The Fact That I Like Someone…

“Why does Han Woo-jin suddenly look so happy?”

“I don’t know, maybe he had a really satisfying dump in the bathroom.”

“Ugh, that’s disgusting-! This is why you guys don’t have girlfriends!”

“Anyone listening would think you have a boyfriend, Kang Yu-ri.”

“I admit it, totally admit it.”

My friends started bickering as they observed how I was smiling happily after returning from the bathroom, when I had looked like death before I went.

My feelings about this scene were:

Safe!

Ha, is that you again, Han Woo-jin?

Honestly, when I was waiting for Ye-rin in front of the bathroom, I was trembling thinking about what to say. Should I apologize first? But when I actually faced Ye-rin, words flowed naturally, making me wonder if I had always been this eloquent.

I couldn’t help it.

When her gloomy face from coming out of the bathroom brightened up the moment our eyes met.

When I saw her cute attempts to hide her feelings even though I could already see through everything.

I had to set aside all the excuses I had prepared and face her honestly too.

It was a good decision to follow her to the bathroom. I’m brilliant.

After returning to my seat with a mind as serene as a river, I soon noticed Se-ah and Ye-rin getting up from their table.

When I unconsciously looked their way, my eyes met Ye-rin’s pink ones, which were also looking at me.

Fluttering-

As if telling me to look only at her.

Seeing Ye-rin smile with her eyes and wave her small hand at her chest, I couldn’t help but smile too.

‘See you later.’

I wasn’t sure if this silent message would get across, but I secretly waved my hand under the table, and Ye-rin’s eyes curved even more.

After those two left, my urgent problem was resolved.

Now nothing could ruin my good mood, and the result was the turmoil in front of me.

“Ha, you kids. What would you know?”

“What are you saying? When’s your birthday again?”

“Are you crazy?”

“Are you sick, Woo-jin?”

“Lower your voices, lower your voices. You ugly ones.”

I got up from my seat with these monkeys who were growling “Woowoo-” at my sincere facts.

We had talked enough, and sitting in the café all day was making me restless.

After some deliberation about where to go next, we decided on a karaoke place.

Honestly, if Kang Yu-ri hadn’t been there.

With just three guys, we would obviously have gone to a PC bang.

When Kang Yu-ri said to just try going to a PC bang, the manly Kim Yo-han said “A woman… talking back?” and got his shin kicked, so we had no choice but to compromise on karaoke.

“You~ idiot- it’s really not like thaaaaat-!!”

This bastard Kim Yo-han, who was grumbling about why karaoke of all places right before we came.

Now that we’re here, he’s all excited, reserving songs first and singing his heart out, which was unbelievable.

“Listening to that idiot’s voice makes me feel like I’m going to the emergency room.”

“…I agree.”

I couldn’t disagree with Kang Yu-ri’s disgusted comment just this once. He really sings terribly.

Hmm.

With the ER-worthy noise piercing my ears like a funeral dirge from KaXos, I looked around the karaoke room.

Ye-rin and I had agreed to contact each other later about where we each went today, but I realized there’s no reason I can’t do it now, right?

Later it would be enough to just talk about what we did here and how it was.

Click-

Thinking I’d send something, I took a picture of the karaoke room, and Kang Yu-ri beside me asked:

“What are you taking a picture of?”

“Huh? Oh, just to tell someone I’m at karaoke.”

“Who? Your parents?”

“What parents? We’re not elementary school kids.”

“Then who?”

“…None of your business.”

“Could it be a girlfriend? No, you said you don’t have one. Is it someone you’re interested in?”

Damn it. Is this what they call a woman’s intuition or whatever? She’s annoyingly perceptive.

Seeing that I couldn’t answer, Kang Yu-ri started squealing with interest, and soon the other two guys looked at me as if wondering what was going on.

“What? Han Woo-jin, are you interested in someone?”

“Did you mean ssam (fight) but said it wrong?”

“Wow, that’s so lame. Really.”

“Your face.”

“It’s not like that, you idiots. It’s just… well, a friend’s younger sister. We’ve gotten closer recently.”

Seeing them bickering amongst themselves, I spoke honestly, feeling like they’d make an even bigger fuss if I left it alone.

…I didn’t want to talk about it.

I had never shared this kind of thing with friends or shown this side of myself, so it was embarrassing.

I wanted to hide it because I couldn’t think of any good answer if they asked why I was sending pictures to a friend’s sister.

However, my worries missed the mark unexpectedly.

“Eh, what? I thought it was going to be an interesting story.”

“As usual, Kang Yu-ri, you’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Hey, I didn’t know either!”

I wasn’t hoping for them to show interest in my answer, but.

Their seeming loss of interest confused me even more.

“…That’s unexpected?”

“What is?”

“I thought, um, you know… you guys would go crazy, I mean, ask more questions.”

They asked with even more confusion as if saying “Going crazy is too much-“.

