Chapter 184

Chapter 184

Raise Three Idols Well And They’ll Launch a Confession Attack.

Episode 184: Farewell

I am not a great person.

I’m just an ordinary person struggling with luck and coincidence as my weapons.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And yet, countless stages of proving myself lay before me.

“People look at me and say things like ‘genius’ or ‘celebrity.’ They tell me to step onto the stage with those words in front.”

Even on that stage, all I could do was try my best, wishing only not to burden the kids.

“People recognize me. Manager Seon Taeyang, who appeared as a guest on Star Challenge. Composer of ‘Albatross,’ duet vocalist of ‘the Duty of Singing.’ The porter of ‘Girls in Road,’ the ratings guy of ‘First-Person Intervenor.’ There are quite a few.”

Yeah, I know the world is full of people who wish for the opportunities I have.

I even used to lecture the kids who worried like this.

Telling them, “You’re a professional. You must approach every schedule with professionalism.”

But here I was. I wasn’t someone qualified to give that advice.

“I’m not tired. I’m not complaining about having too much work or not enough sleep. If it were just work, I could survive on three hours of sleep a night and chewing packs of caffeine gum a day like before. But now, I’m just so scared of making mistakes, of letting people down. This kind of– ah.”

I realized it mid-sentence.

That the listener in front of me was Seo Eun-byeol.

Seo Eun-byeol is someone who spent her entire life enduring and dedicating herself to meet the blind expectations of her mother.

Telling someone like her about these worries was no different from whining for sympathy or asking her to lick my wounds.

Probably, Seo Eun-byeol already knew what to say.

I was the same. I struggled to overcome it. But I survived thanks to the help around me. If you’re okay with it, I can be that help for you.

Words like that.

That’s what the Seo Eun-byeol I knew would have said.

After thinking that, I tried to apologize for my careless words and end the conversation.

Seo Eun-byeol’s words would be sweet. Charming and warm.

But no matter how weak I’d become, I didn’t want to fall to the point of begging for comforting words. That was the last shred of pride I had left.

At that moment, she spoke half a beat faster than I could open my mouth.

“Just ditch it.”

“…”

It was something I never expected her to say.

“Was it ever normal to dump variety shows, songwriting, project planning, full management duties, care work, interviews, AllTube appearances, session work, and featuring all onto one manager? I mean, even if it’s a small company, this is way too much, right?”

“No, it’s not that the company is weird. I volunteered for it…”

“Even so, someone should have stopped you. Just because you’re good at everything you touch, they keep tossing more at you. ‘Please do this! I’m so excited!’ What’s that, some kind of slave company mindset? A pathetic company?”

Feeling an inexplicable sense of responsibility, I protested.

“No, our company is different. Those places don’t even properly compensate you for the work. TwoBear is different! Do you know how much I’m getting paid right now?”

Where else in the world would a small company hand out bonuses, appearance fees, royalties, and every little thing so diligently? I was being treated way better than I deserved.

“No matter how much you make, what good is it if you collapse from overwork early? You gonna use that money as ferry fare to the afterlife?”

“…”

…That was harsh.

“Just ditch it! All of it!”

“If I walk away so irresponsibly, who’s going to fill the gap?”

“Why is that your problem? That’s the President’s job!”

“…Huh? You’re right.”

Seeing me waver, Seo Eun-byeol said.

“What was it that you wanted to do, Team Leader Seon?”

“…I’m doing what I want right now. Management was my dream.”

“You said it’s hard. You wouldn’t be thinking this way if it was all that perfect.”

“…”

Those words pierced my heart deeply.

What was it that I wanted to do?

Why did the early, equally busy days at TwoBear or Flower Entertainment feel bearable?

What had I been doing, and what had I truly wanted?

And then, what came to mind were scenes engraved forever in my heart.

A girl smiling brighter than anyone else, celebrating in front of a monitor with a live chat exploding behind her.

A girl singing with just her guitar and voice, stealing the hearts of thousands.

A girl proving with her dance on a crimson-tide stage why she was the best.

And a girl acting with all her heart for the first time, in front of those who doubted her.

“…I want to make them shine.”

“…”

“Not me. I want to make those kids, who can shine brighter than anyone, shine.”

Not joking around on variety shows with celebrities.

Not being hailed as an up-and-coming composer in interviews.

But standing behind those star-like kids, watching the eyes of the crowd enchanted by their light.

And adding a tiny spark of light to that stardust—that was what I wanted.

Seo Eun-byeol looked at me as I said that and smiled faintly.

“Team Leader Seon, you’re truly a manager.”

And I nodded.

“Yeah. I’m not a celeb, an artist, or a system. I’m just… a manager.”

