Chapter 19. Symbol and Idol (9)

It’s impossible not to have any worries.

Siege warfare, after all, is something that creates injured and dead people.

Even if I believe this path is the right one, making a decision in a situation where I might be sending the people who followed me, or others who might be beyond, to their deaths, is not a pleasant task.

The problem is, things ended up this way.

I had to bear the responsibility.

“…….”

In my past life, no matter how difficult the situation, I tried to solve it alone.

I never thought of asking anything from someone who didn’t answer my prayers.

But, the situation is different now.

I don’t think of it as God, but I knew there was a being above who cared for me.

In the middle of the night, I sat up in the tent.

Since Ria and I were both on the narrow field bed, it was quite difficult to carefully slip out.

I didn’t wake up in the middle.

I couldn’t sleep from the start.

Getting out of bed, I carefully moved and knelt on the floor.

Then, I rested my elbow on the bed that was originally meant for me and clasped my hands.

-…Anna.

A voice called my name.

But the words couldn’t continue.

If it were God from the scriptures, he would have said something grand here. Like, I still have to do it, or follow my will…

But that being cannot do that. It suffers because people’s lives and deaths hang on every word it speaks.

A being that tries its best to protect everyone, even though it cannot protect everyone.

Is it right to rely on such a being?

-Even if something happens inside there.

Finally, that being spoke.

-It’s not Anna’s fault. Because if Anna hadn’t gone there, there would have been no reason to experience it in the first place.

If I weren’t here.

I wouldn’t have been praised by people. I wouldn’t have had to worry about the position of Saint, and perhaps I wouldn’t have felt unnecessary guilt.

But I was here.

And I know what that means.

I think I’m starting to understand now that I didn’t come here with some great obligation. Because that being wouldn’t have tried to burden me with such an obligation.

I pondered the reason I came here. What I was going to do, what kind of being I was going to become.

No, it’s probably not like that.

…Perhaps, I chose.

-It’s my fault.

But even after hearing my thoughts, that being said so.

-If I hadn’t shown you this world, there would have been no reason for Anna to be there.

Perhaps so.

If I hadn’t known in the first place, I wouldn’t have been interested in a world like this.

But, can it really be said that it was just because of that being’s thoughts?

“I don’t regret it.”

So, I said so.

“Because there were people I could meet by coming here.”

Yes. That’s enough.

I’m still scared. I felt burdened. I still didn’t want to become a Saint or something more.

But, I can’t give up now.

That would be… too pathetic.

-Are you really okay?

The voice asked.

What about you?

When you ascended to that position, how did it feel?

Living as a nun, gaining holy power by receiving the faith of people, and finally ascending at the end. What did it feel like?

Was it similar to mine-

For some reason, my heart calmed down. Even though nothing had been resolved.

The being above is a being like me. Not because I am great, but because the being above is just an ordinary being.

That’s why it knows people’s pain, knows what they desire, and tries to help them somehow.

For reasons no different from mine.

Since I received power, I will use it as I believe.

-…Anna.

The voice of the being above sounded a little sad.

*

Ria opened her eyes upon seeing a faint light.

Anna was praying.

If this hadn’t happened, she might have teased Anna. Because Anna, who always talked about God not existing.

But conversely, if it weren’t for this situation, Anna wouldn’t have prayed like that.

Should I get up?

Ria thought, looking at Anna praying, casting a faint light from behind her head.

Shouldn’t I somehow comfort Anna?

But if she could have done that, Anna would have told Ria.

Anna’s face, which had been anxious from yesterday until now, came to mind.

“…….”

Ria closed her eyes again. Sleep wouldn’t come.

The light didn’t last that long.

*

I had just managed to fall asleep in Ria’s arms when it became noisy outside.

I quickly got out of bed and stood up.

Immediately after, the tent fabric of our tent was pulled open.

It was still dark outside.

“The enemy is forming a defensive formation!”

A knight, already fully armored-or rather, who hadn’t taken it off since yesterday-shouted. It was Verena.

