to talk to.

“Hero, are you alright?”

“Yes. I am fine.”

The immediate response to Bigrind’s question. There was still strength in his voice, and considering his appearance that looked like he might breathe his last at any moment, he seemed too normal, to the point where Bigrind was bewildered.

“Pe-perhaps… could you…”

Not knowing what to say, Bigrind was about to ask whatever came to mind. Unfortunately, it was about to be a foolish question asking if he could tell her what had happened, and she regretted it even as she was speaking. Fortunately, before she could finish her sentence, Rudvik spoke first.

“Shall we go out first? I think it would be better to talk outside.”

Rudvik walked well with that gaunt body, though it’s unclear what he had been eating and drinking all this time. All those heavy muscles were gone, to the point where it was heartbreaking for anyone to see, but at least his gait still had strength, and his steps stretched out firmly without hesitation.

“First, I’d like to eat something, so let’s go to the dining hall. How about you, Saintess?”

“Y-yes. Let’s do that.”

It ended up with Bigrind being guided by Rudvik. It was awkward, but well, such things could happen. Thinking so, Bigrind followed a step behind Rudvik.

“Have you eaten, Saintess?”

“Ah, yes. I… yes.”

A piece of bread, a bowl of potato soup, and a glass of fruit juice.

Nothing special, just the usual meal.

“Yes, then I’d like you to stay with me while I eat.”

“Yes… yes, let’s do that.”

And then Rudvik turned to look at Bigrind.

His hair, which he had quickly tied up while heading to the dining hall, looked much better than the disheveled state from earlier. After grooming his beard a bit, its appearance had improved as well. Perhaps it even added a touch of ruggedness. His face had always been quite decent to begin with. Looking at him like this, it seemed a bit much to say he had become gaunt— just as Bigrind was unconsciously thinking this.

Rudvik turned to Bigrind and smiled brightly.

A smile that seemed refreshing without any hint of strain.

“I truly missed you very much, Saintess. Yes, I really did.”

Bigrind was about to reply, “Is that so.”

But the words wouldn’t come out.

“I felt the same way, Hero.”

Why did she say that?

What did it mean?

Bigrind couldn’t understand either.