Chapter 19: The North – 4

“Before the Goddess, I confess my sins.”

I had worried she might refuse, but thankfully, Karmen seemed willing to properly take part in the confession.

Unlike before, she began to speak with a sincere and serious tone.

“Huh…”

Letting out a long breath, as if bracing herself for something difficult, Karmen then confessed her sins before the Goddess.

“Goddess, I hate men. That includes the knights of our domain, the servants in our mansion, and even my father.”

Even Polarr?

I had expected she might harbor some resentment toward men based on her behavior so far, but I didn’t think that even her own father, Polarr, would be included.

“My father, Polarr Icicle, is the strongest warrior in the North. He steps onto the battlefield alone, cuts down demonkin, inspires terror in enemies and hope in allies—he is the very symbol of peace.”

“But it’s all wrong.”

Her voice suddenly turned cold.

“People place too many expectations on him. The domain’s residents, the knights, the nobles from other lands—even the imperial family.”

“Everyone expects so much from him that, at some point, he started pushing himself to meet those expectations, even though they go far beyond what he can handle.”

And honestly, I’ve thought the same.

Polarr is certainly powerful, but calling him the “strongest” isn’t entirely accurate.

He may be able to cut down hundreds of demons, but not thousands.

He can save someone in front of him, but not someone outside his reach.

Still, as Karmen said, people keep expecting more.

And Polarr, who despite his cold demeanor truly cares for others, keeps pushing himself to meet those hopes.

“The knights relax and polish their axes lazily, trusting my father. The people lower their guard as if they’re attending a festival, even during times that demand vigilance.”

This might be where her hatred toward men stems from.

“And my father… I hate how he keeps trying to live up to those expectations.”

“The more he quietly pushes himself, the more people expect. But he keeps doing it without saying anything.”

Now I finally understood why she said she hated even her father.

“…But on the outside, it didn’t seem like you disliked your father that much?”

“That’s because I hate him… but I still love him.”

I see.

Now that she says it, her gaze toward her father was always filled with warmth, too warm to be called fake.

Perhaps it’s because, while she harbors hatred, she also holds deep affection for him.

“Anyway, I hate all men, including my father. They shove all responsibility onto him, strut around acting tough, and think they’re something just because they’re a bit strong.”

“And yet… because of a certain holy knight in front of me, I’ve ended up confessing my sins.”

Yeah.

She definitely seemed to have built up a bit of frustration toward me while talking.

Like she was silently asking, ‘Satisfied now?’

“…The Goddess has forgiven your sins.”

“…Is that so.”

Now that it was over, the mood had grown awkward.

I had achieved my original goal of understanding her feelings better, but now I wasn’t sure what to do next.

And then.

“Hey.”

“Yes?”

Karmen called out to me with a sulky voice.

“Am I the only one?”

“Pardon?”

“I said, am I the only one who did it?”

She was upset that she was the only one confessing sins.

Karmen demanded that I confess too.

“…Well, normally this kind of thing is done by clergy…”

“The Goddess will forgive your sins. So confess the ones you’ve never been able to tell anyone—to Her.”

She repeated my own words back to me, with perfect memory and ruthless precision.

Still, she had a point.

It didn’t seem fair for me to be the only one listening.

And… there was something I could share, too.

“Just in case, I’ll say this clearly. What we say in here must never be spoken in front of anyone. Understand?”

“Yeah, I know. If someone talks about what happens during confession, the Goddess rains divine punishment, right? I do know that much, so hurry up and start.”

Well, yeah.

In a world where the Goddess literally uses divine power, no one’s foolish enough to blab about confession.

Letting out a long breath, I turned toward the Goddess and confessed my sin in front of Karmen.

“…Truth is, there’s someone I’ve fallen for.”

“Pffft—!”

“…Lady Karmen?”

“Ah, sorry, sorry. I didn’t expect confession to be this damn entertaining—I couldn’t help myself. Okay, keep going.”

“…I’ve fallen, beyond my station, for the purest of women. From the moment I first saw her, it was love at first sight. And when we met again, though I didn’t show it, my heart was pounding like it was going to explode.”

“Oh… Ooooh…”

“But she is a woman far above my reach, so I plan to keep this feeling hidden for the rest of my life. Please, I ask for my sin to be forgiven.”

It was done.

After finishing my confession, I stood up and pulled down the blanket wall.

‘I really do feel lighter after confession.’

It felt like I’d unburdened something deep in my heart.

When you’re lost, there really is nothing like religion.

“What the hell?! Why are you giving up?!”

After tidying up, Karmen shouted from behind, but I ignored her and walked out.

***

After the confession with Karmen—

“Um… Lady Karmen…?”

Karmen glared at me with eyes full of dissatisfaction.

Seeing that strange look, Ariana cautiously called out to her, but surprisingly, Karmen kept her focus entirely on me.

“What?”

