Chapter 19: Doki Doki literary club

“Left hand’s just for show!”

“Don’t use your hands in soccer, you idiot!!”

The sun blazed overhead.

Summer was approaching, and the humid heat was oppressive.

I sat in the stands, watching the intense soccer game on the field, wiping the sweat dripping down my arms.

Were those boys immune to the heat? They were running around and shouting as if their lives depended on this casual game.

Ah, but the defenders didn’t look too happy. T

hey were probably forced to play.

Team sports like soccer required a lot of people.

Perhaps because I was a girl now, the scene felt distant.

I buried my face in my knees, exposed below my gym shorts.

It wasn’t even El Clásico. Why was I watching so intently?

It wasn’t that I disliked P.E. I actually enjoyed it.

Yes, P.E. was good. Except when it involved teenage girls.

Were they made of straw or something? Their exaggerated reactions during past games were ridiculous.

Crying because they got hit by the ball, ganging up on me to complain… It was dodgeball.

Of course you were supposed to hit people with the ball.

What did they think dodgeball was? Were we supposed to play billiards with the dodgeball?

Crap three-cushion shot… just thinking about it made me dizzy.

I swung my legs back and forth, bored.

But joining the boys felt awkward.

Even middle schoolers tended to avoid interacting with the opposite s*x.

I would only make things uncomfortable.

So I usually ended up sitting alone in a corner during P.E. class. It was boring, but I always got a perfect score in P.E. even without practice, so it didn’t really matter.

Normally, Seon-a would be chattering away beside me, but she was absent today due to a bad cold.

Was her seemingly healthy appearance yesterday just a temporary thing? I should have been more attentive.

Anyway, this feeling of loneliness, which I hadn’t felt in a while, was bitter.

I’d been spending almost every moment with Seon-a since starting high school, so her absence felt even greater.

“…I’m bored.”

I might as well jump rope since I had nothing else to do.

Sitting here was pointless. I stood up and brushed the dust off my shorts.

My knees ached from sitting for so long.

I walked slowly towards the equipment shed, my legs moving like a middle-aged man sneaking out for a smoke break.

I reached the shed, which was unnecessarily ornate for a storage space, and turned the doorknob.

Why is he here?

Dark blue hair, contrasting with his pale skin.

His eyes widened in surprise as he saw me.

A book in his hand, suggesting he had been reading.

From that description alone, he sounded like a bookish girl, but that was ridiculous.

Just look at those broad shoulders. Perhaps a bulked-up bookish girl.

Whatever. I’d try to ignore him.

I wanted to avoid him after yesterday’s incident. There was no benefit to interacting with him.

I could feel his gaze on me, but I ignored it and walked further inside.

The jump ropes I was looking for were neatly placed on top of a dusty mat.

But as I picked them up and turned to leave, the door slammed shut.

“…Huh?”

What was this? I grabbed the doorknob and pulled hard.

But only a rattling sound followed. The door, locked from the outside, wouldn’t budge.

My mind went blank. After several attempts, I gave up and stepped back.

“Hello?!”

I cleared my throat and called for help, but only a faint echo answered.

The equipment shed was located in a secluded corner of the vast school grounds. It was only natural.

Though it didn’t feel natural to me, trapped inside.

“Is the door stuck?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm.”

A deep, melodious voice came from behind me.

He stepped forward and tried the doorknob.

But it was locked tight. Veins bulged on his long, large hands as he pulled, but only a rattling sound followed.

The metal door wouldn’t budge.

I watched blankly and sat down on the thick mat.

I think I’m trapped.

“Damn it…”

He finally gave up banging on the door and sat down on the mat next to me.

I wondered why he chose to sit beside me when there were plenty of other empty spaces, but he wasn’t that close, so I stayed silent.

I turned my head and stared at the wall.

An awkward situation, an awkward atmosphere… everything was awkward.

I wouldn’t have felt so uncomfortable if I’d been trapped alone.

But I was trapped with him, and our relationship wasn’t exactly good.

I inwardly resented him for being here at this time, but I wasn’t exactly blameless either.

“…I apologize for… what happened the other day.”

I finally spoke, the stuffy air of the shed filling my lungs.

Anything was better than this endless silence.

I turned to look at him, and his bright blue eyes, now close to mine, were staring directly at me.

“Cough! W-what?!”

I coughed, startled by his sudden proximity.