“Then act like a manager. Stop getting dragged around like now.”

“…But is that really okay? They’ll be disappointed.”

“Don’t be afraid to disappoint or be hated a little. If someone hates you over just that, it means your bond was never that deep. And you don’t need to fight for love in such shallow relationships.”

Seo Eun-byeol spoke with certainty, without leaning on anyone.

“So stand tall, alone, like the horn of a rhinoceros.”

It was only after hearing those words that I realized.

The person before me was no longer the Seo Eun-byeol I once knew.

She wasn’t the Seo Eun-byeol I had loved.

Because the Seo Eun-byeol I knew would never have said something like that.

A frustrating girl who was dependent, lacked confidence, and only knew how to work herself stupid.

A girl so lonely that she wished for me to lean on her as much as she leaned on me.

And yet, she was lovable.

That person was gone now.

After silently saying farewell, I spoke.

“Next time… is it okay if we talk casually?”

Seo Eun-byeol looked slightly surprised, then reached out her hand and said,

“Of course. But… is it okay if I do too?”

I smiled a little at that and grabbed her hand. Then I answered.

“Of course.”

To my newly made friend.

After Seon Taeyang declared he would return to the office late at night and left, Seo Eun-byeol, sitting alone at the table and fiddling with the glass he left behind, sighed and spoke.

“…Seriously, I’m such an idiot.”

Then, resting her chin on her hand, she lifted her glass, gazing at the rippling soju, and muttered words no one could hear.

“Like a fool… it was obviously the only chance I could ever have caught. We should have been clinging to each other, sweeping away each other’s wounds… and here I was, giving advice. Did I really think Team Leader Seon would ever show that kind of weakness again?”

Seo Eun-byeol answered that question silently to herself.

‘No… because he’s strong.’

And then she laughed bitterly.

“Ah… I shouldn’t have given up on being an idol. I’m so jealous, seriously.”

Sitting alone, envying the four Cinderellas who had met their prince, Seo Eun-byeol cried like that.

‘A composer is an artist. And an artist is a protagonist. To carve your colors into the world, to prove your existence—that is what it means to be a composer.’

‘A composer is someone who handles systems. And systems are a history of striving for love. To draw out the best model answer within that system—that’s what a composer is.’

Fuck that.

That’s not what I want. That’s not what I want to achieve with composition as my tool.

Oh James and Cheon Jonghoon both hoped people wouldn’t have misplaced expectations, that they would just do what they wanted themselves.

As for me, I’ll simply do what I want.

I tore apart the mastered track of ‘I’ll be by your side.’

It wasn’t about chasing a 90 or 100 point quality score—it was purely to make the kids singing it shine.

“…”

And in the midst of that desperate struggle, I realized it. This song couldn’t be completed as it was.

With just the tools called ‘voices’ available here, the purpose couldn’t be achieved.

What I needed wasn’t tools for the song—it was protagonists.

As soon as I made that decision, I grabbed my stuff and stood up.

To go greet my stars.

Standing in front of the Girl Revolution kids’ dorm, I realized reality.

…Thinking about it now, this is just being a nuisance, isn’t it?

It definitely was.

Dragging out kids who were probably ready to crash after brutal training and packed schedules could only be called one thing: being a nuisance.

But there was no time.

Considering the schedule, I had to persuade the entire staff tomorrow morning.

And I couldn’t go into the battle of changing the album’s concept with weak evidence.

Feeling deep conflict, I swallowed hard and firmly pressed the doorbell.

The electronic security system beeped, and soon a voice came through.

-Who is it?

“Ah, hey Yoori. Sorry it’s late. It’s Team Leader Seon.”

-Team Leader Seon?

-Taeyang oppa?

-Taeyang ssam came?

Yoori was the one who picked up the call, but from the voices, it sounded like the other girls were gathered around too.

I spoke as if addressing all of them at once.

“Could I see you for a bit? I have a favor to ask.”

-…Wait five—no, ten minutes!

After that, I heard frantic voices and the sounds of hurried clattering beyond the security system.

-Taeyang oppa’s waiting at the door?! Yeoreum, my mascara! Where’s my mascara?

-There’s a new one under the cabinet, Gaeul unnie, open it!

-Aaah, I can’t draw my eyebrows, Gaeul unnie, what do I do…?

-Come here, I’ll do them for you.

-Yoori, is it okay if I go out wearing this?

-No, Yeoreum unnie, are you crazy?! Your underwear’s showing! Weren’t you the one who hated revealing clothes?

-It’s okay to show a little… actually, it might be better…

-Should I do that too…?

-…Ah, then me too.

-Just wear your damn sweatsuits, you idiots!

“…”

…Girls, I can hear everything.