“What’s there to ask about? You said it’s a friend’s sister.”

“…Right?”

“Then she’s an elementary school student, right?”

“……Right?”

“Oh come on, what kind of romance could you have with an elementary school student~”

“Uh…?”

“Hey, think about it the other way. How would you feel if I were interested in your sister?”

‘Oppa, I’m getting close to your friend Kim Yo-han!’

—This fucking shit.

Just thinking about it made bile rise up in my throat and my fists clench.

“Don’t cross the line, you asshole.”

“This guy, always calling his sister a pig and gorilla, but when someone else does it…”

It’s true that I call Han Se-ah a pig and gorilla, but others can’t do that.

That’s what family is. Only I can criticize them.

“Anyway, that’s how it is, you bastard. How could you be interested in a friend’s sister? If you break up, how would you face that friend? Especially with an elementary school kid. We’re middle schoolers now, you know?”

You idiot.

You were going crazy saying how pretty that elementary school girl was as soon as you saw her at the café earlier, you know?

And we were also elementary school students just a year ago, no, just a few months ago, so what’s the deal with just a one-year age difference?

And what do you mean “how would you face them if you break up”? Just don’t break up, what’s the problem, damn it?

It felt like my head was burning up as if someone was rummaging through it.

Countless rebuttals came to mind that I could have shouted right now, and they rose up to my throat, but.

Soon those words didn’t come out of my mouth and dispersed into the air, sinking back into my body.

Why was that?

I could have laughed it off saying “I could be interested too, you know,” treating it as a joke.

But I couldn’t.

A feeling of uneasiness, a feeling of not wanting to admit it.

Ah, I realized. The reason I wasn’t denying it was.

Because what came out of Kim Yo-han’s mouth wasn’t completely wrong. Was it because I had unconsciously accepted it a little?

Feeling a tingling sensation in my fingertips, I looked down and saw that I had been clenching my fist without realizing it.

After that, I don’t remember clearly what I said.

Just that the drink I had to moisten my uncomfortable, stuffy throat.

Tasted bitter for some reason.

**

“Ha….”

On my way home after parting with my friends at the karaoke place.

Originally, we had planned to hang out more after karaoke, but maybe because I ruined the mood.

We dispersed with a promise to meet again next time.

Walking alone on the street, I kept thinking about what had happened earlier.

What if I had answered Kim Yo-han’s words this way? What if I had responded like that?

In my imagination, I calmly countered point by point and made Kim Yo-han submit, but it was too late now.

“Haha….”

Why couldn’t I stand up confidently then?

Was it because I wasn’t sure of my feelings yet?

Why wasn’t I sure?

…Maybe I was unconsciously thinking of Ye-rin as a tree I couldn’t climb?

…Then what kind of tree could I climb?

Kang Yu-ri and other girls unconsciously came to mind.

That made me laugh wryly.

How pathetic of me.

No matter how many excuses I made, there was only one answer.

I was.

Afraid.

Afraid of myself falling too quickly for someone named Seo Ye-rin.

Afraid that this feeling I was experiencing for the first time in my life.

Might not come true.

That I might not be good enough.

That’s why I couldn’t acknowledge Ye-rin and her group when we ran into each other at the café.

And why I couldn’t confidently express my feelings in front of my friends at the karaoke place.

Because it might not work out. Because I didn’t want to show an embarrassing side of myself to my friends.

Because I was afraid someone might look at me and say, “You? With her?”

“Haah….”

Seo Ye-rin, Seo Ye-rin.

At first, it was clearly just goodwill.

I didn’t care about looks at all. I would have definitely helped even if it wasn’t Ye-rin crying there when we first met.

But can my subsequent actions simply be called goodwill?

Waiting for school to end every day because I want to see her.

Constantly checking my phone in anticipation of her reply.

This relationship where we naturally exchange eye smiles when our eyes meet.

Can this really be simply dismissed as “because she’s a friend’s sister”?

When I ask myself if I would have been like this if it wasn’t Ye-rin.

My answer was NO.

If I were to put a name to these feelings of mine that aren’t just goodwill.

Dare I call it first love…?

I felt my face burning up.

Even though no one was watching, I unconsciously covered my face.

Song lyrics say that first love never works out.

To think that Seo Ye-rin is my first love.

“What kind of difficulty level is this…?”

Even I thought it would be arduous.

Suddenly, I remembered something I had seen on the internet before.

The fact that I like someone could be hurtful to that person…

Back then, my friends and I had laughed our heads off reading it.

—I didn’t know it would be about me.

As Se-ah said, I had never once thought I would fall short anywhere. But precisely because the other person is Seo Ye-rin, I felt a happy kind of pain.

Seo Ye-rin, just wait.

Someday, when I feel I have become someone who isn’t embarrassing to Ye-rin. Someone worthy of her.

I’ll confess my feelings.

That’s what I promised myself.

…Not knowing that I might greatly regret this decision later.