Chapter 19: Hope

‘Is it really a miracle?’

It made no sense that he hadn’t been infected yet. The sole survivor in a church where all clergy became infected, perfectly fine despite fighting zombies up close without a mask.

My hands trembled. My heart pounded. Irrational thoughts crept in. A miracle. A clue that could ruin the Chairman’s grand plan.

Faith and rational thought ground together with a harsh screech.

‘Could the pastor have antibodies? Immunity? Be asymptomatic?’

If so, he had to die.

If the government took him for research and developed a cure, I who thrived in the apocalypse might end up in prison in a normal world. No, perhaps a normal world itself would be my prison.

I clenched my fist tight. My nails dug into my palm. My wavering gaze fell on the pastor haloed by candlelight.

The pastor continuing service unfazed even in this situation.

‘You appeared too early.’

Just think of Pandora’s box. All manner of disasters and evils burst forth, with hope emerging last. Hope appearing now was too soon – the world hadn’t fallen enough. We needed more disaster and evil.

As I thought this, the name Hope Church and the pastor’s existence felt like some kind of omen. Like genuine, destined hope.

My murderous intent sank deep inside, sharpening to a keen edge.

‘Right. Hope shouldn’t appear this early. This is wrong.’

It should come after police records and databases were destroyed, erasing evidence of my first-day murder. Or in 30 years when I could live under a stolen identity.

My killing intent was refined dispassionately, mechanically – like editing implausible lines when writing screenplays.

“Amen.”

“Amen!”

The service hurriedly concluded around then, though the blackout hadn’t ended.

“We’ll end today’s service early. Hmm. It might be difficult leaving in the dark.”

The pastor dragged his words out uncertainly.

I snapped to attention and waved my phone as a flashlight, shouting loudly:

“I’ll guide everyone out one by one!”

“Ah. Deacon Kwon. Please handle sanitizing too. Especially those who contacted the unbeliever.”

I left that to Do-hyung, nudging him.

“Stand at the entrance and make sure everyone sanitizes.”

“Oh, yes. I mean, amen.”

Do-hyung, seeming possessed, hurried out of the chapel.

“Please rise carefully and follow me.”

While kindly smiling and guiding people from the back rows, I thought to myself. Though phones could be used now that service ended, these people passively following just me.

I had to kill the pastor and shake these believers’ faith. No, I needed to destroy this threatening group and reduce them to a manageable level I could use.

That day’s service ended messily.

The pastor, blood splattered on his mouth, disappeared into his room with a dark expression and dragging feet. Before closing his door he said:

“The situation seems to be worsening. I will pray and meditate to discern God’s will.”

The elders dispersed to prepare heading home, worried about the pastor but seemingly lacking deeper thoughts, just blindly trusting him despite his obvious concerns.

The elderly woman suddenly smiled at me.

“Our Deacon Kwon. Please look after the pastor. He hasn’t eaten dinner. Make him some ramen later. There’s kimchi I made in the fridge.”

A request only possible for me living at the church. Though she could’ve asked Do-hyung too, they strangely trusted me more than him.

The elders nodded.

“Right. The pastor’s so young to bear such a burden. Keep him company since you’re close in age.”

“Order delivery if any places are open. Here’s some money. Can’t fill up on just ramen.”

“Come on now. Delivery fees are so expensive these days. Here, take this.”

Several 50,000 won bills were held out. I accepted awkwardly with a smile.

It was plenty of money, even with delivery workers charging high fees for braving zombie threats.

“You didn’t have to… I’ll use it for the pastor.”

“Yes, enjoy the meal and guard the church well tonight.”

The six elders left in a group.

I watched their retreating backs expressionlessly before turning to Do-hyung grumbling beside me.

“Isn’t this discrimination? Why do they ignore me?”

“Hey, electricity thief. Maybe they smell your sin.”

“What’s that, murderer?”

Do-hyung’s retort left me speechless. His logic had me beat. No, I couldn’t let a subordinate win. I quickly spoke again:

“I repented through prayer. I’ve been forgiven.”

“By that logic I’m the same, you know? You’re really strange.”

Losing such a childish argument? As expected of a vicious electricity thief. I who’d only caused accidental incidents swept up in disaster couldn’t beat his shamelessness.

I sighed deeply. Not fighting was best, and using others’ weapons was second best. I chose the best option.

“This feels kind of blasphemous. Should we stop?”

“…You’re right. Forgive me, amen.”

Do-hyung, who’d learned strange things living at church, clasped his hands and bowed his head.

The church fell silent as deep night came.

The pastor rejected the late-night delivery saying he had no appetite, and I walked the dark church corridors alone.

Crunch, crunch-

My heavily muffled footsteps stretched out silently. I sank into deep thought in the darkness. A low voice rumbled:

“Betrayal…”

Was it right to betray him thinking the pastor embodied miracles? Wasn’t this somewhat irrational? The Hope Church group was so useful.

I slowly rebuilt my thinking. Rationally. Logically. Like shaping characters’ personalities and actions when writing screenplays.

Plausible logic flowed through my mind.

‘Maybe he’s just lucky. Or maybe he’s already infected and could turn into a zombie anytime.’

…Both were problems.

How long would his luck last? The maskless pastor flaunting his specialness could get infected anytime. We might see zombie pastor tomorrow morning.

Rationally judged, the church’s collapse was just a matter of time. As a private organization maintained solely by the pastor’s strength, it would fall apart the moment he became a zombie.

Sudden realization struck.

‘Either way, it’s time to betray!’