He, Kim Seong-hyeon, continued to stare intently.

“What do you mean?”

“…About what I said the other day. Even if I was angry, you’re my senior… I was being disrespectful.”

It had been a while since I’d felt so looked down upon, so I’d overreacted.

I could have chosen my words more carefully. Why did I have to use the most provocative word I could think of…?

It was all because of my temper.

I lowered my head and apologized, my voice a mumble. But he didn’t move away.

“What would you do if I confessed again?”

“What do you think?”

I avoided him, and I wasn’t ready for a relationship with a boy.

It was a visceral aversion.

He nodded calmly at my response, as if accepting it.

I’d expected as much. He hadn’t been serious.

“By the way, why did you come here alone?”

“To get a jump rope.”

“You don’t have any friends?”

“I-I do! What about you?!”

I only had one, but I did have a friend.

And a very cute one at that! Feeling a sudden surge of indignation, I raised my voice without realizing it.

“Of course I don’t. Friendship is a relationship between equals. I can’t have friends.”

In other words, no one was on his level. I was speechless at his audacity. Well… what could I say? It was his opinion.

Instead of arguing with him, I zipped my lips.

It would only be more tiring. Sometimes, giving up on understanding was a form of respect.

But my expression must have betrayed me, as he raised an eyebrow.

“You look displeased.”

“Of course I’m displeased. You’re saying everyone else is inferior to you.”

“I understand. You’re slightly better than the rest, then.”

I didn’t know whether to be happy or annoyed. Forgetting my resolution to stay silent, I scowled.

“…Frankly, that’s pathetic.”

“What?”

His expression faltered.

His arrogant demeanor annoyed me, but I continued speaking, trying to remain calm.

“What era are you living in? Did you skip the social studies classes in elementary school?”

“Ha, so you’re saying modern society is egalitarian? That’s just a pretty lie. I take back my compliment.”

“Even if there are social hierarchies, like you said, with all the talk about ‘dirt spoons’ and ‘gold spoons’…

Do you really think it’s right to openly look down on others? In a time when people are fighting for the rights of animals?”

“Morality… are you talking about morality? The strong oppress the weak. It’s the natural order. What’s wrong with that?”

He was right. Not all humans were equal. We might be equal in principle, but not in practice.

Politicians always talked about equality, but true equality was an idealistic concept.

Whenever humans gathered, differences emerged, and those differences led to discrimination.

Unless it was a perfect socialist state, this vicious cycle was unavoidable.

And history had proven time and time again that a perfect socialist state was impossible.

So I wasn’t trying to argue against his claim that not all humans were equal.

I just wanted to point out the flaw in his logic, his sense of superiority.

“You said you were superior to everyone else. But are you truly the best in this society? There are plenty of people who are better than you in certain areas, even in this school, let alone the entire country. Like athletes, aspiring singers…”

“Ha, are you saying I’m worse than an average student? That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m saying you’re not the only exceptional person. And my sister always holds the top rank in the sophomore class. She’s also the student council president. What would you do if she looked down on you?”

In the game, he held the top rank and was the student council president, but that was probably because my sister, who was in love with him, let him have it.

My sister was more than capable of surpassing him.

In looks, academics, personality… in every aspect.

“…She’s an exception.”

“An exception. The fact that you’re making exceptions already proves the flaw in your logic. How many ‘exceptions’ do you think you’ll encounter in your life? Are you going to dismiss them all as exceptions and insist you’re still right?”

“…Just… tone down your attitude. And stop judging people.”

He pressed his lips together. His already cold expression hardened, and his eyes sharpened.

Perhaps it was due to the twisted teachings he’d received since childhood.

An aura of intimidation emanated from him, pressing down on me.

Of course, it was just high school level intimidation.

It wouldn’t work on me, someone living their second life. I met his gaze head-on.

I was annoyed by this encounter, but I refused to back down.

Neither of us spoke.

We both turned our heads away, as if by some silent agreement, the awkwardness hanging heavy in the air.

In the game, he and the protagonist often had these kinds of arguments.

The protagonist, prioritizing emotions over logic, always lost. But I didn’t want to play dumb.

It wasn’t that I was particularly smart.

I was able to shut him down because his logic was incredibly flawed.

After about 30 minutes of being trapped in the cramped, stuffy shed, we were finally rescued by a boy who came to return some equipment after P.E. class.