Chapter 18. Empathy and Understanding (4)

How should I interpret what Ria is saying?

All the words are good, and they are appreciated. But… why is Ria doing this much for me?

In the original work, Ria didn’t act this much even towards Si-yun.

What about towards the Saint?

They fought every time, and competed for Si-yun, but they were also close friends. Just as Ria would risk her life to escort the Saint, the Saint also seemed to rely on Ria quite a bit.

Is it because of that influence? Well, in terms of fighting skills, I am far inferior to Si-yun.

Whatever the reason, it felt good that Ria said that to me.

I was just a little scared.

What if, by any chance, Ria died and I survived?

“What if, I… perhaps, for the sake of the world-“

“What if.”

As I was about to talk about the worst-case scenario, Ria cut me off first.

“What if, you have to die to save this world? If that being called God sent you for that reason, it would probably be the worst evil god imaginable.”

“…….”

I had nothing to say.

It was also one of the reasons why I didn’t particularly like the being that people called God in my past life.

“If the being that sent you thinks of you even a little, it must be thinking of a way for you to live. If your presence here is something that being anticipated, then it must have fully anticipated my existence as well.”

Is that so? Is that why I am here?

Is it all anticipated by that being that I fell for Ria, and that Ria can be so devoted to me?

“I’m doing it because I want to.”

Ria said.

“Not because someone told me to, nor because I received a revelation.”

Somehow, those words didn’t seem to be directed only at me.

“Because I want to.”

“……Is that so.”

“What about you? Do you really want to sacrifice yourself for this world? Is that why you’re doing it?”

“That…”

Honestly, I don’t know.

It’s scary and heavy. But at the same time, I thought that if only I could do it, I should.

That’s the rational and logical judgment. If one person can save the world by bearing it all.

“You’re thinking of shouldering it all alone now, aren’t you?”

“Uh…”

“What if it were me? What if I shouldered everything and died alone, and that could save the world? Would you let me do that?”

“No?”

“Why? I’m the child of a hero, you know? All the heroes of that era were like that. The current world stands on the blood of those who sacrificed themselves. Since I grew up aiming to be a hero from childhood, wouldn’t it be good to reach that position?”

I had no words to say to Ria’s words.

There were a few counterarguments that came to mind, but no matter what I said, it would all be contradictory. Because my existence couldn’t be excluded from it.

I turned my gaze away from Ria and looked forward again.

The sky, which had been slightly bluish just a moment ago, was now completely dyed red by the sunset.

As we silently watched the sunset together for a long time, I heard footsteps from behind.

Not just one person, but the footsteps of quite a few people. And I also heard the clanking sound, as if they were wearing armor.

“It seems they’ve come to pick us up.”

“Indeed.”

Ria’s words were met with my calm reply.

*

I had expected some measures to be taken.

However, the Nun Superior, who managed and supervised us, just watched us silently. The Priest also just nodded, with an expression that made it impossible to know what he was thinking.

I thought they would separate me and Ria into different rooms, but they didn’t.

I was a little… tired.

Too many things had happened throughout the day.

However, once we entered our rooms, we quickly returned to our usual selves.

We took turns washing up, drying our hair, and quietly changing into our pajamas.

Ria went to Ria’s bed, and I went to my bed.

Since it was winter, the inside of the blankets was a little cold.

For a while, I lay down and stared blankly at the ceiling.

…I can’t sleep.

Right.

Normally, I stayed up quite late with Ria. Usually, I went to bed a little past midnight, and when I stayed up late, I was awake until two in the morning.

It depended on whether we were watching a movie or something like a drama.

Why am I in my own bed alone? Was it because I felt a little awkward about what happened today?

Putting my arm on Ria’s arm, holding hands while walking around, leaning against each other while sitting- was it that awkward?

Not at all.

Slowly getting out of the bed that was starting to warm up.

“Anna?”

Ria, who was looking at her phone for a moment before bed, looked at me with a slightly surprised expression as I approached her bed.

“It’s a little cold.”

As I wriggled into the bed, Ria smiled and moved over to make space.

“Aren’t we watching a movie today?”