She replied without taking her eyes off me.

Ariana seemed puzzled by Karmen’s behavior, but she didn’t press the issue.

“Did something happen between you and Ace? You seem… different from usual.”

“Oh, something happened alright. Something really damn big. That idiot was so frustrating.”

“Frustrating…?”

At that, Ariana looked at me with eyes that clearly said.

“What happened between you two?”

I simply smiled back as if to say, “It’s nothing.”

“It’s nothing serious. We just had a sincere conversation, that’s all.”

“A sincere conversation?”

“Right, Lady Karmen?”

I kept smiling as I looked at Karmen.

Though she clearly didn’t like the situation, she reluctantly nodded in agreement.

“A sincere conversation… Ah! Did you have a confession session?”

“Haha, that’s right, Saintess.”

“Then I shouldn’t ask any further! Still, you and Lady Karmen… having confession together… wait a minute. Ace. Confession…”

“Hm? Is something wrong, Saintess?”

Noticing Ariana’s sudden shift in tone, I asked about her condition.

But she quickly returned to her usual self, and with her bright, cheerful smile, she spoke to me again.

“Ace, if there’s ever something you want to get off your chest, you can always come to me for confession, okay?”

“Hm? Ahaha… th-thank you for that.”

“Promise?”

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

Sorry, but there’s one person in this world I can never confess that sin to—and that’s you.

As much as I care for her, I could never ask Ariana to hear that kind of confession.

How could I possibly tell the person in question about feelings like this?

Whether she sensed my feelings or not, Ariana continued chatting with me, her eyes sparkling like a puppy’s.

And so, three days passed, being watched with hopeful eyes by Ariana, and scolded with irritated eyes by Karmen.

Because his daughter kept glaring at me, Polarr must have felt bad.

He told me he’d take care of Ariana and suggested I take some free time to rest.

Though honestly, it felt more like he wanted the two of us to sort things out.

Truthfully, I also felt that this situation needed resolving.

Even though none of us—Ariana, Polarr, or I—showed it outwardly, we were all feeling uncomfortable.

So, I quietly stepped outside the wall alone.

The knights were stationed above, standing guard.

Leaning my back against the wall and sitting on the ground, I eventually noticed Karmen approaching and looking down at me.

She had a face that screamed she had a lot to say.

I let out a deep sigh and opened my mouth.

“Alright. What is it you’re unhappy about this time?”

“What am I unhappy about?! Seriously? That’s what you’re going with?!”

“Shhh… there are knights above. Try to keep your voice down.”

“Tch, fine… You probably won’t say anything unless I do that, huh.”

She sat down beside me naturally.

About half an arm’s length away.

Though we sat side by side, our eyes were fixed forward on the snowy field.

“Hey.”

She got straight to the point.

“If you like her, confess. Then date her.”

“Haha, must be nice having such a simple view of things, Lady Karmen.”

“…You little—”

“Don’t you like the Saintess too, Lady Karmen?”

“Of course I do. She’s not a guy, she’s got a great chest, and above all—she’s gorgeous.”

“I agree with you on all points.”

“Then confess already!”

“Hahaha, Lady Karmen. People should live lives that match their station. The Saintess deserves someone suitable for her. Someone of her status… isn’t someone a lowly holy knight from the slums like me could ever aim for.”

“…She doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d care about your background—”

“You know better than that. In this world, people are expected to end up with those of matching status. If not, no one takes it seriously. I have no right to reach for the Saintess.”

If I were the Hero, maybe.

But as I am now, I could never… not with the Saintess.

“Ugh, seriously… I get what you’re saying, but you’re so damn frustrating.”

“I know. It must be frustrating. But what can I do? That’s just how fate is.”

“Then what are you gonna do if the Saintess gets married? Wave goodbye and stay single for life?”

“Of course not. That would be ridiculous. Being alone… brings back old memories. It’d be painful. I’ve thought about it. I’ll probably meet someone like me and build an ordinary family.”

“…You’re insane.”

“Ouch. Coming from you, Lady Karmen, that kinda stings.”

While she cursed at me endlessly, we sat together beneath the wall, talking for a long time.

Exchanging words like a lazy river.

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know.”

“You’re a lesbian.”

“I know that too.”

“Are you gay?”

“Don’t cross that line.”

“I hope the Saintess lives happily.”

“Then go live with her yourself.”

“Still, I’m glad you seem worth saving.”

“What the hell does that even mean.”

And so on, we went back and forth for quite a while—

Until something strange entered our view.

“…Hey, are my eyes playing tricks on me right now?”

“No. I’m seeing it too.”

A small silhouette walking through the snow.

Looked to be a child.

The problem, was the massive shadow looming over them.

Two horns were growing from the top of its head.

“It’s a demonkin!”

“Damn it—there’s a child in danger!”

Seeing the demon closing in on the child, both of us bolted forward without a second thought.