Ria moved immediately and put on her armor.

I ran outside.

Someone was already running towards us with a large tablet. The photo displayed on it showed the enemy forces lining up.

Without human forms.

“……What about the elves?”

“They haven’t been found yet. Perhaps they are in the command center?”

“Are all these beings from the castle?”

“Yes, they are.”

At the soldier’s words, I stood there blankly for a moment.

“Sister Anna?”

Perhaps they thought I was shocked.

Both the soldier and the knight looked at me with worried expressions.

But what I was thinking was a little different.

…Is that so.

So that’s how it is?

“Anna?”

Ria, who had managed to put on her armor in the meantime, looked at my face and was a little surprised.

So, that’s what I was worried about.

Of course, I was worried about our allies dying. But just as much, I was worried about the royal palace collapsing due to indiscriminate shelling.

Aren’t there civilians?

Even if it’s impossible to save all civilians completely in war, I… I am here in the name of that being above.

But then, monsters are pouring out from inside.

I don’t know why. Whether they think they can resolve it before we approach, or whether they thought it was more effective.

“Or perhaps, their military strength has weakened because the loyalists have disappeared,”

Gloria, who had approached unnoticed, said.

“And, if they only talk about rights without obligations, protecting their own lives would be much more important. Although their knowledge of the world beyond might have increased a bit, before the rebellion, only the royal family directly interacted with your world.”

Ah, right.

They said nobles occupied that royal palace.

In that case, they would be afraid of being in a situation where ‘they’ might die. Just as they are unknown enemies to us, we are unknown enemies to them.

Either way, for now, we can fight with peace of mind.

Kugung.

I could see dark clouds gathering in the distance.

“Electronic devices will be difficult to use. We can manage some shelling…”

When black rain falls, all electronic devices will be rendered useless. Although they are things with countermeasures, it’s difficult to use them continuously.

“I have a horse. Sister, please allow me the honor of letting you ride my horse-“

“No, I can ride a horse too.”

Ria interrupted Verena’s words and said.

“Besides, protecting her is my job, you know?”

“…….”

Verena’s eyes narrowed.

“Did you not touch the protected person?”

“Ah, over there.”

I quickly intervened.

“…Let’s prepare for battle first. It certainly won’t be easy this time either.”

Only after I said that did the two of them stop glaring at each other.

I placed my hand on Ria’s arm and said.

“And Ria, who did you think I was going to ride behind?”

“……Uh.”

As I looked up at Ria and furrowed my brow, Ria’s face somehow turned a little red.

“Please take good care of me, Ria. This time too.”

“……Yeah. I’ll ask you to take good care of me too.”

At my words, Ria replied.

Seeing her face, I felt a little more at ease.

*

The horse was a little scary at first, but as I slowly approached and placed my hand on its face, the horse looked at me with calm eyes.

Even though people were running around and shouting, the white-haired horse wasn’t scared of me at all, even though it was the first time seeing me.

Is this also because of holy power? The other horses around seem a bit excited.

Ria got on the horse first.

Then she extended a hand to me.

I took her hand and rode behind Ria.

My vision suddenly became higher. Even riding a motorcycle flying in the sky was a little scary, but this time I was nervous in a different sense.

“Sister Verena.”

I spoke to Verena, who was riding a horse next to us.

“Sister?”

Verena held a flag in her hand. It was a unit flag, like those seen in medieval fantasy or historical Western dramas.

“Can I hold that flag?”

“Ah.”

Without any doubt, Verena handed the flag to the hand I offered.

I had read about it before.

In the past, when communication technology was not developed, flags were markers that informed unit members where to gather.

That’s why they attacked the flag bearer first to break the enemy formation, and that’s why the person holding the flag had to be the bravest in the unit.

I don’t know if it’s accurate or not.

Because I was in a position to be a symbol in battle.

The white flag with the cross, which would never be stained by black rain, would prevent the morale of the people from breaking.

Ria smiled slightly as she saw me holding the flag.

We looked ahead.

Dark energy was surging beyond the horizon.