“Do you want to?”

Ria placed her chest on top of my body and fumbled for the tablet beyond the bed.

Even though we could just switch places, Ria was always like this. I also let Ria be.

Ria didn’t particularly mind, but I did. That fact that I was mindful was important.

Ria lay down next to me, lying straight, and I also lay down next to Ria, lying straight.

As I held up one side of the tablet with one hand, Ria, as usual, wrapped her arm around the back of my neck and embraced my shoulder.

Right. As usual.

We were this close, weren’t we?

I realized it anew.

My face flushed slightly, but it wasn’t much different from usual.

Because I had always wished for Ria to do this.

Ria chose the movie. It was an action movie, but honestly, the content didn’t really register in my mind.

The events of today kept replaying in my mind.

The most intense memory was the memory of our lips meeting.

Ria said it was my first kiss, but I had lost consciousness at the time, so I had no memory of it.

The first kiss I remember would probably be that moment.

“…….”

Could we do it again?

Since it was an action taken deliberately to make people misunderstand, perhaps another opportunity would arise?

It’s pathetic of me to be thinking such things even in this situation.

Normally, I would doze off before the movie ended, but today, I couldn’t sleep properly because I was lost in such thoughts until the end of the movie.

Even after the movie ended.

Somehow, Ria seemed to be the same.

*

And then a few days passed.

I thought the church might just let it slide, but it seemed there had been a lot of discussion within the church during that time.

What to do about my position. Whether Ria could continue to be with me.

“First of all, we will not separate the two of you.”

The Nun Superior spoke calmly.

“And the canonization ceremony that was scheduled to proceed has also been postponed.”

“It wasn’t canceled?”

“Yes. For now, it has only been postponed. Of course, the date has not been set.”

This meant that Ria’s plan had worked to some extent.

However, it wasn’t a complete success, as it wasn’t a complete cancellation.

Ria didn’t seem disappointed at all.

“Is there a chance… that we might be expelled or something?”

“I don’t think that will happen.”

“What if a normal nun does that?”

“…Then the story would be different.”

The Nun Superior sighed deeply at my question.

“Yes. And, because of that ‘difference in the story,’ there is a problem. For you to remain in your positions… the church also has to change somewhere.”

In a very fundamental way.

“Perhaps we might have to re-examine parts that we’ve left untouched because they were too complicated. There will probably be quite a bit of turmoil.”

Those who currently hold power in the church’s upper echelons are people who were originally religious. There are even those who still adhere to the old religion almost as it was. Only the ‘interpretation’ of ‘God’ has changed.

Therefore, it will take quite some time to change that foundation.

“…….”

The Nun Superior looked at us silently for a moment, then opened her mouth.

“I also had a religion in the past. Did I tell you?”

“Uh, no.”

I answered with a bit of surprise at the sudden confession.

“I’ve been here for quite a long time. Yes, and I’ve seen firsthand how people’s beliefs change.”

“…….”

Hmm.

Hearing her say that makes me feel quite conflicted.

“Actually, to be honest, my belief in that part is unlikely to change easily.”

“I think that’s unavoidable.”

As I nodded, the Nun Superior smiled slightly.

“Yes, it might be unavoidable. Perhaps in the past, I would have tried to separate you, scold you, and persuade you somehow.”

“…….”

“Even now, although I don’t understand.”

The Nun Superior looked at me silently.

“…Your face, Sister, looks brighter and happier than I’ve ever seen it before. Without a single flaw.”

“What?”

I instinctively touched my face, and the Nun Superior stood up with a gentle smile.

“If that’s the case, I think it might be enough.”

Ah, I see.

The Nun Superior had been watching me throughout my time here. Whenever I caused trouble, she was the one who had the most headaches because she got caught up in it.

“Perhaps, the moment has come to change my beliefs once more.”

The Nun Superior said that and left.

I sat blankly for a while, then looked towards Ria.

Ria was looking at me with a sly smile, so I quickly got up from my seat.

And then, turning my face away from where Ria could see it, I quickly moved as if to escape.

Ria got up and followed me closely.

Just as it has always been since we met.