My steps halted. I felt the complex worries vanish, chains loosening as my body lightened. With the future narrowed to one path, I just had to run down it.

Betrayal. Enemy within.

My task was simple. Deal with the pastor, remove the church’s expansion power, plunder its resources.

As scenarios wrote themselves in my head-

“…?”

I tilted my head. Though only the pastor, Do-hyung and I should be in the church, light shone from the storage room. White light and someone’s shadow through the door gap.

‘Isn’t that where we store food?’

A thief? Had I finally found a thief? Right when I decided to betray? Was this heaven’s will?

I forced down my excitement and crept toward the storage room. As the distance closed, faint voices drifted over.

“Miracle my ass. Zombie blood sprayed in my mouth, how could I be fine? I need to save myself.”

A familiar voice. The elder managing supplies. Average height with a shrewd look.

I silently opened the door.

The elder frantically stuffed boxes with long-lasting foods like hardtack, salt, sugar. Though staggering under the weight, he kept cramming more in.

I was struck with doubt. An elder stealing?

“Excuse me. Are you a thief?”

“Uh, huh?”

The thieving elder’s movements froze. He awkwardly turned to face me. His gaze fixed on my hammer.

“Deacon Kwon? This isn’t- I’m not stealing-“

“Are you a thief?”

Our eyes met. Seeing my eyes, the thieving elder bit his lip then quickly drew his gun, aiming at me without hesitation. His hand didn’t shake.

“Deacon Kwon. Let’s handle this nicely. I have family at home, you know? I’m just taking food to feed them. Keep quiet about this. God teaches mercy, right?”

“No. I’m asking if you’re a thief?”

I blinked. Why was communication so difficult? I was asking to recruit him if he was a thief.

The elder studied my eyes and something he saw made his hand tremble slightly.

“Shit, religious fanatic. Can’t reason with them. Those eyes-“

“Are your ears bad? Can you pick locks? Know how to siphon gas? Have cutting tools?”

“Huh…?”

This time the elder blinked stupidly. Frustrated, I closed the storage room door.

The elder flinched needlessly, even with his gun. He spoke slowly:

“I did some stealing when I was young. But I repented and lived properly. Why are you asking…”

“Door locks, car fuel.”

“You need equipment for that. Something that makes blue light and a fuel pump. Wait, what’s this about?”

The confused elder. I smiled contentedly under my mask.

Finally, a thief appeared. The main member candidate I’d wanted so badly. His immediate recall of needed equipment showed some expertise. This was fate. Fate telling me to betray and organize my marauder group.

Licking my lips briefly, I excitedly rambled:

“Elder managing supplies. Why think so small? Is this all you learned from the pastor?”

“What is this even.”

The elder seemed to doubt if he was dreaming. Everything just felt absurd.

I kicked at the rice bags filling the storage room.

“Are you really satisfied just stealing things once or twice? Didn’t the pastor himself show us? Real theft is stealing people’s hearts, their time, their labor.”

“Ah. A dream. No wonder. Must’ve fallen asleep from tension over working after so long.”

The elder suddenly gave a hollow laugh, but when I sharply slapped his face, reality returned.

“Deacon Kwon…?”

“This is reality, Elder. Wake up. And my real name isn’t Kwon Da-in.”

The elder touched his cheek blankly while staring at me. His mask fluttered as his mouth gaped.

“The church is hopeless. Can’t stop the apocalypse. You agree, right?”

“Uh…”

“Then what should we do?”

“Survive?”

The elder parroted like a parrot. I reached out to him.

“Let’s take down the pastor and plunder all the church’s resources. Together.”

I already needed proper manpower since Do-hyung was hard to trust.

And now an enemy within appeared – the supplies elder, a thief I’d wanted. I had to recruit this guy.

“But the pastor’s a good person. That’s a bit…”

“He’ll become a zombie, won’t he? Not wearing a mask. The living, those who’ll survive, must survive. And rather than empty prayers, I’m a disaster response expert – I’m the real future.”

I talked intensely for a long while, and the apostate who’d already stolen church assets had no faith left, so he eventually yielded to my persuasion.

It followed the same logic as the elder entrusting himself to the pastor. I just presented a slightly more sustainable and reliable future.

I’d basically just twisted the psychological foundation the pastor had built when it was shaken.

The thieving elder who’d barely regained focus looked me over anew.

“…But Deacon Kwon. Were you always like this? I thought you were a complete zealot.”

“I’m just an ordinary person trying to survive the apocalypse.”

I answered vaguely. Then asked what I was curious about. It was also a marauder interview question.

“Do you really have family?”

“No. Had a wife but divorced. She took the kids too. …Don’t criticize my lie. You’re not really Kwon Da-in either. Not like demons hiding their names.”

Pass.

Marauders had to be an elite few. The apocalypse needed no dead weight.

Above all, I liked his lies that flowed as naturally as breathing. And his mindset of betraying faster than anyone when sensing danger.

The thieving elder smiled as he realized we were the same kind.

“Alright. Let’s pull off something big.”

“Looking forward to working with you, Elder.”

We grinned and started to shake hands before quickly pulling back. Had to be careful of the virus. We just smiled deviously while preparing various scenarios.

Day 35 of the zombie outbreak.

After wandering between faith and doubt, I found my answer and recruited the thief I’d wanted so badly. An expert thief, faithless apostate, natural liar.

And in the shadows beneath the cross, conspiracies ripened. A season of betrayal blooming, a season where distrust took root instead of trust. It was the apocalypse.